Chapter Twelve
“Skye. Wait.”
She heard Adam calling her name and his footsteps as he hurried to catch up with her. She considered the option to just keep walking, but she’d been raised with better manners than that, so she stopped, letting out a sigh as her head and shoulders slumped forward.
This had been a stupid idea. She’d been a fool to sneak out to Adam’s cabin in the middle of the night.
But she couldn’t help it. She’d hated the way he’d left the dance, and she hadn’t been able to get him out of her mind as she’d been lying in bed, trying to sleep. She’d finally given up, decided to take a walk, and her feet had led her to his door.
The lights had been on, and, as if her body had a mind of its own, her hand had reached up and rapped softly on the door.
Relief had flooded her when he hadn’t answered, and she’d tried to flee back to the lodge. He would never have to know that she had even been there.
Or at least that’s what she’d thought as she’d snuck away. Until he called her name.
“Hey, wait up,” he said, catching his breath from jogging after her. He was barefoot, and the gravel had to be digging into his feet. All he wore was a pair of black shorts, and she tried to focus, her attention distracted by his lean, muscled chest.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” It was the only thing she could think of to say. She’d had seventeen other ideas rehearsed—all perfectly executed passages that would end with him inviting her in and accepting her lame apologies by taking her in his arms and then into his bed.
Okay, they hadn’t all ended that way. But most of them had.
She’d been a mess all day—one minute giddy over the amazing night they’d spent together, the next chiding herself for getting involved in something she knew would never work.
“You didn’t wake me. I couldn’t sleep,” Adam said. “I was just going to make some tea. Come in. Have a cup with me.”
“Okay.” She followed him back into the cabin and sat on the edge of the sofa as he grabbed cups from the cupboard and filled them with water. She glanced around the room at the discarded paperback and the logs piled haphazardly in the fireplace. “What happened here? Were you trying to start a fire?”
He chuckled as he stuck the mugs into the microwave. “Trying is the operative word. I’m used to fireplaces that turn on with a switch. They have fake wood and gas flames. I never knew starting an actual fire would be so hard. I probably threw twenty matches on those stupid logs, but I couldn’t get any of them to burn.”
“That’s because you have to light the kindling first. Once it catches hold, the flames will move to the logs. But you have way too many of them in there.” She pulled two chunks of wood out, then built a nest of kindling and newspapers under the remaining logs. Striking a match, she lit the kindling and blew softly on the tinder, nurturing the flames until they caught on fire.
He handed her a steaming mug, the teabag’s string dangling over the side. “So that’s the secret—I should have started slower then let the fire build, instead of trying to force it. I guess I just needed you.” He held her gaze for an extra beat, evidently trying to make sure she got his message. Then he backed up and sank down on the sofa.
He must have turned off the kitchen light as he came in, because she suddenly noticed how dim the room was. The glow from the fire was the only light left in the room.
He patted the sofa next to him.
Sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch, she took a sip of her tea, letting the warm liquid soothe her dry throat.
He waited, patiently watching her, as he sipped his own tea.
“I’m sorry,” she finally said.
“For what?”
“For everything.”
“Everything? That’s a pretty big apology. Are you including global warming and the Cuban Missile Crisis in there?”
She laughed—a soft chuckle, but she felt some of the tension leave her tightened shoulders. “Maybe not everything. But for the way I treated you today.”
He eased her back into the crook of his arm, and his fingers softly kneaded her stiff neck. “So, what’s going on with you? Just talk to me.”
She let out a sigh, staring into the amber liquid in her cup. “I wish it was that easy. I told you that’s it’s been a long time since I’ve done this. Any of this. Last night was amazing. Incredible. The best sex of my life. But that was up on the mountain, alone in a dark tent. Today, as we headed back to the ranch, the reality of it all slammed into me, and I didn’t know how to handle it.”
He didn’t say anything, so she kept going. “I didn’t know how to face it, so I avoided it, and you, today. I know it wasn’t fair, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know what to say or how to act around you, how to make you understand what I was feeling.”
