That night Ian and Sara stayed in Saxton’s extra room. Sara was vividly aware that this was the same room she slept in not long ago, when she had run from Saxton, terrified of sleeping with him. She felt much more comfortable sleeping there now, under these circumstances.
In the morning, she made breakfast for the three of them, packed a lunch for Ian, and made a lunch for Saxton that she left in his room. After dropping Ian off at school, she went to work, stopping back at Saxton’s after her morning shift.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
“I’m going to try getting a shower today. I need to get out of this bed.”
“You’re not ready for that. You can barely move.”
Saxton was healing well, but his stab wound was deep and the pain was clear on his face every time he moved. Last night before bed and this morning, Sara had helped him get to the bathroom, but it had taken a lot of her help to get him there. The idea of him standing in the shower in hot water alone was still a far-off goal.
“And the hot water might make you pass out,” Sara added.
“I’m fine.” He narrowed his eyes slightly at her, like he did whenever she tried too hard to baby him.
“Why would you risk it trying to get up and about too soon? You could tear your stitches open.”
“I’ve been stabbed before, Sara. Probably will be again. Stop worrying so much. The sooner I get up and get moving, the faster I’ll be able to get back. My MC doesn’t just run itself. The guys have already been calling me, telling me to come back.”
“Don’t you have a second in command?” She didn’t know much about MCs, but any organization had a second in command, then a third, fourth, and so on down the chain of command.
“That’s not the point.”
“Well, can you at least wait until I’m here? I’ll work a few more hours into this evening, then come back with Ian and I’ll help you get into the shower.”
“Fine. But I can’t be held accountable if I stink this place up. It’s been days since I showered.”
“Oh, I know.” She pinched her nose and waved her hand in front of it. “You already stink the place up.”
She winked at him, and he rolled his eyes in response.
“I’ll bring something home to eat from the diner, okay?” After the words were out, she realized that she’d said “home.” Saxton didn’t react. Maybe he hadn’t heard her. Or maybe it just hadn’t registered. She couldn’t start thinking of this place as home. Not even close.
She had to remind herself that Saxton wasn’t her type. He was too much like Carter. Too dangerous, too much risk for being arrested. She couldn’t be one of those wives who had a husband in jail and spent her days visiting him. She didn’t want that sort of life. She needed a steady man who would care for her and be there for Ian.
Sara had always been self sufficient, doing things on her own as much as she could without anyone’s help. Of course people like her neighbor were vital to helping with Ian, but she didn’t need a man in her life. She managed to pay the bills, even if things were tight, and she had Ian to keep her from feeling lonely. She had given her son all of her attention and affection for six years now, and didn’t think she wanted it be divided.
That was, until she met Saxton. Somehow, he was stirring up old feelings, old desires for that loving relationship she hadn’t had in so long. When she had been with Ian’s father, it hadn’t been good, but it was nice to have someone to call her pet names and kiss her and hug her. He’d been there when she found out she was pregnant. He’d held her while she cried and they talked and he said they’d figure it out together. Then, he stopped returning her calls and dropped out of thier lives entirely.
As hard as she put a romantic relationship out of her mind, it’s not like she could avoid hearing about someone’s love life. If it wasn’t the occasional romance on TV, then it was her friend’s bragging about their latest boyfriends. Seemed like every week, Jessica had a new man. Sara would show up for work and Jessica would have a huge grin on her face. It took less than a minute or two before she started gushing about her latest date. Sara always listened and tried to look excited, but didn’t care much. No matter how great the guy seemed, in a few days, a few weeks, maybe a few months if Jessica was lucky, she’d be there with a frown or some tears, ranting about how this guy did her wrong. And then Sara would be glad again that she hadn’t bothered with a relationship in years.
Saxton was changing all that, and Sara didn’t think she liked it. She didn’t want to start feeling lonely or to miss having someone like that. But staying with Saxton, cleaning his house, cooking for him, and taking care of him, felt so much like being a wife that it both scared her and excited her. She couldn’t deny that it felt nice. But she tried.
She almost felt like she should hug or kiss him goodbye when she left, that’s how real it was starting to feel. Like she should say, “Hi honey, I’m home,” when she returned. That made her want to run out the door and never look back.
“I’m off to work,” she said. “Call me if something major happens.”
“Something more major than being stabbed?”
“Something like… tearing open your stitches or falling out of bed, or hearing a burglar break in.”
“You’re going to come save me, are you?” He smirked at her.
“If a burglar comes, no. I’m going to call the cops.”
