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Cocksure by K.I. Lynn, Olivia Kelley (21)

 

 

“EVERLY IS PREGNANT,” CAM says, and I know that I must be hearing shit. “She says it’s her asshole ex, but I don’t believe her.”

The iced coffee I just grabbed from Dunkin’ Donuts slips from my grip and drops to the ground. I hear the cup hit the concrete floor and watch as some of it splatters up and onto Cam’s shirt. Not a single muscle twitches to try and stop it from happening. I just stand there, shocked and a little dazed by what I just heard.

I stare at him, his words filling my head. Those words, “Everly is pregnant,” and the knowledge that the last time we had sex, we didn’t use any condoms.

Holy shit. She’s pregnant.

For over a month I’ve been trying to get her to talk to me, to go out with me, but she keeps refusing. Is this why? She’s pregnant and doesn’t know or maybe want to tell me?

“Dude! What the fuck? This is a clean shirt,” Cam says, pissed off as he swipes at the spots that I’m sure will stain his perfectly ironed shirt. I don’t fucking care right now. He’s ridiculous for ironing a fucking T-shirt anyway.

“She’s pregnant?” Maybe I imagined him saying it.

He grabs a towel from the chair and walks over to the station’s kitchen sink to wet it.

“Apparently. She just told me today.” He’s wiping the little spots of coffee from his shirt, his strokes on the stains angrier than anything. Nope. Not my imagination.

“Okay, so you say you don’t think it’s her ex’s baby. Why don’t you believe it’s his kid?” I ask while throwing paper towels on the liquid mess on the floor.

He stops suddenly, throwing the towel back on the chair, and stalks toward the window to stare. The rest of the guys are outside sitting on chairs while enjoying the early evening weather.

“Hell, I don’t fucking know! I guess I just don’t want it to fucking be his. It would mean she’d have to deal with that fucking asshole for the rest of her and this kid’s lives. I don’t want him anywhere near her, and if it were his, you bet your ass he would try to manipulate her into taking his lying, cheating ass back. I also keep thinking that she wouldn’t keep it if it were his.”

My eyes grow wide at his last statement, and I can feel my heartbeat just a little bit faster. Surely she wouldn’t consider terminating, but what do I really know about adult Everly Hayes? Honestly, I know next to nothing about Ev. She’s so far from the little kid she was when she followed Cam and me around, back in the days when she wore those thick-as-hell glasses and had two braids on her head. Not the one who walks into a pub and goes home with her brother’s friend for a night of mind-blowing, unforgettable sex.

“What did she say when she told you? I mean, Cam, she’s not a baby anymore. You know that, right?”

“Of course I know that! And she may not be a baby to you, knowing how you treat fucking women and seeing how you can’t keep your fucking dick in your pants long enough to care about anyone for more than a night, but she’s my baby sister. This fuck doesn’t deserve to have his DNA sharing hers!”

“Whoa! Back up, Cameron! I was just trying to say that it’s not like she’s sixteen and can’t handle having a child of her own. Everly is smart. She’ll make the right choice.”

“Fuck! Niko. Look, I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean that. I shouldn’t have said that. I know that’s not the case. I’m just frustrated at the thought of her going through this with him or if she decides, alone. She hasn’t even told my parents yet. Just me. I’m worried about her. I know you don’t understand because you didn’t grow up with siblings, never mind a younger sister, but I’m always going to worry about her, and I want to protect her from assholes like this fucking guy, Tate.”

“No, I get it, man. It’s fine. We’re good.” Cam shakes his head, and I decide to keep him talking. It’s not like I brought it up, and to be honest, now I’m itching to get the fuck out of here and speak to Everly myself. I have to know. I need to see her eyes when she answers me. I want to call her right now and ask her if it’s true—is she carrying Tate’s baby, or is the baby mine?

God, this is some Maury Povich type shit, but I know already. I don’t need Maury for this. We didn’t use any fucking condoms the last time. Deep down I know this is my kid. The question is, why hasn’t she told me, and why is she telling Cam it’s her fucking ex’s baby?

 

 

I’m calm as I park my bike in front of her house. Her car is here, so I know she’s home. I slide my leg over my bike, standing face forward toward her house. Pulling my helmet off, I hold it and walk toward the front door. I notice the curtain in her front window move, and I know she’s aware that I’m here. I get to the door and don’t bother knocking. I wait for a beat, then two before hearing the lock on the door click before she opens it.

