Macy thought about Cody all day. She went into work at ten and worked until two, wrestling dogs and cats and even one iguana all day, but even with all the distractions, Cody sat there in the forefront of her mind.

Once she was home and in the shower her thoughts turned from the things they talked about to the memories of their first time together up on the hill. It was her sixteenth birthday. Cody had wanted to “go all the way” a lot sooner than that, but she’d held back. She had always been afraid of becoming her mother, and she had it in her head that the longer she waited to have sex, the less possibility there was of that happening. She remembered that day like it was yesterday and now as she stood under the warm spray, she closed her eyes and called it up.

Her birthday was in April, so the snow had melted and it was warm out. They’d gotten a lot of rain that year so everything was green and in full bloom. The sun was out that day, and Cody had told her he wanted to take her on a picnic to his favorite spot. It was a place that he and Keller used to go to escape when their father was on a rampage. They’d stay up there sometimes for days, waiting for him to calm down and forget about whatever it was, in hopes that they wouldn’t get beaten. Cody started sharing the spot with her when he came to live on the ranch, and it became their favorite place.

He had a dirt bike back in those days. Keller told him he’d help him buy his first bike when he got his license. He had an appointment to take the test, but for the time being, he was still traveling on the off-road motorcycle. He came by her house and picked her up with the saddlebags of the bike stuffed full. They drove up to their spot and Cody surprised her by spreading out a blanket and then unloading enough food for an army. He’d brought sourdough bread, salami, two different kinds of cheese, olives, fruit, pickles, chips, and chocolate cake.

“Where did you get all of this?” she’d asked him. Cody smiled and said:

“I had a helper in the kitchen.”

“Dad?” Macy’s father had begun to mellow in his old age and was suddenly taking a slight interest in her, but she was still surprised he’d take the time to help Cody with something like that.

“Yep. I told him it was to celebrate your birthday and he…” Cody hesitated. Macy rolled her eyes.

“He forgot it was my birthday and felt guilty?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Well, your part of the gesture is wonderful. Thank you, Cody. No one has ever done anything like this for me before.”

“I’m going to get you a present,” he told her, “As soon as I get ahold of some cash.”

“I don’t want a present.” Back in those days if Cody had cash, it meant he’d been up to something he wasn’t supposed to. She didn’t want him stealing to buy her a present. “This picnic is present enough.”

They ate their food and drank a half a bottle of wine that he’d probably stolen somewhere, and then they lay back on the blanket and took a nap together in the sun. By the time they woke up, the sun was going down and the moon was already high in the sky. “Wow, that was the best nap I’ve ever had,” Cody said with a smile.

“Me too. Just think, in a couple of years we can get our own place and we can take naps like that together whenever we want.”

“Yeah. I’ll bet Dax will give us a house here on the ranch.”

“Do you really want to stay here?” she asked him as she watched the stars begin to appear as the sky darkened overhead.

“Of course. I’ve always wanted to be a part of the club. You know that. I want to be president someday.”

“I know. I guess I was just hoping things might change when we’re older. You know, if we ever want to get married and have kids…”

He rolled over on his side so he was facing her. “I want to marry you, Macy, and I want to have kids with you. But why couldn’t we do all of that here? Lots of the guys have wives and kids. I’d be faithful to you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Even though Macy had made Cody wait, she’d never been given any reason to believe he’d been with anyone else. She trusted him explicitly. “It’s not that. I guess what I worry about is raising kids that have to see the things we’ve seen. This place is adults first, kids second, Cody. You know that as well as I do.”

“Yeah, I guess. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. Look, you’re not your mom and I’m not my dad. We’re not going to mess our kids up. This is a beautiful place, and they’ll have acres to roam and play while they’re growing up. We’ll never have to worry about money to pay rent or a mortgage because as long as I work for Dax, he won’t charge us anything. They’ll have a good life here, Macy.” He lifted his hand and touched the side of her face. Back then all it took was a simple touch from him and everything inside of her melted. “I promise you, we’ll all have a good life.” That night before they made love and after, he’d made her another promise…that he’d never, ever leave her alone. He’d broken that promise and she’d messed up their chances for ever having kids. Jimmy wasn’t going anywhere, and as long as they lived on the ranch it was going to be uncomfortable running into him at every turn. But none of that stopped her from wanting him.

