Chapter Seven
Kate knew the masquerade ball theme for the reunion dance was supposed to be romantic and sexy, but all she wanted to do was vomit. She could practically feel the gazes on her as she moved through the auditorium, doing her best to ignore the stares and murmurs.
“God, look how far she’s fallen.”
“I thought she was supposed to do something with her life, and now look at her.”
“I wonder why Jason left her. Maybe she was bad in the sack. At least, her looks didn’t fail too badly.”
“Most likely to succeed, my ass.”
“She always thought she was better than me. Look at her now.”
She adjusted the soft black mask over her eyes and brushed her fingers along the splash of gemstones near one eye. No mask could hide who she was, not when others were looking too intently for her and in need of gossip.
She’d married the golden boy and had been a rising star herself, yet here she was, divorced with a high school diploma to her name. And the sad thing was, she’d earned everything she had. Nothing had ever truly been given to her like so many others thought. She’d done her best back in high school so she could earn scholarships to be able to go to college at all. Without those, she wouldn’t have even had a chance.
Even now, she wouldn’t have the chance to get her degree and start a new life if it weren’t for financial aid and the kindness of others.
Kate blew out a breath as she served herself some punch. She wasn’t exactly thirsty, but she needed something to do with her hands. Grayson had texted to say he was on his way, and while she had wanted to come with him; apparently, Karly had planned on a few photos for the Most Likely To section. Hence why she and Anton had to arrive early for their photo.
God, she’d hated every moment of that experience. Her boss and former friend and rival hadn’t even looked at her. He’d just smiled his perfect smile and looked as if he had truly lived up to his potential while she had not. Karly had grinned the entire time, a manic gleam in her eyes.
The whole situation made Kate’s skin crawl, and she knew that no matter what else happened tonight, she’d made a decision about her own life. She would be moving. Soon. She’d take the one offer that made sense for her more than the others and pray she wouldn’t hurt her kids in the process. She could only hope she was making this decision for her family and not for the man she currently waited for.
Because she couldn’t move to Denver because of a man she might be falling too hard for much too quickly. That wouldn’t make any sense. But she could move to Denver because Colorado had the best schools for her and her children.
They could leave the small-town atmosphere. They could leave the memories that only served to hurt them rather than make them stronger.
She could leave her parents’ continuous glares and disappointed looks. They would always be her parents, but that didn’t mean she had to live a few miles from them. The move would be hard, and she still wasn’t sure it was the right thing, but standing in that auditorium with the past looking right at her, she knew she had to do something. Living for the sake of living hadn’t done much for her. Now, she needed to thrive.
And Denver would hopefully help her do that.
The fact that Grayson also lived there complicated things slightly, but it wasn’t everything. Denver was a large city, after all. Maybe after tonight, he’d leave and never look back. That didn’t mean she’d have to see him and deal with those memories once she moved.
Of course, all of that was a lie since she knew she’d forever think about Grayson and how he made her feel.
Cherished.
Cared for.
Everything.
How had this man come to mean so much to her in a mere week? Sure she’d known him before, so they had a foundation to form a relationship on, but still, everything was moving far too fast for her, and she needed to breathe.
Only standing near the dance floor as happy couples gossiped about their past days wasn’t making breathing any easier.
Rae walked up to her at that moment, her dress swishing around her hips as she hurried. “I saw you over here staring at your punch and thought I’d make sure you were okay.”
Kate smiled softly. “As okay as I’ll ever be. Is Tessa here yet?” She looked around the room, trying to spot people she knew, but it was hard with everyone in gowns and tuxes, masks covering their faces. It would be difficult enough recognizing some people after a decade without seeing them, but the whole masquerade thing made it pointless. Sure, people recognized her since she’d just done those damn photos, but Karly, their reunion planner and the thorn in Kate’s side, had wanted the dance to be mysterious and sexy. So masks, no nametags, and dark lighting.
What a mess.
She supposed if she’d done any of the week’s prior activities, it might have been easier, but unlike some people, she had a job that required her to be there on time every day. Add in her children—and she supposed Grayson—and, well…going to a Brisket BBQ didn’t really sound like something she’d wanted to do anyway.
“I don’t think Tessa is here,” Rae said softly. “Or if she is, she’s hiding under a disguise, and I can’t find her.”
Kate adjusted her own mask, sighing. “While I would love the masks to at least give me some anonymity, Karly made sure that wouldn’t happen. Now, people know who I am, and I can’t for the life of me tell who anyone else is.”
Rae patted her arm. “It’ll all be over soon.” She looked around Kate. “I thought Grayson was going to come with you.”
Kate bit her lip. “He was supposed to, but then Karly changed up the timing of things.”
“Darn that woman,” Rae said with a mock scowl. Kate wasn’t sure Rae could actually scowl she was just too nice.
“I have harsher words for her, but, yeah, pretty much.” The two of them talked a bit more, both having come without dates and not in the mood to deal with other people. She honestly didn’t know what she’d do without her best friend when she moved to Denver, but Kate had a feeling that somehow they’d all make it work.
