CHAPTER 10
JANE HAD CALLED CAL PATTERSON A COWARD and a fool, and she’d meant it. Add to that stubborn, unreasonable, infuriating… and worse.
Dr. Big City. Big plans. Big bucks. Each time his words came to mind she grew more furious. After all the time she’d spent with him how could he know so little about her? That really hurt.
By Thursday she was exhausted. Sleep eluded her and she’d rarely been so frustrated or out of sorts.
Ellie stopped by the clinic late Thursday afternoon when the office was technically closed. Jenny led her back to the office, where Jane sat making a desultory attempt to organize the top of her desk.
“I take it this is a personal visit,” Jane said after Jenny had left.
“Have you got a few minutes?” Ellie asked.
Jane nodded. “For you I do, but not if you’re here to talk about Cal.”
“Fair enough,” Ellie said, entering the room. She sat in the chair across from Jane’s desk.
“You know what infuriates me most?” Jane blurted, her anger spilling over. “It’s that Cal didn’t have the common decency to talk this over with me. Oh, no, he just assumes I’m returning to California without so much as waiting to hear my side.”
“Jane, I thought you didn’t want to talk about him.”
“Forget I said that.” Jane shook her head. “And you know? That’s not the worst of it,” she went on. “Not only doesn’t he hear me out, he sends me away like I’m a child he can order around.”
“I’ll admit—”
Jane interrupted her. “He was completely out of line in what he said. If he didn’t want to see me again, fine, but to insult me—that was going too far.”
“He insulted you?” Ellie sounded appropriately outraged.
“Tell me, do I look like a big-city doctor to you?” Jane demanded without expecting a response. “I don’t even wear makeup anymore. Well, maybe a little mascara and lipstick, but that’s all. I haven’t washed my car in months. I wear jeans practically all the time.” She took a deep breath. “And when’s the last time you saw a big-city doctor asking some disgruntled rancher to teach her how to ride? A rancher who implies that this supposed big-city doctor is only interested in money, by the way.”
“He said that?” Ellie was clearly shocked.
“Sort of. And more—like it was time I left.”
“Cal suggested you leave Promise?”
“No, the ranch, which I did, but not before I put in my two cents’ worth.”
“Good for you!”
“I told him he was a coward.”
Ellie’s eyes widened. “You told Cal what?”
“That he’s a coward, and I said it to his face.”
“What did he say?”
Jane paused and tried to remember. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Nothing memorable, anyway.”
Ellie clapped her hands, apparently enjoying the details of Jane’s final skirmish with Cal. Her outrage, however, only helped so much. “I hope you’re here to tell me how utterly miserable he is.” It would boost Jane’s deflated ego to learn he was pining away for her.
“Actually,” Ellie said, her gaze warm with sympathy, “I haven’t seen him, so I can’t. But Glen has.”
“Oh?” Jane’s spirits lifted hopefully.
“Apparently Cal’s been pretty closemouthed about you.”
Those same spirits sank again, even lower than before.
“But Glen did say Cal’s been in a bitch of a mood.”
Jane couldn’t have held back a smile to save her soul. So…the man was suffering. Good.
“I don’t mean to be nosy—” Ellie’s gaze shifted uncomfortably to her hands “—but what happened? Everything seemed to be going so nicely.”
“You tell me!” Jane cried. “My parents arrived as a birthday surprise, and we went to dinner and Cal joined us.”
“So he’s met your parents.”
“Yes, but I rue the day. No,” she said, changing her mind, “I’m glad it happened before…” She hesitated. “Actually, it’s too late for that.”
“You’re falling in love with Cal?” Ellie asked bluntly.
“I’ve already fallen.” Might as well admit it. “I felt close to him—closer than I have to anyone. For the first time since my college days there was someone in my life who…” She let the rest fade.
Ellie was silent for a minute. “You weren’t far off, you know.”
“About what?”
“Cal being a coward. He is afraid.”
“Of what? Me moving back to California? Give me a break, Ellie. I’ve been here less than a year and my contract’s for three. Do I need to decide right this minute if I’m going to live in Promise for the rest of my life?”
“No.”
Jane ignored the response, too keyed up to stop now. “He’s being more than a little unreasonable, if you ask me.”
“I agree with you.”
“I’m not another Jennifer Healy.”
“I know that. Glen knows that. You know that,” Ellie said.
“But not Cal.”
“Not Cal.”
Jane brushed a stray hair from her face. “I told him I loved him,” she said, revealing the most intimate and embarrassing part of their argument. She’d exposed her heart to him, and he’d not only dismissed her feelings, he’d denied his own.
