Chapter Four
Maddy had no idea what to make of Chase Garrett. It was morning now, and she knew things had to get back to normal. Riley had to stop pretending Chase was his father, and Maddy had to stop fantasizing about the man.
The kiss on the porch had stuck with her. If not for Riley’s nightmare, she wasn’t sure what she might have done in the middle of the night. Chase had looked rumpled and sexy on her sofa. She’d be lying to pretend her fantasies hadn’t gone beyond kissing. She was a normal, healthy woman, and her husband had been gone now for months.
Truth be told, her husband had checked out of their relationship long before that fateful night. In fact, if not for her pregnancy with Riley, they might never have gotten married at all. But they had gotten married, and she at least had been faithful.
The front door opened, and Zane appeared, looking hungover and sheepish.
“Mornin’,” he offered.
“Long night?” she asked.
“I meant to come home.”
“You always mean to come home.”
Of her four brothers, Zane was the most prone to partying.
“Everything go okay here?” he asked.
“Mostly.” She didn’t want to rehash the nightmare. There was no point. “Chase got pretty cramped sleeping on the sofa.”
A flash of guilt crossed Zane’s face. “Why didn’t he use the guest bed?”
“He did, once we figured out you must have had a better offer.”
“It was a better offer. Got any coffee?”
“On the counter.”
He headed for the kitchen, pausing as he passed her. “Sorry, little sister.”
“You should apologize to Chase. He’s the one you co-opted and then abandoned.”
“Morning, Zane.” Chase ambled into the living room.
His hair was damp from a shower, and he looked more relaxed than he had the middle of the night. His painkillers were obviously working.
“Sorry I left you stranded,” Zane said.
Chase gave an unconcerned shrug. “No problem. I can heal up here, as well as I can in that motel room.” He gave Maddy an offhanded smile. “Company’s better anyway.”
There was nothing intimate about the look, but her stomach fluttered anyway. Her cheeks grew warm and she worried Zane would see her reaction. She quickly turned toward the kitchen.
“You both want coffee?” she asked over her shoulder.
“Please,” Chase said. “Black is fine.”
Riley came running down the hall, full of exuberance and enthusiasm. “Can we ride a horse today?”
Maddy turned back to tell Riley that Chase couldn’t stay any longer.
“My ribs are pretty sore,” Chase said, bending down on one knee to talk to Riley.
“I’ll take you riding,” Zane offered.
Given what looked like a wicked headache, Maddy could only conclude Zane was feeling more guilty than usual. She appreciated his offer. Hopefully, his presence would distract Riley.
Riley frowned. “I want to go with Daddy.”
“Riley, that’s enough,” Maddy said. “Chase is hurt, and Uncle Zane is being very generous with you.”
She met her twin brother’s gaze.
“Still?” Zane asked in an undertone.
Chase looked up at Zane. “I haven’t been able to figure out what to say.”
“You better say something,” Zane said.
“I know,” Chase agreed.
“It’s up to me,” Maddy said.
No matter how difficult, she’d have to find the words to make Riley understand. This wasn’t Chase’s problem, and it wasn’t Zane’s problem.
She sat down on the closest chair to be eye level with her son. “Riley, Chase has to leave soon. I know you’ve liked—”
“No!” Riley shouted.
He instantly pushed tighter against Chase, who sucked in a breath of obvious pain.
“Riley,” Maddy admonished, rising to get him. “You’re hurting him.”
“It’s okay,” Chase said.
“You can’t leave,” Riley wailed. “You just got here.”
“There’s a bull ride coming up in Billings,” Zane said, obviously trying to help by giving Chase an excuse to leave.
“Daddy’s hurt,” Riley said, with an unexpected level of perception. “He can’t ride bulls if he’s hurt.”
“He’s got you there,” Chase said to Zane, a glimmer of what could have been admiration or amusement in his gray eyes.
Maddy couldn’t believe he was taking this so casually.
“Hurt or not,” she said. “Chase has to leave us.”
Riley held on tighter.
“There’s no rush,” Chase said.
“We can’t keep this up.” She wasn’t an expert in psychology, but she knew as a mother this couldn’t be good for Riley.
