Chapter Twenty-five
“Shall we go?” Steve asked.
Julie glanced back one last time toward Roderick, seeing how the women were fawning over him and how he was glorying in their adulation. She had thought him the perfect man, but she’d found she was mistaken. Roderick was sophisticated, true, but in being sophisticated, he also thought himself quite superior to others, and that type of arrogance was one trait that disgusted Julie. She never had been one to tolerate pompousness. She had always thought her dream man would be a solid, strong man—a dependable man, a man of character and decisiveness. Not a man who was primarily concerned about himself and how others perceived him, but a man who was brave enough to dare to stand for something.
“Yes, please, let’s go.” She was eager to get away from the sight of the crowd of adoring women encircling Roderick.
Steve was relieved by her answer. He’d noticed that she’d glanced back toward Roderick, and he’d feared for a moment that she wanted to be with him.
Julie felt almost lighthearted as Steve escorted her from the premises. When they stepped outside, she looked up at the sky and reveled in the majesty of its black velvet vastness. She took a deep breath of fresh air.
“I needed that,” she told him with a grin.
“What?”
“A breath of fresh air. It got kind of stuffy in there.” Her smile turned a tad wicked.
“You didn’t enjoy the readings?” Steve was a bit surprised by her confession.
Julie looked thoughtful for a moment.
“I really had thought that I was going to find Roderick brilliant and interesting, but he lost me after the first twenty minutes. Everyday people living in a real world, dealing with real problems, don’t have the time to concern themselves with the things that seem so important to Roderick.” Even as she was speaking, Julie was surprising herself. All along she’d thought a man like Roderick was her heart’s desire, but now she knew better.
“It is a hard world out there,” Steve said, unable to keep all the bitterness out of his tone as they moved off down the street.
Julie heard the harshness in his tone, and it made her wonder how he had become the man he was.
“How did you . . .” Julie began, and then she paused, not quite sure how to ask him about his past.
“What do you want to know?” He looked down at her in the moonlight. Her pale hair gleamed in the soft light, and her complexion was flawless. She looked otherworldly, almost ethereal in her beauty, and he was mesmerized.
“How did you end up here in Durango?” She truly was curious.
Steve didn’t say anything for a moment, not sure how much to tell her about his past. “It’s a long story.”
“It’s a long walk,” she returned. “But if you don’t want to talk about it . . .”
“It doesn’t matter. Talking about it won’t change anything.” He paused for a moment, and then decided to tell her the truth. “I came to Durango looking for revenge.”
“Revenge?”
“There was only one thing I wanted when I rode into town, and that was to find the men responsible for sending to me prison.”
“I didn’t know you’d been in prison,” she said quietly.
“I was finally released when the law in Arizona discovered I’d been wrongly convicted, but by then I’d already spent months locked up. I learned a lot during those months—and a lot of what I learned, I never wanted to know.”
“That must have been terrible for you!” She looked up at him, shocked by his horrible revelation. “How did it happen?”
“I was framed by the men who really committed the robberies.”
“How did you manage to prove your innocence?” She could well imagine the frustration he must have felt being convicted and sent to jail for a crime he’d hadn’t committed.
“They finally caught one of the gang, who confessed that I’d never been involved. Only then did they let me go.”
“And you believe the gang is here now?”
“I read a newspaper account about one of the stage robberies you’d had in the area and thought it might be the same gang. But I haven’t seen any sign of the men I knew here in Durango.”
“How did you get your reputation as a fast gun in the first place?”
“I was just a kid, barely sixteen. There was a shooting contest at a fair in our county, and I won it. I always did like to handle a gun, and I was naturally good at it. Later that night, the man I beat got one of his friends, and the two of them came after me. They beat me up pretty bad.”
“Where was your family? Why didn’t someone help you?”
“There was only me and my pa, and by sundown most nights he was already drunk and passed out.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged indifferently. “The man I’d bested in the contest called me out. I guess he figured that if they’d beaten me up, I wouldn’t be in any condition to draw on him.”
Julie couldn’t help herself. She reached out and took his hand in hers. She could just imagine the terror a sixteen-year-old boy would feel, being beaten and then forced to fight a real gunfight.
“It was a fair fight,” he said tightly, “and I won it.” Steve suppressed a shudder at the memory of killing his first man. “His friend was so shocked that I’d killed him that he was ready to draw on me, too. I’d had enough by then. I turned on him and told him to get the hell off our land or he’d be dead along with his friend. He took the other man’s body with him, and I rode straight in to the sheriff’s office that night to tell him what had happened.”