“Oh, Jane, just be patient. He’ll figure it out. Eventually.”
“He might have offered me a reason to stay,” she said, her voice little more than a whisper.
Ellie sighed expressively. “I don’t know what it is about men in Texas. They’re stubborn as the day is long.”
“Proud, too,” Jane added. “Way too proud.”
“Impatient.”
“Uncommunicative.”
Ellie nodded, then sighed again. “Wonderful. Loving. Protective and gentle and passionate.”
Jane closed her eyes, not wanting to confuse the issue with anything positive.
“Are you going to Caroline and Grady’s wedding on Saturday?” Ellie asked her, abruptly changing the subject.
“Caroline asked me to cut the cake.”
“Cal will be there,” Ellie warned.
“Cal is Grady’s best man.” For half a heartbeat Jane toyed with the idea of finding an excuse to skip the wedding, but she refused to let Cal Patterson influence where she went or what she did. “I’d better get used to seeing him around town,” Jane said, more for her own sake than Ellie’s. “We won’t be able to avoid running into each other now and then.”
A saucy grin appeared on Ellie’s face. “That’s exactly what I was thinking. Cal’s going to see you at the wedding. He’ll see you at the grocery store and the Chili Pepper and bingo. And every time he goes to the post office he’ll drive by the clinic.”
“Heaven help him if he gets sick,” Jane said.
“That would be horrible, wouldn’t it?” Ellie said, sounding almost gleeful at the prospect.
“Absolutely horrible,” Jane agreed.
Ellie shivered delightedly. “I can hardly wait.”
Jane laughed for the first time in days. “I can’t wait to give this stubborn Texas rancher a booster shot in places men don’t like to talk about.”
* * *
THE LAST NIGHT of the three-day midweek cruise, Dovie decided to join Mary and Phil Patterson in the lounge for drinks and dancing. Mary had been after her the entire trip to make herself more accessible to the single men on board, but Dovie couldn’t see the point.
The music was from the forties and fifties, and judging by the crowd on the dance floor, the audience appreciated it.
“I’m so glad you decided to join us,” Mary said, greeting Dovie at the door and leading her to a small table at the back of the room.
“I couldn’t see spending our last night aboard doing something silly like sleeping,” Dovie teased.
Mary patted her hand. “I wish you’d enjoyed the cruise more.”
“But I did,” Dovie assured her friend. It had been the perfect escape. Being away from Frank had given her some perspective on the relationship and on the difficulties she and Frank had encountered.
A waiter came for her drink order, and Dovie asked for a glass of white wine. Maybe what she needed was a little something to loosen her inhibitions. Actually she felt better than she had in weeks—although she still missed Frank.
“I couldn’t believe the way you took to the water! I wouldn’t have guessed you were that much of a swimmer.”
It’d been years since she’d gone swimming, but Dovie’d had no intention of wasting an opportunity like this. For her, the highlight of the cruise had been snorkeling off the Yucatán Peninsula. Viewing the different species of colorful and exotic sea life was an experience she would long remember. She said as much to Mary.
“But your thoughts were on Frank,” Mary replied.
Dovie couldn’t deny it. Three days away, and she was dreadfully homesick, feeling more than a little lost and confused. Mostly she was angry with herself for having done something as foolish as putting her home up for sale. Promise was where she belonged, and she wasn’t about to let Frank Hennessey chase her away. Dovie didn’t blame Frank, but herself; she’d simply overreacted to his dating Tammy Lee.
The music started again and Phil stood, ready to escort his wife onto the dance floor.
Mary hesitated.
“Go on, you two,” Dovie urged, her own foot tapping to the music.
To her surprise, no more than thirty seconds had passed before a distinguished-looking man approached her table. “Would you care to dance?”
Dovie stared at him as if this was the most complex question she’d ever been asked. “Yes,” she said, deciding suddenly. She stood up and placed her hand in his.
“I’m Gordon Pawling,” he said as he slid his arm around her waist and guided her onto the dance floor.
“Dovie Boyd,” she said.
“I know.”
She looked at him in surprise. “How?”
“I asked your friends the first night of the cruise.”
Dovie remembered Mary mentioning a tall handsome man who’d questioned her about Dovie. While it had salved her ego to know that someone had asked to meet her, Dovie wasn’t interested in a holiday romance. The only man she’d ever loved other than her husband was Frank Hennessey. She still did love Frank. She wasn’t a woman who loved lightly or gave her heart easily.
