She got what she asked for. His size and his strength, and his stamina, had been destroying her with each blast of his body into hers. With each hard pump she gripped tighter onto his back until her arms lost all strength, falling like two useless twigs to the mattress. They lay there, stretched out, her hands holding onto two clumped-up mounds of bedsheets. That was all she had left, just holding on for dear life, holding on during the wild ride as the bed rocked and shook hard underneath her. Something about sex with Matthias reminded Laurel of one of those mechanical bull rides at country bars, where she’d fight to hold on despite the bucking, despite the strength, only this time she wasn’t on top of the huge creature, but underneath, and still having to grip the bed as if she might fly off somewhere. She also had to fight to stay conscious during the onslaught, her vision going a little dark and blurry, her breathing way too fast and shallow. Finally, she felt it, the killing that was so necessary. She’d meant it at the time as a euphemism for a good, hard, mind-destroying fuck, but what it really meant was for her old self, her old life, to be finally killed off. And what better way to kill it off than to take this absolute stud to bed and ramp up his lust to such a point that she might emerge after, after surviving the onslaught, as a changed person. She would crawl out of the rubble of her past relationship and of this new recent destruction, and be faced with the challenge of forging a new identity.

So far, underneath him, her mind couldn’t work well enough to find that identity. In the heat of the moment, she had no answer, no direction, only that this was the best sex of her entire life. Perhaps that could be her short-term identity, a temporary life stuck underneath Matt at all times, her legs wrapped around his hips, her claws into his back, her body and soul being reprogrammed.

What new woman would emerge from this bedroom?

She had already taken several huge steps today, beginning with her confrontation with Jason—getting her things out of that fucking garage and away from him for good. And then the confrontation with him at the bar. But perhaps the biggest step was her time with this new man. She was surprised how easily she could ease into the dating world, the flirtation, the excitement. She had imagined herself going years before she could even work up the desire to start looking, much less find someone suitable to date. Looking was perhaps the scariest part. And here she was, dancing, drinking, laughing. And now, fucking like an animal and coming so close to having another earth-shattering orgasm.

She couldn’t believe how easy it was. In a single day, she had traveled around the world, from zero to sixty, from dead to killed and reborn and alive.

Alive. That’s what this was. Not killing, not death, but her sudden clarity. The dizziness had lifted, the foggy edges of a possible fainting spell diminished. She could see the room with clarity, and she could see him, Matt, the sexy strain in his face, him biting his lip, his eyes closed, him lowering his head and just concentrating into her. She could feel every inch of her body pulsate with pleasure, everything radiating outward from where Matt had done the most killing. A mixture there of battered soreness and warming, glowing electricity. It was the epicenter of her destruction, where a surging bright light radiated through her body and up into her mind. And then there was a sound, a rising primal scream that deafened her. And then Laurel realized that it was her own anguished cries as her orgasm sparked through her.

* * *

She woke up to the distinct feeling that she was naked, her ceiling fan blowing onto her bare skin. She never slept like that. She reached down for her bedsheet, and out of the corner of her eye saw a long leg pointing to the foot of the bed. Above that, a meaty, muscled thigh, and then a . . . Matt.

She could smell him, that deep earthy musk. It was in her dream, too, where she clung on to the back of a shirtless warrior riding a horse, her face buried in that scent. They had been riding in a dark wood, crossing over a few stony brooks before reappearing in a golden meadow. And that’s when she woke, the lamplight from outside shining into her eye. And now it sparkled off Matt’s eyes as they opened slowly.

Laurel hoped that he was coming to the same happy realization that she had. That it wasn’t just a dream. That it was still happening, still real. She rolled over, into him, back into his embrace.

Matt brushed a finger through her hair and said, “I can’t believe I let myself fall asleep like that.”

“You must have been tired.” She snuggled into him. “You worked hard.” His skin was so much cooler now. The bed, too, after such scorching hot activity.

“Yeah.” His cheeks reddened, as if he were a little embarrassed about just how hard he’d worked. A little more bashful and self-conscious now that the fireworks of his lust had ended.

Laurel took it all in, smiling at him again until he looked away. And she was, in a way, glad of his demeanor. “That was really fun,” she said. “I don’t usually allow myself that kind of . . . you know . . . indulgence.”

“Sex?”

“I mean . . . A one night stand, though? Hell, no.”

“I guess I should feel pretty privileged, then.” He smiled at her, brushing his fingers along her bare arm. She shivered at the sensation, as she remembered the feeling of him thrusting into her. Skin on skin.

Fuck.

“Crap. I must have been drunker than I thought. We didn’t use anything, did we?”

He smiled again, touched her again. “I’m good. I get tested regularly. All part of my job.”

What type of work did he do, exactly? Laurel quickly decided she didn’t care right then. “Me too, and I’m on birth control. Both necessary, after, well, you met the asshole last night.”

He kissed her. “I don’t usually do this.”

“You don’t meet some strange girl in a bar and then save her life in the same night?”

“Yeah. Pretty boring life, huh?” He leaned forward and gave her forehead a sweet little peck. “And I’m actually, usually, pretty responsible. Old military habit.”

Laurel arched her head back to get another look at his face.

“But hey,” he said. “I guess I’m on vacation.”

“Do you have to be anywhere soon?” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Laurel wished she hadn’t asked.

He leaned over to grab his phone off the nightstand. “No. And nothing till much later. You?”

Then she regretted it even more, sinking her head back down into his chest with a groan. “It’s actually a huge day for me. I’m giving a presentation at work.”

“Oh, no. I feel bad, then.”

“No, no way. I needed this. It’ll help me.”

“Help you?”

“Yeah,” she said. “A confidence boost. I get kinda nervous with public speaking.”

“What’s that old trick? Pretending everyone in the crowd is naked?”

“I bet I’ll just be picturing you naked.”

“Will that help?”

“Hmm.” She thought for a moment, and then laughed. “No. No way.”

“Awww. I want to help.”

“You already did.” She ran her hand down his smooth body. “So much.”

“Well, I’d like to help you again.”

“Maybe you still can.” Her hand coursed down the length of his body, on his side, past his hips and onto his thigh. No clothing anywhere along the way as she wrapped her hand around his thick length. Matt’s head fell back again as he groaned.