“He's coming out of it, Ms. Sawyer. Any second now.” The nurse taps her finger lightly against the IV hooked to his arm, frowning when his vitals don't improve on the monitor.

“It's Carlisle soon,” So I hope. It comes out more harshly than I'd like. Lizzie squirms in my arms, roused from her nap. Outrageous optimism will do that, I guess...assuming it's not delusion.

I have no idea what Knox will say when he wakes up.

Our last earthly talk before the studio had him confused, betrayed. I saw his love become hate in his eyes. Lights became chasms.

Then he saved my life. All of us here, really. The sleepy little girl on my lap, the best friend holding the old woman's hand, both of them blotting at their eyes.

We're staring at the same man. He's never looked more powerful with his eyes shut, elysian chest rising and falling, his hospital gown slightly ruffled from pulling on it in his sleep.

He's a dreaming irony. Somehow, he's become the center of the universe in this bed, the rock tethering so many lives, stronger than he ever was in his camo, his battle hardened bloodlust, his eyes like burning stars.

He saved your life, idiot. It runs through my mind with a thousand other emotions, none I can catch for long enough to define, outside the gratitude in the very air filling this room.

His lips move first. He's trying to say his first words in days. I lean in, hugging Lizzie tighter, napalm in my eyes. They're the hot, blinding tears I promised myself a dozen times wouldn't come when we reached this moment.

So much for that.

It's a bigger challenge trying to stop myself from blubbering like a baby when the throat I just want to kiss starts moving, struggling to add words to twitching lips. “Sun...Sunflower. Oh, Christ. Where the...where the hell am I?”

He winces, sitting up, scanning the room. It's dead silent, except for the door closing as his nurse steps out, giving us some privacy. Knox takes us in one at a time.

“Easy,” I whisper, leaning in.

“I didn't...die?” he whispers, glancing at the source of his pain under the sheet, the long stitches running through his abdomen.

“Hardly, Mr. Drama King.” Jamie's words are little sister sarcasm, but her tone is fluid honey. “You're alive. In Phoenix. On planet earth. Lucky us.”

He shoots her a scornful look. Then she stands, leans over me, and pecks him on the forehead. “No, idiot. I'm serious about the last part – lucky us. Welcome back, Knox.”

His mother moves in for a quick kiss, too, whispering a few indistinct words to her baby boy. I'm bouncing Lizzie gently, trying to wake the little girl from her nap as much as I am distracting myself. I can't breakdown in front of him.

I promised I'd be strong, present, here for him when he shows me what he needs. My heart also drums a furious beat through my bones, uncertainty its music.

I don't know what happens next.

I don't know how he feels.

I don't know how we forget the wreck the last time we spoke.

Or how we love again.

“Sunflower...” He whispers my nickname again, eyes fixed on me, flitting briefly to the little girl when Jamers and Mrs. Carlisle give us some space. “How?”

I pause, staring at the others, soft smiles shining on their faces.

It's time, just like we discussed.

“Let's give you kids some time alone,” his mother says, brushing her granddaughter's hair over her ear before she turns, heading for the door. Jamie winks, as if to say good luck, and then she's gone, too.

“Daddy? You're okay, okay?” Lizzie slides forward in my arms, tapping him gently on the shoulder.

That gets a smile from both of us. It's the first we share since our own little hell, and then the big one Gannon and Wright created.

“I'm breathing and in one piece...or near enough. Thanks for reminding me to count my blessings, peewee.” He reaches out, ruffling the little girl's hair. She wraps her tiny hands around his finger while Knox looks at me. “Thought I'd lost you and my own life. What happened?”

My smile withers. I hate having to re-live the most heart-stopping moments of my life, but I'm able to because, deep down, they're over. “You lost a lot of blood. I saw his hand going for the gun and cried out, tried to warn you.”

“Too little, too late,” he says, nodding.

“You were...hurt.” I pause, staring at Lizzie's curious face. I pull her in close, careful to cover her ears. It isn't more than a few seconds before she's drifting off again, sleepy and content. “He pulled the trigger before we could do anything. I was in no shape to fight. He punched Jamie in the face, held me down on that table, whispered those horrible things. If you hadn't gotten there when you did...”

