Jillian stretched out in her seat. He felt her warming to him again. As if the tide carried her in, her body worked its way back towards him.

“I got something for you. It’s in the back, next to your real shoes.”

Her eyebrows arched in question. After their conversation, every time she looked at him he was getting turned on. Ben shook his head. He had no common sense when it came to her. Of course she would assume he was plying her with gifts in exchange for sexual favors. And he wanted those favors, no doubt. But he’d never had this kind of obsession about a woman. He didn’t know how to charm or coax her. Women usually tripped over themselves to get to him. Not the other way around.

“It’s a gift. If you don’t want it, don’t wear it.”

“Wear it?” Jillian dove between the seats, returning with the bag. “Did you get it in Toledo? If it’s underwear, my mom will find out and be calling before we make it back.”

“No, and it’s not underwear. I got it this morning when you were getting ready. But then I chickened out of giving it to you.”

“You chickened out?”

“Just open the bag.” Tissue crinkled as Jillian peered into the black bag. Ben’s gut tightened. Maybe it was too soon. That’s why he hadn’t given it to her this morning. It was still early, yet at the same time it felt like he should have done it a long time ago.

“A ribbon?” Jillian’s thumb ran across the grain of the choker, playing with the snap.

“Put it on. You said you wanted something on your neck, but you didn’t like your necklaces. All of them I watched you try on. This is simple, and it’s mine.” Ben dragged a fingertip from her ear to the neck of her sweater.

Pulling the dark green strip of velvet around her neck, Jillian fastened it under the barrette holding her hair back. Ben wrapped his hand around her neck, burying his fingers in the heat of her hair, tracing the softness of her skin and the velvet with his thumb.

“I like it.” Jillian turned her face into his hand. “Why didn’t you give it to me before?”

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted them to know. I didn’t expect for you to ask me to come in. You were so nervous, I didn’t want to make it worse.”

“I wasn’t sure either. But I told my sister, or she guessed. Either way, they know.” Jillian’s hand was back on his thigh. The touch light as a whisper, but as sure as time.

“So does the entire Meadows staff. And most of the town, I’m sure. You wearing nothing but my T-shirt in my kitchen made a statement.”

“Those boys ratted us out? I wonder what they thought we were doing.” Fingers wiggled on his thigh.

“Everything I was thinking about doing. And more. They’ll probably be dreaming about you for as long as I was.”

“You dreamt about me?” Her teeth sparkled in the sunshine.

“All the time.” Ben placed his hand over Jillian’s, giving it a squeeze. Wanting her to know the depth of what he felt, but not daring to say it out loud. Not yet. He’d said enough today.

Releasing her hand, he lifted his to her neck, rubbing and playing with the hair caught up in the barrette. When they got back they’d take a shower. For fun, and so her hair could get back to being curly. At least she hadn’t bothered with those contacts today.

“Do you mind that everyone knows?”

“A little. I’d like to have some things for myself. Plus, it’s a little awkward. I look discourage my employees dating guests, and here I am.”

“Should I stay at Crosslands?”

“That would make it worse. What you should do is stay with me. The dogs would love it.”

“What kind of internet connection do you have?”

“I don’t. I’m on the computer too much at work. I don’t have one at home.”

“Meadows has high-speed wireless. I need it for work. Plus my work number has been forwarded. And I’m not my own boss. Mine & Ours is pretty relaxed, but having a sleepover would be frowned upon.”

“Meadows it is. Probably a good idea anyway. That way someone else can change the sheets.”

Jillian slipped her hand higher on his thigh as she laughed.

He turned to press her further, list all the things in the hotel they could dirty up, but his plans were thwarted by the ringing of his cell phone. He checked the display and sighed. Meadows would only put calls through in an emergency.

“I’ve got to take this.”

“You want me to be quiet so no one knows I’m here.”

Ben nodded as he pressed the speaker button on the phone. “Cannon.”

“Ben? We got a problem here.”

“I figured, Willy, or you wouldn’t be calling.”

Willy explained the biologists from OSU were back. But Ben’s attentions were divided between the conversation and Jillian’s fingers, curling against his inner thigh. He shifted his hips, edging closer to her hand. Her fingers spread as he talked, caressing his inner thigh, her pinky almost finding what he wanted it to. Ben spread his legs wider, hoping to give her better access and encouragement.

If he’d had a condom he would have ended the call and pulled the car over. As it was, nothing much could happen. No one had ever brought him off orally or with just their hand. Her fingers moved north, sweeping the juncture of his thighs.

He checked the time on the dash as he listened to Willy gripe about the biologists. Twenty minutes until the edge of town. She could play that long and they’d go straight to his house. He’d turn the tables and show her what teasing was all about.

