Even though I’m only supposed to be coming in three times a week, I’ve been here almost every day. When I’m at home alone I get stir-crazy.
I spent most of the morning going over more details of my date with Fisher with Luna even though I called her immediately when I got in the car last night. He texted me last night after I left to make sure I got home safely, which scored him major bonus points, but I haven’t heard from him yet today. It might be bothering me a little.
I have no idea how this dating shit is supposed to work. Assuming that’s what I’m doing. I was never much of a dater before Ollie and I haven’t had a date in years.
Should I text him? Is that too eager? Do I wait for him to text me? Do I call? Ugh, this sucks. I’d hate to be a teenager in this day and age. Every time my phone has pinged today I couldn’t look at it fast enough. It’s never been him.
I guess I shouldn’t worry why I haven’t heard from him. Fisher mentioned he’d be filming all day today before I left last night. I was glad I drove myself to the airport. If he had had to take me home, it would have been a lot harder to say goodbye.
But still, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him all day. If I can’t figure out how to stop thinking about him, I may cave and text him or something stupid. Who am I kidding? I’m writing a book where he’s the star. Not thinking about him is impossible.
As I wash my hands in the bathroom, I decide on “hope you’re having a good day.” That’s safe, right? I tell myself that if I get back to my desk and I haven’t heard from him, I’m totally going to text him that little phrase. It’s harmless enough.
As I walk back to my office, I start doubting whether or not I should. Jeez, this is hard. I read somewhere once that men are natural pursuers. If a guy is not actively trying to get you then he’s just not that into you. The thought has me considering watching the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” when I get home. Maybe it’ll give me some pointers.
Brenna perks up more than usual as I approach. “Hey. You got a call while you were gone.”
“Oh, from who?”
She smiles. “That book guy. I saw him on YouTube! Yowza!”
“What? Fisher? He called the office?”
“Yeah, um, Luna was standing here when it came through. She said she’d talk to him.” She glances down at the switchboard. “She’s still on with him.”
My heartbeat jumps into my neck. It’s beating in time with an alarm clock warning.
As I start stiffly toward Luna’s office I say a silent prayer that she’s making idle chatter. Her office door isn’t completely closed and I stop dead in my tracks when I hear her speaking. I lean my head against the doorframe to listen.
“And I’m glad to hear that. I just need you to know how important she is to me. She’d never tell you herself because she’s too proud, but her ex did a number on her. I’ve never met a more emotional abusive man in my life. People might wonder why she’s so untrusting, but if you’d been made to second-guess every decision you’d ever made for years, you’d know why.”
Oh fuck. I close my eyes. Part of me wants to charge in there and tell her to shut it, but the other part of me is kind of glad she’s explaining me to him. It’s something I’m not good at doing and I feel bad that I’ve been so standoffish with him. I have major trust issues.
“And she has major trust issues. She’s not only my best writer, she’s also my best friend.”
Aww, Luna. I almost sniffle.
“So if you hurt her in any way, shape, or form, I will hunt you down, put you in the trunk of my car, and drive you to an undisclosed location where I’ll pull each and every one of your toenails off with a pair of tweezers. Understand?”
I sprint into her office, waving my hands in the air.
“No worries. Bye.” She places the phone into the receiver. “Oh, hey. That was Patrick. He said he had to go. He only had a few minutes between takes.”
“What the fuck? Why did you say that? He’s probably scared to death now.”
Luna smiles. “No, he’s not. He was laughing.”
“Laughing how?” I ask. “Like tee-hee nervous, I don’t know how to respond to this lunatic laughing?”
“Luna-tic? Hey that’s good. I always thought I was named after the moon. Maybe it was a crazy person?”
I throw myself onto her couch and cover my face with my hands. “He’s probably never going to call again.”
“He was laughing like I was amusing. He told me not to worry. He said he liked you and his toenails too much to risk hurting either one of them. I like him. He’s sharp.”
“He said he liked me?” I ask, gazing at her through the small opening I made with my fingers.
“Duh. You didn’t know that?”
“Why did he call the office? He has my cell.”
Luna shrugs. “I don’t know. All I know is he’s at work. What’s the plot of this new show?”
“I dunno. I never asked him.” Now that I think about it, I haven’t asked him a single question about himself ever. It’s all been book talk. “What did he say before he hung up?”
“He said, ‘Oh shoot, gotta go. Break’s over.’”
“Not tell Greer I’ll call later or anything?”
Luna shakes her head. Maybe she scared him off after all.
