I look down at the precious baby girl cradled in my arms and into blue eyes that mirror my sister's, and I feel an ache in my chest. A pain. A longing. Valentina Martinez was born a little over three weeks ago. She is beautiful with her pale skin, jet black hair and the bluest of eyes. I'll never forget the shock of finding out Alba was pregnant the first time, but once she had Gabe and I saw the way she was with him, it was clear my sister was meant to be a mother.

It's incredible how far we both have come in just a few short years. If someone had told me three years ago that we both would be married to bikers and my sister would have two kids, I would have said they were out of their ever-lovin' mind. Now though, I couldn't imagine my life any other way.

Sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery, I brush my finger gently over the top of Val's soft hair, and I watch as her eyes grow heavy. And it is not lost on me that it could have been my baby I was holding. Mine and Logan's baby would have been the same age as Valentina. Fate had other plans for us though. We lost our baby at twelve weeks. Logan and I decided to wait until after my first appointment to announce my pregnancy. We were chomping at the bit to tell our family, and we only had one more week to wait. Our announcement never happened. I miscarried four days shy of my second trimester.

One week later Alba and Gabriel were married, and she announced they were expecting baby number two. The news had been a blow to both Logan and me. We were over the moon happy for my sister and Gabriel but couldn’t help the feeling of hurt. To this day neither one of us has told our family about our loss. I told Logan I didn't want our devastation to overshadow my sister's time of celebration. Logan and I were each other's rock during this time. Some days having to put on a brave face is harder than others, but so far, we have been weathering the storm.

Reaching up, I swipe away a tear making its way down my cheek.

"Bella, what's wrong?" a concerned Alba asks walking into the room.

I wave my hand at her trying to brush off her question, "I'm fine. Just happy is all." It's not a total lie. I am happy, but I can tell by the look on my sister's face she is not buying it. Her next words prove I'm right. "Liar," she blatantly calls me out.

Sighing, I stand up and ignore her statement as I walk to the crib with my niece in my arms and carefully lay her down. Satisfied she's not going to rouse, I make my way out of Valentina's room with my little sister on my heels. When we make it to the living room, Alba speaks up once again. "Please tell me what's wrong, and don't tell me nothing, Bella. You haven't been yourself lately. Don't think I haven't noticed. You're my sister. I know you. I've been waiting for you to talk to me. I'm not waiting anymore. I want to know what's going on with you."

When I give her an irritated look, she adds, "Don't look at me like that. If this were the other way around, you'd force me to talk too."

She has a point there.

Sighing, I take a seat on the couch and Alba follows suit. "You know I'm happy for you… right?" I ask.

My sister scrunches her brows together, "Of course."

As I'm about to open my mouth, Alba grabs hold of my hand. "I know you're struggling with something, Bella."

And that's all it takes. My sister's words make me crumple into her arms and sob. I was stupid to think I could hide my feelings from her. She knows me, just as well as I know her. She understands me. Alba knows how happy I am for her and how in love with my nephew and niece I am, but on the inside my heart is aching. Though no one knows of our loss, they all know how long we have been trying to start a family of our own.

I don't know how long I go on with my sister holding me as I cry, but soon the tears stop and when I pull back and look at her, I see nothing but understanding. Using the sleeve of her shirt, Alba wipes the tears from my face. And when she dries my tears, I confess the secret I have been keeping from her. The one that has been eating me up inside. "I had a miscarriage."

Dropping her hands to her side and looking at me in shock, Alba asks, "What… when?"

"Just before you and Gabriel got married. Logan and I wanted to wait until the doctor confirmed everything. I was around twelve weeks." I confess.

Placing her hand over her mouth, I see my sister fighting back her tears. "I'm not even going to ask you why you never said anything. I already know. And I will tell you now, Bella. Don't ever keep something like that from me again," She says with love and anger all rolled into one.

I shake my head in protest, "You were getting married and then after the wedding you and Gabriel announced you were pregnant with Val. I couldn't bring myself to put a damper on your happiness. I couldn't do that to you, Alba."

Cutting me off, Alba stands up from the sofa, all but yelling, "I don't care what's going on in my life, Bella! Our whole lives it's always been you and me against the world. When I hurt, you hurt. When you're happy, I'm happy. We may be married now, but that is one thing that will never change between us."

She's right. We are married now and have our husbands, but nothing can ever take away the bond we share as sisters.