“Niko,” she says, her voice giving a small shake. She knows why I’m standing at her door, especially when I glance down to her abdomen and I have my answer.

“It’s mine.” I lock eyes with her as I walk in. “It’s my baby, right?”

She blinks and nods, locking the door behind us. “Yes,” she whispers, passing by me.

“Were you going to tell me?” I ask as soon as we enter her kitchen.

“Of course. I just needed to figure it all out first.”

“How long was that going to take?” I ask. Anger is boiling up inside me. Why didn’t she call me?

“Jesus Christ, Niko. I just found out a week ago.”

“You could have called me, we could have talked about it, and I would have been with you.”

“It’s still settling in. I’ve been trying to figure out what to do.”

“Figure what out? What is there to figure out, Everly?”

She lets out a sigh. “It’s not the best timing or the best situation. I honestly didn’t plan on having kids. Not anytime soon, anyway,” she says this all in one sentence, almost like she’s trying to breathe on cue. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything. You don’t have to be involved.”

My stomach drops, and a wave of nausea rolls over me. She wouldn’t get an abortion, would she? Cam said that he didn’t think she’d keep it if the baby were her ex-boyfriend’s, but what about mine?

“What does that even mean, Everly?”

“That I don’t need you. I am financially capable of taking care of a child, so you don’t have to be involved.”

“What the fuck, Ev? You’re going to keep me from my kid?”

She shakes her head. “That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is this was a fluke. I’m letting you know I wasn’t trying to trap you or bind you to me. You’re free to keep fucking around and doing whatever else you do. You won’t be burdened by a baby.”

“Fucking around? Seriously, Everly? That’s all you’ve got? The only fucking I’ve been doing is with you!” I can’t believe her. There is no way I’m letting her push me out of this situation. It’s my kid. “So I’m supposed to take this as a fucking favor? To be able to live the single life without being ’burdened’ with a kid? Or is it I’m an unfit parent in your perfect eyes. That I don’t make enough money.”

“Stop twisting my words, Niko! That’s not it. I’m telling you I don’t hold you responsible.”

“That’s my child, my family, and I’m just as fucking responsible as you are. I will be in his or her life no matter what, and I will fucking fight you for that,” I growl through clenched teeth. My muscles are tight, ready to claw tooth and nail to be in my kid’s life. I’m not ever going to walk out on a child of mine. Ever! She needs to fucking get that through her thick, stubborn head right now.

She blinks at me, clearly stunned. “I thought you’d be happy,” she says in barely more than a whisper.

“Why the fuck would I be happy about not being in my child’s life?”

Her eyes narrow on me. “You think my brother didn’t tell me about all your escapades together? All the girls you went home with, together or alone, and the girls chasing you. You’ve been spreading yourself around since you were a teen, Niko. The only thing that’s changed is your age and the fact that the ones that chase you now are women. You’re just a manwhore, always have been, always will be.”

“Wow! Just wow, Everly. You don’t know anything about me. Which was fucking obvious when you left a Post-it note with the word ‘Thanks’ to my dick. Who does that?”

“He did show me a good time. It would be rude not to.”

I ignore her bullshit comment. “I’ll tell you who does that, a girl. An immature girl who’s been hurt by someone and takes it out on unknowing men. The real kicker is who you ended up being, and leaving without even telling me your real name? That was cool? Cut the shit, Everly.”

“First, that’s a horrible expression,” she says, and I scowl at her even more than I was. God, this woman is infuriating. “Second, love ‘em and leave ‘em, isn’t that your motto?”

“No.”

“Oh, so all the women that line up on a regular basis to inspect your ‘fire hose’ is just an exaggeration?”

“It didn’t use to be, but it is now. Has been for a while, but you refuse to see me.”

“How is now different?”

“You,” I admit. It’s now or never. I’ve been giving her some space, waiting for her to see that I’m into her for more than just a quick and dirty fuck here and there. I don’t want to hide this shit anymore. I’ve wanted her right from the start. I just didn’t want to admit it because of the fucked-up way we started, and because of Cameron. Now that there is a kid involved, though, I’m not waiting for her to figure out what I already know.

She rolls her eyes, arms tightly locked in front of her. “Oh, please. You aren’t going to charm me like all the others.”

“Charm you? I’m fucking serious, Everly.”

“Not going to happen,” she says with a shake of her head.

God, this fucking stubborn woman. “Why not?”

“Because I know this will never work, and it’s better to be rid of you in my life.”

