That redheaded woman seemed to be appearing everywhere, first with Hawk then with Roman, and then back with Hawk. I didn’t know how I should feel about that. Either Ms. Redhead wasn’t all there, or Hawk was hiding something from me.

And then it struck me that I shouldn’t even care.

In Hawk’s own words, we were ‘friends who fucked.’ Nothing more. We had no claim to each other, no reason to be jealous. Both Hawk and Roman were serial womanizers, and she just happened to maybe have had them both. But unlike Roman, Hawk was more business orientated now, and his womanizing ways had decreased over the years.

Walking out of the office and across the street to the restaurant, I saw Rebekah already seated and waiting for me. It was late and I was hungry, so hopefully, this meeting wouldn’t take too long. She spotted me from across the room and stood to greet me. We didn’t hug or kiss the way we used to. Instead, there was an awkward exchange of hand and shuffling before we both sat down.

“Thank you for coming,” she said, laying her napkins across her lap.

When I went to pick up the menu, she stopped me. “Oh,” Rebekah said, looking shy. “I hope you don’t mind but I ordered for us. I figured you still like the same things.”

Before I could respond, a bowl of carbonara was placed between my knife and fork. It smelled absolutely divine and my stomach grumbled loud enough for Rebekah to hear.

“I’m glad you approve,” she said, smiling.

“Thank you,” I replied gratefully. “I forgot to eat lunch and I’m starving.”

I tucked into my food, but when I looked over at Rebekah, she was toying with half a cherry tomato. She wasn’t smiling, and there was a sadness to her. Perhaps she’d seen for herself the real man she was married to.

“Is everything okay?” I asked tentatively. She was in a completely different mood from when I’d walked in only moments earlier.

She placed her fork down and swallowed hard.

“What did you want to talk about?” I continued when Rebekah didn’t say anything.

She wiped her mouth with the napkin. “He said you would know.”

I was taken aback by her words. “Who said I’d know what?”

“Roman.”

“Roman? I haven’t spoken to him since the wedding, and you were there for the entire conversation.”

She appeared visibly sick and I realized she must know.

“You saw them together,” was all she said.

I placed the fork down, my appetite suddenly gone.

“I’m not sure what you expect me to say.”

“I want to know what you saw.”

I could feel my blood pressure rise. “Why can’t Roman fill the gaps for you?”

“Because he’s a coward.”

“Yeah, I know that...” I paused. “Look, Rebekah... you didn’t tell me that this was the meaning of our dinner and I’m kind of feeling railroaded here.”

“When I rang, it was because I genuinely wanted to see you. But after we spoke, well... things changed.”

“What changed?”

Rebekah’s face reddened, tears ever so close. “I caught them together.”

I wasn’t sure how she expected me to respond, so I didn’t.

“When I confronted him about it, he got all angry and spiteful, saying I should talk to you about it. When I asked why, he left, and I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”

“It was a painful thing to witness, Rebekah. To be brutally honest, I just wanted to get out of there at the time.”

“She was my bridesmaid.”

“You... were my best friend. I considered you a sister.”

She played with the seam of her napkin. “I guess I got what I deserved, huh?”

“I don’t wish that on anyone, but I hope that now you can see why the path to forgiveness has been so hard for me.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I want to try and fix this,” she waved her hands around, pointing first at me and then herself, “... and try to explain that this isn’t my sole purpose of seeing you. Until, we... until last night.”

I scoffed. I didn’t mean to, it just slipped out. “What do you have to explain, Rebekah? I saw you and him, and I know how sex works. You spread your legs and his cock goes in.”

“You don’t need to be so crass, Britta.”

“Let’s not pretend to be holier-than-thou. I don’t need an explanation, and I shouldn’t have to give you one based on what Roman did to you at your wedding.”

Her mouth dropped opened in shock. “What?”

Shit.

She’d just caught Roman and the redhead, but that doesn’t mean she knew about the barrel shed rendezvous.

Crap on a biscuit.

“He told you to ask me so I can only assume he knows I saw them.” I sat back in the chair and exhaled. “I went looking for the toilet while everyone was dancing, and the line-up was twenty deep in the house, so the waitress told me about the barrel shed. As soon as I started walking down one of the aisles, I heard people going at it. When I got closer, I saw the redhead bent over one of the wine barrels and Roman behind her, fucking.”

Tears slipped down Rebekah’s cheeks, and I felt an ounce of guilt like I was the one who had deceived her.

“That asshole,” she finally mouthed after a long silence. “He couldn’t even be faithful on our wedding night?”

