chapter Twelve
Brothers Black
Toby
I feel for my brother. I’ve never seen Felix cry. He’s always the quiet one. If he’s in pain, he’s quiet about it. If he doesn’t like something, he’s quiet about it.
Losing his two friends, in a car accident, in a car he was supposed to be in, has gutted him. They all had planned to hang out tonight. Felix bailed on them at the last minute to come to Kwäzē’s party.
I know I speak for every one of my brothers, when I say I’m grateful to whatever made Felix change his mind. If he’d been in that car tonight. I would be the one losing my shit.
My chest is so tight. I’ve been pulling away from this, away from my core, my brothers. All my life, if one of us needed the other we’ve been there.
In my heart, I know if I told my brothers what’s going on with me, they’d be there for me like we’re all here for Felix now. It’s what we do. However, this isn’t the time to make this about me.
“I can’t believe this shit. I just talked to them. I was supposed to be there. If I was there, maybe they’d still be alive. Alberto has always been a show off in that fucking sports car,” Felix sobs.
“Dude, you can’t think like that. You weren’t there for a reason,” Noah says.
“I would have been driving if I’d gone with them,” Felix counters.
“Bro, you can’t beat yourself up about this,” John says, passing Felix another beer.
“You know something, I swear I think Danny felt like something like this was going to happen. He just asked me for a favor out of the blue. I laughed it off, but now, I think he knew,” Felix’s words trail off, as he wipes under his nose.
Ry wrinkles his brows. “What favor?”
“He asked me to look after Kaye. I thought it was crazy. You know,” Felix shrugs. “She and Alberto have been going strong and she had her big brother. Why would she need me to look after her?”
“Shit,” Brax breathes out. “Damn.”
“That just proves it wasn’t your time, Fel,” Ry says. “I know this is hard. Those guys were like brothers to you. I used to get so jealous when you would want to hang with them over me, but as I got older, I got it.
“You guys all have other friends, but you will always be my brothers. I would die without you guys. So, I can understand you hurting from losing your friends.”
The room falls silent as everyone looks at Ry. Shit, losing one of my brothers would be like death. Ry’s words hit hard. It dawns on me that Felix really could be dead with his friends.
“As long as there is breath in my body, I will never let a fucking thing happen to any of you,” Wyatt promises.
It doesn’t escape my notice that Wyatt’s looking in my direction. I know my brothers know something is going on with me. They’re just waiting for me to speak up. I look away from Wyatt.
My emotions are threatening to bubble over. I love Kamara. I would change the world to make sure she’s safe, but I would fucking die for every single man in this room, without question.
“Sometimes it seems like we’re floating apart. I just want you all to know, I love you. You’re my brothers. We can be as bad ass as we want to be, but we’re human. I’m going to say this shit while I still can. I love you all,” Felix says, with red eyes.
“That’s not even a question,” Noah says. “Any time one of you calls I’m going to come running. Death will have to go through me, before it greets one of my brothers.”
Noah, thumps his fist over his heart. It’s something he used to do when we were younger to show he took his words to heart. Again, my brother looks at me, as if he needs me to hear and understand his words.
Yeah, Noah and Wyatt are sending a message. I get it and that’s why I can’t drag them into this shit. They would put their lives on the line for me. I can’t ask that.
“We should get tats,” Braxton says, breaking the intense moment. “You all know those folklores mom’s always talking about. About finding each other in death and shit. Let’s get something that will allow us to find each other even in death.”
“That shit is morbid as fuck, but actually a cool idea,” Ry teases.
“I was thinking the same exact thing,” Wyatt laughs. “But why not?”
“We could get Black Brothers or something like that,” Brax says.
“I’m down,” I shrug.
All my brothers turn to look at me. I’ve been here, as silent support mostly, until now. Wyatt nods his approval. I get that feeling I used to get, when my older brothers showed they were proud of me.
“Whatever, let’s go,” Felix stands and wobbles a bit.
We all snicker, but we’ll get him there. I already know where I want to get my tat. Someplace I can see, as a reminder. I will always have my brothers.