“That must have been terrible for you.” She stopped walking to look up at him.
“It wasn’t too long after that that the rumors started about what a fast gun I was. From then on, it was kill or be killed. I learned real fast what was important in life, and it’s not what your boyfriend from back east was talking about. It’s survival.”
“Roderick’s not my boyfriend,” Julie protested quickly, suddenly finding the very idea abhorrent.
“But I thought . . .” Steve frowned.
Julie was glad that they were alone on the street when she looked up at him. “You thought wrong. He’s only my friend Ellen’s brother. He means nothing to me.”
Steve was confused. “That night at Tessa’s, though—”
“What night?” She didn’t know what he was talking about.
He looked a bit uncomfortable. “When you came over for the dancing lessons. I heard you and Tessa talking about him when you were standing out on the porch. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but you were talking right under my bedroom window. It sounded like you cared for him.”
“At the time I thought I did, but I’ve learned a lot in these last few days. What I used to think was important, I’ve discovered doesn’t matter quite so much.”
“I don’t understand.”
Julie was frustrated, but excited as she gazed up at Steve. Her heart was beating a frantic rhythm as she decided to risk everything for love.
“Kiss me, Steve.”
He needed no further invitation as he gathered her close and kissed her. He knew they were standing on the street, where anyone might happen by, but right then it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Julie had just asked him to kiss her. It was a request he couldn’t—and didn’t want to—refuse.
Their lips met, tentatively searching, then blending in a hungry exchange that expressed without words the depth of what they were both feeling.
When they broke apart, Julie gazed up at him. Her eyes were aglow with joy.
“Let’s hurry,” she whispered, taking his hand again and starting off down the street once more. She felt decidedly wild as she hurried toward her home. Her parents would be at dinner for a while, so she knew they would have the whole house to themselves.
Steve needed no further encouragement. He stayed with her every step of the way. The very idea of being alone with her was a dream come true for him.
When they reached the house, Julie unlocked the door and let them in. It was dark. She did not rush to light a lamp, but went straight into Steve’s arms.
“Steve,” she said in soft invitation as she looped her arms around his neck and drew him down to her for a kiss.
Steve groaned as his lips met hers. She was beauty and innocence and everything that was good about life, and he needed her. He crushed her to him, wanting to hold her close. The heat of his desire flared to life as he parted her lips and deepened the exchange.
Julie responded without reserve, kissing him back, moving against him, wanting him as he wanted her. When his hand sought the curve of her breast, she whimpered softly at the sensations his caress evoked. She did not try to stop him, but shifted in his arms to offer him more.
Her innocent invitation was almost his undoing. He went still, trying to slow his driving passion. He was no saint—Lord knew he wanted her—but he knew what could happen if he didn’t leave her now. She was too much of a temptation for him.
“Julie,” Steve said in a hoarse voice, “I’d better go.”
She had been caught up in a sensual web that his kisses and caress had woven around her, and any semblance of sanity had vanished. She didn’t want Steve to stop kissing her. She didn’t want him to go.
“No,” she whispered against his lips, teasing him, enticing him with small, soft kisses.
“No?” Steve was stunned. “But your parents—”
“Won’t be back for ages.”
She led him into the parlor and drew him down on the sofa. Leaning back, she lifted her arms to him in invitation.
Steve told himself he should leave her right then. She was a virgin, unschooled in the ways of men. With his last shred of sanity, he cautioned himself to go while he still could, to protect her from himself. And then she touched him, running her hands up his chest, urging him down to her, and all reason was lost. It was only the two of them, alone in the darkness of the warm night.
They came together in a frenzy of desire. Each touch, each kiss, stoked the blaze of their need to a white-hot passion. He worked at the buttons at the bodice of her gown, then slipped her chemise from her shoulders, baring that sweet flesh to his kisses.
Julie gasped in delight and held him to her, reveling in the sensations the touch of his lips evoked. She had never known a man’s touch or kiss could make her feel this way. But then she realized it wasn’t just any man’s caress that was thrilling her—it was Steve’s. She shivered in excitement as she worked to unbutton his shirt.
Steve rose up over her and helped her free him from his shirt; then he bent to her, capturing her lips in a hungry exchange. The heat of his body seared her, and she wrapped her arms around him, caressing the sleek, hard-muscled width of his back. Instinctively Julie moved restlessly against him. Her body ached with an empty, driving need to get even closer to Steve.
