After leaving Rachel’s place, Jules took a ride through the countryside to try to clear his head. Today was the fifth anniversary of the slaughter. He thought he was hiding his turmoil pretty well, but Rachel seemed able to see right through him. Yes, the intercepts got him down. They always did. While he did little of the actual killing anymore, he gave the command to have it done, and that made it his responsibility. He didn’t like the killing, but it was club policy long before he arrived, and he couldn’t argue against it. The Andres Cartel knew if they sent drugs and illegals through Forsaken 99 territory, and they got caught, their lives were forfeit. That had to make their recruiting drives a bitch.

 

Their vigilantism, and that was what it was, was important but ugly work – work that had to be done to keep the citizens of Vallecito safe. But that didn’t mean he had to enjoy it.

 

So the vigilantism wasn’t the problem… not all of the problem anyway. The real problem was that he always felt the loss of Second Platoon most keenly this time of year, when the ghosts, as he called them, spoke most loudly. Intellectually he knew it wasn’t his fault that Second Platoon was wiped out, and likewise he knew that no one blamed him for surviving – no one but himself, but that didn’t make the ghosts any less real.

 

Jules backed his Harley into his space at the clubhouse. He was a little early for the meeting, but he always felt most comfortable here, around people who knew how he felt and he didn’t have to pretend.

 

The Forsaken 99 clubhouse was a 1950s ranch style house the club had bought on the cheap and fixed up. Set on a five acre lot with a barn, the clubhouse was far enough away from everything that they didn’t have to worry about disturbing the neighbors. It was where they came to let off steam and where they met to conduct club business.

 

As Jules dismounted, Todd, the club President, sauntered up and took Jules into a hug, slapping him hard on the back. “How you holding up today, Jules?”

 

“I’ve had better days.”

 

“Yeah, I can image. But hey… it’s Friday, payday, and time to party. You going to stick around and join in on the fun?”

 

Jules smiled. “Don’t I always?”

 

Todd smiled and steered Jules toward the clubhouse. “Yeah, you do. But tonight has to be tough. Try to forget about it, if you can, and enjoy yourself, okay? And if you can’t do that, drink enough to drown the fucking memories. You can crash here. I’m sure somebody will be around in the morning to help get you the hair of the dog.”

 

Jules smiled at Todd’s gentle support. “Thanks Todd. I might just do that.”

 

“Which one?”

 

Jules’s grin spread a little more. “Either. Maybe both.”

 

“Good man. Come on… you can help me stuff envelopes.”

 

***

 

“Everyone!” Todd called two hours later. “Will the last intercept team come over here a moment?” As each man walked up, Todd handed him an envelope and offered his hand. “Any more club business?” Todd asked when Jules, the last in line, received his envelope and shook his hand. “No?” he continued when no one answered.

 

As was their ritual, after a brief pause to give someone time to respond, a voice in the crowd called out. “Hey! Anybody know what time it is?”

 

There was a brief pause before another voice answered. “It’s time to…”

 

“Party!” the rest of the voices joined in. Jules smiled and looked at the ground. His life may have sucked, but these guys made it suck a little less.

 

For the next two hours, the food and drink flowed liberally. As their custom, Todd and Jules, as the two leaders of the club, manned the grill and kept the steaks and burgers coming until everyone was fed.

 

Finished serving, he sat down with Kristen and Fish while he ate. The company, beer, and thick cut steak, with the potato on the side, had dulled the edge of his hurt.

 

Fish was a lucky guy. Kristen was sharp as a tack, beautiful as a sunrise, and sweet as Texas tea. He would never admit it to anyone, but he envied Fish a little for his Kristen, and wondered what it would be like to have someone like that in his life. A couple of months before, Fish had admitted to him that he was thinking about asking Kristen to marry him. Jules had given his enthusiastic support to the idea and didn’t know what he was waiting on.

 

As Kristen swayed up, a pretty young thing followed in her wake with two beers in her hand. Jules stared at the girl as they approached. He was certain he had seen her somewhere before, but he couldn’t remember where.

