Chapter 21
Charity
My body very nearly hummed with how anxious I was. I had Nothing off base, for sure, which was my goal. I mean, really, the only thing I’d accomplished was talking faster than Nothing could think, given his hung over state. I stepped out his garage door which was just finishing trundling up its track and walked out into the bright sunshine.
“Did it work?” Hope asked and I gave a one shouldered shrug.
“We’ll see.”
Cutter and Pyro exchanged a look and Pyro said, “I’m not sure if I feel bad for Nothing or if I’m cheering for him.”
“I’m thinkin’ a little of both,” Cutter winked at me and I rolled my eyes.
The rest of the guys were already at work cleaning up the yard, and I looked around. Flowerbeds were weed choked and overgrown, bordering the walkways and beneath the boarded up windows. Some of the guys were already in the garage opening up what appeared to be packages of replacement shingles against one wall.
I looked over at Faith, “Fancy planting some flowers with me?” I asked and she lit up, smiling. There were a lot of smiles and the sound of industry filled Nothing’s small side street as we all picked up something to do and got to work.
It was a long day, but a satisfying one. By the end of it, Nothing’s roof had been repaired, as had his small front stoop. The shutters he had piled off to the other side of the garage, that he’d never gotten around to installing, had been put up, and the paint in places on the outside of his house had been refreshed. The weeds had all been pulled, but most importantly, Hope had led the charge indoors and every floor had been swept, every picture frame and piece of furniture had been dusted and, thanks to the power coming back on, all of the bedding and curtains had been laundered.
She’d taken charge of the indoor operations with Pyro’s girl and Hossler, while Faith and I had brought the flowerbeds in line. There was one, lonely little circular bed in the front that had nothing growing in it. I’d gone to Nothing and had touched his shoulder. He’d jumped and turned to look at me, expression grave. He was sweating, in the heat and from his efforts to clear a fallen tree in his back yard.
“What was in the round flowerbed in the front yard?” I asked.
“Nothing, it died. Just leave it alone.”
“Do you mind if I plant something in it?”
“Yes, just leave it alone, please.”
I sighed and put my arms around his waist and looked up at him until he capitulated, his eyes closing, “It was a lemon tree. Corrine and I planted it when we found out she was pregnant, it was supposed to be so she and Katy could make lemonade, for a lemonade stand on the corner when Katy got old enough. A drunk took it out last year with his truck while I was out on a run with the guys. I just haven’t replaced it.”
I went up on tiptoe and gave Nothing a quick, soft kiss. “Thank you,” I said and he frowned.
“For what?”
“Sharing that with me, I know it was hard.”
Some of the tension drained out of him and he sighed, nodding. I left him and went back around front. Faith was waiting for me and she asked, “What’d he say?” I got close to her before I told her, repeating what Nothing had told me. She stared at my face intently for a long minute and chewed her bottom lip. She pulled out her cellphone from the back pocket of her shorts and said, “Give me a minute,” before wandering to the curb and making a call. I shrugged and went back to work.
She came back and I asked, “What was that for?”
“I called a friend and asked him a really big favor,” she said and I raised my eyebrows, pushing my new sunglasses that Hope had bought for me, up my nose.
“What kind of favor, and who’s this friend?”
“Bobby, he’s a friend of Marlin’s. He has an orange grove about an hour away.”
“Okay, but what does that have to do with anything.”
She rolled her eyes so hard I thought she might have glimpsed gray matter, “He doesn’t just grow oranges, silly. Orange grove is a misnomer, it really should be called a ‘citrus grove,’ he grows limes and lemons too. I asked him for a tree.”
“You did what?” I asked, blinking.
“He grows them for plant nurseries, so why not?” she asked.
“Big sister, I could kiss you,” I said and she blushed.
“It’s not that big of a deal, I like Nothing… he helped get me better. I’d like to help him get better, too.”
I hugged the crap out of Faith and whispered, “You’re the best sister anyone could ever ask for.”
“Thanks,” she said softly and hugged me back just as tight.
We ended up just working on Nothing’s house. There was so much that’d fallen into disrepair that it needed the attention. Even his brothers seemed surprised at how much the house needed done. It was worth it, though. By the time we were through, it looked like one of the nicest houses on the block. It was amazing what you could accomplish when you had an entire team of people working together.
Nothing and I hadn’t seen much of each other throughout the day, and when I found him again, it was him standing in his kitchen, a bottle of water in his hand and a faraway look in his eyes.
“Hey,” I murmured.
He shook himself, like a dog coming out of water and his gaze focused on me, a mask falling into place, shuttered, guarded.
“Hey,” he said simply and I sighed inwardly, steeling myself for the rejection I just knew was coming.
“Place looks great,” I said.
“Yeah, got a lot of stuff done that Corrine wanted,” he said and looked at the bottle of half empty water in his hands. “Kind of wish I’d done it while she could appreciate it,” he said, punctuating the statement with a heavy sigh.
“Yeah, I get that.” Silence ensued and it held that oppressive weight, the feel of an impending storm, only instead of thunder and rain, I pictured yelling and tears.
Here we go, I thought. Radar was right; I should have given him space…
“Listen, Charity…” I perked up and waited for the hammer to drop, thinking to myself, just get it over with. “I really like you, but I really can’t do this. It’s…”
“It’s not you, it’s me? I’m sorry I was weak? Let’s just be friends?” I asked, my tone was sharper, more sarcastic than I’d meant it to come out, but I was surprised at just how much I found that this inevitable speech was hurting. Bewildered at just how much I’d emotionally invested in Nothing in such a short time.
“Pretty much all of those things,” he said quietly.
“I really want to help you,” I said.
“I know that, but I’m not one of your patients, and I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not,” I murmured and stared up at the ceiling, tears pricking the backs of my eyes.
“Yes, I am. You’re a beautiful girl, and any man would be lucky to have you –“
“Really? Well what about you?”
“I’m just not that guy,” he said with a shitty half assed shrug.
“Do you think you’re being noble right now, Galahad?” his head snapped up and his gray eyes flashed with anger.
“What did you call me?”
“You heard me.”
“That’s not my name anymore.”
“No, I suppose it’s not,” I uttered, then heaved a big sigh. “Strike three, you’re out. Have fun being miserable, Nothing. I’m just not on board anymore. I can’t be the only one trying here. Things just don’t work that way.”
I turned and walked out of the kitchen, through the open space of the living room, and out into the bright sunlight. I didn’t know what sucked more, the total sense of failure, or the fact that despite all of his asshattery, I still really liked Nothing. I felt like we vibed on the same frequency, or whatever, in those rare moments when he wasn’t letting his grief be all consuming.
I couldn’t help but wonder if I was giving up too easily, but at the same time, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was saving myself a lot of heartache in the long run. I got in my Jeep and drove off, the few remaining guys loitering around Nothing’s place eying me with sympathy. Radar’s face flat and unreadable except for the slight nod he gave in my direction. I wondered vaguely if they’d heard the exchange, but couldn’t bring myself to care. Might as well make my humiliation complete on that front, eh?