“We won’t,” Chase said. “But it doesn’t have to be instantaneous.”
“That’s not fair to you.” And she was a long way from thinking it was the best solution.
“Let me worry about me. There’s not much I can do but sit around for the next couple of days.”
“You’re not coming to watch in Billings?” Zane asked, seeming surprised.
Whether or not a bull rider was riding, they were passionately interested in how the other competitors fared. And there were always opportunities to learn more about specific bulls and consider future techniques to use when riding them.
Before Chase could respond, Maddy’s phone rang.
She reluctantly left the conversation to answer.
“Hello?”
“Maddy? It’s Jessica Staples calling from the casino.”
The greeting got Maddy’s attention. She moved a little ways down the hall, and Chase and Zane’s low voices seemed to disappear.
“Hi,” she said. “Hello. It’s nice to hear from you.”
“I’m glad I caught you,” Jessica said. “I know it’s been a few weeks, but I’ve been reviewing your resume.”
Maddy held her breath.
“One of our dealers had a family emergency. And, well, with your experience, I realize it’s very short notice, but could you start tonight?”
“Tonight?” Maddy’s glance went automatically through the doorway to Riley. This was nowhere near the ideal time to leave him.
“I’m afraid we need someone right away.”
“Sure. Yes.” Maddy would work it out.
Somehow she’d work it out. She desperately needed the money.
“It would only be temporary to start. But”—Jessica gave a light laugh—“you know how these things go.”
Maddy was grateful to get her foot in the door. Jobs were scarce. She didn’t have that many skills. And card dealers made good money at the local casino complex. Plus, she’d applied for late shifts, so Riley would be sleeping most of the time she was away.
“I understand,” she said. “I’d be happy for the opportunity.”
“Fantastic,” Jessica said. “Start time is normally eight, but you’ll need an hour or so to get back up to speed.”
“I can be there at seven.”
“We’ll see you then.”
Jessica signed off and Maddy hung up the phone.
She took a moment to breathe then walked back into the living room.
“Everything okay?” Chase asked, still on the floor with Riley.
She gave him a nod. “Zane?”
“Yeah?”
“Any chance you can curtail the partying tonight and take care of Riley?”
Babysitting wasn’t her brother’s favorite activity, and she’d find a permanent sitter as soon as she could. But she didn’t want to leave Riley with a stranger right now.
“You got a hot date or something?”
“I got a job.”
Chase looked sharply up at her.
Zane’s brows knit together. “What do you mean you got a job?”
“At the casino. Dealing cards.”
Zane shook his head. “No, Maddy. I’m not going to let you do that.”
She’d expected some pushback and she wasn’t about to let his attitude rattle her. “This isn’t about you letting me do anything.”
“Riley needs you.”
“It’s the late shift. He’ll be asleep.”
“And you’ll exhaust yourself.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“I’m calling Lucas.”
She took a step toward Zane, ready to stop him if he pulled out his phone. “Don’t you dare.”
“If it’s about money.”
“You know it’s about money, and I’m not taking money from Lucas. I’m standing on my own two feet.”
Zane’s voice grew louder. “So this is about pride?”
Maddy became aware that Riley, and for that matter Chase, was hanging on their every word.
“Can you do it or not?” she asked Zane.
“Not,” he said.
“Fine,” she barked back, trying not to let his lack of support hurt her feelings.
“Because I can’t,” he said. “Skeeter and I are leaving for Billings this afternoon.”
“You don’t have to explain.”
“Don’t do that,” Zane said.
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re getting that hurt little puppy dog expression on your face. I want to take care of you.”
“No, you want to strong-arm Lucas into taking care of me.”
When she saw his expression, she knew how much her words had hurt him.
She immediately backtracked. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.”
Like all of her brothers, Zane felt acutely the loss of their family’s land. After their parents had been killed, they’d struggled to keep the cattle ranch going, but they’d failed. If they’d kept it going, Maddy could have made a contribution to running it while still staying home with her son. They all knew that.
In the silence, Chase came to his feet. “I think the answer’s pretty obvious.”
Maddy and Zane looked at him.
“I’m not going to Billings.”
She was both touched and unsettled by the offer. Riley would obviously love for Chase to stay. But how could she take such a generous offer? And how could she let Riley continue with his fantasy?
