Meredith

Rain, wine, and a trip down memory lane don’t mix, I decided, after my second glass. I’d spent the afternoon going through the pictures of Colt’s house, the barn, and the rest of the ranch. They were damn good, too good to be wasted in a magazine that only rich people and architecture students bought. But that magazine paid the bills, for now at least. If Diana ever heard about my moment or two of weakness, I’d be done for.

I’d had an entire flight back to Chicago to figure out the truth: it was more than just a moment of weakness. It was something I had dreamed about since I was a little girl. He was every bit a fixture of home as my own house.

Now, I was sitting on the living room floor of my apartment, going through a very different set of pictures. I’d tried to dig up some original photos of the old ranch house to show the renovations side by side in the article. After finding two or three great photos of the porch and the living room with its stone fireplace, I’d happened on picture after picture of Colt and my brother…and me.

At first the pictures were a pleasant surprise, and a few of them were even funny. By the time I reached the bottom of the box, I’d been struck by an unbelievable thought, one that had never crossed my mind until that very moment: Colt had been a big part of my life back then. More then just my brother’s friend. More than just a little crush.

There were dozens of photos of the two boys spread out over the antique steamer trunk that served as my coffee table, and scattered among them were just as many pictures of the three of us together. Riding horses, fishing in the stream, walking on the split rail fence like it was a tightrope, going to 4H competitions and rodeos. But there were just as many pictures of just Colt and me, obviously taken by Bryant with his 35mm camera or snapped by my mom while we were doing something goofy. In all of them, Colt is looking at me, never the camera. Whether I was proudly holding up a skinny little fish on the end of my hook or waving from the back of a horse, he was looking at me every time.

Colt had always been a part of my life, but the twisted way I remembered things as an adult meant I now looked back on him as just my brother’s friend. Not my friend. And certainly nothing more. But these pictures told a different story, one where his life and mine had been so intertwined that we might as well have been one big family instead of the Stones and the Forbes.

I loved him. I always had. And while I’d somehow managed to convince myself he was just being nice to Bryant’s kid sister, these long-forgotten photos told a different story. I was guilty of not allowing myself to imagine something I never knew I had, and then when I finally got my hands on him, I’d walked away like he didn’t matter.

There weren’t enough tissues in my cramped apartment to handle the hours of sobbing. I’d finally resorted to toilet paper, and when that got dangerously low I switched to trying to control the flood with paper towels. The end result was a messy pile of emotional carnage, the evidence of which surrounded me like a sopping wet barricade.

It was only because I needed to breathe that I heard a knock on my door. It’d be just like my neighbors to come complain that I was heartbreaking too loudly. The nerve of coming up here to complain only switched my sadness to fury, and I flung open the door ready to go toe-to-toe.

“You’ve got some ner— Colt,” I said, my voice fading to a whisper.

My breath caught in my throat as I stared at him, looking almost unrecognizable. His jeans and boots had been replaced by khakis and loafers, and his plaid button up shirt was gone, replaced by a starched white shirt. The only thing that remained of the Colt I knew was his typical gentlemanly white t-shirt beneath. His hair, while still threatening to turn unruly at a moment’s notice, was brushed back from his face, giving him the appearance of a sinner on his way to church.

“Colt, what’s this? You look… you sure don’t look like the cowboy I know. What are you—” I started to ask.

He took one step towards me and wrapped me in his arms, pulling me close to his chest. He looked at my wide eyes for a second, obviously judging my reaction, before kissing me hard.

I practically fell against him, so relieved to feel him close to me again. Even as my mind was swimming with questions, I blocked all thought and just tasted him, remembering how this had felt only a day ago. I held my lips to his like we were made for each other. The few hours since I’d felt him hold me felt like so much longer, like weeks had passed instead of hours.

“Wait just a second, I don’t understand,” I finally asked, pulling away when the questions became too much. “What are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t just let you go, Meredith. Not after you’d finally come all the way home.” He brushed my hair back from my face, taking in the sight of my swollen, bloodshot eyes with a mixture of confusion and worry. “You’ve been crying… because of me?”

“Yeah,” I admitted after scrambling for some plausible excuse. It was almost a relief to admit it, and my whole body slumped with the confession.

“But why? You’re the one who left.”

Instead of an accusation, it was followed up with the softest kiss on my forehead, his arms encircling me even tighter.

