Tex held his woman tight for a long time. It felt good to put her needs before his. A kind of ascetic denial of his own raging hormones that told his brain where his priority was. Good. Strong. Powerful. The kind of man who could take care of the woman on his arm and on his bike. Who could show her the ropes until she could take care of herself.
Of course, he wasn’t so focused on playing the good boyfriend for the night that he didn’t stifle a little groan every time she shifted against his cock. He could imagine himself buried so deep in her that she clawed his back and scratched the walls and screamed for him to fuck her harder. He could imagine using her on every single surface in the apartment, and then maybe taking her outside to fuck her on his bike. That was tempting. He’d seen it done in porn, and always wondered about making it work in real life.
But that just made his refusal to give in to his urges that much more powerful. She was getting what she needed right now, and she seemed to be luxuriating in his delight in making this time all about her. The way she screamed and cried out and slammed herself into him once he slipped that thick vibe into her, though, it had nearly undone him. If he thought he could have slid it up her ass, he might have done it, but that wasn’t shit that you sprang on someone in the middle of a scene. And maybe she didn’t really know yet that it was a scene, but he did. He did, as soon as he put his hand on her throat and put that pressure there, that threat of controlling her breath. That was the amazing thing to him about playing with dynamics; on the surface, it seemed like the dominant had all the control in the room, but really, it was the sub who was running the show, if things were playing out right. The trick was to give them all the power they needed, including the power to call it off at any time. She’d shuddered and given herself up to him entirely with just that small application of pressure, and if he’d had a fraction less self-control, he would have come right there, pressed up against her back, rendered entirely helpless by the depth of her faith in him.
She was a delight to torture, all helpless little moans and gasping. She was everything beautiful.
He held her close until the water began to move from good and hot to just warm. She’d been so cold when he’d finally gotten her into the house, her lips bordering on icy when she’d pressed them into his neck. So far into shock that he wasn’t even sure she’d realized what was happening. The bath had been as much to get her blood back out and pumping into her extremities as it was therapeutic. And sexy as hell.
He shifted her gently, and she stared up at him with wide-open eyes that were just a little bit dazed. But she was present, calmer and more aware than she’d been before. It was good progress. “Hey,” he said. “It’s getting cold in here. Ready to go to bed?”
She nodded, just a little sleepy around the edges, and he helped her stand, reaching over to flip the bath drain. He wrapped her up in a big, fluffy towel, stroking down her legs, her arms, wiping her clean. Then he found a warm, flannel bathrobe on the back of her bathroom door and slipped her arms through the sleeves. He guided her to her bed.
He’d had a half-made plan that involved laying her down and lotioning her back and legs, massaging her feet and hands, then kissing and nipping his way up her inner thighs until he got to spread her open and lick into her soft and yielding body. But her eyes were barely half open now, and he told his erection to settle the hell down. It would keep until morning. She was worth waiting for.
Tex walked her into bed with every intention of tucking her in and leaving her there, but she sat up. “I can’t sleep in my robe,” she said. “That drawer.” She pointed, and he retried a set of flannel pajama bottoms and a long sleeved cotton t-shirt. She pulled them on, and he took the robe to hang up in the bathroom. He took a moment to hang up her robe, then looked at his clothes on the floor. Her clothes and his were both covered in gunshot residue, so putting them back on would be a mistake. But he didn’t have any sleeping clothes here. They’d never gone to bed in clothing before, after all.
“Tex?” she called out, her voice sleepy.
He padded back into the bedroom, his erection bobbing in front of him in a way that even he found silly. “What do you need?”
She pointed at the same drawer. “I bought you a pair, too.” She shrugged, under the covers, a gesture that was sweet and incredibly appealing at the same time. Or maybe that was his overwrought hormones. “I didn’t get the matching ones. That was way too far. But just in case.”
“Thanks,” he said. He went back into the drawer and pulled out a pair of men’s lounge pants in a deep blue color. He pulled them on, then went and sat next to her on the bed. “What can I do to help you sleep?”
“Lay down with me?”
He chuckled and examined the weary remains of his self-control. “I’m not sure how much sleep I’ll get if I do that.”
Jessie gave him the sweetest smile he’d ever earned from her. “I promise to behave myself.” She reached up and caught his upper arm in her hand. “Come down here. Hold me a little longer.”