 

“Jules… this is Vicky. She wanted me to introduce her to you.”

 

It took a moment before the name clicked. He looked to Fish and he could see that Fish was wondering the same thing he was…was this the Vicky that had started all the shit at HNH? The girl’s age looked to be about right, but there was no way to be sure.

 

Vicky slithered to the ground beside Jules, handed him one of the beers, and put her hand on his knee. “I heard there was a party happening out here tonight, so I tagged along with a couple of friends. I know how the cowboys do it…I thought I would see how the bikers do it.”

 

Jules saw Kristen shrug a shoulder at Fish’s questioning look. “Nice to meet you, Vicky,” Jules said. “You know Kristen?”

 

“Well, no. But Lisa, one of the girls I came with, answers the phones at her office. So I introduced myself. I saw her sitting with you over here. I thought you looked a little lonely so I…”

 

When she trailed off, Jules helped her along. “Decided to come over and keep me company?”

 

“Yeah! That’s a good way to put it.”

 

“Come on Fish. Dance with me,” Kristen said, standing up while dragging Fish to his feet and stepping in close…very close, her hips gyrating against his own as she pulled him away.

 

“You’re Jules Rivera, right? The guy that owns the landscaping company?”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“I thought that was you. You bank at WTNB, where I work. I’ve seen you around.”

 

“You work the window, right?” Jules asked as he suddenly recalled where he had seen her. He didn’t use the drive-up at West Texas National Bank, but the drive-up window was right behind the counter so he had seen her.

 

Vicky beamed, obviously thrilled he remembered her. “Yeah! That’s right.”

 

“Well, nice to finally meet you, Vicky,” he said, holding his beer out until she clinked her bottle to his.

 

“Come through the drive-thru sometime and say hi. I give out kisses.”

 

“You must get a lot of traffic, then, with a deal like that,” he teased.

 

“Hershey Kisses, silly! But for you…we might be able to work something else out.”

 

Jules felt his face flush from the overt come-on. “Is that so?”

 

“Maybe,” she said as she sat in his lap.

 

Jules could feel himself begin to stiffen. Vicky was just like dozens of other women he’s had, a pretty young thing that wanted to take a walk on the wild side. Lubricated with a few beers, and an itch they want scratched, they came to their parties looking to get laid by the badass biker. Most regret it the next day, but a few hung around and eventually became someone’s old lady. If Jules had to place his money, he would put it on Vicky regretting it the next day.

 

As he looked into her eyes, she leaned in and placed her lips to his. He didn’t know if this was cue-boy’s Vicky, but if she was, he could see why he would want to hang onto her… because she certainly knew how to kiss.

 

“That drive-thru is looking better all the time,” Jules said as their lips parted.

 

“That’s good. I’m all about the service.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Yeah. Want to try me sometime?”

 

Jules stared at her a moment. It had been a couple of weeks since he got laid. Maybe that was what he needed… a good hard fucking to clear the fog he had been in for the last week or so. It’s not often you got a chance to try fresh pussy, and Vicky’s appeared to be fresher than most. And she obviously wanted it… wanted it bad.

 

“How about now?”

 

Vicky beamed. “Why not? You want to come to—”

 

“The clubhouse,” Jules said, interrupting her. If she wanted a ride on the wild side, he would give her the full treatment.

 

“Fuckin’ A. I’ve always wanted to get fucked in a biker’s clubhouse.”

 

He pushed Vicky to her feet and took her by the arm as he steered her toward the clubhouse. As they entered, Clay Marshall, Marsh to his friends, was making out on the couch with one of the regulars that liked to put out.

 

“Fuck,” Jules snarled after trying each of the three doors leading to a bedroom. “Ever been fucked in a barn?”

 

“No…”

 

“Want to be?”

 

“God, yes.”

 

“Good. Come on.” Jules led her out, past Marsh and Liv, and down the back steps. As soon as she saw the barn looming in the moonlight, she began to jog, tugging at him, trying to hurry him along. The moment they stepped into the barn, she turned on him and began to strip him.

