It was time to come clean with his Lieutenant at Station 58.  He’d tacked on an additional two days off when he’d gone to Jasper Creek, which hadn’t been a problem.  Hell, he had enough time off saved up to take a two-month cruise, but that wasn’t the point.  The point was that the situation with Chloe was unusual, and he might need to take some unexpected time off in the future and he needed to give Nate Boone a heads-up.

Luke saw him waiting outside their lieutenant’s office, and sidled up to him.

“What did she think of the daffodils?”

“Uhhhm…”

“She busted your chops?” Luke guessed.

“Something like that,” Zarek admitted.

“So, when am I going to meet her?”

“I don’t know.”  Zarek thought about the woman he’d spent the last four days with at his house.  She had been like a ghost.  He should never have given her the password to his Wi-Fi.  All she seemed to do was play solitaire.  Her social interaction seemed limited to his dog.  Luckily, he had gotten her to eat a little bit.  But the woman he had seen signs of, on the trip back from Jasper Creek, had disappeared.  Something needed to give.

“What’s going on?”

“For a while she seemed to be coming out of her shell.  She was responding to things and talking.  Hell, she even smiled.  But then she just crawled under a rock for the last four days.  I guess I should be happy she likes the food I cook.  As long as it has cheese in it.”

“What shook her up before?”

“Arguments with her sisters.”

“Zarek, you’ve talked about Chloe for years.  I’ve kind of got my own opinions of what makes this girl tick, what she’s like.  I have a question for you.  The Chloe that you know, would she go into mental hiding after being beaten and traumatized, or would she come out fighting?”

Zarek looked at Luke.  He didn’t just blow off his friend’s question.  Luke had been through the fire so to speak.  He was someone who freely admitted to nightmares and struggles with PTSD because of the survivor’s guilt he carried.  He understood people’s psyche better than a lot of psychologists.

“I would have said that Chloe would have had a ‘big ole fuck you’ to everyone after she got her sea legs under her and moved on.  Her childhood was fucking hell Luke but she rose above that and was making something of herself.”

“So this is more than the trauma of just the beating.”

“This wasn’t just a fucking beating, she was tortured and hospitalized.” Zarek hissed out.

“Easy.”  Luke placed his hand on Zarek’s shoulder.  “I’m not trying to make light of this.  Not at all.  But I’m saying your girl could have gotten over a physical assault.  Something has got her mentally and emotionally twisted up.  You know her.  Hell, you’ve been talking to me about her for years.  She’s had you mentally and emotionally twisted up forever. But that’s a conversation for another day. So back to Chloe, what really has her fucked up?”

“Luke, Zarek, are you here to see me?”

The men turned to see Nate Boone striding towards them on the way to his office.

“I’m just taking off.  It was Zarek who wanted to talk to you,” Luke said.

***

Zarek thought about Luke’s words all the way home.  He’d requested two more days off, then he was going back to regular rotation.  With those two days off he intended to talk turkey with his girl.  Of course, if you intended to blindside someone, you needed to come bearing gifts.  He looked at the bakery box that was in the passenger seat of his car.  He had called his Jax’s wife Skye for some of her specially made cupcakes.  She sometimes brought some to the station, and they were fantastic.  When he admitted he had an old childhood friend from Tennessee staying with him, Skye had immediately been onboard.

“What kind of cupcakes does she like?” Skye asked on the phone.

“Chloe loves chocolate, but I recently found out she likes pecan log rolls.  So I’m not sure, I suppose a variety would be fine.”

“I’m meeting Jax for dinner tonight, I’ll drop by a dozen.”

“That would be great, if you’re sure it’s not a problem.”

“Consider it done.”  He could hear the smile in Skye’s voice.  It would be great if he could invite Skye and Jax over some time.  First, he needed to get Chloe talking.  Hence the cupcakes.

“Thanks Skye, I’ll see you later.”

As he pulled into the garage he saw the door to the kitchen open.  He was surprised that Chloe had come out of the den to greet him.

“Is everything okay?”

“You said you’d be home at four.  It’s four thirty.”  She had a death grip on Slayer’s collar.  He held onto the bakery box and studied Chloe’s expression.  He couldn’t tell if she was mad or scared or a combination of the two.

“I’m sorry I’m late.  I brought a peace offering.”

“You should have called.”

Scared.  She was scared.  She backed up to let him into the house, and he put the bakery box onto the counter.  “Can I have a hug?” he asked.