“Lucky timing. Thought my luck ran out as soon as I felt that bullet slice through me. How the hell am I still alive? And you, Sunflower?”

“He cracked when he saw the blood. I don't know if he was delusional, confused from you hitting him, or what...but you went down hard. Trapped him. He tried to push you off and got his hands bloody. Then he started screaming, thrashing, shooting wildly into the ceiling until there was nothing left to fire. Lydia rushed in when she heard his gun clicking.”

Knox snorts, shaking his head. “Saved by a fucking hedgehog? Life has a sicker sense of humor than I thought.”

“Well...not quite.” I close my eyes briefly, re-living the last time I saw Eric Gannon. “Lydia rushed in, holding a big black rock she pulled from the junk in the corner. One of his old Zen explorations pieces. She was about to bash his head, put him out cold, but he started screaming again. He got out from under you, running for the door.”

Knox's face tenses. “Don't tell me. He got away?”

“No. He ran straight into your friend, Wright, who must've known he was a loose cannon. He showed up surrounded by guys in black body armor, half a dozen, maybe. They looked like a SWAT team.”

“Fuck,” Knox growls, lowering his eyes. When he brings them back to me, they're alive again. Conscious with a fire that's still willing to kill, if need be, to make this right.

I'm grateful he won't have to.

“The rest of it was just a blur, honestly. They grabbed Gannon, restrained him. He never had a chance against so many. Then they noticed Jamers, pointing her finger and screaming, telling them to get an ambulance out here, stat. The men, I can only think they recognized you.”

“My old acquisitions crew,” Knox says, finally understanding. “Christ. They'd be the only ones he could trust, if he meant to put down a rabid dog and not say anything about it.”

“He never had a chance. They turned on him as soon as they saw you bleeding out. He screamed all kinds of threats when one of them refused to drop his phone. I saw your eyes open when they put Victor Wright in handcuffs, too, and held him there while we waited for the police. I hoped you saw, but I guess you didn't, or maybe you don't remember.”

“Thought it was as dream, darling,” he says quietly, running his fingers over mine. “Some sort of hallucination before I left this world, my mind seeing what I wanted to happen, what I needed to save you from, before it went bad.”

“You did save us, Knox. Does it really matter who finished it? Without you, God only knows where it would've went. Nowhere good. Look at us,” I say, a tremor in my voice, grasping his hand. It's so warm, just like the little girl in my grip. “Everybody's here. Alive. Safe. Happy.” Or soon to be, I mentally add, bracing for what happens next, now that the how is over.

Next, he'll want whys. And those damn whys are what always matter most.

“I was wrong about you, Kendra,” he says, grasping my hand more firmly, bringing it to his chest. “Walked straight into their trap, willing to believe the lies I should've seen through from the very first second.”

I look away. It's too much. If I hold his eyes, I will start crying again, and I really don't want to wake up Lizzie when she's sleeping so peacefully. “Forget it. It's not like you could've known. Obviously, we're not happy over it, but people make mistakes.”

“No. The shit I laid on you was unforgivable. What I said, what I feared, thinking you've pried into my heart with a dagger in the back...that wasn't Victor, or Gannon, or even a simple misunderstanding under ugly fucking circumstances. Sunflower, look at me.”

I do. His eyes are so bright, catching the mid-day sun seeping in through the open blinds. They're clearer, vaster, more beautiful than the pristine Arizona sky behind the glass.

“Real talk: it was never their scheme. That was just a catalyst. I got nasty because I was scared.” His confession doesn't come easy. His grip tightens on my hand, and he brings it to his lips, giving my skin the world's slowest kiss. There's no stopping those tears now. “I couldn't believe we were real. All this time, letting you in over the crazy weeks since this thing started, and it still wasn't good enough. Thought I was destined to be alone, and maybe it'd be better that way, too. Didn't know I still had it in me to love, and love like we did the best summer I ever lived. I was sure we'd lost that years ago, after that night on Camelback, when life got dark, death marching me through the worst shit a man can live..”

“Knox, you're too hard on yourself. It's okay. We can go on. Move past it and –“

“Sunflower, I love your lips moving more than the sunrise itself, but I'm not done.” He kisses me again, priming every nerve.

