Chapter Thirty-one
I ended up spending the night on Holly’s sofa in the front parlor. The following morning she claimed she’d offered me a bed in one of the guest rooms, but apparently, I wouldn’t budge when she shook me.
“How late were we up?” I asked as I sat down on one of the kitchen stools while she poured me a cup of coffee.
“I’m not sure,” she replied. “The last time I remember the clock chiming, it was 3:00 a.m., but we were still talking at that point. When I went upstairs it was 4:30. I must have dozed off for a while because you were sound asleep beside me.”
I remembered the moments leading up to that. She had fallen asleep at the opposite end of the sofa, curled up in a ball with her cheek resting on her hands, and I hadn’t wanted to wake her. That’s when I must have nodded off, too.
Just then, the grandfather clock in the dining room chimed for 9:00 a.m. and I jumped. “How do you live with that thing?” I asked. “Doesn’t it drive you insane?”
“It’s been doing that since I was a baby,” she explained, taking a seat on the stool beside me. “I don’t even hear it.”
“You’re lucky,” I replied, sipping my coffee and thinking about our conversations the night before. We’d talked about everything from favorite music to most embarrassing moments.
There was no question I was fascinated with Holly by then. She seemed to be everywhere in my mind, all at once. It was as if I’d known her forever, which in a way, I suppose I had.
“How do you feel about everything this morning?” I asked, referring to the question of whether or not she would contact Riley, or tell her parents about it.
“I’m still not sure,” she replied. “I know I want to see him, but I don’t know how Dad will react to that. I’m pretty sure Mom will fall to pieces and want to see her grandchildren, but will she be able to stand up to my dad if he says no? Will she do it anyway?”
The telephone rang. Holly stood to answer it.
“Hello? Oh hi,” she said in a familiar half whisper, turning her back to me. “Did you get home okay? How was the flight? Any delays?”
I waited patiently while she carried on a quiet conversation about airports, work, and how she was coping.
Slowly, as she continued to talk in quiet tones, a tight knot took form in my stomach. I couldn’t help but draw some conclusions about the person on the other end of the line. I raised my coffee cup to my lips and downed what was left of it, then set it on the counter and slid it away from me.
At last she hung up the phone. I swallowed heavily over my rising disappointment.
“Sorry about that,” she said, blushing slightly as she returned to the stool beside me. She picked up her mug and took a sip, then glanced around the kitchen, unable to meet my gaze.
“Boyfriend?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“Yes.” She shrugged her shoulder, somewhat apologetically. “He was here for Leah’s funeral and just flew home yesterday.”
“Where’s home?”
I wondered how long he’d been gone before I’d knocked on her door. Hours? Minutes?
Just thinking about that made me want to knock my head against a wall a few times. What was it about me and women I was attracted to? There always seemed to be some other guy…
Holly nervously cleared her throat. “Dallas. He’s doing a residency there.”
Another doctor? Great.
Since I had no claim on this woman, all I could do was make light of it. I leaned forward and grinned. “What is it about this family? Don’t you people know how to mix and mingle with the rest of the world? With those of us without medical credentials?”
To my relief, she laughed and covered her mouth with a fist, as if she was afraid of spraying coffee all over me. “Maybe it’s because I didn’t watch enough SpongeBob episodes as a kid. Clearly my world is far too small.”
“Maybe you need to live in a pineapple under the sea for a while.”
Holly laughed again and the clock pendulum clicked steadily in the other room. The humor of the moment faded quickly, however. The mood turned melancholy. Again, I knew she was thinking of Leah.
“What’s his name?” I gently asked.
“Paul.”
“How did you meet him?”
“Med school,” she told me. “He was in his final year, I was just starting. Thanks to my dad—who made a few calls on Paul’s behalf—he got into a great neurosurgery program in Dallas, which is exactly what Paul always wanted. He’s from Texas originally.”
“I see.” I nodded my head in an exaggerated manner. “Your dad must love him. He probably has a church and reception hall already picked out for the perfect date in June.”
Holly gave me a warning look. “I would tell you to behave yourself, but you’re probably right. Dad adores him. He thinks he’s the cat’s meow.”
I detected a hint of cynicism in her tone as I watched her sip her coffee.
“What do you think?” I asked. “Will there be a June wedding?”
Holly sighed. “Not after everything that happened with Leah. I don’t think it would be wise for me to make any major life decisions right now.” She continued to hug her coffee mug in both hands. “Now that I think about it, it’s been that way for the past couple of years, ever since Leah was diagnosed. All I could do was keep gliding along. I feel like I’ve been living my life on auto-pilot.”
I stood up to refill my coffee cup, at least relieved to hear that Holly wasn’t tempted to rush into anything. “So is it serious with this guy?”
“I suppose.”
Returning to my stool and wondering why she hadn’t mentioned a significant other the night before when we were up all night talking, I set my mug on the counter. “That kind of sounds like an auto-pilot response.”
We gazed at each other intently, then she let out a sigh. “He’s an amazing man, Josh. Really. Smart, handsome, responsible. I’m very lucky.”
“But…” I prodded, leaning forward and feeling not the least bit guilty about urging her to rethink things.
What the hell was I doing? I’d just come out of a relationship with a woman who wanted to be with another man whose neck I wanted to wring. Now I was trying to become that “other guy” who couldn’t keep his hands off a woman who was already taken?
Holly set down her cup.
“What’s his family like?” I asked.
“His father owns an investment firm so they’re very well off. His mother didn’t have a career, though she sometimes does volunteer work. They’re a lot like my own parents I suppose.”
I nodded in understanding, and we quietly finished our coffees.
“I should probably get going,” I said, though I didn’t really want to leave, but it seemed the appropriate thing to say in that moment. “Thanks for the dinner and the use of your sofa. I enjoyed talking to you.” I rose to my feet.
“I enjoyed talking to you, too.” Holly followed me to the back hall where my jacket hung on a hook. “But some of the things we talked about still seem so…unanswered.”
“You mean about Riley?” I asked as I slid my arms into the sleeves of my jacket.
“And Leah,” she replied. “What happened to you during your surgery was incredible all on its own, but then you talked to my sister—if that’s what really happened. I don’t know how you’re getting by without knowing what it all means. Whether it was real or not. Part of me thinks we should put you in a lab and do experiments on you.”
“That sounds like a whole lot of fun.” We walked to the front door. “You know, it’s strange,” I said, pausing on the braided rug. “A month ago, I never gave a single thought to heaven or the idea that we might actually have souls. I’ll admit I was arrogant about that kind of thing. I thought people who believed in their “higher selves” weren’t operating on all four cylinders. I thought I knew everything about who and what we are—that when we die, it’s game over; pure nothingness—but now I feel completely…humbled. At the same time, I think I saw things most people can’t even dream of. Maybe that’s arrogant too.”
Holly gazed at me, looking bewildered.
“I should get going,” I said again when she made no comment.
Moving to the door, I waited for her to open it, then stepped out onto the covered porch.
“Will you let me know if you’re going to get in touch with Riley? I’d like to see him myself, but I don’t want to get in your way.”
Holly stood in the doorway, holding the screen door open. “I’ll keep you posted. The first thing I need to do is talk to my parents and tell them what you told me. See how they feel about moving forward. And you have my cell number, right?”
I nodded. “And you have mine? Call or text any time, Holly, because Lord knows I’ve got nothing else to do for the next five weeks.”
She smiled and waved good-bye as I walked down the steps, going easy on my sore leg, as best I could.