“How’s the Toys for Tots collection going?” Sophie asked, pulling money from the register to make a deposit.

Bella peered over her shoulder as Sophie counted the cash. “Damn. Tis the season! I’m glad we hired those two baker helpers. Without them we wouldn’t be able to keep up.”

“I know. It’s nice to be operating in the black. If it wasn’t for you buying in and becoming my partner, I’m not sure if the shop would’ve survived this year.”

“Bullshit, we make awesome cakes and cupcakes. Word of mouth is our best advertising.”

“And our cheapest. So... Toys for Tots?” Sophie asked again.

“Fine. I’m going to make a round tomorrow afternoon and will take the stuff out to D’s warehouse. Thankfully, it seems as though everyone in Shadow Valley stepped up.”

Sophie tucked the wad of cash into a blue bank bag and zipped it shut. “How’s the PD doing with theirs?”

Bella ignored her question. She hadn’t told Sophie what happened between her and Axel over a week ago. She hadn’t told anyone. It was still too raw, and she wasn’t done kicking herself for letting the man get to her. “Good thing the Knights stash wasn’t stolen.”

“Maybe next year it’s best not to have one location for storing them all,” Sophie suggested.

“Agreed.”

“Have you convinced Axel to come to the party?”

Bella moved down the counter to avoid Sophie’s prying eyes. “No, we haven’t discussed it yet.”

“Better soon.”

“Yeah,” she murmured.

“I still can’t believe Zak agreed to it. That’s good though. I’m glad. It gives me some hope.”

Bella didn’t want to dash Sophie’s hope. They’d find out soon enough when he didn’t show up at the party, which was only a week and a half away.

“Oh!” Sophie yelled out, grabbing her stomach.

Bella felt the blood rush from her face and her stomach turn. “What? Are you okay?”

“Oh my God!”

Bella rushed up to Sophie. “What? What’s wrong?”

Sophie was leaning back into the counter, the fingers of both her hands stretched along her lower belly. Suddenly Sophie’s hand snaked out and grabbed her wrist, pressing Bella’s hand flat to her belly before Bella could stop her.

“Feel that?”

No, she couldn’t. She couldn’t feel the baby. She desperately wanted to feel the baby, know she was okay. But she couldn’t feel anything.

Bella’s heart thumped heavily in her chest. And then she felt it. Movement of the life within Sophie’s womb. She tried to pry her hand away gently, but Sophie wouldn’t let go.

Sophie’s lips were moving quickly, her eyes wide and holding excitement. She was saying something, but Bella had no idea what. As if in a trance, she stared at her hand trapped on Sophie’s baby bump. But she was no longer in her own body, it was like she floated above it, looking down at the two of them.

Then the baby moved again under her palm and she squeezed her eyes shut, her head spinning.

She couldn’t see anything either. Everything was black. Everything throbbed. Her face, her arms, her legs, her belly.

Then her stomach churned and a sharp pain shot through her. Not the dull ache, not the sting. No, this was intense like someone was trying to rip out her guts. Someone was trying to steal the life that was inside her.

The one she had fought so hard to protect, but failed.

She failed.

She failed.

But so did he. He wanted to kill her. But from what she could tell she was still alive, still breathing, still bleeding. Her baby, too.

The baby just had to stay inside her belly where it was safe. It was the only way to keep her safe.

She couldn’t let him win.

Because if she died... If her baby didn’t survive...

He won.

The darkness crept in and surrounded her as she fell to her knees at Sophie’s feet.

A scream cut through her brain like a hatchet.

Was it her? It had to be. She was bleeding, and the pain was unbearable. She couldn’t move, her back was shoved into the corner of the cabinets, her hands shaking as she held onto her own belly. The movement beneath her fingers wasn’t joyous. No, it was frightening. She glanced up, her mouth agape as she stared up at Rebel.

His face was a mask of rage, his eyes hard, his hands covered in blood as he held the long, thin kitchen knife. He was screaming something at her.

Streaks of blood crisscrossed his leather cut and down his jeans. Was that his? Or hers? She looked down at herself, her white top now blood red as the soaked fabric clung to the small rise of her belly.

“Why?” she tried to ask him. But he didn’t respond. Maybe he didn’t hear her.

Why? Why would he do this? Only a monster would try to kill his wife and child. She did nothing wrong. She didn’t deserve this. This had to be a bad dream. A nightmare.

She just needed to wake herself up.

Because no one in their right mind would do something so horrific. Not to their own family.

She screamed and then clenched her teeth hard when the cramps twisted her insides.

No... No. No!

