Chapter Thirteen
When Luz awoke this time, the bedroom was infused with light. She glanced at her watch and sat up so quickly she felt dizzy. No way was it 2:00. It couldn’t be. She’d lost the whole day. She’d been planning to meet up with Paz at the beach this afternoon and work with her in small, cable access studio later.
Luz jumped out of bed, ignoring the wave of weariness that swamped her.
She needed to work out more. She was getting out of shape. And Lane was right. She probably did need to eat something. She’d been surviving on her nerves, and those were too frayed lately, although last night had definitely been a distraction from her problems.
She quickly took a shower, luxuriating in the spray from above as well as from the sides. She felt more awake and refreshed, but she realized she still didn’t know where Lane had put her clothes. Figuring he had left the house long ago, she wrapped a large, fluffy towel around herself and pushed open the double doors of the bedroom to head down the wide hall, lined on both sides by a beautiful salt water aquarium.
She heard the sound of an espresso machine.
Yes, please.
Luz walked quietly, hoping to surprise Lane in the kitchen. She did and more.
There were about twelve men and women, sitting around a large table in the attached dining room. Most of them had computers set up with monitors bigger than many people’s TVs. Another six people were set up around the large amber-colored ice stone kitchen island. They worked on laptops. Lane was steaming a variety of milks for lattes.
The muted conversations stopped and all the attention swiveled to Luz.
She clutched the towel tighter. Where had all these people come from and why?
“Hey, baby.” Lane turned around and his smile nearly blinded her.
He turned off the steamer and strolled over to her, wrapping her up in his long, strong arms. She felt enveloped, and even though they were definitely far from alone, she relaxed into him just a little. He walked her backwards into another room.
He kissed the top of her head.
“Sleep well?”
She could feel herself blush. Hopefully no one knew she was technically still his sister-in-law. It was like a Kardashian episode.
“I need my clothes,” she whispered and held the towel like her life depended on it.
He smiled down into her embarrassed face, his expression warm, open, happy. So different from last night, How could he be so relaxed about everything? Last night had been an emotional roller coaster, and he was on the brink of an enormous business deal.
“I don’t agree with the word need.” He teased. “How are you feeling? Let me fix you something to eat?”
“A latte sounds good.”
“Be hungry,” he said. “You need your antibiotic and one latte coming up.”
“I thought you were making mine next.” A guy with long hair and three earrings called out.
Lane laughed and flipped him off. “End of the line for you, Jason. Luz is first. Always.”
“You should have woken me up earlier.”
“You needed the rest. You’re supposed to take it easy.
His emphasis on “supposed” reminded her of last night.
“I would if you’d behave.”
“I’ll show you around,” he said, “So it’s easier to find things, and then I’ll make you a latte.”
He led her back to his room, arm around her shoulders, hand near her waist.
“Thought we were down to the minute, boss.” She thought it was Jason who called out.
“You are,” Lane said.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” she said, linking her fingers with his, surprised at how easily their physical relationship had fallen back into place like twelve years and one husband had never happened. It should be disconcerting, but she felt right, comfortable in her own skin for the first time in a long time.
“You didn’t.”
She had, but just like he had all those years ago, Lane made her feel like his first priority. It was addicting. She craved his caring and tenderness. But she was here to rebuild her life, not jump into a relationship with him. She needed to be independent.
“Why is everyone here? I thought your office was in Newport. Surely, it would be easier to work there.”
“But you are here,” he said. “So I texted the main part of the launch team to come down here today and for the weekend to work. It will be easier to have everyone centralized for the competition and the launch anyway.”
“I thought there were no hotel rooms in town,” she stopped walking.
He tugged her into his chest.
“There aren’t. They are staying here. This place is ridiculously huge with lots of spare rooms and a basement game area that doubles as sleeping quarters. It’s why I bought it. I don’t need this all space for myself.”
“You snap your fingers and arrange your world to suit your needs and whims.” In that respect he was most definitely a Duke.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” He grinned and then began to nuzzle her neck.
She tried to remain immune, but her body betrayed her. Her nipples peaked, and her breath snagged when his tongue stroked her collarbone.
“It’s not bad necessarily. It’s just a…thing. Lane…” She began, but was distracted when she felt the full weight of his erection pressed against her pelvis.
She tried to harness some willpower. “You’re supposed to be showing me around.”
“I am.”
“So I can get dressed and meet Paz and you can go back to work with your team who are all down the hall.”
“I want to make love to you again. I want to be inside you.”
Luz couldn’t think of anything she wanted more, but she was falling for him all over again, only harder this time because she had been starved for caring, acceptance, and passion for so long, and Lane exuded all of them with every breath he drew.
“I believe you are supposed to be working,” she murmured, not at all a persuasive argument.
“Perks of being the boss,” he said, continuing to walk her backwards down the wide hall.
He slipped one finger into the knot of her towel and tugged it open.
“Lane.” Even Luz had to admit it sounded nowhere near a protest.
“You are so beautiful.” He cupped her face between her hands. “So lovely. So special.”
She covered his hands with hers, intending to tell him no, they couldn’t just jump back into a physical relationship again, that last night was a one-off. It had to be. Except when she met his hungry gaze, she felt like she was looking into a mirror.
“I want to make love to you,” he said starkly, his back flush with the door to his bedroom. “Do you want that, too?”
“Yes,” she whispered, unwilling to let him go just yet. She’d have to do it soon enough.
