I stared at the ramen noodles I stirred in a pot on the stove. This was the fifth night in a row ramen and nuggets were for dinner. I looked over at the kitchen table and saw my Sophie coloring, and a wave of guilt hit me. I was so not suited to be this little girl’s mother. She was a beautiful light, and I was a screw-up. She deserved so much better.

When I looked at my checking account this morning and saw the balance, I just wanted to shut down and cry.

A little more than fifty dollars to my name.

Christmas was coming, and I could barely afford to feed her a proper meal.

Out of nowhere, small arms wrapped around my waist.

“I’m sorry about dinner,” I whispered, defeated.

“Why, Mommy? It’s going to be yummy.” Her sweet voice brought tears to my eyes.

My job was to uplift her, and here she was trying to make me feel better. I looked down at her adorable face and felt my heart expand.

When my sister showed up at my doorstep four years ago with a baby in her arms, I never knew she would give me the best gift I ever could have received. I was barely twenty years old then and only in my second year of college. One look at Sophie’s chubby cheeks and big blue eyes and I fell madly in love.

So, I did what any good parent did… I decided to go to school part time and work two jobs so I could take care of Sophie. I was lucky to have Mrs. Miller across the hall, the nicest old lady on the planet. She saved Sophie and me. She was the one who helped me potty train her, who took her while I ran around trying to keep our heads above water. I didn’t know what we would if she weren’t in our lives.

“Holly?” As if Mrs. Miller had heard my thoughts, the sound of her coming through the front door was clear.

“Mrs. Miller. Come on in. Are you hungry?” I smiled at the frail old woman. Even though Sophie and I didn’t have much, I was more than glad to share my meal with her. I owed her everything.

I turned around to properly greet her when I noticed a large casserole pan in her hand. The look of complete relief on my face must have been noticeable, because my wonderful neighbor smiled gently, marched over to the oven, and turned it on.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but Sophie and I are so very grateful.” The tears sprung from my eyes at the sheer amount of kindness and grace she had given the two of us over the years. I was convinced, had it not been for her, we might have been thrown out on the street a time or two.

“Oh dear, you are my family. This is what family does.”

“Is that lasagna?” Sophie whispered in disbelief.

To a child her age, who was so used to living day-to-day and forced to eat meals based more on cost than flavor, she was smart and noticed everything.

“Why yes, it is, little miss.” Sophie ran over to Mrs. Miller and wrapped her arms around her so tightly I thought she would break some bones.

Looking at my little girl and how appreciative she was of a simple meal made me both proud and a little sad. Sophie was the best. She was loving, kind, and patient. At that moment, I knew I had to do whatever was necessary in order to make sure I could put that smile on her face more often.

“Okay, Sophie, put your toys away, come say goodnight to Mrs. Miller, and let’s get ready for bed.” Sophie jumped up and ran over to Mrs. Miller.

“Thank you for supper. It was yummy. Mommy said I can have some for lunch tomorrow. I am so excited.” Mrs. Miller smiled and wrapped her frail arms around Sophie and squeezed her to her.

“Oh, Sophie Girl, I will be sure to make it for you whenever I can. I love you, sweet girl. Sleep well and tight, and make sure those bed bugs don’t bite.”

Sophie grinned and ran off to the bathroom.

I smiled at my neighbor. “Mrs. Miller, will you stay for a tea or coffee?”

“Yes, dear. I would really love that.” I walked over and looked at Sophie in the bathroom. She was already in her pajamas and brushing her teeth without even being told. I was so blessed with her. She never had a phase where she behaved badly. She always did what she was told and didn’t complain. I never understood why my sister didn’t want Sophie in her life, because this little girl was my entire reason for being. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her.

“Want me to read you a story, bug?” I asked as I kissed her temple. She shook her head softly, radiating a giant smile.

“I would take a hug and you tucking me in.”

“Gladly, baby.” As I tucked her in, I rubbed her hair.

“I love you, Sophie. I love you to the moon and back and all around the universe. You are the best and brightest thing in my life.”

“I love you too, Mommy.”

“It’s going to get better, Sophie. I’m going to make things better.”

“You always do, Mommy,” she whispered as sleep took her over.

“I love you, baby.” As I left Sophie’s room, I was full of determination to do better, no matter what.

“Now, how about that tea, Mrs. Miller?” I looked around, and Mrs. Miller wasn’t in the living room. Just as I was about to panic, she came back into the apartment with a plastic grocery bag that seemed to be full to the brim. As soon as I realized what it was, I started shaking my head frantically.

“No, Mrs. Miller. I can’t take your groceries. I know money isn’t plentiful for you either.”

“Hush, child. You know I believe the Lord always provides. Besides, what kind of woman would I be if I let my family go hungry?”

“Then you better be coming here for dinner every night.” I took the bag from her and put away the groceries.

“You know I will. Truthfully, you are doing me a favor. I can barely chop and peel anymore with this damn arthritis in my right hand.” Mrs. Miller sat down, her hands slightly shaking as she put two cups of tea on the table.

As we drank tea and chatted about our day and her health, the conversation went from lighthearted to a more serious subject.

“How bad is the money situation, Holly?”

I averted my gaze to the floor, and a wave of shame poured over me.

“Bad. I can barely cover rent as it is. Sophie is growing. She needs things, and I just can’t afford them. Her winter jacket has been mended so many times I am afraid it’s going to disintegrate. Maybe I should just drop out of school. That tuition is money that can go to my child.”

“No, dear, you will not drop out of school. That tuition may make you feel the hardship now, but in another year, you will be done. And with your grades, you will finally be a social worker. You will be able to give Sophie and yourself a much better life. Quitting school will mean you will be living paycheck to paycheck forever.”

She was right, I knew that, but it didn’t help my guilt.

“I have a two-bedroom. Why don’t you and Sophie move in with me? It’ll save on rent, and you can use that money to provide for Sophie.”

I burst into tears. All my fears, my failures, my worries, and my love rushed out of me in the form of wracking sobs.

“Hush, child. You know I love you and that little girl as if you were my own. I was so miserable until the two of you came into my life. Now my life is full of joy. Having you and Sophie with me is a godsend. That reminds me, Holly, I remember seeing something in the paper this morning. Maybe you should look into it.” Mrs. Miller pulled a newspaper out of her purse and handed it to me. “I circled it. Looks like they want to hire someone. They are offering $40,000. I thought that would cover your tuition.” I wasn’t sure what kind of job would dish out that sum of money.

I looked at the ad and seemed kind of shocked that Mrs. Miller would bring it to me.

“Whoever wrote that seems like a pompous asshole,” I muttered under my breath. “And it sounds like they want an escort.” I was shocked and a little hurt that Mrs. Miller would think I would stoop to such a level to become a hooker.

“Read the fine print, dear.” I looked down at the bottom of the advertisement, and at the very bottom in minuscule print, it read:

“I can take Sophie in the evenings. The audition starts tomorrow morning at ten. If you don’t have a shift at the diner, I think you should go and see what this is all about.”

I was hesitant to take Mrs. Miller’s advice, but the lure of $40,000 was too much for me to ignore. Christmas was just around the corner, not to mention paying off my debt so I could actually breathe again.

“It would be nice to give Sophie a Christmas she would never forget,” Mrs. Miller said, as if reading my mind.