The crowded floor forced Dovie and her partner to dance more closely than she would have liked. Gordon, too, seemed uncomfortable with the way they were shoved together, but as the dance went on, they both relaxed.
She liked him. He didn’t talk her ear off with tales of how successful or well-known he was. He simply held her close. It surprised her how good it felt to be in a man’s arms again, even if the man was little more than a stranger.
When the number was finished, Gordon escorted her back to the table. “Thank you, Dovie.”
“Thank you.”
Mary and Phil approached.
“He’s a lucky man, whoever he is,” Gordon said.
Dovie frowned, wondering how he knew she was in love with someone else. Mary must have said something.
“I see you’ve met your admirer,” Mary said, dabbing her handkerchief on her damp brow. “Won’t you join us—Gordon, isn’t it?”
Gordon looked to Dovie to second the invitation.
She could see no harm in it. “Please,” she said and gestured toward the empty chair next to her own.
“Thank you.”
Gordon bought a round of drinks.
“Phil Patterson,” Phil said, stretching his hand across the table for Gordon to shake.
“Gordon Pawling.”
“Where are you from, Gordon?” Mary asked.
“Toronto, Canada.”
Phil nodded. “I understand that’s a beautiful city.”
“It is,” Gordon agreed.
“We’re from Texas,” Mary said, and Dovie nearly laughed out loud. No one listening to their accent would have guessed anywhere else.
“A little town in the hill country called Promise,” Phil put in.
“Promise,” Gordon repeated.
“Dovie owns an antique store there.” Mary’s voice held a note of pride.
“And we have the bed-and-breakfast,” Phil added.
“I’m a retired judge,” Gordon said.
“A judge.” Mary’s eyebrows rose slightly as she glanced at Dovie. She seemed to be saying that Gordon was a catch she shouldn’t let slip through her fingers.
“Retired,” Gordon was quick to remind them. “I haven’t served on the bench for three years now.”
“Do you travel much?” Mary asked. “Is that how you’re spending your retirement?”
“Let’s dance, Mary,” her husband said pointedly. He got up and didn’t give his wife much of an option.
Mary’s reluctance showed as she rose to her feet.
As soon as they were out of earshot, Dovie felt she should apologize for Mary’s questions. “You’ll have to forgive my friend,” Dovie said. “It’s just that Mary’s encouraging me to see other men.” Once the words left her lips, she realized more explanation was required. “I’ve been seeing someone…in Promise…for quite a few years. We had a difference of opinion and now he’s dating another woman.” It hurt to say the words even to someone she wasn’t likely to see after tonight.
Gordon reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “I need to revise my opinion of your male friend. He didn’t know a treasure when he found it.”
Dovie smiled. “Have you been talking to Mary?”
Gordon’s smile was gentle. “No.”
Dovie looked toward the dance floor and smiled, too. “Shall we?” she asked, preferring that they dance rather than discuss her relationship with Frank.
“It’d be my pleasure.” Gordon stood and offered Dovie his hand.
They danced every dance for the rest of the night. At midnight they attended the buffet. Dovie’s appetite had been lacking; even the lavish display of pastries and other goodies hadn’t tempted her. Not once during the three days had she stayed awake long enough to partake of the midnight buffet.
Tonight, however, she was famished. Gordon Pawling filled his plate, and Dovie wasn’t shy about helping herself, either. Mary and Phil were right behind them in the buffet line.
“I’m going to have to diet for a month after this,” Mary complained.
“Make that two,” Phil teased, and Mary elbowed him in the ribs.
Too full to think about sleeping, Dovie gladly accepted Gordon’s invitation for a stroll on the deck when they’d finished eating.
The night was beautiful. Out in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico, miles from land and the lights of the city, the stars blazed, filling the sky.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many stars,” Dovie said, leaning against the ship’s railing.
“In Northern Ontario,” Gordon said, “in the dead of winter when it seems like spring is only a distant promise, the stars look like this. When a fresh snowfall reflects the moonlight and starlight, it’s almost as bright as day.”
“It sounds lovely,” Dovie said wistfully. “I’ve never been to Canada,” she confessed. “I’m afraid I’m not much of a traveler. This is my first cruise.”
“Mine, too.”
“I wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t for Mary and Phil. Mary thought it was what I needed—to get away for a time.”
“Was it?”
“Yes,” she admitted after a moment. “I think it was exactly the right thing to do.”
“I came because of my son.”
Dovie heard the smile in his voice.
“Bill seemed to think that two years was enough time for me to grieve the loss of his mother. He insisted I take a cruise, and when I balked, he purchased the ticket himself and presented it to me on my birthday.”
