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Crazy, Stupid Love by K.L. Grayson (33)

Lincoln

“Why are you crying? I thought you loved this color.”

“I do.” Adley sniffs and uses the sleeve of her shirt to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

“Is it the wrong shade? If you don’t like it, just say the word. I can have the entire room repainted by tomorrow.”

“It’s not the shade. I love the shade.”

“Is it the gray? It dried a little dark. I wondered if you’d still like it. I don’t mind changing it.”

“No.” Adley walks across the room and takes my hand, sending an electric current straight to my heart. “It’s not the gray. I love the gray. I love it all. I love that you stayed to help me and that you started on the yellow. But you know you didn’t have to do all of this, right?”

Her tears are falling faster, and my heart breaks inside my chest. I want nothing more than to hold her and comfort her, to calm whatever storm is brewing in her head, but despite our good moments today, I’m still not one-hundred-percent sure that’s what she wants. And her needs will always come before my own.

Reluctantly, I pull my hand from hers and shove them inside my pockets, because I’m not sure where her tears are coming from. For all I know, she’s about to give me a this isn’t going to work talk. But I felt a surge of love today like nothing I’ve ever felt before, so I’m going to try one more time.

“I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to,” I tell her. “I want to take care of you. I want to help you. Whatever you need, I want to give you. Whether it’s a fresh coat of paint, a fancy crib from that overpriced furniture store you love, or a double chocolate fudge milkshake in the middle of the night. If it makes you happy, I want to give it to you.”

She nods and blinks, pushing out another wave of tears. “You make me happy. You’re going to be the best father this child could ask for.”

“Adley.” I take a step forward, seconds away from saying screw it and pulling her into my arms. “Please don’t cry, baby. It kills me to see you cry. What do you need? Is there something I can get you? Is it the hormones? Dammit, I knew I should’ve finished reading that pregnancy book.”

Her lips part. “You’re reading a pregnancy book?”

“Of course I am. I need to be prepared for this baby, and I know nothing about children. Like, nothing. I know even less about women’s hormones.”

“It’s not my hormones.”

“Okay, so it’s something else. I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I’m going to need you to be a little more specific here. Please keep in mind that I’m a guy, and as much as I wish I could, I cannot read your mind.”

She laughs, and I mentally pat myself on the back. Laughing is way better than crying.

“I need you to hug me,” she says. “Can you do that?”

Can I? Can I hug her without letting my feelings spiral out of control? Hell no, but that’s not going to stop me. If the woman I love—the mother of my child—needs a hug, she’s getting a damn hug.

I take a step forward, and next thing I know, Adley throws herself at me. For the first time in two weeks, I feel an iota of peace.

Her fists clench against the back of my shirt, and I tighten my hold on her as she sobs against my chest.

Holding her in my arms is like coming home. It’s familiar and comfortable and perfect, and how in the hell am I supposed to let her go?

I’m not. It’s as simple as that. I’m going to follow her around like a puppy for the rest of my life, and I’ll happily take whatever scraps she’s willing to throw my way.

She must be using her female voodoo mind to read my thoughts, because she tightens her arms around me as though she, too, is afraid she won’t be able to let go.

“I miss you.” Her warm breath fans my neck. Without letting me go, she reaches up and wipes her face. “I miss touching you and kissing you. I miss cuddling up next to you at night and feeling the warmth of your body in the morning. I miss the way you’d stop what you were doing to quiz me. I just miss you. I miss everything about you.”

“Adley.” Pressing my face against her hair, I breathe in her vanilla scent. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I will always be here for you. Always.”

Shaking her head, she steps back. “You don’t understand.”

I’m forced to let her go, and when my arms fall from her body, she catches my hand.

“Then explain it to me, baby. Tell me what you need—what you want—and I’ll give it to you.”

“You.” Her bright eyes shine up at me, and with that one word, she steals the breath from my lungs. “I want you, and I need you.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you. I love you, Lincoln, and I never should’ve pushed you away. I shouldn’t have challenged you to prove your love to me. I know you love me. I knew it the second the words left your mouth, but I’d just found out I was pregnant, and I was terrified. And I’d heard you say all those horrible things to your dad, so all I could think about was protecting myself and the baby. And then I wanted to make sure you were sure, not just reacting to me the way you’d reacted with your dad, and…” She sucks in a breath and blows it out. “Can you forgive me?”

