Back then I wouldn’t have admitted it, but the next summer, every time I saw a private town car pull up to the curb in front of the administration building, my heart lurched into my throat and I’d hold my breath. But when the car doors opened and it wasn’t Roman who stepped out, my stomach plummeted to my feet.

After half an hour, I turned to Melanie with my already short fingernails held against my mouth. “He’s not coming.”

She cracked her gum under her tongue and shook her head. “He’ll be here. He found a way to get you here last year, didn’t he?”

The reminder of what went down made me dizzy. “I could really go for a smoke,” I muttered, sighing heavily.

After Roman left with his dad, I spent the remaining days at camp puffy-eyed and worried sick. Even though Roman almost always was the one to call me, I still had his number memorized. I told the director that my grandmother was sick and was allowed several days in a row to make calls from the office, but no one ever answered. Then one day I called to discover the number had been disconnected.

The last day of camp, I decided to suck it up and approached Brooke even though I hated myself for giving her any power over me. The second she realized I was headed toward her, she became rigid and her nostrils flared like she smelled something rotten. The start of a panic attack crawled into my stomach once I was standing in front of her.

“Look, everyone. It’s the girl who ruined Roman’s summer,” she sang to her friends in a tone laced with sarcasm. Setting a hand on her hip, she scowled. “What do you want?”

“I know you hate me, Brooke, but I’m worried about Roman.” I held out a piece of paper with my home phone number. “Can you…just…let me know when you get back to New York if he’s all right?”

“He’ll be fine. At least he’s far away from you.”

I wiggled the piece of paper between us. “Please.” It made me ill to have to beg her, but I didn’t know what else to do. Roman’s dad had been livid, and it was killing me not knowing what his comment about going to juvie had to do with me. “I’m really worried about him.”

I don’t know if it was because I looked legitimately afraid for Roman, or if Brooke actually had a beating heart, but she plucked the paper from my fingers. “Fine, whatever.” Then she rolled her eyes before walking away.

Still, she never called.

After returning home, I spent hours at the public library, searching the Internet for everyone living in Manhattan with the Stone surname. When I came up empty-handed, I asked my Aunt Joey for help. Her first idea was to call child services in New York, but I was scared to death it could trigger something bigger, and land Roman in a foster home. When I told her that wasn’t happening, she called Chris, an older man with thinning hair that she had started seeing while I was gone, and asked his advice since he “had connections.” And that’s how Aunt Joey was finally convinced to let me open a Facebook account.

When I came across the profile picture of Roman grinning proudly in a short black uniform, holding a basketball against his hip, my insides became a bowl of jelly. I swear I stared at it for an entire hour before printing a black and white copy that I would later frame and keep on my dresser for years to come. I tried clicking through his other pictures, but it seemed there was only the one. He either wasn’t on his account much, or had everything else set as private. I sent him a friend request and sat there with my fingers crossed, staring at the screen for what felt like an eternity.

I kept going back to the library every day for a week. He never accepted my request.

I told myself it was because he had been grounded, and not because he was mad at me, or even worse, because his dad had hurt him severely. When the idea that Roman could be dead first came crashing into me, unapologetic and brutally painful, I spent twenty minutes dry-heaving over a library toilet.

As the days became colder and the nights grew longer, I lost interest in school and was lucky to pass any of my classes. Roman didn’t try to call or send a letter, and I became physically ill with concern. Then Aunt Joey announced two days before Thanksgiving that we were moving to Las Vegas because Chris found them both jobs at a casino that would pay really well, and I lost any remaining will to live. I had no way to get in touch with Roman, and he would no longer have my number.

By the time we settled with Chris in the crappy little apartment just a block off The Strip, things got ugly. I hated Chris, and I was eating nothing more than the toast Aunt Joey made me choke down whenever she was around. I once considered stealing Chris’s car and driving to New York, even though I knew everything about the idea was dumb. But I’d do anything to get the hell out of that apartment. And I was desperate to see Roman.

Without thinking or having any kind of plan, I’d take off at night whenever I was home alone to wander the busy streets. Anything to take my mind off losing the boy I loved. On those nights I was offered sex, booze, and drugs. I was desperate, but not desperate enough to get involved with anything illegal. At least not at that point.

