Chapter 20
“My past is a little checkered.” - Kid Rock
Bryce
October 16th
Fuck me for trying to wrap my head around this and not be the total dick I wanted to be. When Mandy showed up yesterday afternoon, big round belly and a black eye to boot, my first thought was to send her on her way and remind her of just how many dudes she’d hooked up with over the past year. At least that’s what the rumor mill had said. Hell, I’d seen her with different guys at the few parties I’d gone to before they’d gotten really lame. They weren’t the same as the D.C. parties I’d been used to, but the point was, yeah, she’d gotten around.
Randy Sheldon, Marcus Dean, Sami Lee. I’m sure there were others. But the truth was, if there was a miniscule chance—and there was—that I was the father, I wasn’t raised to point fingers elsewhere until I knew the absolute truth. And I would know the truth. I’d made that perfectly clear to Mandy.
“Well, well, well, Bryce. Nice little set-up you’ve got going here,” she said, rubbing her rounded belly with her right hand, looking around my cottage. “I think we can both be comfortable here for now.”
“First things first, Mandy,” I said. “We’re gonna talk. I’ve got questions. I need answers.”
“Sure thing, sugar,” she replied, flopping down on the couch in the living room. “Ask away. I’ve got nothing to hide. Well, except for my feet which are getting harder and harder to see from up here. But no worries. You’ve got a New Year’s present coming Bryce. The Santa Stork is bringing us a baby after the first of the year! Cheers!”
And for the next hour I grilled her with questions that anybody in my predicament would have. It wasn’t pretty.
“How do I know the baby is mine?”
“Why did you wait so long to tell me?”
“Where did you get the black eye?”
“Why are you here?”
“What are your plans?”
“What do you expect from me?”
“Are you keeping the baby?”
“Did you tell my parents about this?”
Her answers ranged from:
“I’m not a whore Bryce; the rubber came off, remember?”
“The reason I waited was at first I considered abortion; and then I considered adoption, and now I’ve decided to keep it so it’s time I brought you into the loop. And you disappeared so it wasn’t like I saw you around town, you know?”
“My father gave me the black eye. He isn’t pleased with the situation.”
“I’m here because I’ve got nowhere else to go. Been kicked out of my house. I’m over eighteen. My parents have no legal responsibility anymore and they made that all perfectly clear.”
“My plans are to find a local OB-GYN. I’ve got a medical card and I get food stamps, so I can help out, you know, until the baby’s born? After that I’ll get a job. You’ll pay child support, and I’ll get out of your hair…I mean, if that’s what you want. At the minimum, I expect you to take financial responsibility, do your part. And no, I didn’t tell your parents anything. But don’t you think they’ll want to know they’re about to be grandparents? I thought you’d like to deliver the good news yourself.”
And then I’d made myself perfectly clear to Mandy. I explained I would expect a paternity test to be conducted once the baby arrived. I told her that there would be no cohabitation while she was staying with me, and that I’d have to clear it through my boss to see if she was even permitted to stay here. She hadn’t liked that part at all. I also told her that once paternity was established, I’d take responsibility if I was the father, but she’d have to find her own place because there was no relationship between her and me, and there never would be. I loved someone else. That had really pissed her off, but I was honest.
I told her she could take the bedroom and I’d take the couch. She asked if I’d go to the parking lot and get her suitcase, which I’d done. She hadn’t brought much which was good because there was just the one closet. I’d been surprised her car had made the trip. It was a pretty beat up old model Chevy Cavalier. I made a mental note to call home tomorrow and let them know I’d be making a trip up to pick up my truck. Reliable transportation was now a necessity not a luxury.
My exchange with Avery from this morning had not turned out the way I had hoped. Sure, I knew she’d be freaked out about this, the same way I was, but she treated me as if she hated my guts…like what we had together had suddenly vanished. She wasn’t going to give me the time of day. And from the long list of extra chores I was given, I could damn well see that she had some pent-up anger. I wanted to explain things to her. I wanted to tell her I loved her for the first time. But she wasn’t having any of it. She had closed herself off from me. She’d shut down and I wasn’t sure how long that would last. Maybe forever.
I was totally not prepared to see that side of Avery. She seemed cold and hard, with a steely edge to her I’d never have imagined.
I was rubbing liniment on one of the horses, deep in thought when I heard footsteps approaching. One part of me hoped it was Avery. Maybe she’d finally had time to process this shit and be reasonable about it. I turned to greet her only to see it wasn’t her.
“I guess you’re here to rip into me too, Hannah. Go for it,” I said, shaking my head and turning back to the task at hand.