“Zarek, this isn’t going to work.  The first time you leave you promise you’re going to be home at a certain time, and you’re not.  I need to go home.”  Her face was tense, the house was miserably hot, she’d turned off the air conditioning, and she was still wearing her ETSU sweatshirt.  He glanced down at Slayer, and his tongue was hanging out and he was panting.

“Let’s get you some cold water, boy.”

“I already did,” Chloe said. 

“So you realize it’s a sauna in here?”

“I was cold,” she said defensively.

“Look Chloe, I need a cool shower, then we can have a treat and talk, okay?”  He really didn’t want to argue, he wanted to have a calm conversation, but if it was a hundred degrees and Chloe was snapping at him, it wouldn’t go over well.

“I’m going to the den.”

“Just be ready to talk after dinner,” he warned.

***

For the first time in forever solitaire wasn’t getting the job done.  Usually it kept her brain occupied enough to block out all thought.  Just work at getting the cards in place fast enough to beat her last best time.  Faster and faster, just move the cards.  Concentrate.  Hearts, diamonds, spades and clubs.  Red and black.  A nice hazy blur.  But it wasn’t working. 

She kept hearing Slayer’s breathing.  Finally she got up and put him out of the room and shut the door.

“There.  That should do it.”

She went back to the computer screen and tried to get into the zone.  But she kept hearing Zarek’s ominous words.  She didn’t want to talk.  She knew what that meant.  It meant thinking and feeling. 

Fish or cut bait.

It had been Old Man Ayers who had told her that saying.  It was relevant now.  Solitaire was getting boring.  She looked down at her arm and knew that cutting was out of the question, so fishing was what she needed to do.  But she didn’t know how.  She had a freshly minted master’s degree in physical therapy.  But she also had inherited a boatload of money, so she didn’t have to work for a few years, but that was stupid.

She was stupid.

So stupid.

The haze of the computer screen and the cards was even blurrier.  That was when she realized she was crying.

Dammit.  She needed to get her shit together.  She shoved the keyboard away and rested her head against the desk.  She needed to sleep, but the bedroom was too far away.  Diamonds and hearts floated past her closed eyelids as she drifted off to sleep.

***

He didn’t want to wake her up.  His instinct was to carry her to bed and let her go to sleep, but he couldn’t.  Wednesday, he was going to a twenty-four-hour shift and he wanted to get her some coverage before he left her.  Slayer wasn’t going to cut it.

She must have sensed his hand hovering over her shoulder because her eyes opened.

“Hi.” She gave a ghost of a smile. 

“Hi.  You ready for dinner?  I’ve got cheese sauce for the broccoli.”

“You went to the station today, I should have made food,” she said as she pushed away from the desk. 

“I didn’t ask you to come to Dallas so you could cook.”  He followed her into the dining room, and noted that she wasn’t favoring her injured foot in the slightest.

“Thank God, cooking has never been my thing.  Even when I was firing on all cylinders mac and cheese was usually as good as it got.  Zoe was the chef.”

“I remember.”

It gave him hope to hear her talk about herself not firing on all cylinders.  It was the most self-aware statement she’d made since he’d found her in bed back in Jasper Creek.  Maybe this conversation would go better than he’d been thinking it would.

“How did you become such a good cook?” Chloe asked.

Another good sign, she was asking questions.  “We take turns at the station.  One of the older guys named Gus, he’s close to retirement, is a great cook.   He made sure that when it wasn’t his turn to cook, that the rest of us could produce a good meal.  The hard part is learning how to make something for just one or two people.”

“What do you mean?”  Chloe asked as Zarek forked two slices of ham onto her plate.

“At the station I cook for fifteen grown men, here I’m just cooking for me.  So I screwed up the first couple of times I tried to reduce the recipes.  I ended up with enough spaghetti for five nights the first time I made it here at home.”

When he poured the cheese sauce on her broccoli, she motioned for him to scoop another spoonful.  He laughed.  “Like cheese much?”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted me to eat.”

“Touché.  But you’re still only eating half the calories your body needs.”

She set down her fork and looked at him with hurt eyes.  “I’m better than I was.”

“You’re locked away in the den playing solitaire most of the day.  You don’t talk.  Your sisters call.  Not just Trenda and Zoe, but Maddie, Evie, Piper and even Drake has called.  You won’t talk to any of them.”

“I don’t have anything to say.”  He could barely hear her.  Dammit, she had just been interacting, now she had crawled back in her shell.  So much for hope.