Melanie called often, not bothering to hide her worry as soon as she realized something was off. She once caught Aunt Joey on the phone, and suggested to her that I see a doctor. Then Melanie convinced Kalee—the friend from Colorado who beat me out for the first scholarship the year before—to start calling to lift my spirits.

That’s when I first learned of the rumor going around that Roman had stolen money from his dad to pay for “my scholarship.”

The news gutted me. I had no way of knowing whether or not it was true, but it fit with the things his dad said the day he took Roman home. The idea that Roman could be serving time in juvie because of me was too much to bear. Crippling guilt kept me from doing much of anything for an entire week.

Around the time I normally would’ve been at tryouts, I started hanging out with a wild crowd from school. I knew they were all trouble, but that didn’t matter as long as they were friendly. They got me into drinking hardcore booze and smoking menthols. I took whatever they offered, eager to numb the pain of losing my Roman, and possibly ruining his life.

There was this somewhat cute guy in his late twenties who was a total flirt. He went by the name of Benjamin and was tall with a deep voice. Whenever I was drunk, I could close my eyes and pretend he was Roman. One night he pinned me up against a wall and kissed me hard. I let it happen until he shoved his vodka-laced tongue into my mouth and dug his hard-on into my belly. It felt so dirty because I didn’t want to kiss anyone other than Roman, but it helped relieve the loneliness that had only gotten worse since camp.

Although I put distance between myself and Benjamin, letting him know I wasn’t interested in a relationship, he was still especially nice and didn’t bat an eye at letting me into his tight-knit circle of friends. One night me and two of the girls were hauled to the police station for alleged solicitation. I thought my friends were only joking when they approached the middle aged man, but turns out they had been to juvie in the past for sleeping with old guys in exchange for money.

Any remaining innocence left over from my childhood was stripped away the minute I was exposed to the Vegas lights. Aunt Joey was always yelling at me to wear longer shorts and cover my breasts. Chris threatened to kick me out when he caught me smoking in my room. His threat should’ve been enough to scare me straight. But it wasn’t. I put up with far more than I should’ve and became someone I wasn’t proud of.

Aunt Joey didn’t know what to do with me, so she borrowed money from the bank behind Chris’s back, and signed me up for Camp Oscines. She figured it was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and hoped I’d find my way back to the old Isabelle.

The sideways glances Melanie kept giving me our first day back together made it clear the old me was long gone. My friend almost looked…afraid. And that made me ridiculously happy. I didn’t want to be the weakling that cried whenever Brooke said mean things, or the dopey-eyed girl who had a crush on someone she could never have. I was done being a victim. And I silently cheered when the tall pine trees and brick buildings first came into view.

“Maybe we should go change into our uniforms while we’re waiting,” Melanie suggested, blatantly trying to make her voice casual.

I cupped my small breasts with my hands and looked down at them as I adjusted my bra. “What? You don’t think what I’m wearing is appropriate camp attire?”

Two guys walked by just then and one whistled. As Melanie pressed her lips together, I laughed with a loud cackle. But my amusement evaporated as Roman stepped out from the back of a long black limousine. My breath hitched in my nicotine-deprived lungs, and I swear the world stopped turning.

The expression he wore was grim, impossibly serious. I couldn’t decide if it was because he was holding his thick jaw at a funny angle, or if he had physically changed that much in appearance. He was no longer gangly and awkward. Beneath a button-down shirt, his chest had noticeably bulked, slightly stretching the material. Even his legs looked bulky inside khaki pants. He was deeply tanned, and his sandy hair was buzzed down to military length, making him look years beyond fifteen.

He was a mere heartbeat away from becoming a grown man. And he was drop-dead gorgeous. It was the kind of beauty that literally took one’s breath away and made a person lightheaded.

The way he carried himself was different too, probably because his shoulders and arms had become thick with muscle. He reminded me of a smaller version of my new high school’s quarterback—a guy no one dared to mess with, not just because of his intimidating size, but because of his mannerisms.

