Iain had forgotten how damned and bitterly cold the Highlands could be when winter moved in to stay. They’d reached the mill some miles from the keep to discover that an attack had left the miller and his son injured, sent his family into hiding and the mill itself damaged. Now, three days later, they were riding back to Dunnedin Keep after leaving guards in place and packing up the miller and his family to return with them. He let his thoughts drift to a warm place to sleep, a hot bath, and a cooked meal—simple things—things he’d missed these last days and nights.

More so, he’d missed Robena.

He told himself it was because he’d planned to spend these weeks with her. And that he knew she was waiting for him. None of those previous plans mattered now, for over the last few days he’d finally decided that he wanted her, and not as his whore. Not even as his leman.

As his . . . wife.

Oh, he was not ignoring the challenges to getting what—who—he wanted, for Iain did not delude himself into thinking this would be an easy matter to resolve. Many people would have their say, whether invited to or not, and many of his kith and kin would object and place obstacles in his path. Hell, if he was thinking straight, he would ken better than to take another step into the quagmire this would undoubtedly become.

As they rode through the village, Iain kept watch for her along the paths. She could be in any number of places, not expecting his return this day. When they’d arrived at the mill and inspected the damage, Rob had, at his request and with a great amount of smirking, sent word to her that Iain had accompanied him with the message that called for Pol, the blacksmith. Their path did not take them near to her cottage, so Iain would have to wait.

The lady stood waiting at the top of the steps leading into the keep, and servants took their horses and offered them cups of mulled wine. Anice ran this household better than even the most experienced commander of warriors did his men. He knew that she would have already made arrangements for everything they needed on their return.

“Food waits in yer chambers, to hold ye until supper,” she announced to the group. “And a hot bath.” Rob leaned in when he reached her, and Iain could tell what he’d asked from the blush that rose in her cheeks that had nothing to do with the cold winds swirling around them. “I have tasks to see to, Rob. Ye can wash yerself.”

She pushed Rob away with a playful slap on his arm and nodded her greeting to Iain. When he reached her, she touched his arm.

“A bath awaits ye, Iain,” she said.

“My thanks, Anice. My old bones would like nothing more than a long soak in a steaming tub.” He knew the lie in his words and what he’d omitted, and her gaze narrowed as he met it. She knew as well.

“Iain, I sent word to Robena, but she has not come.”

Knowing when Rob had sent word ahead to his wife, Iain understood that there had been plenty of time for word to reach Robena as well. Not attending him in his chambers was not due to a lack of notice. Was it something else, then? Mayhap she tended to another birthing? Or was needed in some other matter?

Disappointed, Iain drank his wine, soaked in his bath until the water grew cold, and was dressed in time for supper. When he entered the hall and went to the table, he found his place had been moved, from next to Rob over to Struan’s other side, next to a woman he did not recognize. With a slight bow to the laird, he sat.

“This is my late wife’s sister, Gunna,” Struan said as Iain settled there. “She is visiting with us, but I dinna think ye have met before?”

“Nay, Struan, I think we have,” Iain said, in what he hoped was a pleasant voice. “Lady.” He nodded at the woman, who looked to be close to his own age.

“I met ye when I met yer brother,” the woman said. “’Twas some years ago, and I was sorry to hear of his passing.”

He remembered little about this woman, but did recollect that she was one of the four women under consideration to marry his brother a score and ten years ago. Though initially attracted to several of those brought for his inspection, Duncan had fallen in love with his Margaret at first glance and remained that way until his death.

“My thanks. He is missed even now,” Iain offered. Duncan was missed by all of his kith and kin, and his widow had not yet recovered from her grief. Iain doubted Margaret would. When he looked at Struan, Iain saw grief in the laird’s eyes as well, for Struan and Duncan had been fostered together, and had remained friends until Duncan’s passing. The laird had even sent his natural son to Duncan when he thought it necessary. A glance over at Rob told him that Rob had heard the words. “So, what brings ye to Dunnedin, lady?” he asked politely as he tried to push their talk back to a less painful topic.

“Struan invited me to visit. ’Tis been a while since I was here.”

Anice’s choking cough drew attention. Rob patted his wife’s back and offered her the cup there to ease it. Turning back to Gunna and Struan, he nodded, all the while wondering over Anice’s reaction to the woman’s words. Iain had sat at the tables of nobles all over Scotland, and understood how to conduct a polite and meaningless conversation.

Rob spoke about the matter of the attack on the mill and miller, which seemed to be more about a rogue band of thieves than another clan’s incursion onto MacKendimen lands. As winter set in, these outlaws grew bold in seeking supplies to see them through the dark and cold months of December and January. Come spring, they would be back on the roads and in the forests, where Rob and his men could flush them out.

