When I arrive at the restaurant, I spot Helen sitting out on the patio in an impeccable straight-spine position. She waves gaily at me.
“I got us a table under an umbrella,” she says, indicating the giant blue and white thing blocking most of the late evening sun. “I know how sensitive your pale skin is. Are you still wearing sunscreen every day?”
“I am,” I say, wrapping my arms around her. “Thank you.”
I’m enveloped in her usual flowery sent. Her belly bumps mine. Could Helen really be pregnant again?
“Another one on the way!” she proclaims gleefully, with a pat on her slightly bulging belly. “Baby number four. We’re hoping for a boy this time. That’s partly why I wanted to meet you. I figured telling you on the phone isn’t the best way. I already told Dad and he’s thrilled.”
“I bet he is,” I say. “We all are! Congratulations!”
She places her perfectly manicured hands on the table.
“Of course, Ron is as supportive as ever,” she says. “He joked about having to work an extra hour every day at the office to support us all, but he’s just teasing. He loves having a big family.”
I force my face into a smile.
“You must be Wonder Woman. How the hell do you do it all?” I ask.
“It’s not easy,” she replies. “I don’t sleep is the honest answer. Or not much or enough. Between looking after Ron, the kids and running my monogrammed chocolate business it doesn’t leave a lot of extra time.”
“Sometimes I wonder how a successful woman like you is even related to me,” I say, only half-joking.
Her look turns serious.
“Surely you don’t mean that? You’re highly successful and smart. Look at how you’ve helped the company to grow and expand. Dad would be completely lost without you.”
I shake my head at her.
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is,” she argues. “He might not say it because that’s Dad. He’s proud of you and always tells me how well you’re doing when we talk on the phone.”
“Really?” I say, shocked. “I can assure you he never says anything like that to me. If anything, he criticizes just about everything I try to do.”
“So, how are you doing?” Helen asks, although she can probably see the answer all over my glum face.
“I’m fine,” I say. “The racing team sponsorship has brought in a ton of press coverage and publicity for the company. We’re continuing to grow like crazy. It’s been a bit of a job juggling everything, but so far so good.”
“That’s great,” Helen says, taking both my hands in hers. “I watched your fashion show while I was making chocolates. It was sublime.”
“Thanks,” I say, smiling genuinely this time.
No one gives compliments how my sister does.
“And how is your little furball doing?” she continues.
“Alice is doing good, thanks.”
“So no Mr. Special in your life yet?” Helen says, although she knows full well that I would’ve mentioned that by now if there were.
Here we go with the real questions.
“No,” I say with forced cheerfulness. “Not yet. I’m sure he’ll come along one day when I’m least expecting it. Until then I have my job and Alice to keep me busy.”
As if we both don’t expect me to end up like one of those crazy cat ladies who have thirty cats and no friends.
“I’m sure he will,” she says, catching me by surprise. “You’re staying in town another day before flying home, right?”
I eye her uneasily.
“Yes, how did you know that?”
“Dad told me,” she answers. “You seem a little down in the dumps. I know just the thing to cheer you up.”
Now I have a real reason to be concerned.
Helen’s “just the thing” has generally turned out to be less than promised.
The bridesmaid dress she had specially made for me for her wedding? Two sizes too small.
The yoga class she bullied me into joining because I needed to work out more? Left me with searing pain in my shins for weeks.
Although my sister means well, she doesn’t get that we’re not all as talented and skinny as she is.
“Why don’t you meet me and the girls at the Indianapolis Zoo tomorrow for a fun outing?” she asks. “They would love to see their Aunt Summer. They miss you. We were going anyway and would love for you to tag along. An evening out with the kids might do you good.”
Okay, this is a surprise and not at all what I was expecting. I’ve misjudged her intentions and feel terribly guilty.
I smile back at her.
“I miss them too. You should bring them out to Vegas this summer. We could spend a week together and do all the touristy things.”
She gives me a doubtful look.
“There are kid-friendly things to do in Vegas?” she asks.