But when those starry eyes cut my way, I finally saw a flash of my Roman.

As much as I wanted to collapse to the sidewalk and cry in relief, I wasn’t immediately convinced that everything was going to be all right. We had both undergone major changes—some visible and some hidden just beneath the surface. Months had passed without any kind of communication. I knew I wasn't the same person, and I was afraid he was no longer my Roman. Neither of us smiled as our gazes locked, like we were too scared to acknowledge it was real.

Then his eyes flickered down to my breasts and a tick passed through his squared jaw. A funny feeling sloshed through my gut beneath his heated gaze. I was taken aback when I decided what I was feeling for my friend was raw desire. I was tingling everywhere—most notably between my legs.

“Told you he’d come,” Melanie whispered, easing some of the tension. “God, he looks so different. Don’t you think?” She lightly tapped me on the shoulder, but I still hadn’t drawn my eyes away from Roman. “Okay then. Guess I’ll be waiting in the cabin after you’ve had your…whatever it is you guys are about to do.”

It was once she was gone that Roman decided to approach me. A couple of girls I shared a cabin with the summer before strolled past, their jaws hanging open when they got an eyeful of him. When one of them made a noise of appreciation, jealousy surged through me with the uncontrollable force of a hurricane. He was mine.

As he stood exceptionally close, I felt tiny in his shadow. I also felt week and vulnerable, knowing he could ask me to do or be anything and I’d crumble to his will. His pupils were dilated, but I doubted he was on anything. This was something else.

“Belle.”

The nickname reserved solely for him fell from his lips with a groan as he gathered me in his strong arms the way I still sometimes clutched the teddy bear he gave me all those years ago. His head dropped against me, and he slumped just enough that I wondered if I’d have to hold him upright. He was so much bigger than the last time we had hugged. The bulge of his muscles felt so different from when he was long and lanky, having yet to grow into his body. My lungs filled with his musky spice when I sucked in a deep breath. His body was warm and hard, almost erasing the heartache that had carved a gaping hole inside me after being forced to go so long without him.

It was heaven on earth.

Deep down I wanted to hate him for abandoning me, for not doing everything in his power to reach out and let me know that he hadn’t forgotten about me, or what we had. My fingers curled into fists as I considered punching him, beating an apology from his chest.

But his dad had already put him through enough. I had put him through enough.

“What happened to you?” I whispered in a cracked voice, finally giving in to wrap my arms around him. Tears stung my eyes as I dug my fingers into the back of his shirt, wishing I could hold him there forever. “Why didn’t you call?”

He sniffled in my ear as his muscular arms flexed around me. I wondered if he was crying too. “My old man sent me to a military academy in Texas. There wasn’t time to grab anything from my room before he stuck me on a plane, and I couldn’t remember your address to mail you a letter. I tried calling you after I was given phone privileges at the academy, but I got some old lady who said she had just moved there.”

“We moved to Vegas with my aunt’s new boyfriend.”

A grunt vibrated in his throat. “I was scared as shit I wouldn’t see you again. At first my father refused to let me come here, then my grandma stepped up and paid my way, said I had earned it after being sent to Texas and still keeping up good grades.”

My chest hurt with the mention of his dad. “Roman…I heard what you did. I know why he was so upset.”

With his arms still wrapped around me, he pulled back, his expression pinched. It was so easy to get lost in those beautiful seas of green, to swim in their depths. “It doesn’t matter, Belle. You don’t understand what I was going through. He had become so fucking violent. I had to see you. You’re the only one who’s ever cared about me. I knew I’d lose my mind if you weren’t at camp.”

I reached up to stroke his strong jaw. “He was hitting you, wasn’t he? That’s why you were so upset last year. That’s why you called me all the time, and talked about running away.”

Rather than answering, his eyes flickered beyond me, stoic and weary. It was all the confirmation I needed.

“Roman…”

I waited until his eyes returned to mine, then I pressed my lips against his warm mouth. This kiss lasted longer than our first, and meant so much more. It had been a long time coming. Thousands of miles and countless days had tried to keep us apart, but fate had brought us together again. I was all at once needy and desperate to make every second count.