“First of all, I’m not Hannah. I’m Sarah. Her twin? We haven’t met. I won’t let first impressions cloud my opinion, Bryce.”
I whirled back around and straightened up. Damn if she didn’t look like a mirror image of Hannah. Put them next to one another, I couldn’t have picked one from the other. She saw my head to toe assessment and laughed, “Yeah, it’s an identical twin thing, Bryce.”
I wiped my right hand on the side of my jeans and held it out to her. “First impressions have never been my thing, Sarah, but toss a twin into the mix and I can damn well guarantee you I’ll totally screw it up.”
She took my hand, shaking it, and didn’t bother to hold back a laugh. “Understood and forgiven,” she said, “You got a couple of minutes to chat?”
“Sure thing,” I replied, walking over towards a stack of hay bales and extending my arm towards it, “Take a seat, Sarah. This is the best I can offer at the moment.”
She smiled and sat down, patting the space next to her for me to join her. “I don’t bite, Bryce. That’s where Hannah and I differ. And I know you’re on the clock, so I won’t stay long.”
I plopped down next to her.
“I go to school out of state, and rarely get back. I did want to take this opportunity to meet you. Hannah goes on about you and well…I’m pretty sure that Avery thinks you’re special–”
“Not anymore,” I interrupted her. “All that has changed.”
“No, no it hasn’t Bryce. But I understand why you might think so, but it isn’t true. Avery is simply trying to protect herself from getting hurt, but it’s too late. It’s not going to work.”
“And you know this how?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“It’s a girl thing, silly,” she said. “Plus, I’ve known Avery all of my life. Even though I’m not around her as much since I started college, it does give me the advantage of being a bit more objective. So, while my sister pretty much wants to string you up by your…well, you know,” she finished without saying balls, but I got the picture, “I think I can give you some constructive advice here. That is, if you want it.”
I ran a hand through my hair, and turned to her. She seemed sincere. Way different disposition than her twin, that was obvious. “I’ll tell you, Sarah, I don’t pretend to understand chicks, and up to this point, that fact never bothered me. Avery’s different. I don’t want to think we’re over, but the situation I find myself in doesn’t give me a lot of hope. At least not in the short term. And as time goes by, I think she’ll probably move on and find someone else. Someone better. She deserves better than me.”
“Okay,” she interrupted, “While I think it’s noble how you’re doing the whole ‘falling on your sword thing,’ it’s not necessary. I think Avery is a good catch, no doubt about it, but she seems to think you are too, believe me. She wouldn’t have wasted her time or put her heart out there to you like she has if she didn’t. So, here’s what you need to do. You need to give her some time. Let her process the situation. See, I get that right now you’re in a no-win situation. If you turn your back on this…”
“Mandy,” I supplied.
“Mandy,” she continued, “Avery would think you’re a shit. If the baby is yours, and you don’t step up to the plate to claim responsibility and help in whatever way you can after it’s born, Avery will think you’re an even bigger shit. Worst case scenario is you need time for all concerned. The situation isn’t insurmountable if you two really do love each other.”
“I love her,” I admitted, “But she’s never said she loved me. I’m not sure—”
“Have you told her you loved her?” she interrupted.
“Well no. I was waiting for her.”
“Bryce,” she replied with an eye roll, “Lesson one–the guy always says it first. That’s just how it’s done.”
“Hey, this is a first for me, Sarah. I already told you I’m not good with this stuff. I would’ve gotten around to it eventually, but as you already know, there’s been an interruption in our relationship. I’m trying to do the right thing. Mandy was a one-night stand. We were never together,” I explained.
“What does Mandy want from you?”
“I’m not sure. She says she wants me to take responsibility for the kid—which I am willing to do once paternity is established. But I gotta be honest here, I can’t figure out why the hell she waited so long to spring this on me. It doesn’t make sense.”
It was quiet for a moment. “Maybe time will give you all the answers, Bryce. In the meantime, don’t try to explain and defend yourself to Avery. Be professional. Do your job and give her some space to figure things out for herself. She’s hurting. She is trying to act as if she’s moving on. I guarantee you that is not Avery’s style. Hang in there.”
Sarah stood up, brushing some pieces of straw from her backside. “Good luck, Bryce.”
“Thanks,” I said, standing up and stretching my arms, “I appreciate your reaching out and especially your advice. Take care.”
I got back to work, but her words played over in my head. I hoped to hell she was right. In the meantime, I needed to make a trip home. I needed to get my truck. And I needed to let my parents in on what was going on in my life.