A growl rips from me, and I charge forward. Her eyes widen, and I stop inches from her. I press my hand against her abdomen, and she lets out a gasp. “I’m part of you now. There’s no getting rid of me. Ever!”

Our eyes lock, and I drop my forehead to hers.

“Why would you want to stick around?” she asks, and I hear the defeat crawling in.

“Because I want this. I want you, us, Ev. I want it all with you.”

“Because I’m pregnant.”

“No! Because I like you, Everly. Shit, that’s such a dumb word. I more than like you, but I don’t know a fucking word to describe it right now. Even with all your bullshit, with all the shit you’ve got going on in that crazy head of yours, I want you. I want you to be mine. You and me, exclusive. I think I knew, even after that first night with you, that you were different. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I would have asked you to stay the next morning if you hadn’t disappeared on me. You being pregnant now with my kid, well, that’s just a bonus. But this thing between us was there before the baby, and I have the text messages to prove it.”

“Then why come to me now saying all this?”

“You fucking lied to me, remember? You played me and left me, which created a whole other situation thanks to your Dear John. And I’ve tried. Don’t you dare try to say I haven’t. I also tried to give you some space with you turning me down left and right. Next time I won’t because obviously you can’t get out of that head of yours.”

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to be the one that always does all the right things? Always the one with the good grades, who’s praised daily by parents and a brother who think you can do no wrong? The baby of the family?” she says with anger, but there is also a tremor filling her words. “I’m twenty-five years old, Niko, and I’m still being treated like that little girl my family always had up on a pedestal.”

“You want me to call you Princess now?”

Her eyes narrow on me, and she ignores my comment. “I had no life experience when I met Tate, and I fell. Then I fell flat on my face. Of course, that was two years after I walked around thinking that I had the best boyfriend in the world, only to find out he’s been screwing every chick within a four-mile radius.”

I look away but quickly flip my gaze back to her. I can feel my nostrils flaring, but I say nothing. I know I’ve been with a lot of women, but I never lied to one of them about what was happening between us. Never made a promise to commit to more than I knew I was ready for. She’s placing blame on me that doesn’t qualify in my case.

“That’s right. You know exactly what I’m talking about because you’re just the same as he is, aren’t you, Nikolas?”

“I’m nothing like him!” I growl at her, and for a minute I take a step back. When I realize what I’ve done, I square my shoulders and look her directly in her eyes. I don’t want to scare her, but she needs to know. She needs to understand that I’m not him, but she’s determined to vilify me because of this guy.

This isn’t going anywhere. I’m so pissed right now, and I know there is no way to get through her thick skull right now.

“Even if you’re not the same, Niko, I’m not sure I can trust that.”

“Trust me, you mean.” I make it a statement, not a question because that’s the root of the problem here. She doesn’t trust me even though I’ve never done anything to cause her not to. “That’s the root of the issue between us. I don’t think it’s fair, Everly, that you place the blame of another man’s sins on my shoulders. I’ve never once lied to a woman I’ve been with, and I haven’t lied to you.”

She doesn’t say anything and just shrugs like she did that first night that I found out who she was after she lied to me.

“Maybe you should think about who the liar is in this situation and evaluate your issues instead of putting them on me. Unlike you, I started off with nothing but the truth. So far it’s looking like Tate’s bad habits have rubbed off on you, and now you’re saying I’m the one you don’t think you can trust? I don’t fucking think so, Ev. It’s me that shouldn’t trust you, but I’ve laid out my feelings as bluntly as any man can, and you still keep pulling the same bullshit card! You want to place blame on someone? I suggest you start by looking in the goddamn mirror!” I yell at her, my temper rising to the point that I’m ready to punch the wall.

She stares for a moment, stunned by my statement. Good. Maybe she should fucking marinate on that for a while, but not with me standing here.

“I need to get out of here before we both say something we can’t take back later.” I grab my bike helmet that I’d placed on her entryway table when I walked in and stop at the door. Without turning to look at her again, I take a deep breath before speaking. “Don’t do anything without letting me know, Everly. I should have a say in this. I have a right to know. Stop being selfish, and think about the fact that this is more than about you and your past. It’s more than me. There is a baby now. Our baby, and I’m not fucking going anywhere as long as you’re carrying my kid. So grow up, little girl. Things are about to change regardless of whether you like it or not.”

I don’t wait. I don’t look at her. I close the door and walk to my bike, start her up, and get the hell away from Everly fucking Hayes. For now.

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