Rae was saying something else when the hairs on the back of Kate’s neck stood on end, and she turned, knowing whom she would see behind her. Grayson stood a few feet away, his hair tussled perfectly and his beard sexy as all get out with the plain black mask he wore. He had on a suit, not a tux, and it made him look that much sexier because he stood out and yet looked right at home. His broad shoulders filled out his jacket nicely, and he had on a thin black tie that melded seamlessly with the rest of the suit. Kate wanted to run and jump into his arms before kissing him until they were both breathless.
And if it weren’t for the fact that she’d worn thin heels under her long, pale green dress, she might have done just that and given the rest of the room something to talk about other than her past.
“I’ll be right back,” Kate mumbled to Rae, but she knew Rae wasn’t listening. The man on stage singing a song that spoke to only one person in the room beckoned Rae, and Kate had a feeling she wouldn’t be seeing her best friend for a long while.
And for now, she was okay with that.
Because she only had eyes for Grayson.
Only him.
She moved to him without thought as he moved toward her, as well. Soon they were standing face-to-face, masks over their eyes, but their gazes locked on each other. Somehow, they’d ended up in the middle of the dance floor, and people began to murmur around them, but Kate didn’t care. She was done living in the past, done paying for so-called mistakes.
“You came,” she whispered.
Grayson tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “Of course, I did. I’d have come earlier, but I needed to buy a damn mask.”
She smiled as she reached up and stroked the side of the soft black velvet. “They were selling a few at the door for people who didn’t know Karly had made it mandatory.”
Grayson rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t sure, but I have a feeling even if I had known they were selling them, they wouldn’t have given one to me. Karly’s fiancé kind of hates me.”
He slid his arm around her waist, and she put one hand in his, the other on his shoulder. “Karly’s fiancé kind of hates me, too,” she said, her eyes on the man in front of her and nowhere else.
Grayson led them into a dance, no words needed between them as to why they were dancing. She didn’t want this to be their last night, didn’t want this to end. But it would. There was no other option. She would tell him about her decision to go to Denver, of course, but not when there was magic in the air that she couldn’t quite place. She wanted tonight to be about her and him and not what could have been and what was.
She’d deal with reality tomorrow. Tonight, she would be in the arms of the one man who made her feel like she could do anything. The one man who truly believed in her and looked at her as if she were the only woman in the world.
God, she would hate it when he left.
“Karly’s fiancé is a douche,” Grayson said simply. “I’m glad I punched him when I did.”
Kate shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. “I just told West that violence isn’t the answer to things, Grayson.”
He shrugged before he twirled her around, making her truly smile. “Sometimes, yeah, that’s the truth. But other times, fists are the only answer. I’m not sorry I did it because of what he said. I am sorry if you got hurt in the process.”
She shook her head. “Jason never hit me.” Other than that one push, but she wasn’t going to mention it to Grayson right then. “He used his words to hurt.”
Grayson narrowed his eyes. “Words hurt just as much as fists do, Kate. You know that as much as I do. I’m not sorry I punched him,” he repeated. “And I’d like to say I’ve grown up enough that I wouldn’t hit him again if he hurt you, but I don’t know if I have that kind of willpower.”
She let out a sigh. “He’s my ex, Grayson.” Are you my future? “There’s no reason he has to be part of…this.”
Grayson danced her off to the side of the dance floor before cupping her face. “He’s the father of your babies, Kate. Of course, he’s going to be part of this.”
“What is this, Grayson?” she whispered. “You’re leaving tomorrow.” And I might be moving right behind you, but I’m not ready to say anything yet. She was a coward, but she needed to make sure her children were prepared before she put any ideas into his head. Hell, she needed to ensure that her children were happy with the theory itself before she got too close to Grayson period.
Only it was far too late for that, wasn’t it?
Grayson’s jaw tightened. “Maybe I don’t have to leave,” he bit out. “Maybe I can stay here for a bit longer.”
Her heart lurched. “We’re so new Grayson…” she whispered. “You can’t change your life so suddenly for something that just came about.”
“Can’t I?” he asked angrily. “It’s my decision, Kate. If I want to take a chance on something I know I’ll regret walking away from, then I just might.”
“But this town holds so many bad memories for you.” For me, as well.
He kissed her hard, right in front of everyone. They’d been whispering, but they were still attracting attention. “This town has you, Kate. That’s more than enough for me to think about staying for longer than a weekend.”
She looked around and winced. “Can we go somewhere more private?” she whispered.
He kissed her temple and nodded. “Yeah, I didn’t mean to start this here. Sorry.” He pulled her away from prying eyes. They ended up outside the main hall near the front entrance, the bright overhead lights harsh after the darkened auditorium. He let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair, ripping off his mask in the process. “Shit, I hate this thing.”
Kate took hers off, as well, thankful she could feel her face again. “You looked sexy with it on, though,” she said softly.
His eyes darkened, and he brushed his finger along her jawline. “I don’t want this to end, Kate. I didn’t come here to find you. Hell, I didn’t come here to find anything at all. And yet…yet you’re here, and I don’t want to go. How are we going to make this work, Kate? Because there’s something between us, and I don’t want to let go.”
