Chapter One
Cooper
“Seventy-eight, seventy-nine, eighty.”
I looked down at the small mound of money on the table in front of me and sighed, checking the envelope again to make sure I hadn’t missed any. Nope. No money hiding in the crevices. I placed the envelope on the table and looked around the apartment. Hard to believe we paid almost eight hundred dollars a month to stay here. It was, well, a dump of a place — water-stained walls and cracks slowly creeping through the peeling paint, giving the feeling that the building might not be so structurally sound. All in all, it was fairly typical of the apartments in our East Atlanta neighborhood.
A few years ago, the owner of the building was forced to address some of the building’s issues, but he only patched up what was on the outside, never even bothering to actually look in the small, cramped apartments. As a result, I had two different colored walls and a great deal of spackled holes in my bedroom. Every night, I fell asleep hoping the ceiling wouldn’t cave in on me in the middle of the night.
I stared down at my tidy little piles of cash on the table. Just like every month, I had placed all of the money into neat piles to begin the arduous task of plotting out the month’s funds. One for rent, the other for utilities, and then finally a third for food and any other necessities. This month, that pile was lighter, and I was short twenty dollars, no matter how many times I counted it. I didn’t know what had happened to cause that.
I looked over the calendar and reviewed the work week, seeing if there was any place I could fit in another shift. Right now, it wasn’t looking too hot for me. As it was, my schedule only allowed about five hours of solid sleep a night between the two jobs I currently held down — nighttime bartender and daytime custodian at a local elementary school. It definitely wasn’t how I pictured my life would be at twenty-six years old.
“Cooper? Do you know where the coffee is?”
“It should be in the cabinet, Mom,” I replied, gathering the money and putting it back in the envelope. I didn’t like for her to see how low on funds we were. She would want to take some shortcuts with her medications, and of all the things we needed month-to-month, I would gladly give it all up to make sure she had her meds.
Stuffing the envelope back into my book bag, I walked into the tiny kitchen, finding my mom searching through the cabinets. At fifty-five years old, Gillian Randall could easily pass for a woman in her early forties, her brown hair barely sprinkled with gray. My mom was the only person in my life that I would die for. She had raised a son on her own and ensured that I had the best life that she could offer after her husband walked out on her for another woman. Every day she left the apartment and took the bus downtown, where she worked in one of the only clothing factories remaining in our town. I had watched her work her fingers to the bone without so much as a complaint. I would love to tell her to quit her job, but without her paycheck, we would be out on the street in no time flat. “Did you find it?” I asked her.
Her eyes sparkled with laughter as she held up the can that normally contained the coffee, turning it upside down so I could see that it was empty. “I found the can, not the coffee.”
Knowing that she had a late shift, I gave her a smile. “I can go get you some if you’d like.”
“Oh, Coop, that would be lovely,” she stated, using the nickname that I would only allow her to use. “You know the coffee keeps me awake.”
I stepped over and gave her a hug before walking out of the kitchen and reaching into the book bag for the envelope, pulling out only what I needed to buy the coffee. “I’ll be back in just a bit.”
“Be careful,” she called as I walked to the door and headed out, jogging down the worn, threadbare carpet toward the stairs. The elevator in the building worked when it wanted to, and I had learned long ago to just take the stairs if I wanted to avoid getting stuck in the tin can for hours. I walked down the three flights and exited the building, tucking my hands in my pockets as I tried to figure out what to do. Mom’s coffee was at the easily accessible convenience store around the corner, but recent events had made me less than welcome there.
Just a few days earlier, I had been on my way home from my janitorial job when I ran into Felix, a childhood friend of mine from the neighborhood. We visited the small store because Felix was craving a candy bar. All I did was walk into the store with him and next thing I knew, the manager was calling Felix a thief and kicking us both out. Turns out Felix had snatched his candy bar, but had tried to walk out with it instead of paying the eighty-five cents. As a result, we were both banned. Mom had always told me that Felix was going to get me in trouble someday and, though we had gone through a few scrapes as children, this was one that could have turned out much worse. It’s a known fact that particular store owner always has a gun behind the counter. I couldn’t afford to get shot or go to jail as an accomplice. I guess I was lucky he just banned us instead of calling the cops… or shooting.