It’s a little after eight when I return to my TV after getting ice cream from the kitchen. I’m not sure watching “He’s Just Not That Into You” was the smartest decision I’ve ever made, but now that I’m halfway done, I’m not quitting.
This movie is making things so much worse. I relate to Ginnifer Goodwin’s character on so many levels. I find myself talking to the TV. “Just be you, girl. Fuck him.” I take another large spoonful of ice cream and let the spoon sit in my mouth, while I reach over and turn off the light next to the couch.
I hear my cell phone vibrating, but I don’t see it. I’ve pretty much had it sitting on my lap the whole night. Where the fuck did it go?
I jump from the couch in a rush as the vibrating continues. Where is it? I throw my blanket on the ground, toss the couch pillows to the floor, and panic when I can still hear the buzzing but can’t see the phone. I press pause on the TV so I can hear better.
The sound is farther away than I thought it was. Suddenly, I think about the ice cream in the kitchen and I take off running, spoon still in my mouth. In my mind, the pillows are track hurdles and I’m jumping them like I’m in a race as I rush to the phone. I get to it in time to see Fisher’s name pop up. I answer. “Hevvo?”
“Greer?”
I take the spoon from my mouth and whip it across the room.
“Hey? What’s up?”
“Did I catch you at the gym? You sound out of breath.”
I consider lying and saying yes to hide my embarrassment. Obviously, I don’t need to be eating ice cream if I’m winded from running to the phone. “No, I’m good. How are you?”
“Tired. It’s been a long day. Sorry this is the first I’ve spoken to you. My cell phone was out of reach all day during filming. I tried to call you at the office from a set phone, but you weren’t available.”
Millions of thoughts shoot through my head like bees rushing from a busted hive. Each one of them worse than the one before as I try to decide whether or not to mention I knew he’d talked to Luna.
“Did your boss tell you I spoke with her?”
The bees cease their buzzing and two boxes appear in my brain. One says yes, the other says no. I stare at them as I decide which one to check. “Yes?”
“That sounded like a question,” he says with a light chuckle.
I walk back to the couch with the phone pressed to my ear. “That’s because I’m not sure I should even admit to knowing her.”
He laughs. “Did she tell you about it?”
“I kinda caught the last few seconds of it from the hall. I’m mortified. I’m so sorry.”
“For what? She seems like a really good boss and friend.”
“She means well, but I was a little worried she scared you away.”
“Me? Aww, hell no. There’s not a lot that can deter me when I’ve made up my mind about something.”
“Oh.” I grin. Sliding my legs underneath me, I suddenly feel like a schoolgirl talking to her crush. Lifting my eyes to the screen, I see Ginnifer Goodwin’s face. I paused at a spot where she’s crying. That’s so not me. “How was your day? I never did ask you what you’re working on.”
“We just finished the pilot for a new show called ‘Green.’ It’s about a woman who’s envious of everything another woman has, so she tries to change her life around to be more like her. The idea is she’s green with envy.”
“That sound cool. What’s your role?”
“I’m the other woman’s boyfriend and the envious one is trying to steal me away.”
“Oh . . .” I picture him kissing a lot of women on screen and I realize there is a reason he’s a great kisser. He practices a lot.
“Hopefully it gets picked up. I like the idea of having a steady gig and being really close to a certain celebrity.”
I swallow hard and my chest constricts. I bet his co-star is gorgeous. I immediately picture Olivia Wilde kissing him and I run the gamut of emotions. “So, you and your co-stars must be really close then, huh?”
“Not really. We just started filming last week. It’s awkward having to do some of these scenes when you’ve barely shaken your co-star’s hand.”
“Awkward? You mean like lying naked with them and making out?”
He laughs lightly. “Oh, I see where this is going now. I should have known when you didn’t react to my comment about being close to a celebrity. For the record, I was referring to you.”
“Me? I’m not a celebrity.”
“Is that why I saw them discussing your book on Access Hollywood yesterday?”
“They were? What?”
“It was a brief segment, but they said something about it being made into a movie.”
“Oh, that little thing.” I laugh as I wave him off in the air, even though he can’t see me.
“Yeah, that. Congratulations, by the way. I can’t even imagine how excited you must be.”
“Thank you. They’re still working on the script. I get to read it, but I’m not sure how open they’ll be to my suggestions. Hopefully they try to stick to the book as much as possible. There’s nothing worse for readers than watching their favorite book scene be mutilated on the big screen.”
“I can imagine. I like this.”
“What?”
“Us talking like this. This is the most you’ve ever said about yourself since I’ve met you.”
I cringe. “Sorry. While my stories might be open books, I prefer my life to be as closed as possible.”