She pressed her lips together, her mind going in a thousand different directions. She didn’t know what she could say to make this better, so she said the only thing she could. “I don’t want this to end either, but I don’t know how it can work. It’s all moving so fast, Grayson.”
He cupped her face and leaned forward, his body warm against hers. “If it means something, then how fast it happens doesn’t matter. I don’t want to lose you, Kate. I just found you.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she knew she needed to tell him about the offer from Denver. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to fill him in, only to be interrupted by the last four people she wanted to see.
“Slumming again, Kate?” Jason sneered from her side. “I suppose I can’t be too surprised since you’re just the same whore you were in high school, sleeping with me to get into places, yet not good enough to do anything about it.”
Heat singed her cheeks, and she turned toward the man she’d thought she loved. She knew better now, though. She’d never loved him, and he’d never loved her. She’d loved the idea of being cared for, of being truly loved. But it had all been for show in the end. Grayson had cherished her more in these few short days than Jason had done in all of his time with her. God, she’d been so stupid.
No, not stupid.
Just far too young to make the right decisions.
But she wasn’t eighteen anymore, and this man wasn’t her husband.
“I’m not in the mood to deal with you, Jason,” she said as she turned fully toward the group. Karly stood at Jason’s side while Anton was on his other side, his so-perfect wife on his arm, as well, silent and vacant-eyed as usual.
“You weren’t in the mood for much, were you?” her ex-husband retorted. “I know why you lay on your back like a cold bitch for me, but why are you doing it for Cleary over here? He’s not going to get you anything but an STD.”
“Jesus Christ,” Grayson growled from her side. “You’re a pathetic loser who can’t stand anyone not doing what you want, so you’re going to say those things to your ex-wife? For fuck’s sake, man, grow the fuck up.”
Jason narrowed his eyes, and Kate instinctively went to grip Grayson’s hand, afraid of what would come next. Jason’s eyes caught the movement, and he glowered.
“I should have had you expelled when I had the chance, Cleary. But it’s not like you mean anything to me now. You’re still a fucking loser who couldn’t finish a damn thing before and has nothing now. Nothing but a whore for a mother, a drunk of a father, and now, a slut for the weekend. I bet Kate couldn’t wait to spread her legs for you. Hell, I bet her panties dropped long before now.” He turned to Kate. “Were you fucking Cleary when you were with me? Hell, no wonder West looks more like you than me and the little shit isn’t as talented as the rest of my family. I bet the kid is Cleary’s and not mine.” His eyes brightened. “And if I whisper in the right ear, I know I’ll find a way out of the obscene amount of child support I have to pay for the two brats that do nothing but waste my time.”
Kate hadn’t known she was going to do it until she felt the pain shoot through her arm and down her spine. Her fist had connected with Jason’s nose perfectly, the crunch beneath her knuckles sickening. She had to thank her high heels since, without them, she wouldn’t have been able to reach his perfectly plastic nose at the right angle.
“Bitch!” Jason gurgled as the others surrounded him to take care of him. Grayson gripped her free hand and held her close, protecting her in case anyone retaliated.
“Maybe I am, Jason, but I’m still a goddamn mother.” Tears stung, but she was far too angry to care if they fell down her cheeks. Fuck those who thought emotions were a weakness. Fuck them all. “Those are our babies you’re talking about. Jesus Christ. How much of an idiot was I to marry you, let alone have two children with you? I knew you hated me and never loved me, but I thought you had some semblance of decent paternal thought for your babies.” She rolled her shoulders back. “I have full custody of my children, Jason, and I’ll be damned if I let you hurt them.”
“You don’t have enough money to pay for lawyers to fight us in court,” Karly spat.
“Watch your weave, little girl,” Kate growled right back. “The bleach job is damaging your brain. Those are my kids. You come near them, I’ll gut you.” Grayson stood by her side, ready to fight with his fists—and she bet his words, as well—if she needed him. The fact that he’d not only stood up for her but also stood by and let her fight for herself spoke volumes.
But it was too much all at once, and she couldn’t breathe.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered. “We aren’t in high school anymore for Christ’s sake. We’re fucking adults, and I just punched a man. I just…I can’t do this.”
And with that, she turned on her heels and ran out of the building, letting her mask fall at her feet as she did. The others might have watched her go, but she didn’t know. She just knew she couldn’t stand there anymore and listen to Jason spout his hurtful words, and Karly be her usual bitchy self. She couldn’t let Anton judge her anymore, and she couldn’t let herself get hurt over and over again by people who shouldn’t mean more to her than a past memory.
But she’d also left Grayson behind with them, not knowing what else to do. He’d seen her at her worst, heard the accusations thrown at them by her ex, and she wasn’t sure she could face him.
Why would he want her when she was such a screwup? She had more baggage than she thought possible for her age, and she knew the only thing she could do to protect her children and the man she cared about was to get away and make sure her babies were safe.
She was too much for Grayson Cleary.
Too much for herself.
And maybe, one day, the pain of having had something so precious for such a short amount of time wouldn’t hurt as much as it did in that moment.
Maybe, one day…but tonight, tonight she would let the pain in. Because if she had the agony flowing through her veins, she could at least feel something.
And that was more than she’d had for ten years.
Torture and all.