Chapter Fourteen

“Damn.” Thorne cursed yet another broken quill. He pulled his knife from the desk to re-sharpen it and eyed the inky mess he’d made of his letter. His visit to London a week ago had been successful so long as he could procure the funds needed for a stud horse of excellent breeding and two new mares.

He dropped the quill and pushed away from the desk to stand. He had tried to write this letter nigh on five times now, but the correct words would not come. Why writing a damned business letter was so hard, he did not know.

And yet he did. That damned woman. It was her fault. He could not cease remembering her face—how excited she had been when he had approached her about courting, how beautiful she had looked when he had leaned in to kiss her, and how damned hurt she had been when he’d flung vicious words at her.

He leaned against the window frame and peered out at the pleasant day. The two new gardeners were doing excellent work of reestablishing the formal garden at the front of the house and he would hire a few more once the estate was doing better. The stables were ready and new fences had been erected for the additional horses. Everything was going as planned. Before long, Lilith could have her coming out ball and hopefully she would cease asking to see Catherine by then.

Thorne narrowed his gaze at the figure darting across the gardens. He shook his head. It seemed Lilith was sneaking out and he had a fine idea where she was going. Why could she not understand that Catherine was not a suitable friend?

Pushing away from the window, he strode out of the house and caught up with Lilith quickly. She whirled when he shouted her name and stopped, folding her arms as she jutted up her chin. “You cannot stop me.”

“I damn well can.”

“Thorney, this is silly. I do not know what happened between you and Catherine, but she is my friend—she is a good friend. Never once did she judge me for our father or anything else. She never thought me too plump or…or bookish or young. She likes me for me and I want to see her.”

He shook his head. “I cannot have you spending time with such a woman. She is irresponsible.”

“Is this because of me riding out for the doctor?”

“She should never have let you go.”

Lilith planted hands on hips. “And what do you propose she might have done? Tied me up whilst dealing with an injured father and an overwrought mother?”

Thorne grunted. “You are coming back to the house.”

“No.” She stood firm as though expecting him to drag her back bodily. “What else would you have done? You and Mama brought me up better than that. Should I have sat around like a hopeless, pampered lady, just hoping help might arrive?”

“It was dark and wet.”

“Yes, it was. But it was a risk I was willing to take.”

“What if it was a risk I was not willing to take? You are my sister, Lil. I have been with you almost every day since you were a baby. You expect me to be happy that you ran off into the night and put yourself in danger?”

“No, but I expect you to understand, and I certainly do not expect you to blame Catherine for my own behavior.”

“She’s a bad influence.”

Lilith shook her head. “I would have done that no matter who I was with. You know that.”

Thorne winced at the sound of his mother calling his name. He waited until she had approached before turning to face her. Was it not enough that he was dealing with one stubborn woman, did he have to deal with another?

“What’s going on?” his mother demanded.  “I could hear you two arguing from the patio.”

“Thorney will not let me visit Catherine. He thinks her a bad influence. He’s still annoyed about last week,” Lilith confided. “When I helped Miss Chadwick. You remember, Mama?”

Apparently, his sister had been telling his mother all. What else she had told her, he did not know. As far as he was aware, neither knew of his intention to court her.

“Yes, I remember.” His mother faced him square on, her eyes steely. “You really must cease being such a bear. You are becoming intolerable.”

“Well forgive me for looking out for you all,” he grumbled.

His mother put a hand to his arm. “We appreciate all you do. You have made many sacrifices and I am not unaware of that, but Lilith is grown, as are the rest of your siblings, and you need not play the overbearing brother anymore.”

He arched a brow. “You think I was playing?”

“You were not always so rigid and in control. I would very much like it if you could remember that young man, son.”

Pushing out a breath, he shook his head. “Here I thought I was trying to look after you all, but it seems I am nothing more than an unbearable, controlling beast of a man.”

Lilith gave a gentle smile. “Thorney, we love you no matter what, and I will always appreciate all you have done for me, but you really must cease being so uptight.” 

He flicked his gaze between the two determined women. In his attempts to make their lives better, it seemed he was making them worse. And he was adding his own life to that. The only time he genuinely enjoyed himself these days was…well, it was when he was with Catherine.

“You were much more pleasant when that Miss Chadwick was visiting,” his mother mused.

Thorne narrowed his gaze at her. “Miss Chadwick has nothing to do with this.”

“Nonsense.” His mother folded her arms. “She has everything to do with this. You have been one hundred times worse since you decided Lilith should no longer see her. All because she does not bow down to you when you scowl at her.”

“I do not expect anyone to bow down to me,” he protested.

“This is silly, Mama, he shall not back down. He is always calling me stubborn, but I swear he is the most stubborn man I know. I shall write to Catherine instead and tell her what an awful bear my brother is being.” Lilith stomped off in the direction of the house and his mother shrugged.

“She is not entirely wrong.” His mother headed after Lilith and Thorne watched the two women until they were out of sight.

Pressing a hand through his hair, he shook his head. Was he really so awful to be around? He considered the past week and all he had said to Catherine. Perhaps he was. He would have to apologize to the women in his life it seemed—starting perhaps with Catherine.

Not bothering to return to the house for a coat or even a hat, he made his way up to the folly and sat on the bottom step. His fingers tingled at the recollection of Catherine’s hand in his. He had never been sure how or why, but she seemed to bring out the best in him. The worst sometimes too, perhaps. If she even accepted his apology, he anticipated they would have a great many more disagreements in future.

“Damn it.” He stood. He didn’t care if he spent the rest of his days arguing with her, so long as he was with her. His awful mood was nothing to do with Lilith’s late-night ride or him believing Catherine to be irresponsible. It was that she was not in his life and the knowledge that he had treated her abominably.

He had an apology to make.