“Because I can’t have you. You’re my brother’s friend, and my work assignment, and your life is back there on the ranch, working your family’s land. It all doesn’t work together, it just doesn’t line up.” I rambled on, and then gave up trying with a tearful sigh.

“Darlin’, none of that matters, least not to me. Besides, how could your family be put out by us being together? Who else could your family want for you than someone they’ve known their whole life? There’s no way they’d rather see you with a stranger you met off in the city, or some far-flung country where you were working. And once your article is finished, there’s no one to say that we can’t be together.”

“Meredith,” he said, taking my chin with his fingertips and lifting my face to meet the most sincere look I’d ever seen, “I can’t let you go. I never really understood that, but I’d already let you go so many times over the years. It took watching you get in that car and leave to know what I’d done. But I’ve come to ask you to reconsider. I’ll beg, if that’s what it takes…”

The corners of my mouth turned up slightly at the thought of Colt begging on his knees for me to be his, and he took my smile for reassurance. He kissed me again, walking me backwards and closing my apartment door behind him. We’d made it a few feet before I bumped into the coffee table, jolting us back to reality.

“What’s this?” Colt asked, looking down over my shoulder. I turned and was flooded with embarrassment. The evidence of my pity party was scattered all over the floor, but that wasn’t what had caught his eye.

He stepped around me and picked up a picture from the table, holding it closer to examine it. His eyes squinted slightly, then his face lit up.

“Oh my god, I remember this!” he said softly, a hint of amazement in his voice. He bent and picked up another photo, and then another, turning them over to see the dates that had been penciled in by hand on the back. “You’ve had these all this time? Look, there’s my dad in this one!”

I hurried to look, kicking myself for not having thought of it sooner. Of course his father would be in at least a few of the photos, his grandfather, too. He must miss them terribly.

“These are just…incredible. I had no idea you’d hung onto them. Look, there we all are having dinner. I remember this, it was the Fourth of July and we’d all gone down to the lake for the day. It was such a great day.” His voice trailed off as the memory took root in his mind, but he finally whispered, “God Meredith, you were beautiful even back then.”

He turned to look at me, hunger in his eyes. “You were always so beautiful… and I love you. I always have. I see the shy, knobby-kneed boy in this picture and I remember how much he loved to see you walking up the road, sent over on your bicycle on some errand for your mama, or just coming to spend the afternoon out there.”

It was all I could do to keep breathing, let alone reply. With every passing second, Colt’s happy smile began to falter, certain that I didn’t feel the same way. But without the right words, I answered the only way I could: I kissed him hard, clinging to his shirtsleeves as though I couldn’t stand the thought of ever letting go.

Without separating us, Colt fumbled behind him, lowering us both to the couch. He pulled me onto his lap and held me close as I invited his kiss, thrilling in the steady, desperate stroking of his tongue against mine. The feeling sent a feverish shockwave through me, and I wondered if it would ever not feel new like this. I wrapped both arms around behind him until he was close enough to make me believe this was all real.

I reached for the buttons on his starched shirt, opening them one by one. Before his scars were exposed, I was afraid he would stop me like he had that first night. Instead, he shrugged out of the shirt and reached behind his neck to pull his undershirt off, then slid my old college sweatshirt off over my head and let it land in a pile on the floor. He held me, our chests pressed together, sharing the warmth between us, before leaning me back until my elbows rested on the trunk behind me.

He lavished my nipples with his scorching mouth while I let my head fall back, savoring the wet sensation of his tongue swirling in circles around each one. I twined my fingers with his and guided his hand up to my breast, kneading the soft flesh with his hands beneath mine. I could have stayed that way for hours, but Colt had better plans.

“This isn’t why I came,” he started to say. “I just had to… I needed to see you. But you’re so damn beautiful.” He pulled me up to sit on his lap, then turned until I fell back against the sofa, resting my head on a throw pillow. Within seconds he’d shed the khakis and fancy shoes, then finished undressing me.

Nestled between my thighs, Colt drove into me. The night at the ranch, we had been rough blinded with our own needs, followed by playful the next morning. But this was frantic, almost desperate, as if the time apart had made life that much shorter. My hips rose to meet his thrusts as Colt sat up on his knees, clutching my ass beneath me and pulling me against him. His cock filled me completely and I arched my back with the desire to somehow take even more.