Chase’s tone went low. “I don’t think you’ll get an argument from Riley.”
Maddy didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to impose on him any more than she wanted to impose on her brother Lucas.
“It’ll save me paying for a motel,” Chase said.
“This isn’t about today or tomorrow,” Zane said. “Let me call Lucas.”
“Lucas is off the table.” There was no way Maddy was going to take an allowance from her oldest brother.
Her brother made good money in the New York financial sector, but that money was his. It didn’t belong to the family, and it wasn’t up to her or to Zane to put a call on it.
“This shouldn’t be so hard to decide.” Chase’s voice was kind, but at the same time firm. “If you need to work, you need to work. This is the best short-term solution for Riley. I’m assuming this is all about Riley.”
It was all about Riley. And it was all about her, about what kind of mother she’d be, and what kind of woman she’d be. Her husband’s life insurance hadn’t been enough. It hadn’t been nearly enough for her to run a house and raise a son. Dealing cards at the casino might not be the perfect solution, and it didn’t have to be forever. But at least she’d be able to fix the carpets and pay for preschool.
“Okay,” she said to Chase. “I’ll take your offer. I’d rather do that than call Lucas.”
Zane heaved an exaggerated sigh, raking a hand through his dark hair. “You’re going to regret this.”
“She’s taking a job,” Chase said to Zane in a reasonable tone. “Not getting a tattoo.”
“A tattoo?” Maddy wasn’t following Chase’s logic.
“I was trying to think of something permanent that you might regret.”
“What’s wrong with a tattoo?”
“Do you have a tattoo?”
“A vine. It’s pretty and very discreet.”
“Where—” he seemed to stop himself.
“I’m tagging out,” Zane said, taking a few backward steps toward the door.
Chase gave her a grin. There was a twinkle in his eyes that she desperately hoped Zane would miss.
“Can you drop me at the motel?” Chase asked Zane, moving for the door himself. “I’ll grab my stuff and come back with my truck.”
“Are you sure about this?” she asked.
She wanted to give him one final out. Not that she knew what she’d do if he took it.
He turned back to look at her with an intensity that made her knees go weak.
“I am absolutely sure.”
*
The next morning, Chase discovered how difficult it was to keep a three-year-old quiet. He was trying to let Maddy sleep in after her late shift. He’d heard her arrive home around two-thirty.
He’d thought about getting up to say hello but decided against it. He liked Maddy. He liked her a lot, and he wasn’t sure he could trust himself in the wee hours of the morning not to make a pass at her.
It was clear she had a whole lot on her plate. She had to be worn out from the challenges in her life, and he had no intention of taking advantage of that.
“It’s smelly,” Riley said, wrinkling his nose at the adhesive patch pad Chase was tucking under the edge of a hole they’d cut in the living room carpet.
“Talk quietly,” Chase said, demonstrating what he meant by saying the words in a whisper. “Mommy’s sleeping.”
“It’s smelly,” Riley repeated in a whispered voice.
“Don’t touch it,” Chase said, finding it easy to read Riley’s intentions from his expression.
“Is it hot?” asked Riley, thankfully still keeping his voice down.
“It’s sticky,” Chase said. “Like honey.”
“Can I taste it?”
“No.” Chase made a face. “It’s yucky, and it’ll make you sick.”
“Yuck.”
“Exactly. Yuck. Now, move back just a bit.”
They were kneeling on the floor. Chase picked up the carpet square cut to the right size.
“I need a little more room,” Chase said.
Riley wriggled back, while Chase carefully set the carpet down.
“Help me press it down.” Chase used the flat of his hand to anchor the carpet to the wet glue.
Riley happily helped, patting his small hands against the carpet. The carpet ends they’d found in the basement weren’t as faded as the carpet on the floor. But, overall, the match was pretty good.
“Better,” Chase said, pulling back to look.
“Better,” Riley echoed.
“What are you doing?” Maddy asked, dressed in a T-shirt and her pajama bottoms, she leaned against the end of the wall.
Chase still found the outfit incredibly sexy. He realized there had to be something wrong with him, because he’d bet there weren’t a lot of guys into green plaid.