I swear to almighty God it's his energy in my veins, his pulse in my body, his soul in my eyes when I wipe the tears rolling down my cheeks, shift Lizzie against my shoulder, and lean in for the next part. “Tell me,” I whisper, our faces less than a foot apart.

“That bullet in my guts changed everything. I'm not afraid anymore. Rescuing my little girl reminded me we're not saved unless I let go, and start believing in us. Not just when you're up against me, sweet as honey, prettier and sexier than any woman I'll see in the next ten lifetimes. Not when you're wearing that ring, or when I've got my fingers in your hair, bringing you in for a kiss I never want to end.

“Sunflower, I've learned to believe. Convinced myself we're alive in every breath I take. Whenever you're stuck in this brain, which is pretty much a constant, I see a reason to make my lungs work, and enjoy it. I see that dorky half-grown kid I started to love before she was a woman I couldn't resist. I see the stars we'll always share, bright as they were that night on Camelback, when this insanity started without us even knowing. Facing losing you was worse than death, Kendra.”

Worse? How much more can a human heart possibly take?

I don't know, but I keep listening, resting my forehead on his. He grabs my wrist, pulls me lower, pushes his lips as close to my ear as he can get. “Worse because I know, just fucking know, that there's no clear line where the us begins. Not anymore. Maybe not ever. I think you know that, too, darling. And if I'm wrong, and you don't know? Too bad. I want you to be my wife. I want to spend every day knowing you're as much a part of my life as that angel you're holding, and you always will be. You're the only one who ever could be her ma, and the only one I'll ever marry with a vow worth more than any ring.”

There are no words. I think he's stolen mine. I'm hollowed out, hanging on to him so hard my hand shakes, dripping every echo he said through my soul, as surely as the rivulets steaming down my cheeks keep coming.

He takes his free hand, lifts it up, and brushes the streams over my ear, until he's cleared them. “Did I ever say stop looking at me, Sunflower?”

“No, but I'm done,” I say weakly, listening as Lizzie smacks her lips on my shoulder and mumbles in her sleep. “I can't look at you anymore. Kiss me, Knox, before she wakes up.”

And he does.

And I kiss back.

And I remember why I've stuck with him through our agony like never, ever before.

* * *

“It's beautiful, honey.” Mom holds my hand lightly, turning it over to see the ring. The diamonds catch the morning light, scattering it back across Scottsdale's breakfast hour. “Honestly, I'd expect nothing less from a jewelry tycoon.”

I smile. “I'd have corrected you a few weeks ago. But it's his company now, completely, we're all better off. I'm grateful.”

That's an understatement. I can't believe sometimes the insanity is really over, or near enough.

Victor Wright goes to trial next week. Gannon won't be far behind him, assuming my old boss doesn't just spend the rest of his days in a high security psych ward.

“Just between us, you're certain about this, yes?” She gives me a sideways glance, sipping her prickly pear infused tea. “It's tremendous work becoming a wife. Double when it involves a little girl.”

“I've never been more sure about anything, mom. You've met him, and Lizzie, too. Even dad said he liked them after dinner.”

“He does. Your father's just concerned, dear, the same as me. We want you happy and safe, without walking into something you're not fully prepared –“

“Hold on.” I raise my hand, pushing an invisible barrier between us. “You think I'm not? Really? After we've lived a thriller movie? After I told you how he saved me from that psycho, twice, and I almost lost him? After I caught hell from my best friend, who's finally about to pass her last semester, by the way?” Jamie and me are about to be sisters-in-law, and we're actually happy about it.

Mom sets her tea down. “Kendra, that's wonderful. You two had a wild road to love. There's no denying it. I'm not questioning your love, or your devotion, or your happiness.”

No? I wonder. Then why the second guessing? Jesus, mom, the wedding is less than a month away.

October, the month that seems to stretch on the longest in Arizona, will be the starting line for our eternity. It couldn't be more perfect.

“I don't get it.” I shrug. “What are you asking then?”

“You've found your happiness and the love of your life. Now, I just want to know you'll keep them.”

I open my mouth to fire back, but I close it again with the first unsaid word stuck on my tongue.

There's nothing more infuriating than when your mother is right.