“I understand. I just hope it means you might consider letting me in a little bit.”
I pause because I don’t know how to respond. What’s appropriate here? Yes, welcome to my world. Explore all my nether regions? Or maybe, I’m not sure you’ll like what you see in my folds, especially the crevices of fat. Or better yet, no, I don’t know you enough to let you seep inside. I still haven’t decided if you’re sugar or poison.
He interjects before I decide which one to use. “There’s no pressure. I’m not trying to rush anything. Although I’d be lying if I didn’t have a particular chapter in mind.”
“What chapter? Tell me.” I rush over to my bookcase and grab Book Boyfriend off the shelf.
“No, no. I’m not ready to tell you yet. I wish I could see you sooner, but I’m scheduled on set all this week. Do you think you’d be open to phone dates until Saturday? Assuming you’re free this Saturday night?”
“Hmm . . . I’ll have to check my schedule. Um, yeah I’m free.” I can’t help but laugh. It’s cute he thinks I have a life.
“Good. I miss your face.”
I bite my lip. “I miss yours, too.”
“I’d call that progress. I like that you miss me.”
“Well, don’t let it go to your head. I’m still not sure about you.”
“That’s okay. I’m a very patient man. The good things in life always take effort.”
“Ha! You think I’m good? I’m actually a pain in the ass. Ask Luna.” I instantly regret bringing her up.
“Luna seems fierce. I might be a little scared of her if I wasn’t used to having strong women in my life. But next time she answers the phone for you, I’ll make sure to ask her about all your bad qualities.”
“Let’s both pray she never does it again. I’m sorry for that. She really had no business talking to you that way.”
“Don’t be sorry. I appreciated it.”
“Oh, you like the idea of being kidnapped, huh? You must be a sick pervert.”
“You can kidnap me any time you want. And I think I’ll wait a little while before I reveal all the sick, twisted things about me. Including what I’d be willing to do to you.”
How do I respond to that? I visualize opening a locked door and a small cat scurrying out excitedly. She’s been locked in there for ages. I decide it’s time I let my inner kitty cat out to play. “I write sex for a living, Fisher. You’d have to really push the envelope to surprise me.”
“Challenge accepted. Did it just get hot in here? I think I’d better go while I’m ahead. I need a cold shower.”
“What’s wrong? Am I too much for you?” Rrrarrr . . . I imagine my kitty claw pawing him in the air.
“Hell no, and if I were there right now, I’d move in a little closer.”
“So move in a little closer.”
“Are you in your bed?”
I glance around the room and stare at the dripping container of ice cream on my coffee table. “Yes,” I lie.
“What are you wearing?”
Oh, this got dirty fast! I gaze down at my pink flannel PJs. “A T-shirt and underwear.” Flannels aren’t hot.
“Maybe I should FaceTime you.”
Oh shit. I think I have dried ice cream on my chin. “I think we’re doing fine like this.”
“So am I in the bed with you?”
“No. You just walked in the room.”
“I walk in and see you in your bed in a T-shirt and underwear?”
“Yeah. What are you going to do about it?” I slide down so I can lie on my couch. Fuck, this is fun.
“I’m walking over to you right now and I’m taking off my shirt as I move.”
“Uh-huh.”
“When I reach you, I slowly run my fingers along your bare skin, from your calf up to that hot dragonfly tattoo on your thigh.”
My body tingles all over. He noticed.
“Then I crawl on top of you and suck on your bottom lip.”
“Uh-huh.” My fingers begin to trail down my chest.
“I lift your shirt at the hem and slide my hand underneath it, pulling on your nipple with my fingertips.”
“You’re really good at this. Do you have a side job as a phone sex operator?” I ask through a giggle.
“Shh . . . tell me where your hands are.”
“My hands are on your back, but I’m slowly sliding them down to your ass. You have a really nice ass.”
“I like the way you’re touching me. It’s making me want more. My hand trails down your stomach to the edge of your underwear.”
“Uh-huh . . .”
My phone beeps with another call. I lift it from my ear. In big letters I see the only name that could make this conversation end. Mom.
“Oh shit, Fisher. You’re not going to believe this, but my mom is calling on the other end. I’d ignore it, but she’s one of those people who’ll keep calling until I answer.”
He laughs. “Cock-blocked by Mom. Go answer. Tell her all about me and my tight ass. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“K. This was . . . fun.”
“Yeah. It was. Good night.”
“Good night.”
As I switch lines I suddenly feel like I got caught having sex in church. This call with my mom is about to be breathy and fifty shades of awkward. I miss him already. Uh-oh, that can’t be good.