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Buttons and Blame by Penelope Sky (8)

8

Adelina

I only had a few days left.

In a few days, all of this beauty would be gone. I wouldn’t have a strong man to keep me warm in the middle of the night. All of my rights would be stripped away from me. I would be naked, cold, hungry, and afraid. My ankle would be cuffed at all times so I couldn’t run away when Tristan walked inside.

I’d have to stare at Tristan’s ugly face again.

A face I’d tried so hard to forget.

I knew I would have to go back since the beginning of my stay. My departure wasn’t a surprise. It certainly didn’t sneak up on me. Time went by fast, but I didn’t struggle to judge the passing.

I just didn’t think it would be this difficult.

I wanted to stay here forever.

Cane wasn’t the perfect guy, but he showed me the light when I was in a pit of darkness. He showed kindness when he easily could have been cruel. That was the true definition of someone’s character—when they could be evil but chose not to. Cane had blood on his hands and he was a criminal, but to me, he was innately good.

I would miss him as much as my own family.

It was hard to sleep that night. All I could think about was the time I had left. The second I was back in Tristan’s captivity, I’d be punched in the face. That was probably how he would greet me. He wouldn’t see a single mark on my body, and he would see the weight I’d gained. He would see how well I was treated and work twice as hard to make me feel worse.

I knew him so well.

My heart was beating so fast in my chest. It wouldn’t slow down. Sweat covered my palms and my neck. The anxiety took over, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was panicking in terror.

Panicking over the short time I had left.

I sat up in bed and kicked the sheets away. Cane was dead asleep beside me, naked and muscular. Even in sleep, he was hard as a rock. I dangled my feet over the edge and let the air evaporate the sweat off the back of my neck. All I could do was concentrate on my breathing, so that’s what I did.

I did my best to calm myself.

Cane must have heard me because he sat up a moment later. Bellissima?”

It was my favorite nickname, my favorite way to be addressed. That was what I would miss the most. It was so tender and gentle, a complete contrast to the harsh way I was treated in Tristan’s captivity.

“What is it?” He scooted across the bed until he was directly behind me. His lips moved to the back of my shoulder, and he gave me light kisses everywhere, cherishing me.

“I just…had a bad dream.”

“Want to talk about it?”

I pulled my knees to my chest and circled them with my arms. “No.”

He opened his legs on either side of me and sat directly behind me, his arms locking around my waist. “I’m here to listen if you change your mind.”

I continued to breathe erratically, my heart racing a million miles an hour. I was still warm and sweaty. I did my best to hide my anxiety, but there was no way he couldn’t feel it as he held me against him.

“Bellissima?”

“Hmm?”

“Talk to me. You’ll feel better.”

“I just… I’m scared.”

He rested his face against the back of my neck.

“I don’t want to go. After being here for a month, it makes me understand just how terrible it really is. You’ve been so good to me, have become such a friend to me. I’ll miss you…”

He took a deep breath. “I’ll miss you too.”

“I only have a few days left… Time went by so quickly.”

“It did.”

“I’m trying to stay calm, but I can’t. I feel like I can’t breathe.”

“You know what I do when I’m scared?”

“I thought you said you’re never scared?”

“Well, I lied,” he whispered. “I just think about something else, something that makes me happy or makes me laugh. When I think about it long enough, I stop thinking about the thing that makes me upset.”

“When was the last time you did this?”

“When I nearly killed Pearl… Crow wouldn’t speak to me. I thought I’d lost my brother forever. The idea of not having him in my life anymore hurt so much. It would make me panic. It would make me lose sleep. So I just tried to think about something else, something positive. It usually got me through the night.”

I nodded.

“You like working at the winery, right?”

“Yeah…”

“What do you like about working there?”

“The view,” I said. “It’s so beautiful all the time. The grape leaves smell so good. I love the wine, I love the people. It’s a great atmosphere. And the cheese… I could eat the cheese all day.”

“What else?”

I told him about this old couple that had come to Italy now that they were retired. They put their kids through college and decided to spend something on themselves for once. They did the wine tasting and bought five bottles before they left.

“That sounds nice.”

“Yeah…”

He pulled me against his chest and turned my face toward him. He rubbed his nose against mine before he gave me a gentle kiss on the lips.

Just like that, my troubles melted away like soft butter. I didn’t think about my doom, my hour of death. I didn’t think about how the final minutes of my life would be. I didn’t think about the way Tristan would hurt me.

I just thought about Cane.


