Oriana
Dale and Kyle both offer me rides, but I know it’s a bad idea, so I walk home alone. I don’t live very far from the bar and although I have a car, I like to walk. It gives me a little bit of time to clear my thoughts before I reach my destination. There’s something about the stars in Kansas that seem brighter and bolder than the stars in Minnesota. It’s stupid. They’re the same stars, but I can’t seem to get enough of them.
Staring at them as I walk, I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t left, if I hadn’t gotten out. For me, Kansas is an escape from reality: a welcome reprieve. For me, it’s the perfect place to start new. I’m 23. I’m not old. I’m young, and I shouldn’t feel as aged and tired as I do.
Sometimes life isn’t fair, though.
Sometimes we experience things we were never meant to feel.
I let myself in the backdoor that leads to the basement. The stairs are narrow, but I don’t mind being careful as I make my way down the stairs and into the tiny bedroom I’m renting. Technically, I’m only renting the bedroom and bathroom in the basement, but the finished space is empty and Mrs. Bot doesn’t seem to mind if I use it. My new home feels like a big apartment. I like it.
Then again, I seem to like everything about Greenville.
Including my job.
Including my boss.
Especially my boss.
It’s a bad idea, falling for the guy I work with. I need to get my feelings under control because sometimes I get the feeling that Dale likes me as more than an employee.
Sometimes I get the feeling that we could have a lot of fun together.
Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and it’s going to be a crazy night. Dale is beyond thrilled that I’m going to be around to help. Sometimes I get the feeling he likes me. Sometimes I think it’s really just because I’m around and he needs a helper.
I don’t know.
Right now, all I know is that Greenville feels like a safe place, and I haven’t felt safe in a very, very long time. Not since Bobby left for the war. Not since he came back changed. Not since I buried my brother.
I haven’t felt safe and I haven’t felt comfortable, but here, I finally feel like I can let my guard down. Oh, I’m brand new to this little town. I’m new and alone and I miss my brother more than anyone could possibly imagine, but I’m taking things one day at a time and right now, that’s all I need.
*
New Year’s Eve arrives.
“Order up,” Audrey calls, placing an order on the bar. I look at the words scrawled on a sheet of paper and instantly start making the drinks. It’s almost midnight and, as promised, we’ve been swamped all night.
“I’m right on top of it,” I tell her, and she disappears. Quickly, I start going through the motions of measuring the liquor, adding the mixer, and then stirring. Wash, rinse, repeat. I’m not an expert bartendress. Not by any means. Still, I’m doing my best to keep up with the drinks as both Audrey and the patrons come up and order new things.
Dale is behind the bar with me tonight.
“You’re doing great,” he keeps telling me. I’m not sure if he’s just trying to be nice or if I just look super overwhelmed, but I appreciate the sentiment.
“Thanks,” I say. I haven’t taken a break all night and neither has he. I’m sure it’s against some sort of worker’s code or law, but I don’t really care. We’ve already emptied the tip jar twice tonight and it’s nearly full again. Tonight is going to be a really, really good night.
It means I’m going to be able to start saving money and soon, I’ll probably be able to get my own place. For real. I think I’m going to buy a house. I don’t want to live in a rented room for my entire life and I certainly don’t want to be in an apartment forever. For a long time, something as simple as being able to afford a down payment on a house seemed impossible.
Now I’m starting to think that everything might actually be okay.
“Hey, you fucked up my drink,” a guy says, cutting into my thoughts. Then suddenly, I’m completely soaked.
Like, totally, completely soaked.
I gasp in shock as the liquid hits my skin and I look up to see a younger-looking guy staring at me with malice in his eyes.
“Fix it,” he sneers. “You fucked up my drink. I wanted a rum and Coke. That’s not what you made.”
Before I can react, Dale is lifting the guy by the back of his shirt and shoves him toward the door.
“Get out of my fucking bar, asshole,” he says.
“But I paid for the drink already,” the guy protests.
“I guess you should have thought about that before you treated one of my waitresses like shit. Fuck off,” Dale says. For a second, I think the guy is going to protest again, but Kyle comes over and crosses his arms over his chest in a silent threat. Dale is big, but you’d have to be fucking insane to try double-crossing Kyle. He’s not the kind of guy you mess with.
Ever.
“Yeah, okay,” the guy grumbles, and he heads out the door. The guys who were with him also file out, leaving half-finished drinks behind.
Deep breaths, I tell myself.
You’ve been through worse than this. You can do this.
I move to start cleaning up the drinks, but Dale stops me.
“Come with me,” he murmurs. He takes my arm and guides me over to the break room. He pushes open the door and we both go inside.
I run my hands up and down my arms, shivering a little.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” I wave him off.
“No, Oriana, I mean it. Are you okay? It’s fine if you aren’t okay, Oriana. You don’t have to be strong. Not right now. Not here. Not with me. Okay? That guy was a dick, but we’ll never let him back inside.”
“I know,” I nod, but really, I’m just thinking about how wet I am. I’m seriously fucking soaked, and this is not how I wanted the night to end. It’s almost midnight, and tonight was supposed to be the ending to a terrible year and the start of a fresh one. It was supposed to signify me moving on with my life after Bobby.
It was supposed to be my shot at finding something real, something true, something completely mine.
But I’m wet.
I’m soaked, and I smell like alcohol, and I’m standing in a break room with my boss and he looks so completely concerned for me that I can’t handle it.
“I’m okay,” I say again. Really, I’m just hoping he’ll leave so I can crumble and cry alone. I’m ready to break down. I’m ready to shed the tears that have been threatening to fall since my brother died.
I haven’t cried.
I haven’t cried in weeks.
Not since it happened.
Not since before.
The 10-second countdown begins. I can hear the rest of the bar shouting, and I realize that we’re missing it. We’re missing New Year’s. We’re missing the start of something wonderful.
“I’m okay,” I whisper, but I’ve underestimated Dale. For a second, I think he’s going to leave, to hurry back to the crowd that waits in the main room of the bar, but he doesn’t.
He steps forward instead and he reaches for me.
“Happy New Year, Oriana,” he murmurs, and then Dale lowers his lips to mine, and he kisses me like we’re the last two people on Earth.