Easton
Yesterday was a fucking nightmare that slithered into today. She left me and it fucking hurts. Shortly after she left the office, so did I and aimlessly wandered into Lucy’s. I got sloppy as fuck drunk before I went home and tossed and turned all night wishing the darkness would grab me.
I love you was right there, right fucking there as she stood before me bearing her broken soul. Except she was telling me every damn reason to not be with me. It’s hard as hell to tell someone you love them when they’re shoving you away.
I woke up this morning just as empty as I was when I finally fell asleep. Despair scorches me, numbing me from the inside out. I had my heart shattered when I was in high school, but it doesn’t remotely compare to this feeling. I’m not mad at Zoey. I’m disappointed. I had someone who felt so good in my life, someone who fit perfectly, and she walked out.
It’s a bitter broken.
And where’s a good place to be when your shattered? At home in the company of a bottle of tequila.
My phone rings and Max’s name pops up on the screen.
“Yeah, man?” I answer, unenthused.
“Did you forget about our lunch?”
I blow a breath and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Well, fuck yeah I did. Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be there. Newsflash, I’ll be late.”
I hang up on him and immediately dial Clint for a ride. And since I’ve got a driver, slam another shot down while I wait, allowing the cool burn to travel down my throat. The heat spreads down my chest and into my stomach, easing some of the dismay. It’s gratifying in epic proportions.
I stroll into Max’s office, thankful as hell it’s him and not Zach. Zach would light my ass on fire.
Max frowns. “Dude. You’ve been drinking?”
I look down at my suit, wiping down my chest with a chuckle. “Did I spill some?”
He tilts his head casting a cursory stare.
I roll my eyes and shake my head. “Long story short. Zoey split. Another one bites the dust.”
“What the hell did you do this time?” he chides.
“Enjoyed fucking.” I drop like a dead weight into the chair opposite his desk.
His brows knit together with disappointment. “You cheated on her?”
Tightening my lips, I shake my head. “No, dumbass, I didn’t.”
It registers and he grunts. “Your reputation precedes you.”
I flick my wrist. “I called this shit from the get go. I knew it was gonna happen. She’s unwinnable. But I tried. That’s what matters right?” I slur the ending.
“How much have you had to drink?”
Resting back into the chair, I raise my chin to him with a smug smirk. “Enough to forget about our lunch, but not enough to forget why I started drinking.”
He stretches over his desk, handing me a bottle of water. Probably a good idea. I’m going to feel like death later. “Sooo…” he draws it out. “You’re just going to let her walk away?”
“There wasn’t anything I could say, man.”
“What about showing you love her?”
Ah, Max. The sensitive hopeless romantic. He’s more in tune with his emotions than the rest of us. “I’m done with fighting her insecurities. And who the hell said I loved her?”
He snaps his fingers, ending with it pointing at me. “If you’re not honest with yourself, how do you expect her to know she has nothing to worry about?”
I level my view.
“Accept the fact you’ve been burned by everyone you’ve ever tried to love and move on. Quit being a pussyfoot. What’s the difference between Zoey holding your past against you and you holding your past against her?” he asks.
I scowl. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He laughs like a haughty asshole. “Yeah. I’m sure. You quit giving anyone a chance after Shannon took off with the quarterback in high school. You were miserably broken-hearted. And then Penelope duped you into believing what the fuck you all had was actually love. Don’t sit back and try to deny any of this. I was there.”
“Whatever,” I grumble.
He laughs again and then quickly recoups, leaning his elbows on his desk. “Don’t act like none of us have ever been in your shoes.” He tosses a folder over his desk, and it smacks me in the chest. “Have you looked at your prints?”
The folder falls to my lap and I massage my temples, fighting the raging headache I feel approaching. “Yeah. If you’re not in a hurry, I can get a crew together in about three months.”
Surprised, his brows jump high. “Your empire seems to be stretched thin.”
I smirk. “What doesn’t stretch doesn’t grow.”
He grins, pointing to the folder. “It’s the contract. I won’t need you until then anyway. Zach’s guys will be starting in a month.”
“I’m expecting wine.”
“Of course.” He stands. “Now, be here at six and dress like you’re telling the woman of your dreams how madly in love with her you are.”
“The fuck for?”
He slaps my shoulder. “Because it’s exactly what you’ll do. I’ll quit meddling right after. Unless you just want to walk away from it all…” He leaves it hanging between us.
I flick my view to him. “You’ll quit right after?”
He grins and nods.
I can’t fight back the smile. “You have a deal then.”
After leaving Max’s I went home and slept for several hours before taking a shower and getting dressed. I feel energized, ready to do what I should’ve done long before now.
Max was right. I am holding my past against Zoey.
Twice charred and I was done with love.
Done having to recover from it and start over. Done feeling gutted. Done being crushed. I blocked it all out. I knew if I didn’t allow myself to feel, I didn’t have to deal with the emotions. It motivated me to only seek out fucks—no strings attached. Minimal involvement with no expectations.