Wincing in pain, she slowly peeled the bottom of her blood soaked top up and saw three of the deep stab wounds along her abdomen. The ones he placed with a purpose once she was knocked to the floor. She closed her eyes and tried to take a breath, her mind racing. She needed to get help. Someone needed to save her baby.

But she couldn’t move. Her muscles wouldn’t cooperate; she was losing her strength by the second. Opening her eyes, she saw he was gone. She was finally alone.

But she was unable to help herself. She couldn’t scream for help, either. She couldn’t suck in enough of a breath to do so. The dizziness began to set in, spots crossing her vision, her body trembled, the sting of the wounds unbearable. The cramping in her gut telling.

Her eyelids felt as heavy as concrete blocks, but she forced them to remain open as she tried to look around, but her head refused to turn, her body refused to cooperate. Then she spotted it. Her cell phone in the puddle of blood she sat in. With a great effort, she forced her hand to drop and for what seemed like hours, she crept her fingers closer until the tips brushed the blood slickened phone. With one finger she tried to drag it closer. With excruciating slowness, she got it close enough to hit the power button on the side and tap 911 on the screen. She watched the call connect as it laid on the floor beside her.

When she heard, “Nine-one-one. What’s your emergency?” she again tried to scream for help, but the word just gurgled from her throat.

Someone help me. Someone help my baby. Someone...

“Hello? ... Do you need assistance? ... Hello?”

As if from a deep well she heard, “We have your location and police are on the way.”

No. She didn’t need police. She needed an ambulance. Why didn’t they know that? Why couldn’t she tell them?

The cops could do nothing. They couldn’t help her, help her unborn child.

Please. Please. Please. Hurry up. I’m dying. We’re dying.

Then she heard nothing. Only darkness and an eerie quiet remained.

* * *

Axel held Bella’s limp body against his as they laid on her narrow bed. He debated whether to take her to the hospital or just wait out whatever was happening. Which he had no fucking clue what that was. Fear clawed at his gut to see her in this semi-comatose state.

Her eyes were open, but she stared blankly. She couldn’t focus on him or anything around her. And he didn’t think she could feel his presence, either. Even so, he kept talking to her because he hoped that would bring her back from wherever she had disappeared to.

When Sophie had called him in a panic, he’d driven code three, lights and siren, directly to the bakery. He found Bella curled up on the floor, unresponsive but breathing, and her pulse attempting to beat out of her neck.

Sophie was freaking out, holding onto her stomach, but he didn’t have time to worry about her. He just made sure she had called Z to come home to the bakery to be with her.

Then he’d scooped Bella up, placed her gently into the back of his cruiser, took her home and placed her into bed. At first, he had covered her completely with her bedding since she was shivering uncontrollably. But soon she had become flush and overheated so he pulled them all back off.

A feeling of helplessness washed over him.

He was worried that her mind had broken, that she had completely snapped.

All of it was due to feeling his niece or nephew moving in Sophie’s belly. Something so simple sparked a reaction like he’d never seen before and never wanted to see again.

Sophie had been scared to death of Bella’s reaction. Not that he blamed her. He was, too.

He held her tightly against him and stroked her hair, whispering her name, pressing kisses to her temple and her forehead. “Bella. Please. Don’t make me take you to the hospital. Please.”

If he did, she would be committed and could be held involuntarily for up to five days. He couldn’t do that to her. Not if he didn’t have to.

“You need to break free of this.” He brushed a knuckle across her pale cheek. “You need to talk to me.”

He braced when he heard her front door open and a rush of heavy boots down the short hallway. Then he was there, filling up the doorway with a look Axel had never seen on the man’s face before.

Although the man could normally hide any emotions, Diesel couldn’t hide his worry when his eyes raked over Bella’s listless body. “What the fuck happened?”

“Sophie made her touch her stomach.”

His brows shot up his forehead and D took a step into the room. “So?”

“She felt the baby move.”

Diesel’s gaze slid from Axel to Bella and then back again. “So?”

“It made her... snap.”

“Fuckin’ cop, get to the point. Why would that make her snap?”

Fuck. “She never told you.”

Diesel took another step closer, looking like he wanted to tear Axel’s windpipe from his throat. “Told me what?”

Axel shut his eyes and shook his head. He shouldn’t tell him. It wasn’t his place to tell D her secret.

Suddenly, the massive man was next to the bed, towering over him and Bella. “Tell me what?” When Axel didn’t answer, D’s nostrils flared, and his eyes got hard. “Don’t make me pound it the fuck out of you.”

“What she lost,” he answered simply.

