A week later, I was sitting on the hotel bed. No, not the one in Montreal. This one was in New York City. I checked my phone to see if Trent had texted me yet. He and Kelsey were flying in to spend a few days in the city and to see tonight’s game against the Rangers.

At least that was the plan. But their flight had been delayed several hours. Why? We could thank Murphy for that and his dumbass law. If I didn’t need to talk to Kelsey about Holly, there would’ve been no delays.

You’re right—the plan was for me to try to talk to Kelsey about Holly. Who knew if she was going to be as forthcoming as I would like—or if what I wanted to ask her would violate some secret friendship pact that guys were oblivious to?

Trent: We’ve landed. See you after the game?

Me: Absolutely.

Holly: Good luck on tonight’s game. Lily and I will be cheering for you. XOX

The next text was a picture of Lily smiling at the camera with her Canadiens jersey on. Never thought I would miss anyone as much as I missed my daughter. My daughter and her smart and gorgeous mother.

Which was why I needed Kelsey’s help.

Me to Holly: Thanks. Miss you! Give Lily a kiss from me.

Then. What do I get if the Canadiens win tonight?

Holly: Phone sex :)

Oh, don’t act all surprised. How do you think I survived the month she and I were apart? Phone sex was a great way to get close when you couldn’t be close.

Don’t believe me? Give it a try some time.

Me: I like that incentive. I’ll be sure to keep it in mind during the game.

I returned my phone to the night table, and unrolled my yoga mat on the floor, taking care not to block the TV.

“I told Emily you do yoga,” Sam said, watching whatever sitcom he had found—even though he had a TV in his own room.

“And?”

“And she’s signed herself and me up for yoga classes this summer.”

I laughed. “And you’re not happy about that?”

He shrugged. “I’m not exactly a yoga guy.”

“And you know this because you’ve done yoga before?” Yes, I might have still been laughing.

He grunted and I laughed harder.

“So why don’t you just tell her you don’t want to do it?”

“Because I figured if you did it then maybe there was something to it. And because that’s what you do when you love someone.”

“What—take yoga classes with her?” Because if that was the case, with the six months of prenatal yoga classes I took with Holly, she had more than enough proof of how much I loved her.

You didn’t know about that? After the first month of doing yoga to the same two DVDs, it got boring. All right, boring was an understatement. Anyway, I hired a yoga instructor to come to Holly’s apartment twice a week to work with us.

Why? Because six more months of the same two DVDs would have driven me serial-killer insane.

“Well, not necessarily yoga,” Sam said, “But sometimes you just have to man it up and do something you might not necessarily like, but you do it anyway to make her happy. You have a girlfriend. You know how it is.”

“Sure.” Did I? Because from where I was standing, it didn’t look like I had made Holly happy enough to want to marry me—or be with me wherever my career led me next.

Which was part of the problem.

I wasn’t ready to give up my career and she wasn’t prepared to give up hers—even for the sake of our daughter.

Which probably made us the worst parents ever—and not much better than our own parents had been.

This was the same thought that plagued me until I stepped onto the ice two hours later for our game.

* * *

In the dressing room after getting my phone back, I read Holly’s text. Sorry about the game.

In case you hadn’t guessed—we lost. Badly.

Me: Is phone sex still on the table?

Holly: On the table. On the floor. On the bed. Wherever you want it.

I smirked at that. Meeting up with Trent and Kelsey first. Will take a rain check on it if you’re offering one.

Holly: Of course. And this rain check doesn’t have an expiry date—and it can be used any time tonight.

Trent and I had already planned where to meet up once I’d returned to the hotel and changed. I sent him a text, telling him I was on my way, and headed to the quiet bar he had suggested.

The best thing about Trent and Kelsey? They didn’t talk hockey after a game—especially if my team had lost. They knew nothing they said would change the outcome, so what was the point of discussing it?

Which meant we could go straight to the topic I had in mind: Holly.

“How’s Holly and Lily doing?” I asked Kelsey.

She frowned, clearly confused at my question. “Don’t you talk to Holly?”

“Yes, but you see her a lot more than I do, so I was just curious.”

“Well, unless there’s something she’s not telling me, she seems fine.” She exchanged glances with Trent.

“What?” I asked.

“She’s been talking about a job offer in Australia she’s starting to consider.”

“But she already has a job in San Francisco.” That she was returning to soon. She’d even hired the nanny last week.

Kelsey bit her lip. I was definitely missing something here.

“Tell me,” I said, a little more forcibly than I should have, if the don’t-shoot-the-messenger look Trent threw me was anything to go by. “Look, I don’t want to see her leave. I love her and I love our daughter.”

“I know, but you’re not around anymore and things won’t get better if you land a contract back in Canada or with another team. Doesn’t Holly at least deserve to fall in love with a man who will be there for her and Lily? Doesn’t she deserve a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with her because he can’t imagine being with anyone else? He can’t imagine a life without her.” She reached for Trent’s hand and threaded her fingers with his.

“So I’m supposed to give up my hockey career for her?”

“No, but why do you want to marry her?”

“She told you that?”

Kelsey’s confused frown returned. “You didn’t suggest you two should get married?”

“Yes, but she shot me down.”

Kelsey rolled her eyes as if I was a complete and utter moron—and maybe I was. “How did you propose to her?”

“Well…” The conversations Holly and I’d had leaked into my dumbass brain. Not once had I actually proposed to Holly. Even though I had told her I loved her, I had still made it sound like a business arrangement between us. I had made it sound like the only reason I wanted to marry her was to keep her from being deported if she ever lost her job and to keep from losing my daughter.

And so she could join me if I was offered a contract elsewhere.

“You didn’t, did you?” Kelsey’s tone was sympathetic more than anything else—and further confirmed that I was an idiot.

I sank back in my chair and shook my head. “No, I didn’t.”

Not once had I considered telling Holly exactly how much I loved her and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Not once had I let her know what was really in my heart. So in the end, no matter how much I’d try to do otherwise, I had been like my old man.

Shit.

“If it counts for anything,” Kelsey said, “she really does love you, and I don’t think she wants to go back to Australia. She just wants to do what’s best for Lily.”

Kelsey said something else but I didn’t hear her. I was too busy figuring out how to show Holly how much I loved her and wanted to marry her because of that.

I was too busy figuring out how to propose to her.