“Good point,” I say. “We can’t teach them how to gamble yet. We could drive down to Los Angeles and take them to Disneyland for a weekend. It’s not that far to drive. It would be fun!”
“I’ll think about it. It’s all according to how my pregnancy is coming along.”
I nod in understanding.
“Is that a yes for the zoo, then?” she asks.
“Sure, it sounds like fun. Why not?”
Helen claps her hands together.
“It’s a date, then,” she says with more excitement than I would’ve expected. “I’m so glad you agreed to come with us.”
We finish our dinner while trying to avoid the delicate topics of Dad, Mom and my love life. This doesn’t leave much to talk about except her life. I’m happy and relieved to let her do all the talking.
After insisting on paying the bill, Helen rises and touches a soft hand to my shoulder.
“This was nice. We should get together more often. You’re a special person, Summer. I want my kids to grow up knowing you as more than a Christmas only visitor.”
“That’s why we’re going to the zoo tomorrow,” I say, trying to keep the mood light.
She nods.
“Right.”
Leaning down, she kisses me on the cheek.
“I love you. See you later.”
“Love you too,” I say. “I’ll be there. Tell the girls I can’t wait to see them.”
Before I make it to my car, I receive a text from her.
“Meet us at the entrance at six pm. I forgot to tell you the time. The zoo will be open late.”
I smile down at my phone. Tomorrow sounds like fun and God knows I could use some.
***
The next morning, I don’t leave the hotel and instead spend the entire day cooped up in my room working.
Traveling back and forth to the car races takes up more time than I would’ve ever dreamed. I feel like I’ve been living on airplanes and in hotel rooms.
Between the flights to various cities from Las Vegas and the time spent at the track, it was beginning to cut into my other work responsibilities.
The last thing I need is for Dad to think I’m shirking my work duties to run around having a grand old time with Johnny.
At noon, I call up Cecelia, my neighbor back in Vegas who agreed to check in on Alice in my absence. Over the phone, she coos about how happy Alice is and how good Alice has been.
Which basically means that she is pooping in a few inappropriate places and spending the nights meowing piteously for me.
That’s Cecelia for you.
It’s not that she white-washes the dark truth, it’s that she literally doesn’t see it.
The first time she met Alice, the terrified cat hissed and then bolted under the bed. Cecelia had cheerfully declared that Alice was an affectionate cat who was just shy.
I’m lucky to have a devoted cat lover as a next-door neighbor.
After talking to her and grabbing a sandwich from the café in the hotel’s lobby, I decide to take a break from work to clear my head
I do a few laps in the heated indoor pool, grateful that I’d remembered to throw my white two-piece bathing suit into my luggage at the last minute.
After a few more hours of working and making phone calls in my dimly-lit room, I’m ready to escape outside and go to the zoo. I dress quickly in jeans and a t-shirt, then head out the door and call a cab.
At the front entrance of the zoo, I wait, impatiently scanning the crowd. Most people are leaving, not going into the zoo this late in the evening. I hope Helen is right about the zoo staying open later.
I glance at my phone again to see if Helen has left me a text message. She’s always right on time or ten minutes early so it’s not like her to be running late. Hopefully nothing has happened with one of the girls.
“Nice jeans,” a familiar voice says from behind me.
I whirl around and stare at him.
“Oh no. No way. I’m waiting for someone.”
Johnny gives me a devilish grin and jabs a finger at his chest.
“I know. Surprise, it’s me.”
You’ve got to be kidding me.
For a good half a minute at least, I stare uncomprehendingly at Johnny.
“Come on,” he says, “Your sister must’ve told you, right? That you were meeting someone tall, dark, and definitely handsome?”
My lips compress into an understanding line.
“Did you say my sister? What does she have to do with anything? I’m meeting her and my nieces here any minute. In fact, they’re a little late and I’m starting to get concerned.”
He’s still grinning.
“You haven’t figured this out yet? I’m surprised, Summer. I thought you were sharper than that.”
The truth hits me.
I’m not meeting Helen and the girls here. She set me up. Somehow, some way, Johnny got to her. How the hell he managed to convince my honest, always-tell-the-truth sister to lie to me is incredible.