 

The barn was dilapidated and empty. They don’t use it for anything, but it was good enough for a quick fuck. They kissed frantically, tearing at each other’s clothes. Vicky’s breasts weren’t as large as Liv’s—but then whose are—but she still had a pretty nice rack.

 

Once her shirt and bra were removed, Jules shoved her hard against one of the large beams that supported the roof. “Are you sure you want this?” he growled, giving her one last chance to change her mind before he took her.

 

By way of answer, she pushed him backward and dropped to her knees in the dirt where she pulled his pants down and engulfed his throbbing cock with her mouth. She roughly fellated him, causing him to groan as he put his hands on her head, and pulled her onto him until she struggled.

 

“Not so deep,” she gasped when he let her go.

 

“Get undressed,” he commanded as he began to shed the rest of his clothing.

 

She sat on the ground and pulled her boots and pants off. The moment she was done, he settled on the ground with her and pulled her legs over his head.

 

“Oh fuck… oh fuck… oh fuck…” she whimpered as she lay across him, looking behind her as she thrust at his face.

 

“What?”

 

“I’ve never been eaten out before. My boyfriend, he won’t do it,” she gasped as she continued to writhe in anticipation.

 

Jules went in hard and fast, his tongue slashing and probing, causing her to whimper then bear down on his mouth as she took him into the warm wetness of her mouth. She didn’t last long and she removed him from her mouth and began to keen softly. A small splash of her liquid hit his chin as she shuddered, thrusting her hips against his face for a moment before gasping and sagging against him.

 

“Shit…” she gasped softly as she began to move again. “That was incredible.”

 

“We’re just getting started,” Jules murmured as he gently pushed her off of him and onto her back.

 

“Fuck… I can’t take much more,” she gasped as she lay back and opened for him.

 

He didn’t say anything as he positioned himself then drove himself in with a single hard thrust. Vicky cried out softly and then began to match his rhythm, thrusting her hips in time with his.

 

“That’s it. Fuck me. Fuck me so goddamn hard. Fuck me like a biker bitch.”

 

At her words, Jules felt all the fire go out of him. That’s all this is…just another fuck. Sex without meaning… a screw with no attachment. He wanted to stop the merry-go-round… but the least he could do was finish her.

 

“You like that, you bitch? You like me fucking you like the biker bitch you are?” he snarled, driving into her furiously hard, still playing the game.

 

“Yes… yes… fuck me! Make me your bitch!”

 

Jules leaned in and took her lips in a savage kiss. She moaned into the kiss, biting his lips and sucking on them painfully hard. He closed his eyes so he didn’t have to look at her and then pulled his head down to stare at her breasts as they rocked and sloshed with his thrusts.

 

“I’m going to come again…” she panted as she began to tighten up around him. “Oh… oh… fuck… shit… shit…” she whimpered, her words sliding into a whimpering cry as her orgasm took her. She held him tight, her face twisted in exquisite agony until with an explosive gasp she relaxed. “Shit… stop… stop for a minute… Fuck!” she begged.

 

Jules stopped, but he was going to finish. He was too near coming to quit now. He pulled out and positioned Vicky on her hands and knees. Her back was dirty, covered in a thin film of sweat and mud, but that was better than having to look into her eyes.

 

He moved behind her and drove into her again as he took her hair and pulled her head back hard. “This what you want? To be fucked in the dirt… to be treated like a bitch?”

 

She grunted as he slammed into her. “Yes. Treat me like your bitch.”

 

Jules could feel his orgasm coming. He bent over her back and mauled her breasts, pinching and tweaking her nipples as he pressed down on her, holding her tight as he thrust into her hard and fast. As he drove himself to orgasm she quivered under him with a whimper and then gasped. Having her fall into another orgasm pushed him over the edge.

 

“Fuck… I’m going to come…” he grunted.

 

“Don’t! Don’t come in me!” Vicky gasped as she tried to pull away.