Until Zoey. I chanced it, giving in to my fears, yet still holding back. Whether or not we work things out, I need her to know where I stand. I need her to know exactly how I feel about her without any assumptions in the middle. A clear path without the cluster fuck of my past haunting me.
As a business man, I’ve learned how to suppress the thoughts that create worry, but this…this is making me nervous as hell.
Stepping into Lauder Winery, I see the spring in Isabella’s kinky curls as she rushes to greet me. Her amber eyes are large and round, and her smile is relaxed.
“Mr. Langley. You’re set up right this way. Follow me.”
She leads me down the long hallway, past the main dining room, through another hall with windows overlooking part of the grape vines. She slows her gait as we approach a room. This part of the winery is the most updated with a modern feel to it. Isabella doesn’t enter, only lifting her arm gesturing me to go in.
Quietly I step in. Zoey’s back is toward me, but when Max’s eyes shift to me, she glances over her shoulder. Her face freezes, body straightens. She jerks back to Max and says something. Whatever it is has him chuckling.
“I didn’t lie. He wasn’t here then. Hear him out,” he whispers. As he starts past me, he hands me a glass of wine. “Don’t fuck it up this time.”
I soak her in—scarlet red long sleeved sweater falling off one shoulder. Black jeans with rips in the knees. She sets her glass down and grabs her purse.
“I had a feeling this was a setup,” she murmurs striding past me.
Grabbing her by the wrist, I stop her. “I get it. I’ve got a million things stacked up against me,” I say to the back of her head. “Please, Zoey. Just let me talk. Hear me out.”
Her shoulders deflate and she lowers her head without a word.
“Odd place to do it, but I wanted to check on the baby hamsters. I’ve grown close to the little fellows.” I’m doing my best to loosen the mood.
She shakes her head. “You’re seriously never going to let me live that down?”
“I don’t want this, Zoey,” I say while I’ve got the courage. I set my wine glass down on the table beside me and gently tug her to turn her around. “I don’t want this,” I repeat. “Underneath all this, I’m just me and you see exactly who I am. You looked past the idiot with a lot of money who can promise you a brilliant future. You didn’t see the guy with the horrible reputation slathered throughout the city. You saw through it. And you reminded me what if felt like not to be broken.”
Her eyes finally find their way to mine. I watch her throat work as she swallows.
“Despite everything—your wildest insecurities to your shyness, you are my perfect. Your sweet outweighs your shy. Your strength outweighs your fears. Your honesty surpasses your insecurities. You straighten me when I’m off balance. You ignite me in so many damn ways.”
A tears spills onto her cheek and she drops her view.
“You’re not out for my stock. And for someone to want to work for everything and not have it given to them…it’s beautiful. You not wanting people to think you’ve screwed your way to the top only proves your self-respect. Your dignity and pride…Zoey, you’re fucking captivating in more ways than you’ll ever see.”
She wipes the tears out from under her eyes.
“You’re worried you’re not good enough for me, but in fact, I’ve never felt like I was good enough for you. I’m broken with a hard shell, petrified to feel the hurt loving someone can bring. But if you could only see yourself from my eyes, you’d know you don’t have a damn thing to worry about. I’m madly in love with you and I don’t want to be without you. I need you.”
A small sob cracks from her chest.
“Zoey, I love you. I’ve been so scared to tell you because I’m afraid and I let my fears lead me.”
She peers back up underneath her wet lashes. “I do want this. You. Us. But it always hurts.”
I can’t handle watching her cry any longer. I reach out and wipe my thumb over her tears. “I’ve never wanted to hurt you.” Tucking a finger under her chin, I pull her face toward mine. “I want you, Zoey. I want you in my life. Please. Give me a chance. I love you.” That feels so damn good to finally say without any hesitations.
Her kiss is adrenalizing, filling my existence with fervid energy. She whimpers quietly as I grip her cheeks and break the kiss. “Please tell me that was a yes.”
She draws her teeth between her lips and nods.
I kiss her hard, jerking her body against mine and embracing her tightly. “Zoey…” I pant, pulling away to look her in the eyes. “You’re not going to be my little secret anymore. Either I’m firing you right now, or you’re going to get over this boss thing.”
She glances away, hesitation clouding her gaze. “Will you be professional at work?”
I nod eagerly. “Professional desk fucking. Yes.”
She giggles. “You know that will never happen, right?”
I grin. “Challenge accepted.”
She drops her head back and laughs. I move a strand of hair from her face, and it sobers her up quickly.
“Let’s get out of here.” I tip my head to the door. “I’ve always heard makeup sex was the best.”
Clutching her hand, I lead the way out. We’re passing through the main dining area when I spot Max. He smirks, tipping his head and then continues back with the conversation he was having with Isabella.
I owe his ass a big thank you.