Brushing her skirts aside, Steve fit himself more intimately against her. The contact was electric, and Julie arched up to him. She whimpered as her excitement built to a fever pitch.
“I want to love you,” Julie told him, her gaze passion-dark as she looked up at him. “Love me, Steve.”
“I do, Julie. I do.”
He could no more have stopped loving her at that moment than he could have stopped breathing. He drew back only long enough to help her slip off her undergarment, then freed himself to take her.
Julie gasped as Steve sought the depths of her womanhood. Pressing forward, he pierced the proof of her innocence and claimed her as his own.
Steve had never known joy so sweet as that he found buried deep within the heat of her slender body. He continued to caress her and kiss her, wanting to tell her by his actions what she meant to him. He was not a man of words. He could only show her how much he cared.
With care and gentleness, he moved within her, introducing her to the joy of love. He kept his rhythm steady and arousing until he felt her matching him in his need.
Julie had known a little about the actual act of lovemaking, but the whispers she’d heard were nothing compared to the reality of being with Steve. Loving him was pure bliss. She was caught up in the excitement of Steve’s loving. His every touch and kiss left her more and more breathless. An aching delight grew within her that left her clutching at him, wanting some mysterious release that only he could give her. And then it happened—the burning need within her crested in an explosion of ecstasy.
Steve had been holding himself back, wanting to please her. When he felt her reach love’s peak, he quickened his own pace. He whispered her name as he, too, reached the heights of rapture. They clung to each other as they quietly marveled at the beauty they’d just experienced.
Enfolded in Julie’s arms, Steve rested, knowing true peace for the first time in his life.
It was long moments later when their sanity returned. Steve finally tore himself away from the haven of Julie’s embrace. He didn’t want to leave her, but he had to. She was too tempting. Just being that close to her aroused him, and he had already put her at risk tonight.
“Julie, I’m—”
“You’d better not say you’re sorry,” she told him, her eyes aglow as she gazed up at him.
He leaned toward her and kissed her one last, passionate time. “I’ll never be sorry for loving you.”
“Oh, Steve.” She reached for him, wanting him again.
He moved safely away.
“I’d better go,” Steve said regretfully.
“Do you have to?” Julie wanted to hold him to her heart and keep him with her forever.
He grinned at her. “I don’t think your father would be too pleased to find us like this.”
“Then marry me,” she said boldly. “Tonight. Right now. I don’t care about a big, fancy wedding. We can go to the justice of the—”
“No, Julie.”
His answer was so sternly spoken that she was startled by it. She looked up at him, shocked.
“But—”
“I can’t even think of marrying you. Not until I’ve done what I came here to do.”
Steve’s expression turned grim as the reality of his life intruded into the loving haven they’d created. The need for revenge was too great within him to let it go. It had been driving him for months; he had to find the gang. Until they’d paid for what they’d done to him, he would have no rest.
“But I could help you. We all could,” she insisted, devastated by what he was saying. “You can start a new life here. You can forget your past and—”
Steve pierced her with a cold glare. “There is no forgetting my past, Julie. Young fools like Avery Hanes won’t let me forget it. I have to live with who I am every minute of every day, never knowing when someone might pull a gun on me.” He realized in complete misery and fury that he’d been a fool to think he could fall in love with Julie and have any kind of future with her. But he had wanted her so badly, needed her so much.
The painful truth of Steve’s words silenced her. She looked on as Steve straightened his own clothing. When he came to her wanting to help her with her clothing, she refused his help and quickly buttoned her own bodice. She stood up, wanting to go to him, to somehow reach him, but he moved away from her.
“Good night, Julie,” he said.
Their gazes met for an instant as he stood by the door, and she could see even in the darkness the pain etched onto his handsome features. She said no more as he let himself out of the house.
Julie stood alone in the parlor staring after him. She was confused by what had happened. Steve had said that he loved her, but he’d refused to marry her. She bit her lip to fight back the tears as she ran upstairs to her room. She threw herself on the bed and cried until the tears would come no more. When at last she was quiet, she changed clothes, hiding the petticoat that showed the proof of her lost innocence. She knew she was going to have to sneak it out of the house somehow. She couldn’t let her mother know what had happened.
When her parents returned home sometime later, and her mother opened her bedroom door to check on her, Julie feigned sleep.