So, there I was, needing coffee, but my only other option was to go downtown to the nearest food mart. That would be bus fair, and with the lack of money already, I would have to give up eating for about a week just to make ends meet. While most people didn’t think about how much a bus ticket or a cab fare cost, I couldn’t afford the added expense. It was like that for a lot of things. I didn’t own much in life that wasn’t either second hand or a pretty cheap version of the real thing. I frequented thrift stores when I absolutely needed something, but most of the time I could get away with a few holes in my clothes and my battered shoes. I’ve always tended to stay to myself mostly anyway.
I walked down the cracked sidewalk, sidestepping the holes in the concrete. This was a side of town that most people didn’t care to come to. In fact, visitors were very few and far between. I could easily walk down the street and recognize nearly everyone I passed. Maybe it was due to the fact that the stench of cigarette smoke and weed were a common odor in the wind. Most of the low-lying brick buildings were covered with graffiti of all kinds, from gang symbols to more colorful graffiti from those wanting to ‘express’ themselves. One summer, I remember there being a movement to try to beautify this section of town and some very brave — misguided, but brave — people had taken it upon themselves to try to rid the buildings of their colorful words and symbols. It hadn’t lasted long. For every building they cleaned up, another graffiti attack would happen somewhere else. Finally, they gave up and the blocks were once again taken over by the thugs, graffiti artists, gang members, and anyone else daring enough to believe they were someone important.
An ambulance siren wailed in the distance and I kicked at a rock, thinking it was far too common to hear sirens these days. Every day there was talk of gunfights, drug deals gone bad, turf infringement; you name it, we probably had it. For that reason, every night my mom wedged a chair under the doorjamb and I slept with a bat by my bed. Sure, I’d grown up here, knew just about everyone in the building, but people got desperate and there was no telling who would turn on you the moment they thought you could do something to benefit them. There was no loyalty, only self-preservation.
I sighed and headed toward the convenience store, knowing it was my better option. Perhaps the manager wouldn’t be there today, and I could do a quick in and out before the clerk even realized I had been there. Besides, a trip downtown and back would eat up about an hour of my day and possibly make me late for my evening job. So, the corner store it was.
“Hey, Cooper! Dude, slow down!”
I turned around to see Felix running toward me, trying to keep his pants up as he did. I have never understood the fascination of wearing pants three sizes too big for you, but, hey . . . to each his own, I guess. “Felix.”
Felix was the only guy in the neighborhood that I kept up with and, at one time, he was just like me, the product of a single, hardworking mom just trying to make something of himself. But times change. We were good friends once, experiencing life together and just trying to survive. After we had graduated high school, we both kept our noses clean for a while. Then Felix got mixed up in the gang activity and he changed. Now, what had once been his normally neat appearance had given way to a shaggy hairstyle and clothing that looked like it once belonged to Fat Albert, complete with fake gold chains and an ever present sideways ball cap. I thought he looked damned ridiculous.
“Where the hell you going?” he asked, falling into step with me as I continued down the street. I could smell the sharp tang of cigarette smoke, like he had been in a room clouded with it and fought the urge to put a few more feet between us.
“Getting some coffee from the Stop Mart for Mom,” I replied. “And if you are going to keep me company, you have got to stay on the down low. I don’t need a repeat performance of the other day.”
“I didn’t take nothing from him,” Felix said, holding up his hands with an innocent look on his face. I narrowed my gaze, and he gave me a grin. “Aw, man, okay, maybe I swiped something, but it wasn’t anything expensive. He shouldn’t have gotten all nutted up about it.”
“You shouldn’t have taken it, Felix,” I muttered as the store came into view. If he got me into trouble this time, I was going to be pissed. I couldn’t afford any type of trouble.
Felix grabbed my arm and stopped me in my tracks, assuming one of those stupid stances he had picked up from the street. “Call me F-bomb from now on.”
I looked at him in surprise before bursting out in laughter. “F-bomb? Really? Come on, what the hell is that?”
A hurt look on his face, Felix kicked at the ground with his beat up sneakers. “It’s my street name, ya know? Like my persona in the clique. We all got ‘em.”
“And you couldn’t have picked a better one?” I asked, arching a brow.
Felix shook his head and pushed his hair out of his face, a glint in his eye. “F-bomb is the shit. It makes me sound cool, ya know? I need the street name to stay relevant.”
“You need the name Felix to find a job,” I countered, thinking of how long it had been since Felix had held down a decent job. He’d fallen into the trap of easy money, thinking that messing around in the street was the way to go. If he continued on the path he was traveling, I was afraid Felix would never see his thirtieth birthday.