Again, I didn’t know what to say. I was the wrong person to be consoling with.

“So,” she started, suddenly perking up. It was such a transformation, and I was caught off guard. “How are you and Hawk?”

I looked at her in confusion. “What... that’s it? You’ve got nothing else to say about Roman?”

“I’ve got plenty to say about him, but I organized this dinner to spend with you and repairing what was broken. I want to know more about you and Hawk.”

She looked to me hopeful, like someone who’d deliver a love story so grand and so perfect, it would help her forget the mess of her own marriage.

“He’s great. You know my family loves him.” It was easy to talk about because it wasn’t a lie.

“Have you organized any of the wedding so far?”

Ahh... this was when the lying really started.

“Um... bits and pieces, nothing set in stone just yet.”

“That’s so great.” She smiled warmly, and I felt it was genuine. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you.”

We sat in silence for a while, both pretending to be interested in our food.

It was Rebekah who spoke first. “It didn’t just happen, you know?” I hazarded a guess that she was referring to her and Roman. “It wasn’t meant to happen. I didn’t want to love someone you did.”

“I’m having a tough time believing that, Rebekah.”

“You were always at work, and when you were home you went to bed early. Every time I came to visit, or we were out, you just left me with him, and then one night we just really hit it off. Perhaps we had too much to drink, I don’t remember, but there was a definite spark there between us. And as time went on, that spark ignited into a flame.”

“Sounds poetic,” I said, failing to hide my sarcasm.

“Don’t be like that,” she said as if reprimanding a child.

“So, let me get this straight... because I worked too much, that gave you permission to fuck my fiancé at the time?”

Rebekah shook her head in denial. “I didn’t plan it, Britta. We didn’t plan to fall in love, it just... happened.”

“I can’t help who you fall in love with, Rebekah, but don’t point the finger claiming it was because of me you two fell into each other’s arms. That’s not fair to me... I was the one who was hurt by your actions.”

“I’m sorry, that’s not how I wanted to say it. I guess it was just a tricky situation.”

“I guess so,” I agreed, my nails digging into the wooden armrest.

“So...” I said, wanting to change the direction of the conversation, “... what are you going to do about your new predicament?”

Rebekah swallowed hard, tears brimming her eyes. “I guess, I’ll have the marriage annulled.” She shook her head in frustration. “I’m such an idiot. I was a fool to think he’d changed. They never do. Even when he promised me the world, I should have laughed in his face.”

“Sounds like Roman.” I curled some more pasta around my fork. Now that we got the blame game out of the way, my appetite had returned. Rebekah, however, had pushed her plate of salad to the side.

“I want to try to rebuild what I’ve broken. That is, if you’ll let me?”

“It will be a work in progress, that’s all I can offer right now.”

Rebekah seemed pleased with my response. She probably half expected me to have tipped my wine over her head by now, so by those standards, this was going well. “I can handle that,” she agreed with a smile. “God...” She laughed. “I can’t believe you and Hawk are an item.”

Should I tell her it was fake, just because I didn’t want to attend their wedding as a loner?

Nope.

“Yeah...” I half laughed. “It’s always the things you least expect.”

“I think it was expected,” Rebekah smiled, bringing some life back to her eyes. “He always looked at you with such affection. Then as you got older that affection turned into something... a little naughty.”

I looked at her in skeptical amusement. “Something naughty?”

“You know what I mean. He looks at you like he wants to eat you. You were always so nervous around him growing up that you didn’t notice. But we all did.”

Could she be right?

Was that why my brothers had always been so anti?

I looked at Rebekah who was smiling while telling her stories. It made me miss what we had. The gossiping. The sharing of secrets.

The waitress walked past, and she ordered us both a mojito. Our favorite.

“You know,” she started, finally getting rid of her napkin. “I miss you, and I miss your family.”

I nodded in understanding because she had been really close to everyone. And they loved her back. She was an added sister to my brothers, and my parents loved her like she was their daughter. That was why it wasn’t just me who was so torn up when she and Roman hooked up.

My phone started to ring in my handbag, and I was kind of glad it did. I didn’t want to become emotional with Rebekah. It was too early in our reconciliation for that to happen.

“Excuse me,” I said while pressing accept.

“Hi Slate, what’s—”

“Guess what?” he yelled down the line, causing me to flinch.

“What’s happened?”

“A date is what’s happening.”

“Ahh... I didn’t—”

“Too late, no if’s or but’s. It’s tomorrow night. Shave your legs and wear something pretty.”