Is she crazy? She has nothing to apologize for. “There’s nothing to forgive.” Wrapping her beautiful face in my hands, I rest my forehead against hers. “I’m the one who needs forgiveness.”

She’s shaking her head before I get the words out. “No. You tried to tell me you didn’t mean it. You tried to explain yourself, but I was being stubborn, and I pushed you away out of fear when I should’ve been holding you close. I held you at arm’s length because—”

I touch a finger to her lips. “You don’t have to explain yourself, sweetheart. I know how it sounded, and you were right to push me away. We were both wrong. I think this is one of those moments when we’re just going to have to forgive each other and move on.”

“I think we can do that.”

We hold each other for several minutes, and the need to reassure her of something grows with each passing second. Or maybe I need to reassure myself.

“I swear to you that I will never turn into my parents. I will never treat you or our kids the way my parents treated each other and Chloe and me.”

“You think I was worried about that?” Adley shakes her head and looks at me thoughtfully. “You are not your parents, Lincoln.”

“I know. I know that now, but…” I shake my head, not wanting to go back to that place.

“Lincoln, you are the most wonderful, caring man I have ever met. You will never turn into your parents because you’re everything they aren’t.”

“I’ll never let you down again. I will never hurt you.”

“I know you won’t. And I won’t let you down. You tried to apologize and tell me how you felt, but I shut you out. I wouldn’t listen, and I regret that more than anything. By the time I got over myself, I’d already issued a challenge, and I didn’t know how to tell you I’d made a mistake. Plus, I wanted you to be sure. If you were going to change your mind… I waited for you to do something, but you didn’t. And then there you were at my parents’, and you looked happy—happier than I’ve seen you in a long time—and I wasn’t a part of that and—”

“You were the reason for that, Adley. Don’t you see? You were the reason I was there. You were the reason I started looking at life differently. You’re the reason I put my house on the market.”

“You what?”

“I’m selling my house. That’s why I was on the phone when we first got here. I was supposed to meet with the realtor, and I needed to reschedule.”

I’m still stuck on the selling part. “Why are you selling your house? Your whole life is in Houston. Your dad, Chloe, your friends—”

“But you’re here. And they aren’t my whole life—a big chunk of it, yes, but you’re my whole life. You told me to prove it, and that’s what I’m doing. I’m going to have to go back to Houston a few nights a week for a while to check on Dad. And then from time to time after that. He’s sort of growing on me. Surprisingly enough, I like hanging out with the dude. He isn’t so bad when he’s sober….”

Adley laughs. “I can go with you.”

“I’d like that a lot.”

“Move in with me,” she says, hope blooming in her eyes. “This can be our first home. We can save up, and one of these days we’ll buy our forever home.”

“Are you ready to take that step?”

“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.”

I pull Adley in for a kiss. She sighs against my mouth, and everything about this moment feels perfect.

“You breathed life back into my world,” I tell her. “You brought color to the darkness. You. And I’m never letting you go again.”

“Please don’t. I was so afraid you’d moved on, that you’d taken two weeks and realized how much better off you were without me. I was scared I’d missed my chance. I had no idea how I was going to watch you be a part of our son or daughter’s life, but not a part of mine.”

“You don’t ever have to worry about that. You and me…we created this.” I press my hand to her belly. “I was never going to let you go. I was just giving you space because I thought it was what you wanted. Trust me, I was plotting against you.”

“Oh yeah?” She laughs and gives me the slightest hint of a smile.

“Yeah.” Brushing a stray hair out of her face, I tuck it behind her ear. “I was prepared to pull out the big guns. If moving here didn’t work, I was prepared to charm you and woo you until you had no choice but to fall in love with me again.”

“There is no again, because I never fell out of love with you. In fact, every time you smile or laugh or do something sweet—like paint the baby’s room—I fall more in love with you. My love for you consumes me. You’re all I think about, all I dream about. I just want to be yours again, Lincoln.”

“You are mine, Adley, and I am yours. Forever.”

Forever never sounded so good.

“Will you kiss me now?”

“There’s nothing in this world I would rather do than kiss you.” With her porcelain skin cradled in the palm of my hand, I lower my mouth to hers. Her brown eyes stay locked on mine until our lips touch, and then they flutter closed.

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