Standing up from the couch, I wrap my arms around Alba. "Promise me you will never keep a secret like that from me again," she whispers into my neck.

"Never again," I promise.

I'm in my car on the way to the hospital to have lunch with Emerson when my mind drifts back to the visit I just had with my sister. I feel a little bit lighter after finally coming clean with her about my miscarriage. I even told her about mine and Logan's struggle to conceive after the loss of our baby.

When we first decided to start trying for a baby, we were having fun. We would sneak off on lunch breaks, and Logan would take me to the lake and make love to me under the stars. Everything was perfect. Now our sex life has been taken over with fertility doctors, calendars, and ovulation tests. The spontaneity is gone. And even though I know Logan and my relationship is solid, our clinical sex life is a dark cloud looming over our heads. I feel it, and he feels it. The problem is, neither one of us is saying anything.

Alba suggested Logan and I talk about everything. She's right. This whole situation is going to drive a wedge between us if we continue to stay silent. We need to get back to us. That means no more doctors. No more sex schedules and worrying about when I'm ovulating. Logan and I have to make our marriage a priority. Somewhere along the way we lost a little bit of ourselves, and I am determined to get it back.

Pulling up to the hospital, I park and fire off a quick text to Emerson letting her know I'll meet her in the cafeteria. We have become quite close over the past couple of years. She works a lot of hours, so I make it a point to come as often as I can to have lunch with her. Eating in the hospital cafeteria is easier for her, so that's where I'm going now. When she is not working, she and I will catch a movie or go shopping. She has slowly been opening up to all the guys and even comes to the clubhouse on occasion. Though she still won't give Quinn the time of day. Walking into the cafeteria, I spot her from across the room when she lifts her hand giving me a wave.

"Hi," I greet her with a smile sitting across from her.

"Hey yourself. Here, I already got yours," she says sliding a plastic container with a salad across the table.

"Thanks. The next one is on me," I tell her before taking my first bite. "How's Alba and the baby?"

I smile again, "Perfect. Val is beautiful, and Gabe is a mess. I swear that boy is his father made over. He's so serious about everything," I laugh.

After a few minutes of catching up, Emerson is quiet for a moment. I've come to know her well, and I can tell by the look on her face something is bothering her. "Alright, talk to me Em," I encourage.

She lets out an exhausted breath. "I really shouldn't talk about this, but I had a pregnant woman in labor come into the ER yesterday. Immediately, I could tell she was on something. She delivered a baby girl early at thirty-four weeks."

Reaching across the table, I squeeze her hand. "Oh no. Is the baby okay? Did she make it?" I choke out. She is a strong woman to cope with the things she deals with on a daily basis.

"She did make it. She's upstairs in the NICU. I can deal with a lot of tragedy, Bella, but babies," she trails off shaking her head. "When I did my NICU rotation, it was by far the most challenging time in my life." Meeting my eyes, Emerson visibly swallows. "You want to know what the worst part is? Her mother abandoned her. After she was born, she didn't even ask about her. She didn't care if she was dead or alive. Not even twenty-four hours after she gave birth she up and left."

My hand covers my mouth in shock, and I feel anger bubble up in me. Here I am, a woman who would give anything to have such a precious gift yet struggles to conceive and then you have a woman that can blatantly leave her baby behind.

Using her napkin to dry her tears, Emerson apologizes. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to unload all that on you. Sometimes certain cases get to me."

"Don't apologize for something like that. You know I'm here for you anytime you need to talk. Don't keep your emotions bottled up inside." Like I've been doing. Emerson knows nothing about my miscarriage. Aside from my confession to my sister, I haven't told anyone.

"Thank you, Bella." After a moment of silence, she speaks up again. "I've been going to check on the baby every chance I get. The NICU is low on volunteers right now, so I try to visit all the babies when I can."

"What kind of volunteers?" I ask.

"It's something we call Cuddle Buddies." Emerson goes on to explain. "Parents who have a baby in the NICU can't always be by their baby's side. Moms are discharged and have to go home and leave their child behind. It's difficult not getting to take your baby home. So not only is the volunteer giving comfort to the baby but the parents as well. When a mom or dad is at home or work, they have the comfort of knowing their son or daughter is getting the attention they deserve. A volunteer must hold the baby, rock them to sleep, feed them. A lot of the time the baby will cry simply because he or she needs someone to hold them, and it's hard for a nurse to give too much-undivided attention to one baby when she has several to tend to. Then you have babies like the one I was just telling you about. She's going through withdrawal from whatever her mother was on. She is having a hard time."