He still didn’t say anything, and she lifted her gaze to sneak a glance at him, hoping to get a clue as to what he was thinking.
He was grinning like a fool.
“Why are you smiling like that? Didn’t you hear what I said?”
“Oh, I heard. You said that last night was the best sex of your life.”
A grin tugged at the corner of her lips.
How did this guy always manage to make her laugh? Even when she was being totally serious. “I told you that I don’t sleep around. So before your head gets too big, you should know your competition was a horny teenage boy, a cowboy that was drunk more often than not, and a terribly awkward blind date that should have never happened.”
His smile didn’t waver. “I don’t care. I’m still calling it a win. Score one for the computer guy—best sex of the hot cowgirl’s life.”
This time, she did laugh. It started as a tiny flutter in her stomach then bubbled up, and came out as a burst of laughter that wouldn’t stop, that had her holding her stomach as she let out a small snort. Her tea sloshed in her cup, and she set it on the coffee table.
Adam joined in, his own laughter hearty and full.
They fell back against the sofa, his arm still around her as she tried to catch her breath. “Oh, that felt good. I haven’t laughed like that in a long time.”
“I’m going to try not to take it personally that your fit of giggles was initiated by a comment about my skills in—”
She held up her hand. “Stop. Don’t say it. I can’t breathe.”
“I like to hear you laugh.” He twisted a length of her hair between his fingers.
She let out a breath, butterflies replacing the laughter in her stomach. “I like that you make me laugh.”
“I like pretty much everything about you,” he said, his voice softening to a whisper as he laid a tender kiss on her bare shoulder.
She’d already been in bed when she’d decided to take a walk, so she’d thrown on a pair of shorts and a zip-up hoodie over her tank top and slipped her feet into a pair of sandals. As she’d leaned back, the hoodie had slipped off her shoulder, leaving Adam the perfect spot to kiss, and she caught her breath as his lips touched her skin.
A shudder ran through her, but she wasn’t cold. And she wasn’t about to pull the sweatshirt up. In fact, she wanted to take it off, to take everything off, as her skin heated from Adam’s nearness.
“Pretty much everything?” she whispered back, trying to keep her tone teasing and light.
“I like your smile, and the positive way you look at life. I like the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about the ranch and your son.” He turned his body to face her, lifting his hand and tracing his fingers softly down her cheek and along her chin. “I like that soft sound you make in your throat when I kiss your neck, and I love the way you smell, the way you feel.”
He leaned closer, dipping his head to set a tender kiss on her neck, continuing his list in a murmur against her throat. “Your skin is so soft. And your hair. I love your hair.”
She tipped her head back, closing her eyes as she surrendered to the delicious things he was doing with his lips. His mouth moved from her neck, down across the ridges of her collarbone.
She knew she should just go with the moment, just keep her mouth shut and let this happen. But she couldn’t. “What is it that you don’t like about me?”
He lifted his head, tilting his chin to study her, as if trying to ascertain if she was serious or still teasing. “Well, I’m not exactly a fan of the way you avoided me today. And I don’t like that we live in two different states.”
She let out a shuddering breath. “We live in two different worlds.”
“I know.”
“Everything about our lives is the opposite of each other. We couldn’t be more different.”
He arched an eyebrow at her. “Don’t they say opposites attract.”
“The attraction isn’t the problem.”
“No?”
“God, no.” She took in his wildly mussed hair, the dark stain of stubble along his chiseled jaw, the taut muscles of his bare chest. “When I’m around you, I can almost feel my body humming with electricity. I want you like nobody else. I want you to the very brink of distraction.”
“Then we are not so different. Because I feel the same way about you. And I don’t get it.”
She arched an eyebrow at him.
“I mean, I get it. You’re gorgeous, and funny, and have an amazing ass. But I don’t usually act like this—all impulsive and reckless—falling for a woman I’ve just met and having mind-blowing sex with her in a tent in the mountains. I don’t do spontaneous or wild. My life is all about practical solutions, orderly schedules, and having things in neat little boxes that make sense. Nothing about being with you makes sense. You’ve blown my neat little boxes all to hell. You strode into my life in your cowboy boots and snug jeans and turned everything I know on its head.”