A strangled growl vibrated in his throat as his mint-flavored tongue darted out for a taste of my bottom lip. My body exploded like the sky on Independence Day. It was nothing like the gross kiss with Benjamin, and I wanted more. So much more. But we were standing on a sidewalk and there were still campers coming in.

I took a step back and smiled bashfully. “Thank you.”

The smile I had waited almost an entire year to see again appeared when he twisted his fingers around mine. “For the kiss or for the money? Because one I plan on giving you again. The other…not so much.”

All at once feeling incredibly shy, I ducked my head against his chest and laughed.

My Roman was back.

* * *

As soon as I had changed into the camp shirt and shorts, making a few modifications to the collar so it was more like the style I wore around my friends in Vegas, I found Roman leaning against a tree outside my cabin with his arms crossed. I felt my insides turning to molten lava with the sight of him. The plain navy colored t-shirt with CAMP OSCINES written across his chest looked oddly out of place on his matured body, and I felt a sudden urge to yank it over his head.

“Hey, Roman!” Melanie greeted him at my side in a teasing voice.

His thick lips curled with a delicious smile as we neared closer. “Hey, Mel.”

She crossed her arms and tipped her chin at him. “So military camp, huh? Are we supposed to salute you now or something?”

He shrugged. “Nah, it wasn’t like that.” Then his eyes slid over to me. “Can we talk?”

I felt tingly all over with the way he was looking at me.

“I missed her too, you know,” Melanie teased.

He tossed her the kind of smooth wink that I knew one day would help to make him famous. “I’ll share her with you at sound off.”

“Fine,” she huffed, nudging me with her hip. “Just don’t come crying to me when you guys are making out in the woods and get eaten by bears.”

My cheeks burned hot, but Roman chuckled and replied, “Technically we wouldn’t be able to cry if the bears had eaten us.”

Melanie replied with a playful glare before bouncing away. Grinning, Roman slipped his hand over mine and led me back behind my cabin to the same spot where we had once lain together on my birthday.

“It’s a little early for stargazing,” I teased.

He turned his body to face mine, licking his lips and glancing down at his feet. When his eyes drew back up, they were serene and deadly serious. He had changed in so many ways that a part of me was nostalgic for the carefree boy I had first met. A much bigger part of me was eager to get to know the man he was becoming.

“I need to ask you something before I lose my nerve. It’s the same thing I tried to ask you last year when my fucking stutter kicked in.”

I slinked up against him, smirking. “I’m all ears.”

His demeanor quickly changed when he glanced down at the t-shirt I had cut a “v” into. Red blotches slowly appeared on his tanned cheeks. “Why are you dressed like that?”

“You were going to ask me that last year?” I snorted. “Weird.”

His eyebrows drew together. “You’ve changed.”

“So have you.”

Dropping my hand, he rubbed at his closely-shaved head. “I want you to be my girl.”

“I thought I already was your girl.”

“I mean my girlfriend.”

“Oh.” I took a step back, shaking my head. I enjoyed kissing him and wanted to do it as much as possible while at camp, but what would happen the other nine months out of the year? And what if we had an ugly fight and broke up? I thought I had lost him once already, and I was fairly certain that I wasn’t strong enough to go through that again. Without him, it was hard to see the point in going on through the mundane actions of life.

He was more than just a friend. He had become my entire world. I needed him to stay in my life or everything would come crashing down.

“Roman, I don’t know…”

“Isn’t that where this was always going?” He snatched my wrist and yanked me in close. “Please, Belle. Tell me you’ll be my girlfriend. You’re killing me.”

I was both scared and excited by the desperation in his voice, the way he clung to me. His wide eyes watered, on the verge of tears. He needed me as badly as I needed him—possibly more. His dad had broken him, and it was up to me to put the pieces back together.

The word he had been waiting for slipped from my lips so suddenly that I wasn’t sure I had said it.

“Okay.”

As I was rewarded with the sweetest of kisses, my stomach clenched with unease. I was terrified that by agreeing to be his, it was the beginning of the end of what we had. In so many ways, I was right.