“You went through my sister to trick me?” I say incredulously.
A hint of guilt crosses his face.
“I’ll admit it was a tiny bit deceitful,” he says. “Just for the record it was Helen’s idea, not mine.”
“You’re on first name basis with my sister now?”
Helen is never overly impressed with anyone and yet Johnny managed to woo her over to his side. I can’t imagine how their conversation went.
“Ah…come one. What else was I supposed to do? You weren’t returning my calls. You didn’t even speak to me at the track yesterday or call me to wish me luck. Frankly, you’re a damn difficult woman to try to date, Summer. You don’t make things easy.”
I say nothing, scanning his face angrily. I’m not sure if I’m feeling furious because they both tricked me, or because I’m exasperated with the situation.
“Is your silence a good silence or a bad silence?” Johnny asks. “You can be hard to read.”
“What do you think?”
Johnny visibly gulps, which pleases me a little.
“I think,” he says, valiantly holding out an arm, “that this is nothing that a good stroll through a zoo can’t fix.”
“You actually want to go into the zoo?” I ask slowly, refusing to even acknowledge that his arm is clearly held out for me to take. “I thought that was part of my sister’s devious plan to trick me.”
“I love the zoo! Don’t you? When is the last time you’ve visited a zoo? Be honest.”
“When I was in fifth grade,” I reply. “How about you?”
“Eighth grade field trip. I don’t remember much because I had a crush on a girl with pigtails who sat across from me on the school bus. All I remember is that I was in heaven that day. She even shared cookies out of her lunchbox with me. Peanut butter cookies with fork marks where her mom had squished them down.”
“I can’t believe you remember that. Was she your last serious girlfriend?”
“Indeed, it was. Louise broke my heart when she said she wouldn’t ‘go with me.’ I was too shy to ask her myself, so I sent a friend to ask instead. I gave up on women after that. Until I spotted a redheaded woman in a tight white dress one day at the Daytona race track. Apparently she won’t ‘go with me’ either. All I do is strike out it seems.”
I smile, although I know I shouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
“Okay, let’s go inside then. Since we’re already here.”
As we walk along, the beaming grin on Johnny’s suntanned face is both endearing and infuriating. He reaches over and casually drapes an arm around my waist and pulls me closer.
“Did I mention how much I love you in a tight pair of jeans? You have a beautiful ass. You should show it off more.”
“I thought men liked dresses?”
“We do. We also love tight pants too when our lady has an ass like yours.”
Johnny pauses to give me a full once-over, then gives a reflective chuckle.
“I like both,” he says. “You can’t go wrong either way. Dresses show off your curves and shapely legs. Jeans show off your ass.”
He reaches over to twine a finger in my hair and I grab his hand. We struggle for a minute before Johnny wrenches my hand to his lips so he can give it a little kiss. Sighing, I let my other arm flop down.
“Just so you know,” Johnny says as we start walking again, heading toward the flamingo exhibit, “if you want to touch me, you don’t need to do silly things like grab my arm as we’re walking along. Or ask for permission first. You just can do it.”
“Good to know,” I say, “kind of the same for me except the opposite. If you want to touch me and you’re not sure if I’ll be okay with it, just don’t.”
That came out much bitchier than I intended. It was supposed to be a joke, instead of a snarky comment.
“You’re an evil ginger,” he says. “I always knew that about redheads.”
“Yeah, and don’t you forget it either,” I say.
We begin our tour of the zoo and before I realize it, I’m having fun. Most of the old-style animal enclosures and cages that I remembered as a kid have been replaced by large, more natural open areas for the animals.
Most of the crowds have already left the zoo for the day and at times it feels like we’re the only ones here. When Johnny takes my hand in his and interlaces our fingers, I don’t put up a fuss or pull away.
He’s wearing dark sunglasses and a baseball cap pulled down low to help disguise him from any fans that might spot us.
By the time we visit the orangutan exhibit, my anger has been completely replaced by an overpowering delight.