Well. There was absolutely no way in the world to say no to that. He let her draw him down, stretching out beside her. He stayed on top of the covers, so there was plenty of padding between his still insistent cock and her heat. In those pants, it would be nothing to pull down the front of his, drop hers to her knees and enter her. He could take her from behind, pull her ass into his hips, fuck her hard, play with her tits while she hissed and bucked against him, driving him deeper —
He pushed his mind fiercely away from that line of thought. Right now, he was comforting her. Telling her he loved her. Taking her face in his hands and kissing her tears when they came again. Loving her. Loving her so much.
After a while, she sighed into sleep, gently and delicately.
He waited a little while longer, until her breathing evened out and her body went slack, before he got up from the bed. He had business to take care of.
Out in the kitchen, he dug through the fridge and found himself something to eat. He was bone weary and shaking from the adrenaline wash of the evening. He needed sleep, too, and he’d have it, soon enough. But it wasn’t quite right yet. He had to take care of just a few more things.
When his stomach was full, it was easier to focus on what he needed to do. It was easier to take his mind away from slaking his need in Jessie’s body and just curling up with her indefinitely. He pulled a burner cell out of the bag he’d tucked inside Jessie’s closet, the first night he’d ever spent here. He dialed the phone he knew Take carried with him in a similar bag.
“Hey,” Take answered on the second ring. “How’s the lady?”
“Resting. How’s everyone else?”
“We’re about to go. Decided that heat was the wrong way to go in the end; according to some folks, there’s too much shit in there that might explode, and I don’t want to leave anyone here to try to control the fire, just in case. We’re cleaning up the mess and dumping the trash.”
“Makes sense.” What that meant was that the bodies would be dismembered and taken out to the desert where animals would take care of the rest of the mess. The guns would have the numbers filed off and sold, not used again. Shell casings and bullets would be cleaned off the ground, and any chips in the trees would be covered and made to look natural. It was unlikely anyone would look that hard, especially given Eddie’s influence over the department at this point, and the reputation the Racketeers had apparently already gotten for themselves in the area. “I trust you, Take. Thank you for taking care of this.”
He could hear the other man nod. “She needed some care, that was obvious. I don’t imagine she’s ever been through something like that before.”
“No.”
“You’re going to watch out for her the next few days? You know how someone can be okay, and then they’re not okay anymore?”
“I do.” Tex gave himself a moment to think about how much he wanted to say. What Jessie was going through was her own, but at the same time, he knew Take was speaking from a place of genuine concern. Jessie had been at the clubhouse rather a lot, and the two had bonded over silliness. They shared the same love for sci-fi novels and Shondaland TV shows, two things Tex hadn’t ever gotten all that involved in. “She hit not okay already. But not falling apart, just finding the pain. I think she’s going to be okay.”
“I’m glad,” Take said. They were silent for another moment. “And what about the other thing?”
The other thing was her waste of space father. What in the name of God were they going to do about him? It wasn’t his place to decide, but he hated to leave it to her. “I’m not sure yet. I couldn’t lie that at her feet tonight, too. Can you contain him until morning?”
“Sure,” Take said. “Just to let you know, I think he’s been using pretty heavy. We have him locked up in the back of the barn, and he’s already sweating and shitting himself. Things might get interesting.”
“If you have a dose to give him to keep him from killing himself, that’d be fine. If you don’t—” Tex sighed. “Well, then, that’ll sort itself out. I’ll talk to her in the morning, and let you know what the plan is.”
“All right.”
“Is there anything else you need from me?”
“Nah, we’re all right,” Take said. “Think we’re going to stay up here? Set up a secondary house? Split the club? Don’t know yet?”
Tex laughed. “If I’m completely honest, I’m not sure where the club is going to end up, but I’m entirely sure where I’m going to end up.”
“And where’s that?”
“Wherever she is.”
Take chuckled. “Sounds like a good choice to me.”
“Talk to you in the morning.”
Take disconnected the call without waiting for another word.
Tex sat in the silence for a long moment, wondering how it felt for other guys, who went through the world without any kind of trust. He wasn’t a trusting man, not if you looked for blind trust to everyone in front of a person, but the people he found worthy of trust, he trusted to the far reaches of his ability. He knew the people he cared for would be safe, but now he was going to go back into the bedroom and put his arms around the woman he’d fallen in love with. He’d fall asleep and, in the morning, he’d ask her for one more hard thing before moving forward into what he hoped would be a life of peace and calm.