She must have caught the smile that twitched about his mouth because she pulled away. When she unzipped the soft green cardigan and tossed it in the back, his grin widened. The lace-trimmed white tank top hid nothing from him, looking more like lingerie in the streaming sunlight when paired with her sexy smile and teasing eyes.

Deciding to call her bluff, Ben reached down, unbuttoning his pants, unzipping and pulling the material to the side. Jillian’s eyes widened and she cocked her head to the phone. Ben made no response to her, just gave Willy his opinion about allowing the biologists to test the toads.

Her hand journeyed back to his crotch, but her gaze locked on his face. Ben’s attentions remained on the road, maintaining his voice for the phone call. It grew more difficult when her smooth fingers slid under the waistband of his boxer briefs. Her hand wrapped around him, making him take a sharp breath to refocus. He could do this. Had often enough in his dreams, strangely always with her. Was this why?

He couldn’t let his mind go there. Instead he focused on the distraction of the road, the crisis at work. But he couldn’t resist running a thumb over the hardened bead visible through her thin top. She bit her lip and Ben smiled. She really wouldn’t make a sound.

Pulling away, she waved her hand. Ben arched an eyebrow and explained to Willy why it was important to let the biologists have the dead toads. Jillian gave a pretty little pout, made a thumbs-up sign and threaded her fingers through the waistband of his briefs at his hips.

Catching the hint, Ben raised himself from the seat as best he could. Jillian managed to pull his briefs and pants halfway down his thighs before he sat back against the leather seat. She pushed them past his knees and leaned back in her seat, leering at him. It was one thing to risk playing in the car, another to make a promise like that and not follow through. Ben grabbed her upper arm, jerking her across the car and against him.

“We invited them into the situation, Willy.” Focusing his eyes on the road, Ben spoke to both the cell phone and the woman plastered against his side. “We have to finish what we start.”

Silent laughter jostled his side, Jillian’s breath hot against his ear as she began to nibble at his neck. Her lips made a slow journey over his cheek, chin, neck. Amazing how he could feel, but not hear, how careful she was not to make a sound or block his view of the road.

Ben stiffened in his seat, sitting up as straight as possible and for the millionth time today wishing he’d taken the Jeep. Between his long legs and the steering wheel there wasn’t much room to maneuver. Logistically, he doubted if what he wanted was even possible.

Her body sprawled between her seat and the center console. He felt her hands under his shirt, around his cock, but he couldn’t watch. And he liked to watch. This was worse than being blindfolded. It almost made him lose his concentration with Willy. Almost.

Feeling her breath against his thighs, Ben was torn. He’d always wondered how Clinton took calls while the intern hid under his desk. This was even better. She wasn’t hiding. Anyone else could enjoy the show, just not Ben. He had to watch the road and pay attention to Willy’s argument against the biologists.

Biting back a groan, he shifted again on the leather. He was buying a leather couch for the living room. Next time he’d enjoy this sensation properly. Now he had to conjure the images in his mind so he didn’t get them both killed.

The pressure on the head of his cock could only be her lips, kissing it. Soft, but not wet. Firm, but not hard. Her gentle fingers moved his cock towards his stomach, soft kisses trailing from tip to base while her other hand fondled his balls.

Pull over! screamed his logical mind, but another part of him wondered if this would work. If driving, the phone call would give him the edge he needed to get off. His spine tingled. From her touch, the idea. Ben ran a hand across her back, up and down, encouraging her on.

Finally she shared the hot wetness of her mouth with him. Her tongue made long licks. Slow, torturous licks. She shivered but she didn’t make a sound. Ben even managed to explain to Willy why they had to cooperate with the biologists.

Her tongue flicked and wiggled, rubbed back and forth teasing the ridge. Letting her play, he concentrated on the conversation, the road, anything but how she’d wrapped her lips around him, and took him inside the heat of her mouth. How her tongue worked magic, but only on the very tip. And he wanted more. Now.

Running his hand up her back, he grabbed at her hair, the edges of her metal barrette cutting into his hand. Darting his gaze to the contraption, he figured out how to get it off and tossed it at the floorboards. Another silent laugh jostled against his body, this time intensified by his position inside her mouth.

Awareness of the situation heightened his arousal. He was having a conversation with Willy, cars were passing by a few feet away, and Jillian had his cock in her mouth.

“We need to be thorough.” Ben wrapped his hand around Jillian’s now-free hair and applied the slightest pressure to her neck. He wanted to urge her, but he couldn’t risk making her gag. Not when she was barely a foot away from his cell phone. “The situation may look taken care of on the surface, but it’s best to go deeper. Just to be sure. We can’t look too deeply into this. Best to make sure the thing’s done right.”

