As I slip my dress over my head the door opens. I look down. I can’t see his face. I’m not strong enough.

I feel him approach the bed and squeeze my eyes tightly shut. The tears are trapped behind my closed lids but I feel them find a gap and trickle down my cheeks. He doesn’t need this; I have to be strong.

Like Todd, he crouches before me and then I’m pulled towards him. I bury my face in his chest and his arms fold around me. I battle hard but it’s a battle soon lost as the sobs wrack my body. He says nothing and just holds me as I let it all out. I am damaged in more ways than one and he is left to pick up the pieces – again.

I don’t want him to let me go. He holds me and keeps me safe. Like he has always done. He didn’t want this and begged me not to do it. I pleaded with him and wore him down until he finally relented. I have no one to blame but myself. This is my mess and my cross to bear.

He says nothing and continues to hold me. I am scared to see his eyes. They will be my undoing and I’m not ready to face the consequences just yet. However, we have no time for this and he gently pulls me back. I gulp for air as he wipes the tears from my face and says gently.

“Come. I’ll take care of you. Let’s get you out of here. The rest we will deal with tomorrow.”

As I look up into his eyes, I catch my breath. They are the hardest gray and pierce my heart with the steel flashing from them. His face is set in stone but I see the hurt within. He is angry, disappointed and broken. I knew he would be which is why I protected myself from seeing it.

I allow him to pull me up gently and will my legs to work. He’s right, we need to get as far away from here as possible. There will be time to deal with the repercussions of what happened. Now is not that time.

I take his hand and it closes around mine, hard, safe and comforting. He is my protector and my only friend. The one person I can rely on in life and the only man in my world who I love and trust. He is my rock and the man I will never leave. He is my brother.

The hallway is empty and the silence deafening. We walk out of that house with no words spoken. I never want to see this place again. What happened here will haunt me for a lifetime. There is no changing it and now I will have to learn how to live with what I did. I sold my innocence for freedom. I needed the money to get away and start again. How naïve was I? I will never be free. He will find me and I will be imprisoned for life. There is no parole on death row and that is where I’m heading. The only way out of my future is death. I hope that Donahue has a get out of hell card because once again, he is my only hope.

 

 

 

The morning comes and with it the brutal reality of my situation. I wake up in the spare room of my brother’s apartment and know we don’t have long. I should be somewhere else and it won’t take long for the dogs to be on my trail. What happened last night will have to be shut inside that box in my head along with the rest of the bad memories. Maybe one day I will feel strong enough to unlock it and deal with what’s inside—but not now. I need to be strong.

I quickly dress and head off to find my brother. I know he won’t have slept. He will have found a solution, I know it. It’s what he does. Like me, he has had to find a way to cope with the life we lead. This business of his is secret and only known to a select few. If it ever came out, he would be screwed. We need to work together and whatever he decides will be fine with me. I trust him and know that he has my best interests at heart. He is the only one that ever has.

I hear his voice as I enter the room. He’s on the phone and silences me with a raised hand as I enter. He looks worried and disheveled. His eyes are tired, speaking of a night without sleep and I feel guilty at what I’ve put him through.

He hangs up and smiles reassuringly.

“Did you get any sleep, Angel?”

I nod and he smiles softly.

“Help yourself to coffee and breakfast. We don’t have long.”

My heart starts hammering in my chest and I say falteringly.

“Have you sorted it?”

The look he throws me fills me with fear. He nods and looks at me with an anguished expression.

“I have. Like I said, we don’t have long. Eat up and grab your things. We’ll talk on the way.”

I try to eat but it tastes like sawdust in my mouth. The feeling of apprehension grows as I wonder what’s in store. I know he will do what’s best for me but I also know we have few options. I could be jumping right back into the fire.

 

In less than an hour we are heading off to god only knows where. There is silence in the car and the atmosphere is heavy with unspoken words. I feel nervous and almost don’t want to know where I’m going but curiosity wins and I say hesitantly, “Is it far?”

I notice his hands grip the wheel tighter and my stomach tightens. I know my brother and something is setting him on edge and the signs don’t look good.

“No, it’s not far. About thirty minutes out of town.”

His answer surprises me.

“Oh, I thought we would be going somewhere far away. I don’t know, even another country. Won’t this be the first place they look?”

He shakes his head and appears to consider his reply.

“Ash, honey. Sometimes when you’re caught up in a storm the safest place is in the eye of it. Where we are heading is the best place for you.”

I feel confused and wait for him to elaborate.

Sighing, he reaches out and grips my hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

“Where we are going is not for the faint hearted. The person, sorry, people who will protect you are the best in the business. I happen to owe them a favor and you may not think it but this works out well for all of us. The man who we are going to see has a daughter. She needs a Nanny, and he wants someone who is well educated, kind and competent. You will look after her and in return they look after you. Hopefully, it won’t be long before I can make this situation right. I wouldn’t put you there if I didn’t think it the best place for you. Do you trust me, Ash?”

I squeeze his hand. “With my life, Ty.”

My fear dissipates a little on hearing his words. Looking after a kid will be fine. I mean, how hard could it be. Tyler’s right, this sounds perfect.