“He sounds like a determined young man.”
“Very much so,” Gordon said. “He’s a younger version of me, I fear. He followed in my footsteps and seems headed for the bench.”
“Your wife’s been gone two years, then?”
“Yes,” he said, and sadness weighted his words. “I loved her for forty years and I don’t know if it’s possible for me to love anyone else.”
“It is possible,” Dovie told him. Her own experience had taught her that.
“I’m beginning to think you’re right,” he said.
They turned away from the railing and Gordon tucked her hand in the crook of his arm. They walked together in silence, their pace leisurely, and they spoke of their lives and marriages and dreams.
An hour later she still wasn’t tired, but they’d be disembarking the next morning and things would be hectic. She knew she should get some sleep.
Gordon escorted Dovie to her cabin. “Thank you,” she murmured. The night had been perfect in every way.
“All the appreciation is mine,” Gordon said, then very slowly leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.
Dovie blinked back sudden tears.
Gordon reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a business card. “My home phone number is listed here,” he said. “In case things don’t work out with your friend….”
Dovie accepted the card.
“Will you call?” he asked.
“I…I don’t know.” She didn’t want to lead him into believing something might come of this one night.
“I’m very grateful to you, Dovie Boyd,” he said. “For this evening. And for showing me that my son might possibly be right.”
But Dovie was the one who needed to thank him. She’d learned something, too.
Her life could go on without Frank. And in time, she might fall in love again….
* * *
CAL WAS AWARE of Jane’s presence the minute he escorted Savannah Smith down the church aisle. Grady’s sister was serving as matron of honor to Caroline Daniels, and he was best man.
Every pew in Promise Christian Church was filled. It seemed as if half the town—and half the county—had come to Caroline and Grady’s wedding. Being the postmistress, Caroline knew just about everyone, and they knew and liked her. Grady, too. The integrity with which he’d handled Richard’s debts was no small thing, and the merchants of Promise felt both gratitude and respect. This was a chance for the townspeople and ranchers to show how much Grady and Caroline meant to their community.
Cal didn’t see Jane, but he knew she was in the church. He felt her there, and as hard as he tried to ignore her, he found it impossible. After walking with Savannah down the aisle, Cal joined Grady, who stood next to the altar. The organ music swelled through the sanctuary as Caroline appeared at the back of the church.
Cal heard Grady’s soft intake of breath as he gazed at his bride. Caroline looked lovely in her dress, complete with veil and a long train. Cal smiled as he glanced at Maggie, wearing a green velvet dress for her role as flower girl.
Then his eyes sought out Jane. She sat on the bride’s side, wearing a pearl white suit with big gold buttons. Accustomed to seeing her in jeans and a Western shirt, he didn’t recognize her for a moment. Damn, but she was beautiful.
Cal forced his attention away from her and looked at Caroline, whom Frank Hennessey was walking down the aisle. He soon found his gaze wandering back to Jane. Her eyes refused to meet his, which was just as well.
He regretted the way they’d parted. Both of them had been angry, saying hurtful things, things they didn’t mean. He’d told himself that sometimes it was necessary to be cruel to be kind—only in this case he was the one who’d suffered. He’d been miserable and lonely since that day. He knew their confrontation hadn’t been easy for her, either, but she certainly seemed to be faring better than he was.
She might still be angry, but after a while she’d see that this was for the best. When the time came, she’d return to the life she’d always known in California. Her career plans were already in place—and they didn’t include practicing medicine in rural America. They didn’t include falling in love with a rancher.
The organ music faded, and Caroline joined Grady at the front of the church. Wade McMillen stepped forward to preside over the ceremony, smiling at the happy couple.
Before Caroline and Grady exchanged their vows, Wade had a few words to say about love and marriage.
Since he intended never to fall in love again, Cal only listened with half an ear. It wasn’t until Wade said, “Love doesn’t come with any guarantees,” that Cal paid attention.
That was what he’d wanted. A guarantee. He wanted Jane to promise she’d never leave him. He’d been waiting for her to assure him that her future would always include him.
Without that guarantee, he hadn’t been willing to take the risk.
The remainder of the ceremony was a blur in Cal’s mind. He handed Grady the wedding band at the appropriate moment and escorted Savannah back down the center aisle following the ceremony.
Later, at the reception, he stood in the receiving line and exchanged chitchat with the guests as they paused to greet the newlyweds and other members of the wedding party.