We’d finished an afternoon wine tasting, and now Pearl and I were cleaning up. We didn’t speak to each other much because we were busy attending to the tables inside the warehouse. Most of the customers asked us what it was like to live in such a beautiful place. Pearl had better responses than I did. I’d only been there for about a month and had done limited sight-seeing.

But I was grateful I got to do any sight-seeing at all—thanks to Cane.

Pearl corked the leftover wine and put the bottles in the fridge.

I wondered what her life would be like after I was gone. Would she keep working here? Would she have a family to raise? “Pearl?”

“Yeah, honey?” She scooped up the leftover wineglasses on the counter and set them in the sink.

I approached the bar and leaned the broom against the counter. “Are you and Crow going to have kids anytime soon?”

“Soon?” she asked. “No. Definitely not soon.”

“But you guys are going to have them someday?”

She rinsed the glasses with soap and water, her eyes on her hands. “I would like to. Crow is open to the idea but not in love with it.”

“He’s not a family kind of guy?” I’d always wanted a family of my own. I wanted to have three children. I didn’t care if they were girls or boys, as long as they were healthy. I wanted to have a house near the ocean so I could take my kids to the beach every day.

“He doesn’t think he is. But he definitely is.” She set the glasses on the counter beside her and dried them with the towel. “He and Cane are so close, and he’s never gotten over losing Vanessa.”

“Who’s Vanessa?”

“Their sister.” She eyed me as she gently cleaned the glass. “You don’t know about Vanessa?”

“I think Cane mentioned her once…”

“Well…the man that took me captive…he’s the one who killed her. He kept her as a prisoner, and before Cane and Crow could rescue her, he shot her. Both of them have never really gotten over it.”

My heart broke for the woman I never knew, for the woman who shared the same fate I was about to accept. Cane possessed a particular darkness that had nothing to do with his criminal preferences.

He was heartbroken.

“I’m surprised he never told you that,” she whispered.

Since I was in the same position, he probably didn’t want to scare me, to remind of the fate I was about to experience. “He and I don’t do a lot of talking…” It was mostly kissing and touching, among other things.

She dried the last glass before she put it off to the side. “Adelina, can I ask you something?”

She was my only friend in the world. She could ask me anything. “Of course.”

“Are you in love with him?” She looked me square in the eye, watching even the slightest reaction I made.

The question took me by surprise. I thought she would ask me about going back to Tristan, about how I felt about it. I didn’t think Cane was on her mind. I was fond of Cane and really cared about him, but the thought of love never crossed my mind. “Uh…I don’t think so. I mean, I love being with him. He’s a sweet man. He only pretends to be rough and cruel, but he’s soft on the inside. When I’m with him, I’m happy. But falling in love in my position just isn’t possible.”

“Why?”

“Because our relationship is so short. In two days, I’m going back to Tristan.”

Pearl kept staring at me, like she expected me to say something else.

“Why are you asking me this?”

She shrugged. “Sometimes I wonder if he’s in love with you.”

Cane had been nothing but good to me since I arrived here, but I didn’t think he was capable of feeling anything more extensive. He said he was going to return me to Tristan. If he really loved me, he wouldn’t do that. “He’s not.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“I just am. We have a connection now, a bond. I know he’ll miss me when I’m gone. I’ll miss him too. But love isn’t something that’s possible. I don’t think I could ever fall in love with a man under these conditions. It’s not how I pictured romance.”

“I didn’t picture meeting my husband the way I did, but I wouldn’t change anything.”

“I didn’t mean anything offensive by that…”

“I know,” she said quietly. “I’ve just never seen Cane act this way with anyone.”

“Well, he does pity me…”

“And he doesn’t pity anyone.”

“He has more of a heart than he lets on. He’s been nothing but good to me since I arrived. He’s never made me do anything I didn’t want to do. He’s given me as much freedom as he could within four walls. He’s kind to me…makes me happy. He’s been a real blessing. He’s helped me believe that there are good people…that there’s hope for everyone.”

Her eyes fell in sadness. “I’m so sorry, Adelina…”

“I know you are, Pearl. But don’t feel bad. There’s nothing you guys can do. I understand that, so please don’t feel guilty.”

“I don’t feel guilty,” she said. “I just feel heartbroken. This shouldn’t happen to you, to me, to anyone. Men shouldn’t be allowed to look at us as property, as things that can just be taken. They shouldn’t have this kind of power, to own us just because we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I hate it so much, Adelina…you don’t even know.”