My first moan only made him quiver inside me, but as I bit down on my lip to keep from shouting, he picked up the pace, pulling almost all the way out and grinding in for more with every movement of his hips.

“I want you, Meredith. Your mine now. I won’t let you go,” he rumbled through gritted teeth, holding back until he knew I was satisfied.

He slipped a hand between us and pressed his thumb against my sweet spot, circling quickly and increasing the pressure until I couldn’t hold back anymore. I cried out as I came, clutching him tightly and refusing to let go.

When his own orgasm crashed over him, I held on tighter, watching him intently. He’d never looked more gorgeous, but he also still looked every bit like the boy I’d loved my whole life.

“Come back with me,” Colt panted as he held me, smiling as he fought to catch his breath. I slid out from under him slightly to give him more room, and then stared at him for a lengthy pause.

“No, I’m serious. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, just come back for a little while, get to know your home again. You and me, we’ll just spend some time together and let you get reacquainted with Texas.”

“I don’t know…” I answered, but deep down, I knew the heart of the problem, what if this passed for him? It’d taken many years and countless miles to finally let go of my home. Going back and spending time there—with Colt, of course—would just rip the old scab off.

“What have you got to lose?”

“What if you figure out that you’re just enjoying sticking it to your best friends sister. What if I can’t be that girl in your head? The one who is the perfect little housewife like our mamas were? I’m not that kind of girl. What if you end up hating me?”

“I know who you are. You are not the same girl and I’m not that boy. Lots of things have changed in both of us. And that means my ranch isn’t going to play out like my grandpa or my daddy. That’s fine with me. I don’t want that either. But there’s no reason it can’t be a whole new kind of wonderful for us.”

“Colt…”

“I won’t ever hate you. I won’t trap you into a life you can’t live,” he replied, shaking his head. “But I’ll make you a deal. You don’t want to stay, then I’ll fly you anywhere you want to go. Just please, Meredith, just come home for a while… and be with me.”

The look in his eyes was sincere. This was more than just a one-night stand, for him, too. He wasn’t just making the grand gesture just in case my brother found out. I hesitated, and then nodded.

“Fine. But I’m packing light,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood. “I don’t know how long you’ll put up with me.”

“Honey, I’ll keep you as long as you want to be mine,” Colt kissed me softly.

Reluctantly, he rolled away and held out his hand, helping me to my feet. He looked around the small apartment as if appraising it, and looked back at me with a skeptical expression.

“What?” I demanded defensively. “I mean, so it’s not a sprawling, three-story Texas ranch house with stainless steel appliances and solar shingles and skylights and a wrap-around porch, but… well crap, now that I hear myself say it, yeah okay, this place is kind of a dump.”

“Hey now, it’s not a ‘dump,’ but it’s not exactly… roomy?” he said, scrambling for something complimentary to say.

“Well, it’s always just been more of a place to crash since I traveled so much. I never really tried to make it much of a home, I suppose.”

“It’s certainly livable. Let’s just go with ‘cozy’ and leave it at that? But speaking of leaving, we gotta get going.”

“What? We’re going now?” I asked, looking around in a near panic. “How am I supposed to pack anything on such short notice? I’ve got to leave word with my boss, I need to get the neighbors to water my plants—”

“Meredith,” Colt said softly, silencing me for a moment with a kiss. “It’ll be all right. Let’s get some things together. You can send an email to that old boss lady of yours. Heck, you can bring your plants on the plane—I own it! How many you got, we’ll pull ’em behind us in a wagon if we have to!”

He held both my hands in his until I finally relaxed, my shoulders unwinding as I laughed weakly. I stepped around the partition that was supposed to create the illusion of a bedroom, reached my suitcase out from under the bed, and flipped it open on the covers.

“Okay. What do I need to bring?”

We spent half an hour packing a few things, with Colt’s promise that there were indeed still stores in Texas if I’d forgotten anything. With each of us holding a bag and a plant—to be fair, they were plants I’d grown from seeds that I’d picked up in Uzbekistan, and I was pretty proud of them—we raced out the door to the sleek black town car that waited at the curb. Within minutes, we were pulling up beside a Lear jet idling on a tarmac at the nearby airfield.

“I don’t remember seeing this old thing out behind the house,” I joked, nudging Colt as we walked towards the rollup stairway.