“F-bomb,” he reminded me, cracking his knuckles. “Besides, dude, I make more G’s than you could dream of. I don’t know why you want to work when you could be rolling in the dough. Think of all the meds you could buy for your mom then.”
I shook my head, wishing that he wasn’t so stupid sometimes. “It’s gonna get you killed, dude, or in some serious trouble. What would happen to your brothers and sisters if you got thrown in jail or killed over some stupid shit?”
A light flickered in his eyes before he batted it away, shrugging his shoulders. Felix’s mom had died a few years before from cancer, and he had been given the hard duty to raise his four brothers and sisters who were currently scattered around town with family members. Felix was still a good guy, just living a dangerous, worthless life because he thought it was cool at the moment.
Not wanting to fight with him any longer, I resumed my trek to the store, pausing before we reached the front door. “Remember, keep your hands to yourself unless you have money and plan to pay for it.”
“Ya ain’t gotta worry about me,” Felix replied, holding up his hands. “I’m just along for the ride.”
“That’s what I am afraid of,” I muttered, pulling open the door. Inside, the place was packed, more so than usual. The cashier behind the counter, Sarah, who I knew from the neighborhood, looking a bit frazzled as she took on customer after customer. Apparently the lottery was at an astronomical amount, the drawing in less than an hour. The poor souls in line were shouting for tickets and I just shook my head, fingering the small amount of money I had brought with me. Money was too precious to waste on a lottery ticket that wasn’t going to pay out in the end. Didn’t these people know their odds of getting hit by a car were better than actually winning the lottery?
Above the drink cases, a TV blared as the reporter on-screen excitedly told the listening public about the three billion dollar drawing, showing the lines forming outside corner marts, gas stations, and grocery stores to get the last remaining tickets before the numbers would be drawn. It had been the longest drought of no-hitters in lottery history, which had worked everyone up into a frenzy that today might be their day.
“Dude,” Felix was saying as I walked past the line at the cash register to the aisle where the coffee was located. “Could you imagine hitting that kind of change? Fuck.”
“No,” I said, grabbing the coffee and tucking it under my arm, careful to keep my face averted from the manager’s office, where he sat glued to the TV as well. One glance and I wouldn’t be walking out with any coffee tonight. “It’s ridiculous to even think about it.” The lotto was a guessing game, a one in a lifetime hit. Sure there had been people who had hit it numerous times, but I could only imagine how much money they had sunk into their chances before actually making it. “Come on, we’ve got to get in line.”
Felix shuffled in beside me as we made our way to the line, already four deep as Sarah tried to get the tickets printed quickly. It seemed that I was the only one actually buying something other than a ticket.
“Hey, what numbers are you going to choose?”
I turned around to see an older gentleman, his fist full of one dollar bills, looking at me expectantly. “Excuse me?”
“You know, for the lotto, the Sizzler Jackpot,” he explained, giving me a grin. “Surely a strapping boy like you is going to try to hit it big. I’ve been playing the same numbers for years, and I can just feel my luck turning tonight.”
“I’m not playing,” I replied evenly, unsure what all the fuss was about. The old man’s eyes widened, and he shook his head. “Why the hell not, son? Everyone has the same chance. Why not at least try to get out of this dump of a neighborhood?”
“I’m not wasting my hard-earned money on a one-in-a-billion chance,” I said, thinking I was the only one who hadn’t caught the craze. What were these people giving up by playing the addictive game anyway? Who was going hungry or without electricity tonight? “What happened to making your own way?”
The older man cackled with laughter, wiping his eyes with his hands. “Making your own way? Son, that doesn’t exist anymore, not even for old geezers like me. Why work your ass off only to get it handed to you in the end? Take my advice and find an easy way out. You will be happier in the end.”
“Amen,” Felix added, giving the man a high five. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him.”
I rolled my eyes and moved up in the line, watching as Sarah immediately hit the lottery machine buttons in rapid succession, punching out a ticket before handing it to me with a harried look on her face. “Here, before you even ask.”
“I don’t want that,” I said automatically, putting the coffee on the counter in front of her. “I only came in for this.”
“You shouldn’t be here at all,” she hissed, her eyes straying to the office where the manager sat. “You were banned from the store, remember? If he finds you in here, he will call the cops and then you will be in a world of trouble. You and that idiot next to you.”
