We’d been back in the states for several days now, and although I was due back at home, with my father, and my things, I hadn’t been able to find myself leaving Jackson.

I didn’t want to.

He made me feel like I could be anyone I wanted. I didn’t feel afraid of being myself, of looking outside of the box and seeing that there was an entire world that I could learn about.

But most of all, I didn’t want to leave Jackson because I loved him.

Even now I had my hand on my belly, wondering if I carried his child.

I glanced at the ornate clock on the wall, waiting for my father, whom I’d agreed to have dinner with to tell him how things were going. I knew he worried about me—despite everything. In his way, he loved me and was concerned over the fact I was still with Jackson despite the agreed-upon ending time.

But I’d clear the air now, let him know what I wanted in my life, and that Jackson was here to stay for me.

I hadn’t even told Jackson I was seeing my father tonight, not because he’d disapprove, but because he didn’t think my father had any right to know what was going on, seeing as he’d agreed to hand me over. But the truth was I’d agreed to be with him to help my father.

I hadn’t realized just how much I’d grow to care for the brutal CEO.

I saw my father enter the restaurant, and instantly felt guilty. He looked like he’d aged a decade in this short time. He was in front of me and helping me out of the seat before I had time to do that myself. He embraced me, his body seeming so frail.

“You’re okay,” he said softly.

“Of course,” I responded. He pulled me back and eyed me, looking me over as if he expected to see battle wounds covering me.

“You’re … glowing,” he said, his brows furrowing, this look of almost disbelief crossing his face.

“I feel great, Dad,” I answered, not about to sneak around. It was one of the reasons I’d wanted to have dinner tonight. It wasn’t just about seeing him and making sure he was okay, but because I was going to tell him I was staying with Jackson.

I loved my father. He was a good man, just had bad habits. It was those said habits that had gotten me into this situation, that had gotten him into the position he was in as well. But in this short time something in me had changed. I felt more alive, freer than I ever had before. I didn’t want that to go, not ever.

Once we were seated across from each other I took a stuttering breath. I didn’t want to prolong this, and by the expression on my father’s face I knew he suspected something was up.

“I have a feeling this dinner wasn’t about you telling me you wanted to come back home.”

I shook my head. “No, because I don’t want to. I’m happy with Jackson. He makes me feel alive.” I was surprised the words came out like they had, so truthfully, instant, genuine. He didn’t answer me for long seconds, but did glance down and finally shake his head.

“I guess I don’t understand this.” He looked up at me once more. “How can you stand to be with a man who used you as collateral, who wanted you because of my mistake?”

This wasn’t what I wanted to do, wasn’t how I wanted this to go. I didn’t want to argue about this or what I wanted. I’d asked him here to tell him the truth. “I can’t really explain it, and even if I could I don’t think I could properly make you understand.” I started picking at my napkin, feeling nervous, afraid he’d make this huge scene. “I’m an adult, and don’t expect you to accept any of this right away, if at all…”

“You’re happy? He treats you well?”

I stared into my father’s eyes, feeling happier than I ever had before. “I am,” I said and smiled. “I love him.”

And just like that I saw the genuine acceptance on my father’s face. He’d worried about me, and wondered if my life would be the same, no doubt. But the truth was I hadn’t known what living was until spending time with Jackson.

I hadn’t known what truly being happy was until I broke through the mold that held me down for so long. Being with Jackson was swift, frightening at first, but it had been real, true. I loved him, and it was time I let myself be happy.

It was time that I thought about myself.