The meal, filling and hot, was served, and the time passed as he exchanged words with Struan’s kin. A few strange glances from Rob, after Anice’s coughing, made him uneasy, and he would have to find out what Rob meant. When Anice stood, Gunna did as well, and they left the table together. From the way that Anice walked off without her once they reached the bottom of the steps, Iain understood there were no warm feelings between the two. Which made Gunna’s acceptance of Struan’s invitation even more curious.

“She is a fine woman, would ye not say, Iain?” Struan asked. The laird held up his cup and Iain watched as it was filled by a waiting servant. He tried to put just the right reply together before speaking.

“She seems to be, Struan. I have not seen her since her family was negotiating for her to marry Duncan all those years ago.”

“Gunna was widowed years ago, and is open to remarrying.” Well, the man could be direct when he wanted to be. Now it was Rob’s turn to choke. Struan glared at his son and turned back to Iain. “I am sure yer family is urging ye to remarry. The commander of the MacKillop’s warriors is in fine mettle to marry and have children.”

“As I have told my nephew, if I choose to marry again, I will be certain to let everyone ken of my decision to do so.” He tried to speak the words in an even tone, but his anger at Struan’s presumption grew.

“If ye had a wife in yer bed, ye wouldna have to chase after that whore like a dog in heat.” Struan whispered his opinion through clenched teeth, but still loud enough for Iain to hear. Loud enough for Rob as well.

Iain had stood, grabbed hold of Struan, and pulled him to his feet before he even realized it. The utter silence surrounding them brought him to his senses as he realized that everyone there was watching. He was moments and inches away from offering a grievous insult to the laird of the MacKendimens, one his nephew would have to deal with. One that could break years of friendships and alliances.

The words about Struan’s own actions, chasing a woman like a dog in heat until she cuckolded her own husband and bore Rob, were not words to be spoken aloud. They would not surprise anyone here, for the story of Rob’s beginnings was familiar, but to remind the laird of his failures and to call Rob’s mother an adulteress before this clan would do no one any good at all. And, worse, ’twould do much harm.

“Just so,” Iain said as he released his hold of the older man. He stepped back and offered a slight bow before turning and walking down the steps and out of the hall. Rob caught up with him before he’d made it back to his chamber and followed him within.

“I thank ye for not blurting out anything about the circumstances of my birth,” his friend said. “Though I could see ye wanted to say it to his face.”

“Secrets revealed are still never easy to hear.”

“I didna ken why he brought Gunna here, for ’tis been years since her last visit here.”

“There was some problem between her and Anice, then?” Iain could decipher it in Anice’s face, and in the way she’d left her aunt-by-marriage behind.

“Aye. Gunna was here when Anice was young and inexperienced in dealing with her life and challenges. Gunna reminds her of bad decisions and behaviors, long after Anice grew into the woman she is now.”

“That might be the reason behind Struan’s words then. Regret? Embarrassment over how he lived his own life and the choices he’s made?”

Rob crossed his arms over his chest, letting out his breath as he nodded. Iain began gathering up his clothing out of the trunk in the corner and stuffing it in a leather sack.

“If ye wanted to be charitable, ye could think of it as advice he’s giving to ye, so ye would not make mistakes as he has.”

Iain shook his head, partly to deny that possibility, and partly in disbelief that Rob would defend the man.

“What are ye doing?”

“I think a few days in the village might do me some good,” Iain said. “Send word if ye have need of me. Ye ken where I will be.”

“So, ye have no plans to marry again?” Rob asked.

“Nay.” Iain shoved another shirt in the bag. “Aye.” He tossed everything on the bed and put his hands on his hips. “I would love to have what ye have, Rob. I miss Elisabeth and I miss what a man can have with a woman he loves.”

“Are ye seeking to marry, then?” Rob goaded him. Iain let out an exasperated groan.

“Jamie wants me to remarry and have bairns, to ally another clan with ours. Struan thinks marrying again is a good plan—for me but not himself, clearly. Ye, too?”

“Bairns?”

“I have only two score and five years on me, Rob. I can still make bairns.” If he had not glanced up at that exact moment, he would have missed the alarm that crossed Rob’s face. It was gone so quickly Iain wondered if he’d even seen it there.

“Right now I want to go and spend some time with a woman I ken who will not ask me questions.” Iain tugged the sack closed and picked it up. “I think I will stay there until Gunna has gone.”

Rob’s laugh taunted him then, but he resisted the urge to say more or to punch his friend. He opened the door and motioned for him to leave. “Give my regards to Anice, if ye will.”

“About Anice and bairns,” Rob began. “She is carrying.”

A broad and proud smile filled his face at the announcement. Iain smacked Rob’s shoulder at this news, for it had been almost five years since Anice had given birth to her son Craig with no sign of bearing another. This explained Rob’s strange reaction to the question of bairns earlier.

“Ye have my best wishes, Rob. ’Tis not kenned yet?”

“Nay, she wishes to wait a bit longer before announcing it. Moira kens, as do a few others.”