“Look at that,” he says, pointing to a mother orangutan and her baby. “She’s dragging him around like a stressed-out mom at the mall trying to do her Christmas shopping.”
Sure enough, the mom has the baby’s wrist in her hand and is tugging him along behind her with him trying his best to get free.
“I’m glad the zoos have changed over the years,” I say. “The reason I haven’t visited one since my childhood was because it made me sad to see the animals held in barren cages. I remember seeing a gorilla who would beat on the glass whenever he saw visitors.”
“When you’re in a cage, your greatest instinct is nothing more than to rattle the bars. To shock or surprise the people behind the rude stares.”
I glance over at him. For a moment there, it seemed like Johnny was referring to himself in a strange way. As if, being a celebrity was almost like being an animal in a cage, expected to perform a specific function for the audience.
Further on, after we’ve devoured a couple of messy, leaking ice cream cones, we spend a few minutes hopelessly searching an area for the rhinos. It takes us a good ten minutes, before Johnny finally cracks up and points.
“Look at the rocks.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I glance at him to see if he’s messing with me. Slinging his arm around my shoulder, he angles my face toward a grey rhino-shaped rock.
“The rocks,” he repeats. “The rocks are the rhinos.”
Squinting, it dawns on me that the grey rock has a face. Wait a sec! That rock doesn’t look like a rhino. It is a rhino.
Giggling, I scan the other rocks and see that a few of them are rhinos too.
“Rhinos, the new chameleons,” Johnny declares, squeezing my shoulder for emphasis. “They can hide in plain sight and nobody will see them.”
I can feel him beside me, waiting for me to turn and look up at him. When I do, we’ll both be thinking the same thing. Of how his lips on mine would feel.
Instead, I make my way over to the elephants. I don’t want to repeat past mistakes. As charming as it is that Johnny went out of his way to see me, it doesn’t change anything.
He considers me to be only a pleasant distraction. Not someone to be taken seriously. He’s just in it for the chase, like I first thought. And this is all part of it.
“I think if you were an animal, you’d be an elephant,” he says after we’ve been watching them for a full five minutes.
I tilt my head at him.
“Thanks, I think.”
Linking his arm in mine, he assures me, “It was a compliment. Elephants are smart and playful.” His hand snakes down to pinch my ass and I slap him hard on the arm. “And they’re motherfuckers if you piss them off.”
Despite the inappropriate groping, I can’t help but giggle at that one.
“They really are smart,” I say. “They can communicate long distances with each other by picking up vibrations through their feet.”
“Sounds reasonable to me,” Johnny says with a sort of grimaced shrug. “If I feel the vibrations of you stomping around like you sometimes do, I’ll know you’re mad.”
“They’re protective of family too,” I say. “Vengeful even, if someone or something harms their family. Like they say, elephants never forget.”
“If anyone screwed with my brother there would be some major bitch slapping going down too.”
“You never really told me anything about your brother,” I say.
Johnny’s gaze is affectionately resting on a big sunbathing elephant.
“You haven’t told me much about your sister either, although I found out a bit when I called her up myself.”
My mouth becomes a thin line.
“I’m sure you did.”
“How about this,” Johnny says. “We’ll trade. You tell me about your sibling, and I’ll tell you about mine.”
I glance over at him.
“What you want to know?”
“Why don’t you like her?” Johnny asks simply. “She seems very nice. After all, she went out of her way to help me out.”
I frown at him. I’ve never told him I don’t like Helen. My feelings are much more complicated than that.
“Can’t you go first?” I ask, giving him my most convincing look.
Back in elementary school, my friends and I used to have a puppy dog face competition. Each of us would put on the most convincing, pleading puppy eyes. I won every time.
“Okay, okay,” Johnny caves, completely won over. “I like my brother for many reasons. First of all, he’s less of a jerk than me. More caring, and completely different. He always saw the best in me even when no one else did.”
“He sounds like someone I would enjoy meeting.”
“Okay, your turn,” Johnny says, grinning at me pointedly.
I sigh. If I’m going to have to do this, I might as well make it quick. I pull Johnny toward the aquarium.
“I will, let’s check out the fish first.”