She smiled, glad to know that he was struggling with this as well. “You’ve blown my orderly life all to hell, too. Look at me right now—sneaking out in the middle of the night to see a man. My hands are sweating, and my heart is pounding just sitting on the sofa next to you. I’m supposed to be focused on my job, my son, this ranch. I don’t have time for daydreams and fantasies about a cute guy who wears glasses and barely knows how to ride a horse.”
He offered her a wicked grin. “Like what kind of fantasies?” His hand skimmed the hem of her shorts. “Like fantasies of me doing this?”
“Yes, that and more.” She let out another shaky breath. “So much more.”
He slid his fingers along her inner thighs, and as much as she wanted him to keep going—like really wanted him to keep going—the practical side of her mind cried out to be heard. She put her hand on top of his.
“But I don’t know how to process all of this. This all feels like it’s happening so fast. I can’t catch my breath. I like you, but I don’t like that I have no idea what our future holds or if we even have a future. I’m used to being in control, and when I’m around you, I seem to lose all sense of restraint.”
“I hear what you’re saying, and I agree that this is happening fast, but maybe this is just the way that these things happen. I’ve never felt like this before, either, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong or that it isn’t real. Because, Skye, I have to tell you, there’s more that I don’t like about you.”
She swallowed. More?
He’d been saying everything right, everything she wanted, needed, to hear. What if this was the part where he let her down easy, where he told her all he was interested in was the physical part of their relationship? The part where he reminded her he was going back to California and that he would leave, just like she knew he would.
He picked up her hand, turned it over, and laid a soft kiss in the center of her palm. “I don’t like that I can’t seem to breathe when I’m around you, that seeing you ties my stomach in knots, and that being around you makes me nervous as hell. I consider myself a pretty smart guy, but I don’t like that I can’t seem to think straight when I’m around you. That I can’t focus on anything—that I can’t think about anything but you. I don’t like that I’m leaving in a few days, because I can’t imagine getting through an entire day without seeing you, talking to you, kissing you. And I don’t like it when you’re not around, when I’m not touching you.”
Oh.
She didn’t know what to say. No one had ever said things like that to her before. The sweetest thing Cody’s dad had ever said was, “Thanks for getting me a beer.”
Her chest rose and fell as she struggled to catch her breath, and her palm prickled where his lips had touched it, sending heat up her arm and through her chest.
He lifted her chin, peered into her eyes, and then dropped his gaze to her mouth as he ran his thumb lightly across her bottom lip.
The flames of the firelight flickered in his eyes, his gaze hungry and full of desire. “Maybe we’re more alike than you think.”
“Maybe we are.” She leaned forward, resting her hand lightly on his chest, her fingers grazing over his bare skin as she kissed his neck. “Because I don’t like it when I’m not touching you, either.”
His body trembled as she circled his nipple with the tip of her finger, then kissed him again. She trailed her tongue down the skin of his throat and laid another kiss in the hollow at its base.
He let out a quiet moan, but she felt the vibration under her mouth. Her body responded, her own nipples tightening against the fabric of her shirt.
In her haste to leave her apartment, she hadn’t bothered with a bra, and the pebbled peaks of her breasts poked through the thin cloth of her tank top as she shrugged out of her hoodie.
Adam noticed, the heat of his hungry gaze sending tendrils of fire licking through her veins as her aching nipples tightened even more.
He gripped her now bare shoulders and dragged her up to his chest, dipping his head and slanting his mouth across hers. His tongue delved between her lips, seeking to taste and devour, kissing her as if every corner of her mouth held some new secret to discover.
She kissed him back, matching his desire, kissing him until her lips tingled and her insides were hot and liquid.
He pulled her onto his lap, spreading her legs so they straddled his waist. His strong fingers dug into her hair, then stroked down her back, pulling her closer, then grasping the hem of her top and yanking it over her head.
Hot flesh pressed to hot flesh as she clung to him, digging her own fingers into the hard muscles of his back.