Grady and Caroline were ecstatic. Maggie was with them and proudly referred to Grady as her daddy. As Cal watched he felt a sharp emptiness in the pit of his stomach. Overnight Grady had a wife and a daughter, and he’d pledged his life to them with nothing to safeguard the future. He’d stood before his family, friends and God and promised to love Caroline for the rest of his life. Without knowing what the next day held, or the next year. Whatever the future might bring, he was willing to love Caroline and Maggie.
The emptiness inside Cal increased. He loved Jane, but unless he was offered a money-back guarantee, he hadn’t been willing to risk his heart by telling her how he felt.
When he lost Jennifer, he’d simply stepped aside and let her walk out of his life without saying one word to stop her. He’d done the same thing with Jane, only this time he’d loved much more deeply. Because of that, he hadn’t just let her go; he’d pushed her out the door with both hands.
He’d refused to commit himself to the love he felt. Not without reassurances first.
As the wedding guests progressed down the receiving line, Cal saw Jane moving toward him. His heart reacted immediately, leaping with a rush of excitement at the mere sight of her. His mind buzzed with ideas of what he should say. Something pithy, something profound; he couldn’t decide what.
Before he had the opportunity to display his wit and charm, she was there, standing in front of him, her hand in his.
“Hello, Cal,” she said. Her eyes seemed to sear right through him. Then without warning she proceeded to the next person in line.
Cal yearned to call her back, to say he deserved more than a casual greeting, but he couldn’t. The next guests stood directly in front of him and he was obliged to greet them.
Cal continued to greet the wedding guests. Whenever he could, he sought out Jane with his eyes. He saw her serve wedding cake and chat with each person, joking and laughing. If she was miserable without him, he’d be hard pressed to prove it.
He recalled the first few months after Jane had moved to Promise and how the people in town had avoided her. The fault had been on both sides. Jane had arrived with her newfangled ideas and big-city attitude, and folks in town hadn’t been too tolerant. There’d been some unwarranted assumptions made by Jane, but also by the people of Promise.
All that had changed in the past two months. Jane had mellowed, made new friends, gained the confidence of people here. He remembered the night Jeremy Bishop had broken his arm and the gentleness she’d displayed to both the boy and his terrified mother.
Little Maggie Daniels had brought her the rag doll because she knew Dr. Jane could be trusted.
Cal had seen for himself her passion for medicine and the way she’d squared off against death, fighting every way she knew how to save Richard Weston’s life.
Damn it all, he was in love with her, and his feelings weren’t likely to change. If he wanted a guarantee for the future, he wasn’t going to find one. Not with Jane. Not with any woman.
He hadn’t liked it when Jane called him a coward. Even now it wasn’t easy to admit she’d been right.
The cake was almost gone before Cal found the courage to approach the table.
“Is there a piece for me?” he asked.
Jane glanced up and he could tell by the look on her face that she was surprised to see him.
“I believe there are a few pieces left,” she said cordially enough, but she gave herself away when she refused to meet his eyes. She reached for a plate and handed it to him.
He cleared his throat and said, “You look very pretty.”
“Thank you. I bought this suit in downtown Los Angeles.”
Cal let the comment slide. “Something’s wrong with Atta Girl.” He said the first thing that came to mind.
That got her attention. “What?”
“It’s nothing to worry about,” he told her, then grabbed a glass of punch and walked away. That was a dirty trick, but he was willing to use whatever he had to.
Cal found a vacant table at the other end of the hall and sat down. He hadn’t been there a minute when Jane pulled out a chair and joined him.
“What’s wrong with Atta Girl?” she demanded.
“She misses you,” Cal said between bites of cake.
Jane stared at him as if she hadn’t understood a word.
“I miss you, too,” he said, swallowing his pride along with the wedding cake.
“Oh, Cal.”
“Do they have cattle ranches in California?” he asked.
Her brow puckered in a frown. “I don’t know—I’m sure they must.”
“Good. I was thinking of moving there.”
“To California?” Her voice rose a full octave. “In the name of heaven, why?”
This was where it became difficult, but having made his decision, he wasn’t going to renege now. “Looks like I’m going to have to if I want to be near you.”
Jane was on her feet so fast the chair nearly toppled backward. “You’re taking a lot for granted, Cal Patterson.”
“Perhaps,” he agreed, recognizing his own response the day they’d argued and she told him he loved her. “But the way I figure it, if we’re going to get married and you’ve already agreed to join your uncle’s medical practice, this is the only solution.”
Jane glared at him as though it was all she could do not to slap him.
“You are going to marry me, aren’t you?” he asked.