Chapter 31

[The Dukes’ Club Country House

Late Afternoon

Cordelia picked up a small, horsehair brush from the planks set up as a table in the field by the barrow and swept it over the piece of harness they’d discovered this morning in the debris near the burial.

She focused on it very carefully, very slowly, extracting the dirt from the beaten gold. If she studied it and toiled over it she wouldn’t have to think about what must be done next. That she’d have to go abroad, Naples perhaps, to have her child, and then. . . And then? Well, she didn’t know. She’d think of something.

It was terrifying feeling so alone. She couldn’t even ask Kathryn to go with her. The Duchess was already four months along and the last thing Cordy wished was to add to her kind friend and patron’s concerns.

She supposed the fear would dissipate as she grew more accustomed. After all, she already loved the growing child in her belly. But oh how her heart ached, knowing she would never see Jack again, but at least she could respect herself. She’d not been low enough to trap him as his grandmother, the surprising kind old bat, had suggested. For years all she’d longed for was freedom. She would not now in turn, deny such a thing to the man she loved.

“I think you’ve removed all the dirt.”

Cordy stopped mid brush, her heart jumping into her throat. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t be him. But she knew that rich, sensual voice anywhere. “Its important to be thorough,” she said, forcing herself to be calm.

There was a long beat of silence before he said gently, “You weren’t going to tell me?

Her shoulders sagged and any hope that might have sparked in her heart just a moment ago dimmed. He had not come here for her. He’d come because he knew. He knew that now, forever, they’d be linked by the child growing in her womb. It was the strangest thing, to love the baby in her body, even though it promised to add incredible difficulty to her life and incite obligation, not love, in the man she’d given her heart to. “No. I was not.”

He took a step forward, and laid his strong hand upon her shoulder. “Why?”

Her entire body came alive at his touch and she longed to turn to him, to slip into his embrace and accept the protection he’d no doubt come to give her. But she couldn’t bare looking at him, so she lifted her gaze to the barrow. She studied the stakes and string which had been used to mark sections of the dig. “You made it rather clear how you felt the last time I saw you.”

His touch slid to the nape of her neck, his fingers winding into the curls. “I was afraid.”

Good lord, that soft touch, pulsed through her, stealing her of reason. She wouldn’t be swayed. She wouldn’t. She had to remain firm in her resolve to give him his freedom and keep her honor. She wouldn’t take a man who only wished her because of the child within her. “Pardon?”

“I was afraid, Cordy,” he whispered, angling his body so it shielded her from the salty wind sweeping up from the coast. “Of being different than I always have been, of how I’ve always expected to be.”

She shook her head, not willing to give herself hope as she’d done before. He didn’t love her. He never had. “I don’t understand.”

“Will you look at me?”

She bit down on her lower lip, seeking a strength that had always been there for her in the past, which seemed to have scampered off in her lovelorn days. Lifting her chin, she turned towards him and lifted her gaze to meet his dark one. It was nearly her undoing, looking upon the face she loved so well. Clearing her throat, she lifted a brow, determined not to open herself as she’d done before. “Yes?”

“I had to run from you.”

She snorted. “You did not.”

A glint of humor brightened his dark eyes. “I did. And if you’ll listen, you’ll know why.”

Grudgingly, she folded her arms under her breast, brush still in hand, ready to go back to her work.

He drew in a deep breath then began, “You were making me see I didn’t have to be that person. I’d been told all my life that I wasn’t good. That I didn’t deserve anything and you. . . Glorious you, insisted that I did. That it wasn’t my actions, but my father’s pain which had shaped me.”

She stared at him, disbelieving the words coming out of his mouth. At last she said, “I still believe that to be true.”

“And now, so do I.”

She eyed him carefully, unwilling to leap. She needed him to say exactly how he felt. She would assume nothing. Assumptions had gotten her nowhere. “What does that mean exactly?”

His face grew serious and shockingly vulnerable. “It means I want you to be my wife. I want you to give me a chance to prove to you, that I am a good man. ”

“I already know that you are a good man,” she said, tears stinging her eyes. “But I will not have you simply because we are to have a child. Most women would—”

“You aren’t most women, Cordy. You are a strong, tenacious woman who deserves everything this world has to offer and I want to give it to you. You say, I am a good man? Will you stand with me? While I discover it? Will you let me love you as you deserve while I am loved in turn. . . As I deserve.”

She put the down the brush, desperate to jump into his arms. Yet, she couldn’t. She’d leapt before and crashed to the ground. “I want to, with all my heart. . .”

He nodded. “But it is you who is now afraid?”

“I gave you my heart and—”

“I didn’t realize I could accept it, sweetheart,” he said gently. “But now I know, that I can have you. We’ve been given a gift. A remarkably blessed gift. I never thought I could be a father, or that a woman would wish to be with me long enough to raise a babe. But you did. You pursued me and did everything in your power to wake me up from the nightmare I’d been living in. I love you. I loved you then. I love you now. I will love you every day of my life.”

A tear slipped down her cheek as he spoke the words she longed to hear for so long. “How do I believe that you will feel this way tomorrow?”

“We can never know what tomorrow brings.” He took her hands in his. Softly. Reverently. “We can only trust in today. But everyday, we can work to ensure that our love will be strong tomorrow.”

She drew in an astounded breath. “When did you become so wise?”

“Since I met my wife.”

Another tear slipped down her cheek and she pulled her hand form his to dash it away. “Silly emotions.”

He caught her fingers then oh so gently stroked that tear with his thumb. “Your emotions are as beautiful as your intellect.”

“Flatterer.”

Cupping her cheek in his palm, he whispered, “I intend to flatter you everyday for the rest of your life. So you best get used to it.”

It hardly seemed possible, what he was saying. But it was true. He was here and the look in his eyes was full of hope, of love. “I shall endeavor.”

“Good,” he said brightly. “Now, there is something I want you to do with me.”

“Yes?” She’d do anything to celebrate the moment he’d realized he was worthy of love. She’d march to the bloody Antipodes or have tea with his grandmother.”

“Come with me to my home, and say good bye to my father and my brother with me. Help me say goodbye to the past so that I can have a future with you and our child.”

Cordelia drew in a deep breath, barely able to believe she was standing with the same man who’d been so sure he’d deserved nothing but pain. But here he was, before her, his dark eyes full of wonder. “Yes.” A laugh tumbled from her. “Yes. I will.”

A smile lifted his lips, parting them with pure joy. Greedily, he took her in his arms and swung her around. “I love you, duchess. I love you.”

Holding tightly to his shoulders, her feet barely dancing upon the ground, she felt light as air. “And I you.”

“And I love our child. I will always love it. Whoever it is, what ever happens.” He tilted her head back, pulling her close. “Our child will always know that there is hope and love in this world.”

And she knew it was true. Their child would know the love and safety that they never had, because they loved each other. Because they were willing to accept each other, no matter how rough their road had been. Between them, love would always triumph.