“We chopped up the carpet,” Riley announced with glee.
He jumped up and trotted over to Maddy, giving her a hug.
“I found a roll end in the basement,” Chase said. “It’s not perfect, but we got rid of a few worn spots.”
“It needs to be replaced,” she said, looking embarrassed.
“You can still replace it. This just buys you a bit of time.”
“Thanks. And thanks for letting me sleep.”
He retracted the blade, tucked the cutter into his pocket and came to his feet. “You got in pretty late.”
“Still…”
Riley tugged at her hand. “I helped,” he said proudly.
She scanned the carpet. “You fixed the spot by the door too,” she said in obvious surprise.
“And under the window,” Riley said. “And where Daddy dropped the paint can.”
“You remember that?” Maddy asked Riley.
Riley nodded. Then a strange look came over his face, and he glanced at Chase.
Chase pounced on the moment.
He crouched back down so he was eye level with Riley. “Did you know that some people have more than one daddy?”
Riley’s lips pursed, and his eyes squinted down.
“Sometimes, when one daddy has to go away, a different one comes into a little boy’s life.”
“Daddy always comes back,” Riley said. But his eyes took on the sheen of tears.
“Daddiess come back when they can.” An unexpected weight settled on Chase’s chest as he spoke.
For some reason, he was reminded of his own father leaving. The situations were completely different. Mac Garrett hadn’t died, and Chase had been fourteen when it happened. But he’d left and he hadn’t come back.
Riley swallowed. “Are you going away?”
Chase decided he’d pressed enough for now. “I’ll have to go ride bulls again.”
Riley gave what looked like a brave nod.
“But not today,” Chase said. “Today we’re going to paint your bike.”
It took Riley a moment to react. When he did, he seemed guarded, as if the offer was too good to be true. “What color?”
“Any color you want,” Chase said.
“Can it be red?”
“Sure.”
“Like a fire engine?”
“Chase.” Maddy’s cautious tone had Riley glancing at her with apprehension.
Chase kept his tone light. “You have something against red?”
“Your ribs.”
He waved away her concern. “It’s light work. A little sanding, a little spray paint and polish.”
“You don’t need to do this.”
“There’s a hardware store in town?”
“Yes, but…”
“Can you go get your shoes?” he asked Riley.
“Yes.” Riley grinned from ear to ear then took off down the hall.
“You want to come along?” Chase asked Maddy.
She looked worried, and a shot of anxiety went through him. It occurred to him that there might be something about the situation he didn’t know. He might have made her life more difficult by trying to help.
“Maddy?” He moved toward her, ready to apologize and make it better.
“What I want,” she said on a note of wonder, “is to thank you all over again.”
“For what?” He couldn’t stop himself from inching closer.
“For last night.” She gestured to the carpet. “For this. And now his bike.”
“It’s nothing.”
“But most of all,” she continued as if he hadn’t spoken, “for telling him he could have two dads.”
“It’s true.” Chase had moved too close. He knew it, but he couldn’t bring himself to back off.
“I saw his face,” she said. “He’s thinking. It’s a start, a gentle start.”
“It’s a start,” Chase agreed. He was very glad the thought had occurred to him.
She closed her eyes, and her shoulders drooped in what looked like relief.
“Hey.” He couldn’t help reaching out to touch her.
Then he wrapped an arm around her. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to pull her into an embrace.
The second he did, he remembered her state of dress. She was naked under the thin T-shirt, and her loose breasts touched his chest. She felt delicate in his arms, and he was overcome with a wave of protectiveness. It was followed by an equally potent wave of desire.
His hug tightened, and she rested her head on his shoulders.
“I shouldn’t do this,” she whispered. But she seemed to be talking to herself as her arms went around him.
“You’re not doing anything,” he assured her.
“I’m leaning on you.”
“It’s okay.”
“I feel weak. I can’t be weak.”
“You’re not weak. You’re resting. Everybody needs to rest.”
“I don’t know you,” she said.
“You will.”
“You’re leaving.”
“I am,” he agreed. “But not yet. Not today.”
She nodded against his shoulder.
He moved his head so that he could whisper in her ear. “Lean away.”
“Am I hurting you?”