“I will not speak of it until ye give me leave.” With that, he pulled the door behind him, forcing Rob to move along.

“Iain, why do I get the feeling that ye are running away?”

Iain answered with a crude gesture and walked away, unwilling to say more.

In a way, he supposed he was escaping. Escaping from Struan’s plan to make a match between Iain and Struan’s cousin. Escaping from the need to pretend he did not want to be with Robena. As he made his way to the stable to ready his own horse, Iain decided that he was escaping, but instead of running away, he was running to . . . her.

As he rode like the flames of hell were pursuing him, he realized that he had made a decision to marry. Not to a woman most would expect or want him to marry. When he arrived at her cottage and stood before her door, he understood that his biggest challenge, the one he might not overcome, was the woman waiting within for him.

Iain knocked softly and waited for permission to enter. When it did not come, he lifted the latch and opened the door slowly. Careful not to allow too much of the cold in, he quickly closed and secured it against the growing force of the winds. Waiting for his eyes to adjust to the low light, he finally found her. Not lying on the pallet, but sitting in the one large chair, sound asleep.

He walked softly over to her and crouched before the chair. Her breathing was deep and even as she slept, unaware of his arrival. Then he noticed that her hair tumbled loosely over her, and that she wore only the blanket wrapped around her. Her bare feet peeked out at the bottom and rested on the floor. If the fire had been stronger when it was laid, ’twas not now, and she shivered in her sleep.

Iain put the bag down and found some wood to add to the fire. It grew stronger and threw more heat as the new logs caught, and he watched as her shivering eased. Returning to the place before her, he sat, and with a care not to wake her, lifted her feet up and put them on his lap. Then, after rubbing his hands together briskly to warm them up, he laid them on her feet and stroked up under the blanket in a very slow path. His hands could almost encircle her ankles, so he did, sliding down and up, along the front of her shins and on the back of her legs. Her loud sigh was the only warning before she woke.

Robena opened her eyes then, though she wanted to sit here and enjoy the feel and the heat of his touch on her feet and legs. She hadn’t realized how chilly it had gotten, because she’d sat down and had promptly fallen asleep.

So much for her intention to wait and be ready for his return.

He sat at her feet, or rather under her feet, stroking her, bringing the warmth of his strong hands to her chilled skin. Leaning forward, she smiled at him when he looked up at her.

“I wanted to be ready for ye,” she said.

“Ye did not come to the keep when Anice sent word.”

If she did not have a care, she would hear the disappointment in his voice and allow it to soften her resolve about him. She lifted her feet from his lap then and he allowed it. Reaching down, she took his hands in hers.

“I couldna.”

She tugged until he stood and let the blanket around her drop as she reached out to caress his legs. Beginning at his knees, she stroked up much as he had, but onto his thighs, feeling the well-defined muscles there. His breathing changed as she slid onto her knees before him.

“Couldna or wouldna?” he asked in a breathy whisper.

Did he think her willful? That she would ignore his call for no reason but her own? Robena sat back on her heels and tilted her head up to meet his gaze. The erection brought on by her caresses was visible there in the way the woolen plaid tented out from his groin.

“The laird forbade me from entering the keep.”

She felt his strength as he pulled her to her feet, and admitted to herself that she loved it. The way he could move her at his will. He could hold her up while he entered her, while he fucked her standing or against the wall. He could stretch out his arms over her body and hold her immobile as he tormented her with his mouth and his cock. Never once had he used that strength in a way she did not wish.

“But Anice has welcomed ye there,” he said.

“Anice is the lady of the keep, but Struan is still laird, Iain. He has every right to bar me from entering, or to punish me if I disobey his word. Ye ken that, ye do.” She moved back a step and let the blanket fall completely away. “So, I’m afraid ye will have to visit me here if ye want me.”

Strange thing; she found herself waiting for him to say he would come here. That he did want her. But the icy expression that covered his eyes worried her.

“Iain? Is aught wrong?”

“Nay, Robena. Not with ye. But ’twould seem that Struan is up to some game.” He reached for her then and slid his hands up and down on her arms gently. When he looked at her, his eyes were warm and alive. “I do not mind visiting ye here at all. As ye can see, I had planned to do that already.” He canted his head towards the pallet and she noticed the leather bag there.

“Will ye tell me what he did?” she asked.

The laird had been openly hostile to her, but he could not do that to Iain. Not with the long history of friendship between their families. Not with the position of respect each held in their clans. Struan had changed with his son’s death and with Rob’s marriage to Anice. He’d broken his word and few trusted him, but fewer raised a voice to question his authority. Rob had made it clear that he was serving as tanist until a new chieftain was needed.

“He brought his late wife’s cousin here to visit.”

That did not seem so strange, or even a bad thing to Robena. With a clan as large as the MacKendimens, kin came from all over their lands to visit, stay, foster, or live. She shrugged, not seeing the problem.

“For me to consider marrying.”