“Chloe.  You need help.  Real help.”

“You told Trenda that I needed time, space and care.  I heard you.” 

“Well I’ve given you time and space, now you need care.”

Her eyes flashed.  “What are you going to do, drag me to a doctor?”

“You just admitted that you aren’t firing on all cylinders.  Aren’t you getting tired of that?”  She opened her mouth to lie to him.  Before she could, he held up his hand and said a phrase from their childhood.  “Answer me true, Chloe Rose.”

She closed her mouth. 

“Answer me true.  I’m asking you not to lie.  Aren’t you sick and tired of being sick and tired?” He asked the question in the softest and gentlest tone that he had inside of himself.

“I…I…” Her head dropped, as if her neck was a broken stem.  Slayer whined and Zarek was beside her in an instant. 

He tilted her chin up so that their eyes met.  “Chloe, answer me.”

“I don’t know what to do,” her eyes shimmered with tears.

“Do you trust me?” he whispered softly, his breath mingling with hers.

“So much more than myself.  I’m broken Zarek.” 

“No you’re not.  You’re just dented,” he gave a soft smile.

“I’m scared,” she admitted.  He was relieved at her admission.  She was so brave to admit her fright.  He was so proud of this woman.

“It’s going to be all right, Chloe.  I promise.”

“No it’s not.   It’s really bad.  I haven’t told you.  I can’t tell you.”  He saw hell in her eyes.  It wasn’t what she had gone through in that cabin, in was the day-to-day despair she had been living with every day since she had left the forest. 

“In the last six days, little things have helped, haven’t they?  Pecan log rolls?  Slayer?  Daffodils?  Cheese?”

Her eyes shifted as she considered what he said.  Finally she nodded.  “A little.”

“Then there’s hope.  I’ve made an appointment with Luke’s therapist tomorrow.  He’ll see you at three o’clock.”

She stiffened in his arms.  He stroked the hair back from her forehead, caressing the scar with his thumb.

“If this was me.  If I told you it was really bad, and there were things I couldn’t tell you, wouldn’t you move heaven and earth to get my ass into a professional?  Tell me true.”

“Yes,” she breathed out.  “Yes I would.”

“Please give me this.  Please let me help you.”

She clutched at his shirt, her nails digging into the skin below.

“Okay.”

He brushed his nose against hers.  “You won’t regret this.”

“I hope not.”

***

God it felt good in his arms, she’d almost forgotten what good had felt like.  His eyes darkened, and she felt his breath mingle with hers. 

“Chloe?”  He didn’t sound quite as sure of himself.  Now what?

“Yes?”

“I have to do this.”

What was he talking about?  His mouth was a hairsbreadth away from hers, and she could only hope. 

No, she couldn’t be hoping.  

But yes, she was. 

Then she launched upwards. 

And their lips met.

He groaned and pulled her close.  Oh God, he tasted better than cheese.  His lips were firm and soft, and he sipped and coaxed, and did everything she needed to send her into a maelstrom of want and desire. 

His lips parted hers, his tongue seeking entry which she gladly granted, wanting to get so much closer to this man who had been her closest friend and confidant.  But this was no friendly kiss, this was a dark lover who swept her up into the clouds.

Her nails dug into the steel of his biceps, glorying in his strength. 

This was hope.

As soon as she thought those words, doubt permeated her brain, and she arched away from Zarek.

“What Baby?”

“You can’t really want me.  Not like I am now.”

He looked deep into her eyes.  “You’re you.”

“I’m broken.”

“Chloe Rose Avery, you’re you.  You might be down, but you’re not out.”  His hand stroked down her arm, his fingers tangling with hers.  “Come here.”

She looked up at him in confusion.  He tugged, and she followed him into the kitchen.  She spotted a pink bakery box. 

“Open it.”

Inside were six gorgeous cupcakes, each one lovelier than the last. 

“Each one is different, but not one of them is less incredible than the other.  They’re just different flavors.”

She stared up at him.

“Do you get me?”

“I think so,” she said hesitantly.

“Every one of your flavors is beautiful to me.  Now do you understand?”

She nodded.

“Let’s go eat cold broccoli and congealed cheese, and then you can have a cupcake or three.”  He grinned down at her.  “How does that sound?”

“Dreadful.  Can we just have cupcakes?”

“Deal.” 

Each of the man’s smiles were more beautiful than the last.