D’s dark eyes pinned him to the bed for a moment before moving to Bella. Even in her state, her arms embraced her lower stomach. His eyes landed there and he said nothing.

Axel knew D wasn’t stupid. He might appear to be a dumb biker, simply grunting and fighting his way through life, but he wasn’t. He was smart... He ran a business with a crew of former special ops who were as equally cunning. And Axel knew the second that Diesel put two and two together.

His face got dark, his brows went low, his mouth got tight. “Rebel,” he grunted. He lifted his gaze back to Axel. “She told you.”

It wasn’t a question, but more of an accusation. He was clearly not happy that Axel knew something he didn’t, especially since it was D’s job as club enforcer to protect everyone in the club, to be in the know. He took his responsibilities seriously. And, worse, Bella and D were close.

“Not by choice.” Axel took a deep breath. “I was the first on scene that day, remember?”

D studied him. “You knew then.”

“Yes.”

“You told no one.”

“I did what she asked.”

D gave him a sharp nod. Was that a nod of respect? Impossible.

“I’m here. You can go.”

Axel was not going anywhere. D would have to physically remove him. “Diesel, she needs to snap out of this.”

“She will,” he answered with confidence.

Axel tilted his head to stare up at the larger man. “How do you know?”

“Done it before. Didn’t realize...” He stopped, a muscle in his jaw ticking. “Didn’t know it all.”

Axel glanced down into Bella’s face. She still stared off at nothing. Her eyes unfocused. He’d hoped that D’s voice would pull her back to the surface. But it didn’t. “She’s not going to be happy I told you.”

“Didn’t tell me. Guessed.”

“Right.” Semantics. No matter what, Bella would be pissed about it. If she wanted D to know she would have told him years ago.

“Get gone now,” D said, but his words lacked any force behind them.

Axel steeled himself, tightening his arm around Bella’s shoulders. “I’m not leaving.”

“Not your decision,” D said, planting those meaty hands of his on his hips.

Axel had no plans on getting up close and personal with one of those fists again any time soon. His face still bore the discoloration from the last time. But, no matter what, he wasn’t leaving.

“Not going, D. If you feel the need to hit me again, then I’ll take it like a man, but I’m not leaving her.”

D’s nostrils flared. “In uniform it’ll be ag assault.”

Axel glanced down his own body. His uniform shirt was unbuttoned from the collar to mid-chest, his undershirt was peeking out, his duty belt was in the corner of the room, and his boots by the bed. He hadn’t bothered to undress Bella, either. He’d only removed her shoes before settling in next to her, just in case he did end up taking her to the hospital to commit her.

“She on meds?”

D shook his head. “Right after. Then stopped.”

“She needs—”

“Fuck she does,” he barked, cutting Axel off.

Axel frowned. “How is she going to deal with the baby once it’s born? She and Sophie work together. And this baby isn’t going to be the only one in the future for the club.”

“She’ll deal.”

“She’s got PTSD, Diesel.”

Something flashed behind his eyes, but, again, he hid it quickly. “Yep.”

Yep? That’s what his answer was? An emotionless “yep?”

“Got us. All she needs.”

Axel’s fists clenched. He wanted to argue with D. He was starting to rethink how smart the man was. “This isn’t a ‘it takes a village’ type of situation. It’s serious.”

“Know it. Now, you goin’?”

“No.”

D practically bared his teeth. “Fuckin’ pig.”

Axel sighed. There was the Diesel he knew and loved. He shook his head. “Never changes, does it?”

“Nope. Not when you wear a fuckin’ badge. Not when you an’ your brothers are ready an’ willin’ to take us down.”

“Stay on the right side of the law and there’d be no risk of that.”

D grunted. “Time for you to get gone, cop. Got it from here.”

“I don’t think you do,” Axel said low, with warning.

D’s head jerked back, then he leaned forward enough to make Axel a little worried. Just a little.

Axel’s heart thumped in his chest. “I’m not going anywhere, so fuck off.”

D’s eyes widened for a split second but he hid his reaction quickly. “Gun’s in the corner. Wanna get it so this is a fair fight?”

Was this man serious? Bella was in the middle of a mental breakdown and he wanted to get into it over who was going to take care of her? “Don’t need it because you’re going to get gone and let me handle this.”

D cocked a brow at him. “I am.” Not a question but a challenge. One Axel was ready to meet.

Axel cocked one back. “Yeah, you are.”

D’s eyes flicked to Bella then back to him. When he leaned forward more, Axel braced himself for another ass kicking. But the bigger man just reached out and brushed his fingers along Bella’s pale cheek, then he straightened and pinned Axel with his gaze. “Don’t fuck it up.”