Now he was just being an idiot. If Willy weren’t so worked up about the biologists, he’d surely notice the babbling.

Jillian did. Her body rocked slightly as she started to work him with her mouth. She took more with each pass, but only a little more. Was she trying to draw this out? Drive him crazy so that when they made it home he’d plow right through her?

She added pressure and picked up the rhythm, more and more of him finding pleasure within her every time. Her tongue danced on the shaft as her mouth glided along. She sucked deeper and deeper until he could feel the back of her throat.

He wanted to push, to see what she could do, how far she’d let him go. But he couldn’t risk it. He could explain away her presence easily enough. And Willy worked for him, not the other way around, no matter the man’s attitude. But if she made a sound the spell would be broken. And with Jillian it was all about the magic.

Her movement stilled, her mouth and throat contracting and releasing around his deeply planted cock. He felt her throat opening and closing against the tip of him. His body betrayed him, grinding up against her with each contraction of her sweet mouth.

Jillian jolted back until just the head of his penis remained in her mouth. Wrapping her hand tightly around the base, she began again. Ben loosened his grip on her hair. He’d gotten lost, pushed too far.

“Ben, you still there?”

“Yeah. I must be going through a dead patch. Let them take the birds and another round of samples. I’ll deal with them tomorrow.”

“You sure? Because I don’t think—”

“I’m sure. Make them a copy of the tape. Give them their dead birds and toads. They’re there to document the incident completely.” Ben grit his teeth as Jillian worked him with a fevered pace. She knew he was ending the call, so she was trying to end him first. That had to be what she wanted. “I’ll make sure our name doesn’t end up in whatever journal they print it in.”

Ben rolled his neck and tried to focus on driving. Being this turned on was not a good idea on the open road. He set the cruise control and looked around, scanned for a place to pull over but saw nothing. Only a stretch of shoulderless highway he knew well enough to realize there was no place to stop until that first stoplight into Bandon. Just like there was no way to stop Jillian, even if he wanted to.

Is this what she wanted? To get him off while people could watch, could listen? She had no way of knowing he’d never been able to come when someone went down on him before. But he would this time. He was starting to get lightheaded, all of his blood wanted to be where the party was. And he felt his balls getting tight.

Releasing his chokehold on her hair, he let the strands go free, tickling as they fell against his stomach and legs. He ran his fingers along the back of her neck, at the nape where she’d dyed her hair a bright red. Red, she was definitely that. Fiery hot and gentle love at the same time.

There was nothing in this for her. The phone was off, yet they both remained silent. Touched by her selflessness, he wanted to say something. A thank you, maybe more.

Her hand started to work in time with her mouth. Ben straightened as best he could to give her more room. A car passed close enough for Ben to feel the booming bass of the stereo. His cock throbbed at the thrill.

Jillian’s reaction was to take him deeper. Her lips slid, her tongue wiggled and her mouth pulled the orgasm from him. He exploded, the warmth heating further as he spilled himself inside her. She took more of him in as he throbbed and twitched within her, her tongue still dancing in the side of the shaft while he struggled to keep his eyes open.

He whispered her name, running his fingers through her hair, brushing the strands away from her face until he could almost make out her profile in his stolen glances. She swallowed him down, accepting him. Pulling the last of his need from him as her lips slid up his cock, over the tip, to end in a gentle kiss. She held the kiss until he had to stop at the stoplight. Though he made the right-hand turn as quickly as he could manage, the spell was broken and she pulled away, shifting back to her seat.

Ben reached his hand for her. “That was amazing.”

When she didn’t respond he turned, watched her stare out the window long enough to catch a tear falling before she brushed it away.

“Jilly?” His heart thudded. Had he hurt her? Scared her? “You remember red, right? No matter what, you can always say red.”

Her head shook, her hand squeezed his tighter and brought it to her sweet mouth for a gentle kiss that only seemed to bring on more tears. Ben raced to the house, needing to focus on her fully, and not just for a few seconds if he pulled over.

Pulling into the garage he turned towards her. The tears were gone, but a storm still seemed to be brewing behind her eyes. He didn’t know what, so couldn’t imagine what he should say.

Jillian looked him up and down. “You want me to help you with your pants?”

* * *

Everything about being with Ben felt risky, as if she were playing a role in someone else’s life. As if the past day hadn’t really happened at all. Because she did not think of things like that, let alone act them out. She was a prude, really. A tease. Every boyfriend she’d ever had said so.