When she got out of the shower she dressed in a pair of black yoga pants and a white tank top. She slipped her running shoes on and jogged over to the clubhouse. It was early yet, not even nine o’clock, but Cody was nowhere to be found. She thought about just going to his room and knocking on the door, but she was so afraid one of the club girls, Lucy in particular, would open it up. She was about to leave when she saw Jimmy. He was sitting at the end of the bar with a pair of crutches propped up next to him. He looked pretty good for a guy that had just totaled his bike the week before. She wasn’t sure if he wanted her to acknowledge him or not, but as she started to walk by, he made eye contact with her. She felt obligated to stop then.

“How are you? How’s the arm and leg?” she asked. He picked up his drink in his left hand. She could see that the right hand’s fingers coming out of the cast were red and swollen.

“Good.”

“Are you getting all the help you need?”

“And then some. Thanks for checking in, Macy, but I’m fine.”

“Oh…well, I just thought, I mean, I thought that we were friends.”

His brown eyes rested on her face for a long time before he finally said, “We never really were friends, Mace. You were Cody’s friend and once he was gone you became my lover. We can’t go back to that, so honestly, I don’t think we have anything to go back to. You can stop trying. I know it’s only because you feel guilty.”

“Don’t say that, Jimmy. I care about you. I really do.”

“Then leave me alone, Macy, okay?”

Wow. She was shocked at the tone he was using with her, but the words hurt even more. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” he said, downing the drink in his hand. “Me too.” He got up then and used his crutches to move away from her as quickly as he could. He made it as far as the pool tables. Macy watched him for a few minutes as he flirted with the waitress and two of the bartenders. Then instead of heading for the front door as she’d intended, she went over to the stairs. She took them two at a time. She missed Cody and all she wanted at that moment was to bury her face in his hard chest and let him hold her.

She was able to slip up the stairs without anyone seeing her…at least obviously. When she made it to his room, she almost changed her mind. She raised her hand to knock and before her knuckles even hit the door, it was pulled open. “Hi—ESP?” she asked with a smile.

“Yep. No. I was going down to get a beer.”

“Oh…okay, well, don’t let me keep you.”

“Did you need something?” Macy tried to think of an excuse, but when she opened her mouth the plain truth came out:

“Just you.” She didn’t wait for his response then either. She launched herself at him and covered his mouth with hers. Cody stumbled back slightly, but put one of his feet out to kick the bedroom door closed. Then he lifted her up off her feet and held her as they continued the kiss. When he finally had to take a breath, he sat her down and looked down at her flushed face and said, “What’s going on?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” she said, breathlessly. “I can’t stop thinking about us, and all the promises we made to each other. I was holding back because of Jimmy and the loyalty I felt toward him…but Jimmy’s out of my life. I want you, Cody…if you still want me.”

He smiled at her and moved a lock of hair out of her face. He lowered his down so that his lips hovered right above hers and snaked one arm around her waist and pulled her back up against him, tightly. His hard body felt so good pressed up against hers, and the feel of his warm breath against her lips was sending little shock waves through her body. She pushed up on her toes and pressed her lips back into his, and he picked her up and carried her over to the bed as they kissed. He dropped her down on it and without a word, he began stripping off his clothes. Macy didn’t need him to say the words to know he still wanted her. She took his cue and started getting undressed herself.

When he was naked, he leaned down over her and kissed her again. He wasn’t going softly, or tentatively. His kiss was demanding and passionate, and she kissed him back with the same vigor. He pushed her back further to the center of the bed and climbed up over her. That night at the bar had been quick, to satisfy a need. She looked up into his hazel eyes as he pulled out of the kiss and she could see that today he intended to take his time. She could feel his erection growing against her as he pressed his body into hers. He didn’t put his weight into her, but he let their skin rub together, the hard against the soft. Her nipples puckered and hardened against his chest and he moved the kiss from her lips to the soft, sensitive skin of her neck. He kissed it softly first, and then he pulled a piece of it in between his lips and sucked on it, and then he began to bite her, softly. The way he took little nibbles across the front of her throat was erotic and it made her tingle all over.

He let one of his hands work its way up her side until it was covering a breast and then as he sucked on her neck, he massaged and tweaked and pinched and pulled while she writhed underneath him and moaned. At one point, she breathed out his name into his ear and felt him shiver and heard him groan. She loved that he wanted her so badly. She made up her mind at that moment that they were meant to be together just like she’d always known they were…and she wasn’t going to feel guilty about that any longer.