“I’ve had to land this in a field once, and that was plenty of adventure for me. Besides, she’s prettier when she’s surrounded by a bunch of ugly old crop dusters at the airfield in town. Kinda like setting a racehorse in a paddock with a bunch of plow mules. Or like lining you up next to bunch of beauty queens at the county fair…there’s just no comparison.”

I blushed at his southern charm. It took all my strength not to argue with his assessment of what I thought were my rather plain-looking features, but I managed.

Once we took off, I settled back into the oversized leather seat and let it support my weary body. Colt, seated across from me in a matching chair, leaned forward and pressed a button on my armrest, and the chair slowly reclined for me. Once I was laid back and comfortable, he tugged on my ankle just lightly enough to slide me closer to him, taking off one of my shoes and then the other. Instead of falling asleep, I was wide-awake under his touch as he rubbed my feet with his large, warm hands.

His powerful hands worked all the knots and tension out of my feet before twining their way up my ankles. Colt slid my pants leg up higher to massage my calf, and it was both incredibly relaxing and super exciting at the same time. He placed one hand on the back of each of my legs, working the muscles in small circles until my eyes fell closed on their own.

With my eyes still closed, I reached for him, holding my hands out until I felt him come closer. I moved to the side of my chair and invited him next to me, fitting myself in his arms perfectly as he held me. Our kisses were slow at first, perfectly suited to the way we were cuddled up in the chair, but they grew in intensity the longer we lay there until finally his hands found the skin of my back where my shirt brushed over the top of my jeans.

He pushed the thin fabric up while his lips moved over my neck and down to my collarbone. I instinctively ran my hands through his hair, forcing myself not to grab handfuls of its luxurious silk when his lips pushed aside my collar and sucked at my shoulder. The cooler temperature at my back told me my shirt was nearly gone, and ducking my head out of it only left goosebumps on my arms.

“Really? Right here?” I asked, looking around. I'd seen a pilot and at least one other crewmember when we boarded, but the way Colt was holding my backside made me suddenly not care.

“It’s fine, I promise,” he answered a little too confidently. I wondered for a moment, but then lost myself in the thrill of possibly being caught.

I waited oh-so-patiently for Colt’s touch as he kissed a slow path down beneath my breasts. The agony of his painstakingly slow seduction was tantalizing, but I knew he would make it totally worth the wait.

I wasn’t wrong. After taking his time stripping my jeans, it was as if an animal instinct took over. He pushed aside the fabric of my panties and dove in, plunging straight into my center where my need for him was greatest.

“Oh god, Colt! Yes!” I cried, completely oblivious to anyone who might hear us.

He pushed straight to my center, kissing and licking at my slick folds until I thought I might scream.  I raked my nails through his hair, holding him right where I wanted him.

Colt never stopped his wonderful assault with his tongue, even when he moved his hands up to massage my breasts, pinching my nipples wonderfully at the same moment that I came against his mouth.

When I finally managed to come back down, Colt was smiling at me with a victorious look in his eye. He was proud of himself, and it showed. I returned his wicked grin when I held my hands out to him once again, pulling him to lay beside me.

Instead of staying in his arms, I shifted until he was beneath me, pinned by my legs on either side. He grabbed my hips and gripped them tightly, leaving me to imagine his red fingerprints in my flesh. I groped with his belt and zipper until I held his cock in my hands, guiding it to my entrance. His closed his eyes in satisfaction as I lowered myself down his shaft, slick with my wet arousal.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you,” Colt growled as he tightened his grip on my hips. I watched his face as I rode him harder, faster, excited by the control I had over him in this moment.

I could feel the rise in me again. It was so much I couldn’t bear to move anymore. He gripped my hips even tighter, holding me against him and pushing me back and forth. I arched my back and gave out a wonton scream. He kept his hands on me tight still pushing me over and over, drawing his orgasm out as he filled me with his burning heat.

Once he finished he loosened his hold and I melted down to him. Resting my head on his chest I listened to the sound of our hearts. I felt him gently tug and play with my hair as he too caught his breath.

“You’re the one for me, Mer,” he finally said lips pressed against the top of my head.

I looked up at him, fear and trepidation in my eyes. For how long? I wondered.

“Forever, baby,” he said, answering my unspoken question.