 

He grimaced, his face twisting in erotic torture as he quickly pulled out. As they separated, he took his cock into his hand and, with three quick pumps, he spilled his essence onto her ass as he burned in sweet agony, then relaxed with a long sigh. “Fuck…” he groaned as he got to his feet, his knees complaining about his time on the hard ground.

 

“Fuck is right,” she sighed as she turned and sat on her ass in the dirt. “That was fucking incredible.” She looked at him, her eyes half close in the way of a well fed cat. “Thank you for not coming in me. I’m on the pill, but…”

 

“Yeah… I know.”

 

She stood and oozed into his arms. “Now what?”

 

“Now… we get dressed and go back to the party,” he said as he gently pulled out of her arms and began to dress.

 

“Just like that? We just fuck and run?”

 

“Just like that. It’s nothing personal. You wanted something from me; I wanted something from you. We each got what we wanted.”

 

“That’s kind of cold, isn’t it?” she asked as she began to gather her clothes.

 

“Yes…” he admitted. And that’s the problem, he thought. “But that’s just the way of the club. No ties. No commitments.”

 

“Then bikers are assholes,” she said with a smirk.

 

“And now you’re a biker bitch. It’s what you said you wanted. How’s it feel?”

 

She stared at Jules a moment then gave him a crooked grin. “I like the way bikers fuck, but I think I would rather go back to being a cowgirl. At least the cowboys don’t kick me in the ass as soon as we’re done,” she said as she pulled on her pants.

 

“And a nice ass it is, too,” he said as he slid his hand over the curve of her buttocks as she bent to shove her foot into her boot.

 

“Asshole.”

 

“Bitch.” They stared at each other a moment before she began to giggle and shake her head. “Buy you a beer?” he asked.

 

“I think that is the least you could do.”

 

Yes… it probably is, he thought as they walked back toward the party.

 

***

 

“Did you fuck her?” Fish asked, stepping up to Jules as Vicky took her beer and rejoined her friends.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“How was it?”

 

“Empty.”

 

“Empty? What do you mean?”

 

“I mean… it was just fucking. I got my rocks off, but it’s not like you and Kristen. There’s no… connection. No… something. I don’t know. I just feel hollow inside, like there is something missing.”

 

Fish looked into his friend’s eyes and could see the pain. “Mags and I are about to leave. Can you ride?”

 

“Yeah. Why?”

 

“You need to go home. Sleep it off. Tomorrow will be a new day. Forget about all this shit that is dragging you down. You have to let it go.”

 

“Easier said than done.”

 

“I know, but if I can help, or if you need anything, you call me,” Fish said sternly as he made a gun out of his fingers and pointed at Jules.

 

“Okay. I will. I think I’m out of here right behind you. I just want to check in with Todd before I leave.”

 

After Fish left, Jules tracked down Todd and made his goodbyes. As he was walking out he saw Spence, the treasurer, lying in a chaise with his old lady, sucking face.

 

Jules gave the chair a bump with his toe. “You want me to make the deposit tomorrow?”

 

Paul Spencer pulled his attention away from what he was doing long enough to look at Jules. “That would be great, if you don’t mind.” He looked at the woman squeezed into the chaise with him. “I think I’m going to be busy. The envelope is in the safe.”

 

Jules gave his head a shake. “Enjoy yourself.”

 

“Oh… he will,” the woman purred as she took his lips for her own again.

 

***

 

Jules rode through the cooling night, the Harley singing its song. He didn’t know what he was doing anymore. He felt lost and adrift.

 

When he reached his house, he kicked the door shut and went directly to the cabinet with the Jack. Not even bothering with a glass, he took a hard pull from the bottle that made him growl through gritted teeth. Picking up a glass, he took the bottle and a glass with him to the living room. He couldn’t face the dreams again. Not tonight.

 

With determined effort, he downed shot after shot to silence the voices as he flipped through his photo book. With the bottle nearly empty, he finally fell into a restless sleep in the wee hours of the morning, the book still open on his lap.