Her question took him by surprise. But then he remembered his ribs. He’d forgotten about them. With her in his arms, they didn’t hurt at all.
“No.”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not. But it wouldn’t matter. I can take it.”
“You’re a cowboy?”
“That I am, ma’am. And no self-respecting cowboy would let a little thing like broken ribs keep him from aiding a woman in distress.”
She laughed at that. “I like you, cowboy.”
“I like you, Maddy.” He pulled back, partly because he wanted to look at her face while they spoke, and partly because Riley was going to be back any second.
Their gazes met. He smoothed back her hair then he stared at her lush lips for a long moment. After an internal battle, he settled for kissing her forehead. Even that small gesture felt absurdly erotic. He loved the taste of her skin, the scent of her hair, the feel of her slender shoulders beneath his palms.
He had to back away now. But he knew for certain that when she came home tonight, he wouldn’t pretend to be asleep.
*
When Maddy got home, Chase was still up. She’d known he would be, and she knew why. She’d tried all night long to forget the feel of his embrace. And she’d tried very hard to pretend she hadn’t sent the signals she’d sent him.
“You’re up.” She pretended to be surprised as she peeled off her high shoes. Her feet were killing her.
“How was your night?” He was sitting on the sofa, a single lamp burning in the living room.
“It was fine.” She padded barefoot across her newly patched carpet, trying to quell her growing desire for him. “Like riding a bike.”
“You’ve dealt cards before?”
“Only at charity events. I was too young to do it in the casino. But I waited tables in their restaurant during high school. So I know how the place runs.”
“You look tired.”
“I am tired.”
“You want a drink?”
She did, but she wasn’t comfortable jumping into a fling.
“There’s a decent bottle of bourbon in my bag,” he said when she didn’t immediately answer.
“Chase.” She sank down on the opposite end of the sofa, deciding she owed it to him to be honest. “I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”
He sat up straighter. “And what idea is that?”
“I know.” She didn’t know how to say it, except to come right out and say it. “I know we kissed and earlier you hugged me. And I hugged you back. And you’re a good-looking guy and all.”
“What’s the idea you don’t want me to get?” he prompted.
“You’re a bull rider. You’re here for a week, maybe two at the outside. I’ve got a son, and I’m not about to fall into bed with you just because—”
“Just because you want to?” There was a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
“Just because you want to,” she corrected. He might have guessed at her attraction to him, but she was equally aware of his attraction to her.
His voice was low, deep and melodic. “Who says I want to fall into bed with you?”
“You stayed up and waited for me.”
“I didn’t have expectations.” His words said one thing, but his expression said another.
“But you had hopes.”
“I’m a man. And you’re amazing. And I absolutely had hopes. I still have hopes.”
“Chase.”
He gave his head a shake. “I’m not that shallow. I also stayed up because I wanted to have a conversation. I wanted to see how it went for you at work. I thought you might like to know how things went here with Riley.”
She experienced a flash of worry. “Is everything okay?”
“Riley’s fine. I gave him a bath, read him a book, and he went to sleep.”
“You gave him a bath?” She didn’t know why that touched her so much.
“He was pretty dirty from playing outside.”
She leaned back, feeling herself relax. “He always gets dirty.”
“He’s a boy.”
“He certainly is.” Her son might be confused about Chase at the moment. But besides that, he was an ordinary, healthy happy young boy.
“And how are you?” Chase looked like he genuinely wanted the answer.
“My feet are killing me.”
He grinned and held out his broad hand. “Give ’em here.”
She wasn’t about to fall into that trap. “Chase.”
“You think this is seduction 101?”
“Yes.”
“It’s not. It’s sympathy 101. Nothing happens tonight that you don’t want to happen. I swear to that.”
She knew his words were meant to comfort her. Unfortunately, they didn’t. Because she was more worried about herself than she was about Chase. Everything he’d said and done in the past few days told her he was a principled gentleman.
She, on the other hand, seemed to want to throw herself into the arms of a handsome bull rider who was only passing through town. She’d always questioned the morals of the women who did that. Maybe she’d been too judgmental.
“You need me to save you from yourself?” he guessed with frightening insight.
“I do not,” she lied.