I looked over at Felix and he held his hands up, walking away from the counter to the door. “I understand, but I needed coffee for Mom and you are the closest store. Just ring me up, Sarah. That’s all I’m asking.”
“Hey, what’s the holdup?” the old man asked behind me, invading any personal space I would have had otherwise. “Come on, buddy, time’s a ticking. I’m ready to win!” The line cheered behind him as I turned back to Sarah, pointing to the coffee. “Just please ring me up so I can go.”
“You got to take the ticket as well,” she argued, shoving the piece of paper at me again. “I’ve already printed it, and I can’t take it back. You gotta buy it, Cooper.”
“I’ll take it if it means I can get one before the damn clock runs out!” the old man shouted, causing the manager to look up from the TV. “Get out of the way so we can get ours, sonny! Time’s a wasting, and we ain’t getting any younger back here.” Great. Not the in and out I was hoping for.
Extracting the entire wad of money I had brought with me, I threw it on the counter and grabbed both the coffee and the ticket, giving her a look of displeasure. “Fine. You just made me waste two bucks for nothing.”
Sarah rolled her eyes and looked to the next customer as I moved out of the way, shoving the piece of paper into my pocket angrily. She had just cost me lunch tomorrow. Now, I would have to make sure I packed an apple or something so I wouldn’t be hungry all day.
I stepped out of the store and found Felix lounging against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. “Dude, that was close. She nearly turned us in. Oh, and that old man, too. If he’d made any more racket, we would have been nailed to the wall by that manager.”
“Yeah,” I said, tucking the coffee under my arm once again. “I’ve got to get this back home before Mom goes to work. I’ll see ya later.”
“I’m out,” Felix said, flashing some weird sign with his fingers before walking away. I just shook my head, thinking of the money had I just been forced to waste as I made my way back to the apartment. I should have gone downtown instead of taking the easy way out. At least, I would be two bucks out on a bus ticket and not a worthless piece of paper. Most people would say it was just two bucks, but two bucks was the difference between the rent being paid and us being forced out on the street. It was the difference between lights or sitting in the dark. Eating or being hungry. Two bucks was the world when you were on a tight budget.
* * * * *
I made it back to the apartment building without incident and climbed the three flights of stairs, my stomach still churning about the lotto ticket. I hated the fact that I hadn’t pushed back and refused to take it, but my current issues with the manager had prevented me from making a big scene. I supposed two bucks was easier to afford than going to jail.
Pushing open the door, I heard my mom talking to someone in the other room, her voice happy as she chatted on. There was only one person who would make her that happy. Placing the coffee in the kitchen, I peeked around the corner to find her leaning up against the faded wallpapered wall, a smile on her face. “Oh, he just walked in! Let me put you on speakerphone so you can tell him as well.”
She pressed the button, and I grinned. “Hey, Aunt Sophie.”
“Hi, Cooper, my boy. You sound so old on the phone. I’m sure you have just shot up like a root.” My Aunt Sophie was my mother’s only sibling, five years younger and full of spunk. Instead of getting married straight out of school like my mom had, Aunt Sophie had gone on to college and gotten her degree in history before meeting a local business owner who had a fondness for historical antiquities. They had moved to California a few years ago, but she kept in touch with phone calls. “Anyway, I wanted to tell you that Bill and I just purchased the most gorgeous house in Malibu. We have the best view of the water. You wouldn’t believe it until you see it, and I dearly hope you will come see it soon.”
“Of course,” Mom replied, her voice perky, though her face divulged what she was really thinking. Unless Aunt Sophie was willing to fund us coming out to visit, there would be no extra funds to do something so extravagant right now or any time soon. And even if she did fund it, we couldn’t afford to take time off work. My stomach rolled as I immediately thought about the money I had blown. The precious extra dollars that could have been used to fund Mom’s medication or something else we needed, not a worthless piece of paper shoved in my jeans pocket. “We would love to see your house, Sophie. I am sure you are very proud of it.”
I elbowed Mom, looking over at the calendar where a birthday was written in for today. “You ready, Mom?” I asked, loud enough for my aunt to hear her. She nodded and I started, Mom joining in quickly. “Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Sophie! Happy birthday to you.”
“Aren’t ya’ll so sweet!” Aunt Sophie laughed, the sound of her happiness warming my heart. We couldn’t do much else, but we could still give happy birthday songs over the phone.