By the time Emerson is through explaining the program to me, my heart is breaking. And it's also telling me I need to help. I can't explain it, but there is a voice inside me telling me this is something I need to do. "I want to help," I say without hesitation.

Giving me a big smile, Emerson nods. "That's wonderful, Bella."

"What do I have to do? When can I start?" I ask.

"I can walk you upstairs now if you'd like. There is paperwork to be filled out, and of course, an interview and they will require a health exam. We can't take any chances on the babies getting sick. Their immune systems are weak. Are you okay with all this?"

We walk side by side out of the cafeteria, "Yes. I'll do whatever is necessary. I want to help."

Having Emerson vouch for me sped up the process, so a few hours later I've filled out all necessary paperwork, been interviewed and had a check-up. I was informed everything looked good and that I could come in tomorrow for my first shift. I told the hospital evening shifts were good for me. I can come over every day after I'm done working at the garage.

Walking out of the hospital, I make my way across the parking lot towards my car. A sense of peace washes over me. It's time to take all the energy I've been wasting on stressing over mine and Logan's struggles and put it towards something positive. Sliding into my car and letting the top down, I close my eyes a moment feeling the warm breeze on my face and smile. It's time to go home to my husband.

The sun is beginning to set as I pull into mine and Logan's driveway. I don't see Logan's bike, so I know he's not home from work yet. Walking into the house, I head upstairs with determination. When I walk into the master bathroom my eyes fall to the counter where it's littered with ovulation tests, pregnancy tests, and an abundance of vitamins. Reaching down, I pick up the small trash bin and begin chucking everything into it. No more damn tests. No more damn vitamins. Just, no more.

"Angel, what are you doing?" Logan's deep voice asks from the doorway, startling me.

"I'm exhausted, Logan," I say giving him a quick glance before continuing the task at hand. "I love you, Logan and I want us to have a baby more than anything, but I'm tired. I'm sick and tired of all this shit," I declare. "I'm tired of the planned sex. I'm tired of the disappointment after yet another negative pregnancy test. I'm sick of what our lives have become." Stopping what I'm doing, I set the trash bin down and look up at my husband. His expression not one of anger or sadness. No, he looks relieved. That very look is all I need to see to know I'm making the right decision. "I miss us," I admit.

Covering the distance between us, Logan stands toe to toe with me and brings both hands up to cup my face. "I miss us too, Angel."

A split second later my breath hitches when I see heat flair in Logan's eyes and his mouth crashes down on mine. Fisting my hands in his hair, I bite down on Logan's bottom lip causing him to growl. The next several seconds are a dazed frenzy. We begin tearing at each other's clothes. Once I pull his shirt over his head, Logan grabs ahold of mine ripping it open. I faintly hear buttons hitting the floor the same time I make work of unbuckling his belt, before reaching inside his jeans freeing his already hard cock. The sight has me licking my lips wanting a taste.

Reading my thoughts, Logan says, "You can have my cock in your mouth later, babe. Right now I need to be inside you."

Once he rids me of my shorts, Logan swipes his hand across the bathroom counter causing everything to crash to the floor. Picking me up by my ass, he sets me down on the edge where he pulls my panties to the side and buries his cock inside of me with one thrust causing me to scream out his name.

"So fuckin' wet," he rasps pulling all the way out leaving only the head of his cock inside me, making me whimper in protest.

"Look down, Angel. I want you to watch as I fuck you," he demands. And I'm all too eager to listen. I immediately look down at us and watch as Logan's thick cock slides in and out of me.

"That's it, watch your husband fuck your tight pussy."

Logan's dirty mouth fuels my impending orgasm and I feel myself begin to clamp down on his cock.

"Not yet. You don't come until I tell you to," Logan orders. "Please, I need to come," I beg.

"Not yet, Bella," he growls while digging his fingers into my hips, slamming into me so hard my head thumps into the mirror behind me.

"Logan," I start chanting. Bringing his hand between us he uses his thumb to rub over my swollen clit, and I can no longer hold back.

"Fuck, Angel," he grinds through clenched teeth right before he buries his face in my neck. I throw my head back and scream out my orgasm the same time Logan plants himself deep inside me and roars his release.

This… this is what we have been missing.