GABE
I should’ve been totally focused on the séance, but I was totally focused on Lily instead. Through a gap in the blinds I saw her lying on the grass outside next to the picnic tables under the massive old trees. One of her legs was bent at the knee, and it cast a long and sexy shadow beside her in the afternoon sun. The curve of her breast gave way to the dip of her stomach and the slight rise of her pelvis. She kicked off her shoes and ate her chicken strips while looking up at the sky. A tiny bird hopped along the picnic table nearest to her, and I watched her turn to say something to the bird, smiling as it cocked its head. She rolled over onto her side with her head propped in her hand. When the bird flew off, she nestled herself back into the thick green blades, revealing a strip of her stomach between her leggings and her T-shirt.
“I really need everybody to focus now,” said the medium. “Everybody.”
I forced myself to turn away from the window and zoomed in on the medium. Her eyes were locked on me to say, That means you, buddy!
I nodded to confirm it was a 10-4 and gave her my full attention. I’d doubted her at first, but when she pulled the roast chicken out of the air, I became a believer. She made everybody in the circle join hands. There were rustles and squeaks as the family scooted their chairs closer and formed a circle. “Now, I need you all to create a welcoming atmosphere. Imagine a time when you were really happy to see Jimmy. A time when you saw him here, or when you picked him up at the airport, a time when he came to help you. A time when you came around a corner and saw him and felt happy in that moment. Bring forward that joy, that intense delight at seeing him. That happiness at feeling his presence near you after a time away.”
Around the room, I saw smiles and nods. One of his sisters wrinkled up her nose, raised her shoulders, and beamed. It was so awesome to imagine having that reaction at just the thought of seeing someone—all that love, all that warmth. It had been a long time since I’d felt that, but I felt it nice and strong in that room. It was so powerful and palpable that I couldn’t stop myself from smiling too. “Really welcome him now. Really feel that joy. That joy at knowing Jimmy has arrived. Big breath in.” The medium inhaled through her mouth and held the breath. “And ouuuuut,” she said and exhaled it with such force that the candles on the table flickered.
It was fascinating because I could actually feel the energy in the room change. The seriousness somehow eased up—the tension over the celery seeds fell away. It was like there was an invisible light that changed the feel of things completely. Something very real was happening. But I had no idea what it was.
“Jimmy, is that you?” asked the medium. “Everybody here has been missing you terribly. And they need your help.”
At first, there was nothing. But then across the room, I saw the spotlight flicker on the big portrait of Uncle Jimmy. A very definite, very obvious flicker. Holy fuck. I froze with my camera on the portrait, zooming in close. The medium had everybody breathe in and out once again. On the outbreath, the bulb flickered even more. For an instant, it even went dark. The fact that Lily wasn’t there to see it annoyed me. What I would have given to see her eyes get wide and her mouth drop open. But as it was, I was the only one who had seen it. “Spotlight on the portrait,” I said under my breath. Most of the family turned to see what had happened, but the medium kept on with total focus.
With careful steps backward, I moved around the room, placing each foot cautiously before letting it take my weight. But the change in position also put me up against a window near the kitchen, and this one had a bigger gap between the blinds and the window frame. Through that gap I caught another glimpse of Lily. This time she was sitting up in the grass with her hair scooped over one shoulder. I could see her in profile, and she very delicately dipped her finger into the barbecue sauce. Her eyes closed with pleasure as she sucked it off her finger.
I turned away, focusing on a stack of menus. But the image of her puckered lips got stuck in my mind on a loop. Those lips. The way she kissed. The way she moaned.
The way I wanted her.
The more I tried not to think about her, the more I had to think about her. Her keeping me at arm’s length was going to make me crazy, and I knew it. Her hiding behind the conduct clause was going to make me tear apart that contract with my teeth. I sneaked one more peek at her outside, one last hit. Now she sat cross-legged with her back to me. Her shirt had inched up and it revealed the tiniest strip of the pink lace of her thong above her leggings. She had her earbuds in, and I could tell she was talking to someone on her phone. I saw her body shake with a laugh, and she leaned back with the biggest smile on her face and then flopped down into the grass, wiggling her toes.
When I turned my attention back to the medium, she was staring right at me. “Unfortunately, I’ve lost him. We almost had him.” She flared her nostrils but then smiled. “But then there was what you might call a tremor in the force.”