The E.R. is an awful place. The air is stale. The tile is squeaky. The light is blindingly bright.

Fiona paces back and forth.

Lizzy sinks into the scratchy grey chair.

Blake leans against the wall, his eyes on his shiny leather shoes.

I press my palms into my thighs. What can I say? Meryl is dying. That isn't news. But now it isn't something far off in the future either.

Blake moves towards me. He kneels in front of me and looks up at me. His palm presses against my cheek.

He rubs my temple with his thumb.

"It will be okay." His voice is steady. Reassuring.

I believe him, even though it isn't true. It won't be okay.

She's going to die.

She's going to die believing this bullshit.

He wraps his arms around me.

I slide off the seat and sink into his touch. It's so strange, Blake on the E.R. floor in his thousand-dollar suit. Bringing himself to my level. Comforting me.

He does comfort me.

He does everything to me.

We sit like that forever.

Eventually, Lizzy stands. "I'm going to get a soda. You want anything?"

Yes, but nothing out of a vending machine. I shake my head.

"Come with me anyway." She offers her hand and shoots me a we need to talk look.

I take it. I let her pull me up and lead me away from Blake. Into a quiet hallway. One away from the sounds of emergencies and screaming patients.

Lizzy finds a vending machine in the corner and digs a dollar out of her purse. "You okay?"

I shake my head. "It feels like last time. Not as bad, but the same kinda thing. I lost almost everything that day."

My sister hugs me. "I don't want to fight. You're my best friend. Always. And whatever happens with Blake, I support you. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you."

"Love you too." I hug her tightly. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"You can visit anytime."

"I will." I release Lizzy and turn my attention to the vending machine. I'm not big on soda. Too sweet. And I don't need the caffeine. I'm wide awake as is. "You should go home. You have school."

"It's Saturday."

"Still," I say. "Go home. Sleep. Study. I might be here a while."

Her brow furrows. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Tell you what—I'll stay another ten minutes. If you still want me to leave, I will."

I nod. It's nice having Lizzy around. Comforting.

We move back to the E.R. A doctor is talking to Blake and Fiona.

He holds strong.

She trembles.

Whatever he says must be good, because Fiona is sighing with relief.

We move closer, so we can hear their conversation.

"She's okay." Fiona nearly smiles. "She's okay."

The doctor nods. "She's sedated. You can visit in the morning."

He leans in and whispers something.

She shakes her head. The near smile falls from her lips.

"Can we see her?" she asks no one in particular.

He nods, whispers some directions, and turns back to the hallway.

I follow her and Blake to Meryl's room.

It's small. Private.

It's so much like that day three years ago.

We're separated by iron and glass.

I can see her, but I can't get close.

She's sleeping. Her heart rate monitor is steady. It's the same as Lizzy's was. It promises she's surviving.

But this time, she isn't.

My legs go weak. I clutch at Blake's arm, but, still I crumble.

He catches me and helps me to a bench. It's private. Sort of.

It's far enough away from everyone that we can talk.

He brushes the hair from my eyes.

It calms me.

It soothes every nerve in my body.

Of course it does.

I'm madly in love with him.

And he's looking at me with every ounce of concern in the world.

"I'll make sure you get your money," he says. "Even if she dies before the wedding."

"I don't care about the money."

"Let's do it here, tomorrow. There's a chapel down the hall. Your dress should be ready. Ashleigh can call the tailor. I'll offer him double to get it done overnight."

I take an easy breath.

Blake's expression is desperate. He needs control over this. He needs to go through with this lie.

But I need something he can't give me.

I can't marry him like this.

"No," I say.

"Kat, please."

"I'm sorry." A tear rolls down my cheek. Meryl is going to die and there's nothing I can do to save her.

There was nothing I could do to save my parents.

There's nothing I can do to fix this.

"Kat. Think about what you're saying."

I swallow hard. Just one last time. I lean in and press my lips to Blake's. He tastes good. Like whiskey and like Blake. "Goodbye." I push myself off the bench. "I'll visit her in the morning."

"Kat. You can't."

I shake my head. "I have to. I… I'll find a way to pay you back for the apartment. Somehow."

"It's only one day. Half an hour. Then she can die happy."

"I'm sorry." I pull the ring off my finger and press it into his palm.

"But why?"

"Do you love me?"

"Kat…"

"That's the only way you can change my mind."

And it's never going to happen.

He's never going to fall in love with me.