“Okay,” Johnny says with an agreeable laugh. “Don’t think you’re getting out of it that easily though.”
No sooner have we entered the almost empty aquarium and sat down, when Johnny turns to me.
“About your sister…”
I sigh. Clearly Johnny is not going to let this one go.
“Alright,” I say. “I’ll tell you if you’ll promise to hush about it.”
I gaze up to the ceiling, which is part of the giant tank we’re in the belly of. Surrounded on three sides by deep blue water and slowly swimming fish.
“Helen’s always been great,” I tell him. “Maybe that’s the problem. She’s good at everything and I’m not.” I throw up my hands. “Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m a tiny bit jealous of her and always have been. She’s Dad’s favorite, whereas he always seems disappointed in me.”
“You’re jealous of her?” Johnny asks.
“Yes,” I say a bit defensively. “Is that so hard to believe?”
Johnny dips his head to the side, so that it’s resting partially on mine.
“I don’t know, I guess not. I just figured if I was a smoking hot redhead, I’d be pleased as punch with myself. And certainly not jealous of my sister who has a hundred and fifty kids with another one on the way.”
Despite his crude comparison, I smile.
“She told you about them?”
“Oh yeah,” Johnny says, wriggling his eyebrows for emphasis. “All about the kids. At least for a solid fifteen minutes until I made up an excuse to get off the phone. I told her I’d stubbed my toe on the door and needed to get a bandage before I bled to death. Other than the first five seconds, she didn’t mention you for the rest of the time, except to say that you’d probably be thrilled to go to the zoo.”
I laugh out loud at the thought of Johnny trying to get off the phone with Helen. It’s not an easy task.
His head still resting on mine, Johnny turns, so that his blue eyes are boring into the side of my face.
“Stop staring,” I say, twisting my head away.
“Okay,” Johnny agrees, twisting his head back so it’s only resting on mine but looking ahead. “I’m still trying to figure you out though.”
“I guess some things will just have to remain a mystery,” I say softly.
Like how happy and comfortable I’m feeling right now.
Johnny’s hand is holding mine, the side of his head is leaning on mine, and I know, with every sensible fiber in my being, that I should get up right now and leave.
Leave and never look back to protect myself from heartbreak later down the road.
And yet, I can’t.
It’s as simple and as difficult as that. The more time I spend with Johnny, the more I want him. As bad as he is for me, as little as he probably actually cares for me as a person, I want him.
“I’m glad that you agreed to our zoo date today,” he says.
“Uh, excuse me,” I say, turning to give him a pointed smile.
He waves his hands.
“All right, okay, I’m glad that you didn’t run away screaming. I’m sorry things were weird at the race. I wanted to sweep you up in my arms and twirl you around. To hold up your hair and nuzzle the soft spot in your neck. But halfway there, Steele called me over and I realized that if I did all that, it would piss you off, shock the fans, and really just fuck everything up for everyone.”
At Johnny’s revelation, I press my lips together.
Is he telling the truth?
That would explain why he was so awkward when we saw each other. He hadn’t been avoiding me, he’d been unsure of what to do.
“I guess I should’ve waved,” Johnny muses on, almost as if I’m not there beside him. “You didn’t wave either. I thought maybe you just wanted me to go away and stop staring at you like a crazy person. And then sometimes when I’m with you, I feel like that same little boy in eighth grade on the school bus, not knowing what to say and rambling on ridiculously like I’m doing now….”
I turn and kiss him full on the lips.
The shock and thrill of the unexpected motion, as much to me as to him, races through both of us.
We jump at the creak of a door opening. We separate, smiling shyly at each other like naughty teenagers. That’s what I feel like right now, too.
The family that walked in are lingering, gazing at the marine life in the tanks around us. Beside me, Johnny’s whole body is tense.
“What you want to do?” he suddenly whispers in a strained voice.
“Do you want an honest answer?” I joke.
He smiles and squeezes my hand tighter.
“My place or yours?” I ask. “Let’s get out of here.”
He jumps up and pulls me up too.
“I thought you would never ask,” he says.