“Then there’s absolutely no danger here.” He leaned down and lifted one of her feet, setting it on his knee and pressing his thumb into her heel.
She knew she should stop him, but she wasn’t strong enough to say no. His circular strokes were heavenly. For a few minutes she sat silently and selfishly, letting him massage his way along her foot.
“Where did you lean to do that?” she asked.
“Internet how-to video.”
The answer made her smile. “Seriously?”
“I read that pregnant women appreciated foot massages.”
“Pregnant women?”
A funny expression crossed his face. “I want to have children someday.”
“Are you married?” She tried to pull her foot away, but he stopped her, holding it fast.
“I’m not married. I’m not engaged. And I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Are you sure?”
He gave her a lazy smile, and resumed massaging. “I’ve been with myself my whole life. I think I would have noticed.”
She accepted the answer, relieved and glad he was unattached.
“What about you?” he asked softly into the quiet.
She found the question odd. “My husband died.”
“Since him? Before him?”
“Before him, I was in high school. I was a tomboy back then. I wasn’t dating anyone.”
“You must have had offers. You’re a knockout now, and I can’t imagine you’ve changed that much in four years.”
“You’re exaggerating. Besides, I had Zane and three older brothers. There weren’t a lot of guys getting past those guard dogs.”
“But Chase Barrett did.”
“They liked him.” Her mind went back to their first date and Lucas’s reaction. “He reminded them of themselves, and they thought he’d take care of me.”
There was an edge to Chase’s tone. “Instead he got you pregnant.”
“We didn’t tell anybody, and we got married right away.”
“Your brothers aren’t stupid,” Chase said. “They knew.”
“Then they preferred to pretend it hadn’t happened.” She didn’t want to talk about this anymore.
Chase seemed to catch her change in mood. He stopped asking questions and leaned down to lift her other foot, silently massaging it. The first few strokes were blissful, and she closed her eyes, leaning her head against the sofa.
He pressed circles into her heel, then longer strokes along her arch. His hands were large and strong, releasing tension from the balls of her feet.
“Did you love him?” Chase asked, his voice resonating deep.
Maddy blinked herself back to reality. “What?”
“Did you love him?” Chase repeated. “You had to marry him.”
“I didn’t have to marry him.”
“At the very least, the decision was complicated by Riley.”
She stared at him. “What is it you want to hear, Chase?”
His hands stilled as he gazed back.
“Nothing,” he finally said. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”
She pulled her foot away, sitting up straighter and curling both feet beneath her.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated.
“It’s okay.” She wasn’t mad.
There was no reason for her to be mad. Chase was the one doing her so many favors. And he kept doing them.
“How are you feeling? Your ribs?”
“Getting better.” He shifted his body, his expression tightening as he moved. “Slowly but surely.”
“You’re still really sore,” she guessed.
“I’ll be sore for a while. Sore’s not a problem.”
“You should stop doing so much work around here.”
“I’m not doing much.”
“Well, that’s about the biggest lie I’ve ever heard.”
“I painted a bike. It was fun, not work.”
“And you fixed my carpet. And when the sun comes up tomorrow, am I going to find something else? Like maybe you painted the porch or replaced the roof?”
“The porch does need painting,” he said.
She picked up a throw pillow and tossed it at him. It hit him in the chest.
“Ouch.”
She immediately regretted her action. “I’m so sorry.”
He grinned. “I’m joking. Even in my wounded condition, it’ll take more than a pillow fight to lay me out.”
“You’re hopeless.”
“What color?”
“What color what?”
“What color do you want your porch?”
She came up on her knees and shook her head. “Oh, no you don’t.”
“I don’t see how you’re going to stop me.”
“I’m… Well…” She searched her brain for an idea.
Truth was she didn’t see how she could stop him either. And if she was being completely honest, she wasn’t sure she wanted to stop him. An image of him sweaty and shirtless with a paintbrush in his hand came up in her mind.
It was staggeringly sexy, as was Chase.
“I’ve got you stumped,” he said.
He had her more than stumped. He had her confounded and disconcerted. Her feelings for him were a jumble of gratitude, admiration, and desire.
She wanted him. It was going to take a lot of self-control to stay out of his bed.