She got to work and had to fight thoughts of Saxton all day. Several times, she resisted the urge to pick up her phone to call and check on him. He was fine, she told herself. He was a grown man who didn’t need her, and she had very little responsibility to him. They were not in a relationship and she wasn’t any sort of family. She barely knew him. She only owed him as much as her guilt forced her to repay. And that would be taking care of him until he could get up and walk and be back on his feet. Once he could get up on his own, she didn’t need to be there any longer.
That night, after she’d fed them all dinner and cleaned up, she got Ian settled watching TV and went up to Saxton’s room.
“Ready to do this?” she asked.
“I don’t think I need your help.”
“Well, let’s just make sure.”
He flung the blankets back and swung his legs over, then slid his feet to the floor. Sara was right by his side, and put her arm around his waist as he stood. He took a step forward, somewhat shuffling as he moved his other foot. Together, they made their way to the bathroom. He was right, though. He probably didn’t need her help as much as she thought he did. Maybe he was much closer to being healed up and ready to get out of bed than she wanted him to be, if she was being honest with herself.
She’d decided that when he could get up and get moving, she could go home. But she wasn’t ready for that to happen just yet. A few more days with him, maybe. A few more days of this pretending, then she could go back to her old life, to her normal routine of work and caring for Ian. Then she could go back to not needing or wanting any sort of romantic relationship.
Once they got into his bathroom, she closed the door and turned on the water. He had already pulled down his sweatpants and had a hand on the counter, trying to step out of them. She bent down and helped get the elastic over his foot, then the other. His shirt was more difficult, since it required moving his arms in a way that affected his wound. He grunted as she pulled his shirt up and over his head, making him raise his arms just enough to slip out of his sleeves.
He stood before her in just his boxer shorts and she tried not to look. But his muscular body was every bit as perfect as she imagined it would be and the parts of him she had seen before had not been exaggerated in her memory. He was gorgeous.
The hair on his chin had grown in since he hadn’t been up to shave, giving him a slightly softer look in the face. His beard hid the sharp lines of his jaw and made him come off much warmer than he had with a closely trimmed beard.
Being so close to him made his eyes even more intense. They sparkled dark, outlined by his dark beard and hair. They stood out against his light skin. When her eyes moved away from his face, every inch of him was tight and thick with muscle. He looked like he could lift a truck or crush a skull in his bare hands. Except for the white padding covering his stomach wound.
“Guess we need to take this off.” Sara looked at the bandage. Did he have more bandages to replace this one, or would she need to run out and get more?
“Just pull it off real fast.”
“This isn’t a band-aid, Saxton. You can’t do that with something like this.”
Sara picked at the corner of the white silk tape and pulled back on it carefully. Once the tape was removed from around the bandage, she even more carefully peeled it back, stopping anytime he breathed sharply or jerked back. The bandage stuck in places, and she scrunched her own face as if she was in pain removing it.
“Wait,” he said.
She looked up at him and his face was twisted in pain. Sweat had broken out on his forehead. He seemed to no longer be a fan of the fast yank and pull.
“Let me just get in there,” he said.
“But what about the bandage?”
“It’ll come off much easier if it’s wet.” He pushed his boxers to his knees.
Sara quickly stepped back and turned away.
“Really?” He let out an audible sigh. “You’re going to make me bend over to get these off just so you don’t have to look at my junk?”
She turned back around and as quickly as possible, pushed his boxers to the floor and held them while he stepped out. She didn’t look. Even if she wanted to.
The shower door reached all the way to the floor, which made it easy for him to step into the hot water. The water drenched the bandage and it fell away, landing on the floor of the shower in a wet glop. Sara sat on the toilet’s lid, waiting for him to finish.
When the water shut off, she grabbed a towel and walked it over to him.
“Is it bleeding at all?” she asked.
He glanced down. “Don’t think so.”
“Do you have other bandages? I can run out and get some.”
“Check the closet.”
Sara went to the closet and searched through the items, coming away with a package of large bandages.
“I don’t see any tape, though.”
“I have some duct tape downstairs.”
“Are you serious?”
He shrugged. “Why not?”
“It’ll hurt when you take it off again.”
“I doubt it’ll hurt worse than being stabbed.”
She sighed. “Okay.” After retrieving the duct tape from downstairs and getting him patched up again, she helped him get back into bed. “Need anything?”
“Nope.”
She spent a quiet evening with Ian before heading up to bed. She checked on Saxton one more time, found him sleeping already, and went to lie down with Ian.