He picked her up, standing from the sofa with her legs still wrapped around him, and continued to kiss her as he carried into the bedroom.
Pulling back the blanket, he laid her gently on the bed, then slid his hands under her waistband and peeled her shorts and panties down her legs, leaving her naked. The sheets were cool on her heated skin.
He shimmied out of his own shorts, kicking them across the floor, then crawled onto the bed above her. Anticipation and need surged through her veins, hot as lava, pooling at her core.
Her breasts ached for his touch, and she groaned, low and husky, as he bent his head and sucked her tender nipple between his lips.
His hands moved over her, exploring, caressing, touching her with a ravenous need—she’d never felt so wanted and so cherished before.
He rose above her, grabbing a plastic sack from the nightstand next to the bed and pulling out a box of condoms. “I went to the gift shop today and got some supplies.” He shrugged. “You know, just in case.”
She offered him a slow, seductive grin. “I hope you got the big box.”
He chuckled. “As a matter of fact, I did. I told you that I’m a pretty smart guy.” He ripped open the box, pulled out a foil package, and covered himself with the contents.
This is how it’s supposed to be, she thought as they laughed together. Sex was hot and steamy, but it was also supposed to be fun. So much about it was messy and awkward you had to be able to laugh about it. And be with someone that you felt comfortable laughing with.
It surprised her how comfortable—how very right—she felt when she was with Adam. Her nerves were jumpy and her stomach was sometimes in knots, but that was more out of anticipation than anything.
She was so inexperienced with all of this, but he made her feel like she was perfect. Like she was beautiful and sexy. And she loved it.
The problem was that she was pretty sure that she loved him—that she’d fallen in love with him up on the mountain. And that’s probably what had scared her the most as they rode back down.
Adam settled between her legs, then leaned down to kiss her.
The feel of his lips and his warm skin against hers robbed her of any other logical thought, and she let herself surrender to the wonderful things he was doing with his mouth and his hands.
She caught her breath as he eased into her—lost herself in the sensations of heat and pressure—right where she needed it.
Yes, there, right there.
…
Adam woke the next morning to the smell of coffee in the air. His body was stiff and sore, but in a good way. He’d just closed his eyes again when he heard the bedroom door creak.
“Knock, knock.”
“Please let that be a naked woman holding a cup of coffee in her hands,” he said, his eyes still closed.
He heard her feminine chuckle. “Close.”
He cracked open one eye.
She stood next to the bed, wearing his faded engineering T-shirt, her hair in a tangled “just got out of bed after a hot night of sex” way, holding a steaming mug.
Something in his chest flipped over, and he was fairly certain it was his heart.
Although, how could he even feel his heart anymore, when he was pretty sure that last night he had given it completely to her?
He sat up, blinking, and reached for his glasses, putting them on before accepting the cup and taking a long sip. “That’s good. Much better than the stuff you made on the mountain. I’ve never had to chew coffee before.”
“Hey, you wanted the ‘real western’ experience, and that included crunchy coffee. And speaking of experiences, I’ve got your next excursion planned for this morning.”
“Please tell me it includes you and me and not leaving this bed.”
She laughed. “It does include you and me, but it’s not in this bed. Or this cabin. I’m going to get showered, then I’ll meet you in front of the lodge in an hour. But first, I have to try to sneak back into it and act like I was just out for an early morning walk.”
“Maybe you should put your own clothes back on, then.”
“Good idea.”
“That means you have to take my shirt off.” He offered her a lurid grin as he peered at her over the top of his glasses. “I’m happy to help.”
She giggled, then struck a seductive pose and slowly pulled the T-shirt over her head.
He caught his breath at the glorious sight of her naked body covered only by the handful of cotton she teasingly held in front of her.
Setting his coffee on the nightstand, he reached for her hand. He swallowed at the sudden emotion clogging his throat. “Skye Hawkins, you quite literally take my breath away.”
She inhaled her own sharp breath, her eyes going wide at the compliment.
Then she let the T-shirt fall.