Heart thrumming, her body propelled her to move. Run. Fight or flight response at its most primal. Ben was talking, his pants still around his knees, but she didn’t hear a word. Just jumped out of the car and ran inside. Straight into the pack of slobbering beasts.

Jillian had never been so happy to be anywhere in her life. He couldn’t ask questions of her now. Not as she rolled around on the floor with the dogs. She felt his gaze on her when he finally made it inside, dressed as if nothing had happened.

As if she hadn’t acted out a fantasy in the daylight, with no coaxing from him at all. Jillian snuggled Rogue under one arm, pulling him close. The dogs wouldn’t judge her, think she’d lost her mind. Rascal nudged at her face, his wet nose burrowing into her neck.

Ben leaned against the kitchen counter. She felt his gaze searing into her. What must he think? He’d been talking about having a real relationship, trying to make things work, and she’d responded by tossing all her inhibitions and sense of propriety out the window.

Was she self-sabotaging? He’d told her he wanted to keep seeing her after she flew back to New York and she’d given him a detailed list of reasons why they shouldn’t. After he’d thwarted her fuzzy logic, she’d started acting like a horny teenager.

Her heart pounded between her ears. Susie was right. She’d only come, only dared because she knew she could leave. She’d have to. And now that he was removing that option, things were getting far too real. She’d confused running to New York and building her career with running away from the possibility of being here, at home, with him.

Terrifying, because before he was a fantasy, a man she’d built in her mind. Now he was real, whole, and better than she’d dreamed. There was no closure, no moving on—just the realization that there existed a man who could bring her to her knees.

This feeling must be why her mother stayed with her father, even though the town knew how he was betraying her. This feeling could completely pull Jillian under, leaving her at the mercy of a man who could at any point change his mind. But she never could.

Kissing him all those years ago had set off a chemical reaction, changing her forever as if rewriting her DNA. And now, she’d wanted his pleasure so badly she’d tasted it. How had she dared do something so outrageous?

Being near Ben was intoxicating. He’d been so open, so bare and she just kept dodging behind the same old roadblocks. But then, he hadn’t been telling his truth, it was someone else’s. Jillian scratched Rebel’s ear until his leg began to twitch.

“You seem to be having that effect on men today.” Ben’s voice rolled through her like warm honey, but her head fought against the sensation. She snatched her hand away from the dogs, wrapping her arms around her knees as she sat on the floor.

“Don’t talk to me like that.” She might be acting like a slut, but she wouldn’t stand for being treated like one. Or sit. Looking down at her bare feet, she wondered if she could run from here. She hadn’t been paying attention to just where here was, though. Further evidence that aliens had taken over her body. She never, ever went somewhere with a man where she didn’t know where she was, where at least two friends didn’t know the details. She was impeccably safe. Why hadn’t she thought of that?

“You mind telling me what’s going on with you?” His voice was as brittle as thin ice. He stepped from the counter, walking until his shoes were in front of her bare feet. He had the biggest feet. Skis, really. How had she not noticed that before? They were proportional, she guessed. He wouldn’t be able to balance on tiny feet.

Her gaze traveled from the dark shoes, up the black pants, the faint gray print on his thin black polo shirt, and back to his pants. To the bulge hiding behind the zipper. Here, she could really enjoy him. Touch him. Take her shirt off and—what was wrong with her? Couldn’t she think of anything but getting him naked?

She shivered as her body registered the panic. This was how she felt before a binge. Scared and flighty, her inherent distrust of people’s promises needing to be buried beneath piles of chocolate-chip cookies and bowls of ice cream. She was substituting sex for food. She wouldn’t talk to him, so she wanted to fuck him.

And he would never understand this feeling. He felt drug and alcohol addiction could be easily managed through sheer will, he’d never understand about food addiction. Few people did, really.

“Jillian?” His hand extended down towards her. She took his broad fingers in her own instinctively, wanting to touch him. Not thinking what it would mean until after he’d jerked her up from the floor, pressing her body against his.

She was wound so tight she couldn’t tell if he was playing her for a fool or as lost in the connection as she was. There was nothing self-preserving about the situation, nothing safe, no security at all. She was just hanging out there in the wind, her only tether to reality his arms.

She sank her head onto his shoulder as he pulled her closer. How had she let it get this far? She knew better than to trust someone this much. She’d been guarding against it her whole life. She wrapped her hands around his neck in a reluctant surrender.

There was no other choice, really. She’d already lost. So when he lifted her into his arms, it wasn’t a shock at all. What was surprising was that he wasn’t overtly sexual in his touch. He carried her up the stairs and into a bedroom as if she were a child. Set her down on the bed and walked away.