“Jesus, Slate, can you not—”

“I have the perfect man for you. And hell, I’ll even pay for the date. Be at Dominguez at six-thirty. He’ll be wearing a blue-collared shirt and gray jacket. He’s seen a photo of you and knows exactly what you look like. Don’t be late.”

And just like that, the call ended.

Fuck.

Rebekah was sitting across from me, frowning at my frazzled face, and I could only hope and pray she didn’t hear any of that.

Double fuck.

How exactly was I meant to explain this to Hawk?

I thought for a moment before chiding myself. Who was I kidding? Hawk and I were just friends with benefits. I didn’t owe him an explanation. I was sure he’d have an extra side of action somewhere down the line. Or the nights when I stayed at home.

The thought was enough to kill any good mood I had. I didn’t want it that way. But that was Hawk, and he liked to be the boss, and right now I was enjoying the ride too much to put my foot down.

“That sounded like an interesting conversation,” Rebekah probed.

I waved a hand dismissively as our mojitos were placed on the table.

I might need a few of these.

It was just Slate, carrying on the way Slate does. For the next hour, we chatted about life and holidays. It wasn’t anything too deep. It was only our early stage of reconnecting.

But by the time it came to leave, and we said our amicable farewells, we agreed to meet up again in the near future.

With one problem out of the way, I now had another. And that came in the form of a dreaded blind date. 

***

TUESDAY SPED ITS WAY through before I could get a good grasp on it. I’d only seen Hawk once today, and even then, it was only for a fleeting moment. He was barking orders into his phone yelling stuff about “what an absurd idea” something was, and he “wouldn’t even consider it.” I’d stopped to listen in, his back to me while he continued ranting. Whoever was on the other end sure was a sucker for punishment. When his voice went low and even, my heart began to pound. That was when Hawk was at his most serious.

“If you continue to probe into affairs that aren’t yours, you can consider all business agreements null and void. Remember, I don’t need you. You need me.”

I’d heard Hawk talking business before, but this terrified me. It was a side of him I rarely saw because, like most things, he had business under control.

The next time I saw him, Hawk was walking into my office with Slate. I was busy searching for a folder on my computer that I had apparently moved somewhere else by accident. Slate sat opposite Hawk, and I stood near the desk when I realized they weren’t going anywhere.

I looked up over my computer and glanced between them. “Can I help you both?”

Slate was smiling, and I realized like a slap in the face why he was here.

Please don’t say anything, I silently begged.

“Sooo,” he started, rubbing his hand evilly together. “Are you ready for tonight?”

Damn it.

“Ready for what?” Hawk interrupted.

“Young Britta here has a date.” He was almost jubilant and I felt sick.

I warned myself not to look, but it was like I didn’t have any control over my eyeballs. I glanced at Hawk who was now sitting, an ankle over one knee, a pen flicking between his fingers. I could tell he was mad because his jaw was twitching uncontrollably.

“You have a date?” he finally asked through clench teeth.

“It’s not my idea,” I said, looking back to Slate for back up. He gave none. Instead, he was casting a curious glance between Hawk and me but failed to piece any of the puzzle together.

“Can’t I cancel?” I asked, hoping to get the answer I wanted.

Slate shook his head. “You certainly can not. You’re in your prime. And just like Mom said, now’s the time to lock in someone, before they realize we’re all batshit crazy and you end up being a lonely spinster with ten cats.”

“But aren’t you seeing someone else?” Hawk asked, a wicked and somewhat challenging glimmer in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Slate interjected on my behalf. “But that’s just for fun. I’m trying to get her tied down like she wants. You know... thinking long-term.”

“Wow,” I said deadpan. “You’re really selling it to me. Tied down... long-term.”

“You know what I mean. Nothing wrong with any of those things.”

“Because you’re living proof of it,” I joked with my brother, but what I was saying was the truth.

“It’s different with me, I don’t have a ticking clock, and this guy might be able to rectify that for you.”

I shook my head in amusement. Slate always got in my business and didn’t care if anything he said could be deemed as crossing the line. I swear, all of them would only be happy if I were married, and pushing out six babies just like our mother.

“A blind date seems a bit extreme,” Hawk offered, locking eyes with mine.

“Well, do you have a better idea?” Slate asked, proposing the challenge.

Hawk winked at me on the side Slate couldn’t see. I smiled, but that didn’t stop the vein in his neck from twitching overtime.

It seemed that Hawk was struggling with his own terms of the agreement.

I gave it a few hours before he would crack.