We’re both laughing as we jog down the pathway leading back to the entrance.
“No running!” a uniformed zoo employee yells at us in a stern voice.
The older volunteer is carefully sweeping up debris with a long-handled broom.
I grab onto Johnny’s arm.
“Slow down or she’ll come after us with that broom,” I say.
We casually stroll along the walkway until we’re out of her sight. Suddenly Johnny stops in the middle of the path and pulls me close to him. Placing his hands on both sides of my face, he kisses me long and slow.
One of those toe-curling, panty-dropping kisses that can melt you from the inside out.
We’re both breathless when he finally pulls away.
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist,” he says.
I blink at him to clear my blurry vision.
“No apology needed. Unless that’s the only one of those kisses I’ll ever get.”
“Plenty more where that one came from. Are you up to a little more speed-walking. Damn! I didn’t realize the zoo was this big when we came in. What did they do? Build an expansion while we were in the aquarium?”
“I can see the entrance. Don’t give up now. We’re almost there.”
“Thank God! Whose bright idea was it to come to the zoo?”
“Not mine,” I reply.
“You got me there.”
Finally, we push through the exit turnstiles and are outside the zoo gates.
“Oh crap! Did you drive a rental car?” he asks me.
“No, I took a cab. What about you?”
“Same here. The rental car company was all out of red sports cars and I wasn’t sure if you’d show up. While I call us a cab, you make the decision. My hotel or your hotel? Frankly, my vote is for your hotel because there’s not much privacy at my hotel.”
“Hotel? Where’s your trailer?”
“I didn’t have my driver bring it this time. I’m regretting it now too. The boys all hang out in my hotel room like it’s party central with an open-door policy.”
“My hotel it is then,” I say.
We sit on a bench outside the zoo holding hands like an old married couple while waiting on our cab. When it arrives, we pile into the backseat and I give the driver the name of the hotel.
The driver keeps a steady ramble of idle conversation going as he takes us through the city streets.
“It’s a good thing we weren’t driving this route yesterday,” he says. “Traffic was a nightmare due to the race. I’m glad I didn’t have to work so that I could stay home and out of that mess.”
“Are you a racing fan?” Johnny asks.
I elbow him and try not to giggle. The cab driver clearly doesn’t have a clue who he has in the backseat.
“Nah…not me,” the cab driver says. “There’s not much talent involved in driving cars around in a circle. Soccer is more my sport. How about you?”
Johnny smiles and nods, not giving anything away.
“I like soccer too, especially watching the World Cup,” he says.
They spend the next ten minutes talking about soccer teams. Surprisingly, Johnny knows enough about the sport to at least carry on a conversation.
When we reach the hotel, Johnny gives the man a generous tip and sends him on his way.
He takes my arm and leads me into the hotel.
“Did you like how I handled that? He didn’t have a clue who we were. Our secret love affair is still a secret.”
The elevator doors slide open and we step inside.
“Is that what this is?” I ask. “A secret love affair?”
“It could be a very public one as far as I’m concerned,” he replies.
He doesn’t wait for the doors to completely close, before backing me up against the wall of the elevator and grabbing me in another passionate kiss. When the elevator doesn’t move, he breaks away.
“Did you hit the button for your floor?” he asks.
“No,” I say with a laugh. “You distracted me. I forgot. It’s eleven.”
“Damn woman! We’re never going to get to your room at this rate. Pay attention, would you?”
Laughter bubbles up out of me.
The fast elevator slides up the floors quickly and then opens on my hallway.
Johnny takes my hand as we step out.
“Lead the way,” he says.
We reach my hotel door and I try to electronic key. It doesn’t work. I turn one way and then the other without success.
“Jesus Christ! We’re doomed,” he says, taking the key from me. “Here let me try. You’re never going to get this fucking door open.”
He opens the door in one try and swings it open.
“Would you like a glass of…” I start to say.
Johnny doesn’t give me time to finish the sentence. He picks me up with both arms, swings me off my feet and carries me to the bed.
“I don’t want anything but you,” he says. “Just you.”