* * *
An hour later, Luz had showered again, was dressed in jeans and a tank and a thin cashmere sweater and was sipping a latte. She sat out on a side courtyard that had a small, green pot water feature and quite a few other colorful ceramic pots with lemon trees, olive trees, and birds of paradise. It was beautiful, peaceful, and seductive.
Lane came out with a plate. “Cheese and avocado omelet, baked kale and corn muffin.”
She turned her face up to the blue sky, loving the feeling of the sun on her face. She was supposed to meet Paz in another hour at the local cable station studio so she had a few minutes to try to regroup.
“Decadent,” she murmured, “but I think we long ago blew by the brunch hour.”
“Brunch is flexible. And you need to get your strength back.”
“Thank you. It looks and smells delicious, but taking care of me is not your responsibility.”
“I know. But I want to.”
He made it sound so easy.
Luz took a bite or the omelet, which was fluffy, and wondered about how to proceed. It was so strange not to have a million things to do, and she found she liked it. She could think again. She also felt so comfortable, happy, but this was Lane’s life. Not hers. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she didn’t want to get herself into another situation where she turned over control of her life to a man, even if this man was so easy to fall in love with and so different from Alex in all but last name.
“Why did you really bring your whole team down here.” She stalled, unwilling to tackle the issue head on. “Was it really just convenience?”
“I wanted to be with you.” He sat down at the round mosaic-tiled table and took one of her hands in his.
Luz felt her insides soften and feel like they were on the verge of melting into a gooey puddle of emotion. He was looking at her with such an intense longing, his eyes taking in every detail like she really mattered to him, and it made it hard to breathe. How could he fall so fast? How could he forgive so quickly and easily that she had sent him away? That she had married his brother? And he didn’t even know her biggest crime. The decision she’d made without him that haunted her every day.
She withdrew her hand and palmed her latte as if the warmth would give her strength. “And?” She could sense he was holding something back.
“Logistically, it makes sense, but I couldn’t leave you here alone. I’m sure my brother’s already planning his slippery assault and will arrive momentarily after sending my mother in to spy out the territory first.”
Her stomach heaved at that accurate assessment, but she needed to face Alex. She glanced down at her forearm. Took a deep breath and picked up her fork. Lane was right. She needed to take care of herself better.
“I need to face him,” she said and took a bite of omelet as if facing her hopefully soon to be ex was going to be easy. “I want a divorce.”
“I know, but I am going to be there with you.”
“You don’t need to protect me,” she said softly, putting her fork down, her appetite gone. “I can face my own problems and manage my own life.”
“I know,” he said. “But you don’t need to be alone.”
“But that’s just it.” She dabbed at her mouth with her napkin and then put it down carefully on the table. “I do need to be alone.” She took a deep breath and admitted something she had never told anyone else, had even tried to hide it from herself. “My marriage to Alex was suffocating. I don’t think I fully understood how unhappy I was until I got a little distance these past weeks. He judged and dictated everything, and I got so caught up in trying to please him and your family that I don’t even know who I am anymore. Even my moods were dictated and medicated.”
Lane looked like each word she spoke was a blow.
“I wouldn’t ever do that to you,” he said hollowly.
“I know. But I have to figure out who I am. What I want. On my own.”
“I don’t want to impede you. I don’t want to control you. Or direct your life. I want you to be happy.” He took her hands in his, and his depth of emotion and sincerity cut through her. “You can do whatever you choose. Be whomever you choose. I just want a chance again.”
She sucked in a breath. How could he even want to try to commit to anything with her? They had too much history. She was a mess. And he didn’t know the worst part, and all the tattoos in the world weren’t going to give her the courage to tell him that.
But didn’t she owe him the truth?
But there was nothing he could do to right that wrong. It would hurt him, and it was not like any healing could come out of that revelation or peace, and she didn’t feel like she deserved any. It wasn’t like the secret could come between them. There couldn’t be a them. Or, was she just protecting herself, wanting him to still look at her as if she were precious to him?
She had to be strong. She’d come here to start over and she had to do that alone. She’d lost her chance with Lane. She’d tossed it away in a moment of panic.
“Lane, last night was…” A million adjectives danced on her tongue, but she didn’t want to give him false hope nor did she want him to know that, once again, she was afraid she wasn’t strong enough to say goodbye even though it would be best for both of them. “Unexpected. I can’t deny that I feel…strongly drawn to you for many reasons, but I can’t jump back into a relationship with you. I haven’t learned how to be on my own yet. I’d rely on you instead of myself.”
“And I’d rely on you. We’d be there for each other.”
“You make it sound so easy,” she whispered.
“It is easy. You just have to take the chance. No tengo miedo.”
“But I am afraid,” she said, tears gathering in her eyes.
He was making this so hard. She needed to run but instead was standing still.
“And you’ve been relying on yourself since you were a child, Luz. You are strong. Loving someone, trusting someone, even the wrong person doesn’t make you weak.”
“Hey.” He traced the tattoo with his thumb as he kissed her other cheek, tasting her tears.
“You are so easy to love.” She lost the battle with her tears.
“Then love me,” he said. “I love you. I always have.”
Luz felt swamped with despair. She had loved him. “I never stopped,” Luz whispered. “That’s the problem.”
Lane bent his head to kiss her tattoo, his lips exquisitely sensuous and, over his beautiful white blonde curls that always reminded her of Apollo, the sun god, Luz saw the harsh, mocking stare of her husband.