D spun on his heel and strode out of the bedroom.

Axel finally breathed when he heard the front door close.

* * *

Bella’s eyes popped open, and she stared up at the ceiling in the dark. She’d done it again. Disappeared. Lost herself. Lost time.

All because of something she should’ve been able to handle, but couldn’t. Because she was weak. Unable to control her emotions, her mind.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment to settle her thoughts.

She knew she was in her bedroom but she had no idea how she got there.

Diesel most likely. Throughout the years when she broke down or got lost, he was usually the one to find her and pull her back out from the black abyss. From those dark memories.

But D would never climb into bed with her. If anything he’d hold her in his lap on the couch or the floor until she “woke up.”

And whoever was pressed against her in her narrow bed was not nearly as bulky as him, anyway.

She breathed deeply and caught his scent, listened to his steady breathing, his fingers buried in her hair, one arm over her waist.

She was fully dressed still, and it seemed so was he.

Someone had called Axel instead of D.

Sophie.

Bella didn’t blame her, the woman still thought that she was seeing Axel. She didn’t realize that they’d decided to let things go finally.

Sophie wouldn’t have known.

Her head pounded with a headache and she needed an aspirin or three to reduce the pounding pain at her temples. Her mouth was as dry as cotton and she was way too warm from being held so closely to Axel’s body. She shifted to break his hold.

“Stay.” His gruff voice asked, “What do you need?”

You to leave my bed. For you to stop breaking my heart. “I’m fine. You can go now.”

The silence between them grew by the second.

Finally, he said softly, “You scared me.”

Bella squeezed her eyes shut, and she sucked in a shaky breath. “Sorry. It happens sometimes.”

“What are you doing about it?”

She didn’t want to discuss it. She didn’t want to reveal her weakness any more than she already had. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.”

“Nothing for you to worry about.”

“Bullshit, Bella.

She pushed out of his arms and sat up, dropping her legs over the side of the bed and holding her throbbing head in both of her hands.

“What do you need?” he asked again more firmly, sitting up.

“I can get it.”

“Bella,” he said, his voice holding a tinge of frustration and anger.

She sighed. “Water. Aspirin.”

She heard him get off the other side of the bed. “I’ll get it. Stay here.”

He switched on the bedside lamp and the room lit up with a muted glow from the bandana draped over the shade.

She peered over her shoulder at him. He was in uniform, though it was not neatly pressed like normal. The fabric of his shirt was badly wrinkled, half of the buttons undone, the tails untucked from the waistband. He was bootless and his duty belt was missing.

She watched him move stiffly from the room. Her bed was way too small for the two of them. She knew it that first night he stayed over. But there was no reason to upgrade her bed. He had said he was done with her. That he didn’t want to deal with her connections to the club if they were in any way questionable.

She didn’t blame him. So he shouldn’t be here.

What the fuck happened?

He was back in minutes, a bottle of water and generic aspirin in hand. He handed them to her after opening both.

She took a gulp of the cold water, then downed three pills before placing both bottles on the nightstand.

He sat down on the bed next to her, close but not touching. “Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

He said nothing for a minute.

“Next time, get Diesel,” she said finally.

“He was here.”

She glanced at him in surprise.

“He threatened to beat my ass if I didn’t leave.”

“And you stayed?”

“I wasn’t leaving.”

“Why, Axel?”

“Because... I couldn’t.”

“You should have. You should’ve left and let D handle it.”

“I don’t think he realizes the magnitude—”

“And you do?” she cut him off. “He does. He knows.”

“He didn’t know everything.”

Her stomach churned. “And now he does? You told him?” she asked, her heart in her throat.

“He figured it out.”

“He couldn’t have,” she whispered, her mind spinning.

“He’s not stupid. He put two and two together.”

It was bad enough that Axel knew, but now Diesel...

Axel continued, “You should’ve told him a long time ago.”

“Not your business.”

He stared at the floor and nodded. “You’re right.”

Bella didn’t expect that answer from him and she was surprised at the ache it caused in her chest. She expected more of a fight from him. “You should go.”

His chest rose and fell as he inhaled deeply, then he pushed to his feet and avoided her gaze as he moved around to the other side of the bed. “I have to go back to the station, anyway. I’ve had the cruiser all night.”

Bella listened as he yanked his boots on, laced them up, then grabbed his duty belt and patrol jacket. She didn’t watch him this time as he headed out of her bedroom door and down the hallway.

She closed her eyes as the front door clicked softly.

Axel was gone.