I heard the pain in her voice, the memories that still haunted her. She’d suffered much longer than I had. I’d only been Tristan’s plaything for a week before Cane came around. From what I understood, she was subjected to Bones’s torment for months before she escaped. There were thousands of women all over the world who had to suffer in the exact same way. It was innately wrong, a crime against humanity. “I know.”


Cane wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed me into his chest, his back against the headboard and his eyes dark in heated intensity. He pressed his forehead to mine and guided me up and down his length. We were both sheathed in arousal, our bodies wet with slickness. He moved deep inside me slowly, with purposeful gentleness that felt good. It’d been weeks since we screwed like animals. Now every time he was inside me, it was deep and slow, full of passion without violence.

When he was inside me like this, I didn’t think about the limited time I had left. I only thought about those dark eyes as they bored into mine. I only thought about those soft lips, that hard jaw, and the way his hair curled when I ran my fingers through it.

My legs had been forced apart, and my virginity had been taken away from me. It was cruel and painful. Being with Cane was completely different, like I’d been given a second chance to enjoy something that nearly broke me. He taught me it could feel good, that even if he was big, it didn’t hurt. He made me crave it when we were apart all day. He made me want it in the middle of the night. He made me want something I once despised.

“Bellissima…” He took a deep breath as he squeezed my ass cheeks. He kneaded my ass with his fingertips, digging into the muscle. His cock continued to stretch me wide apart with every thrust, his length digging in deep inside me. “You torture me when you look like that.”

“Like what?”

“I call you Bellissima for a reason.” He pressed his face between my breasts and licked me, spreading kisses across my warm skin. He sucked my nipples into his mouth while he kept moving me down his length over and over. His hands glided up my full hips, and he kissed my neck, his warm breaths falling across my skin.

I tilted my head back and rode him a little harder. “I’m gonna come…”

He nibbled my neck, being more aggressive than before. He pulled me down his length harder, pushing through my tightness and sheathing himself in my soaking arousal. His hand moved between my legs, and he rubbed my clit aggressively.

Like I needed any extra stimulation.

I knew he needed me to come as quickly as possible because he couldn’t contain his excitement any longer. He was about to burst, filling me with all of his seed.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on to him as I came, pushing down his length harder and deeper. I screamed in his ear, but he didn’t turn away. Moisture pooled between my legs and soaked his length. My entire body enjoyed him, soaring up high into the sky as I reached heaven and above.

“Bellissima…” He grunted as he came, filling me with all of his desire. He moaned against my ear as he enjoyed the same pleasure I’d just experienced. He gripped me harder even though I wasn’t about to slip away. His fingers dug into me, and his chest was slick with sweat.

I buried my face in his neck as I caught my breath, my body tightening and relaxing at the same time. My eyes closed, and I clung to him, feeling the only form of happiness I would ever know. When it was just the two of us, I didn’t think about what lay ahead. I only thought about the quiet peace that existed between us.

Cane pulled away and looked me in the eye. He wore that tender expression he didn’t show often. It was gentle, showing the soft man underneath all that hardness. He kissed the corner of my mouth before he rolled me to the bed.

We lay together, covered in sweat and warmth. His arm was still around me, his gloriously hard body rising and falling with the deep breaths he took. His large hand gently squeezed my waist, the area where most of my new pounds had settled.

I noticed how much my body was changing from sitting around and eating amazing food all day long, but Cane didn’t seem to mind. The heavier I was, the more he wanted me. It was every woman’s dream come true.

He rested his face in my neck and held me close, his body keeping mine warm once our bodies returned to a state of calm. His powerful muscles acted as a personal heater for both of us to enjoy.

I couldn’t believe I only had a day left.

Just one day.

Cane pulled his head away from my neck and rested his face near mine. He looked me in the eye as his fingers grazed against my cheek. He tucked my hair behind my ear, his jaw tightening as he looked at me.

Even his features were dark. He was tall, dark, and handsome, and he exuded danger. If I’d met him somewhere at night, I’d be afraid. Even now, he was still a little scary. But underneath that hard surface, he was a man with a heart as big as mine. He was a gentle giant, a friendly monster.

A dark angel.

He sighed as he looked at me, his thoughts resting on the surface of his eyes.

This hurt him as much as it hurt me.

“Thank you for being so good to me,” I whispered. “I’ve had the time of my life here.”

“Don’t thank me.”

“But you deserve to be thanked.”

“No. Don’t act like you’re leaving. We still have time. Let’s not waste it.”