I shut the door to Jack’s sports car and rushed into the lobby of my building, waiting for the elevator to open before I hurried inside and pushed the button to my floor. Once the door slid shut, I leaned my back against the wall and tried to find my breath.

Inhaling through my nose and exhaling out of my mouth wasn’t easy.

My chest hurt. My throat tingled.

My heart was pounding out of control.

And it was all because the last few hours wouldn’t stop running through my head.

My brain was trying to reconcile it—the dinner, the conversation.

“I want you back.”

Jack’s touch.

It wasn’t just a simple swish of his fingers, a gentle clenching of my muscles and skin.

Nothing about Jack’s hands was simple.

Because his touch wasn’t just physical. It triggered emotions; it induced memories. Ones that made me smile, ones that made me want to cry.

Having him back created a whole new set of challenges that was almost as scary as not having him here at all.

As I’d sat in his car, silence building between us, my hand on the seat belt and the other on the door, I’d wanted so badly to tell him what was on my mind. To say the words, so they’d stop eating at me.

But something stronger had consumed me, and that was the need to have his fingers on me again, to have his lips on mine without pushing them away.

And, now, I was hit with the aftermath, a whole new set of feelings.

Ones that were filling my eyes.

Ones that I wasn’t even close to processing yet.

But I couldn’t stay in here to do that, not with the elevator door sliding open to my floor.

So, I walked to my condo and put my key in the lock. Once I got inside, I immediately saw Anna in the living room, cuddled on the couch with a blanket over her.

The TV was on.

The scent of chocolate chip cookies was in the air, which I knew she’d made from scratch. They were Lucy’s favorite, and Anna would do anything for her.

“How’d it go?” she asked.

I kicked off my heels and left them by the door.

“What’s the face for?” She lifted the blanket, signaling me to come over and join her. “Are you crying?”

I hurried to the couch and snuggled into her side.

“Samantha, talk to me; you’re starting to freak me out.”

I used the blanket to wipe my cheeks. “I’m just having a minute.”

She turned off the TV. “You’re allowed to have as many as you want, but you can’t keep them a secret. Tell me what’s going on in that little head of yours.”

“Jack…obviously.”

“Did something happen?”

I exhaled, the heaviness still very present in my chest. “He told me he wants me, and he apologized for the way he ended things. Then, we sorta hooked up in his car.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

I sat up a little straighter, so I could look at her while I said, “Isn’t it? I don’t know. I’ve never been this confused in my life.” I touched my chest, trying to ease it. “No, I take that back. I was this confused when Jack cut me off eight years ago.” I leaned across the couch to the end table where I grabbed a tissue out of the box. “It’s like he has a rope around me, and whenever he pulls, I turn into this crazy lunatic.”

“I wouldn’t call you crazy or a lunatic. I would say Jack’s the man you’re supposed to be with. He’s your person, Samantha. And you’re feeling this way because you care about him so much.”

I gave her a side-eye.

“What? He is.”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you really going to tell me you don’t have feelings for him?”

I could still feel his hands on my body. My heart still hammered away at the thought of him, at the way his lips had pressed against mine. At the sound of him telling me he wanted me.

“No, I can’t say that.”

“I didn’t think so.”

“Even when I dated other men, I think Jack was always in the back of my mind.”

“Girl, you’re not telling me anything I don’t already know.” She adjusted the blanket, so it covered more of me. “Where do things stand now?”

I balled the tissue in my hand and wiped the last drips from my eyes. “He wants to have dinner when he gets home from Nashville.”

“Ah, what the hell is he doing there?”

“He’s meeting with Shawn about work stuff, but he’s also going to talk to Shawn about dating me.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

I shook my head.

Anna got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a plate of cookies and setting them on the ottoman in front of us. She took two, handing me one and keeping the other for herself. “This is huge. You realize that, don’t you?”

My stomach couldn’t handle the idea of more food, so I put it back. “It brings things to a different level.”

“And you’re scared to death.”

I wrapped my arms over the blanket. “I don’t love the idea of Shawn and Jack talking about me, so that’s one part of it. The other part is that I don’t even know if I can trust Jack. What if I give him everything, and he leaves me again? I don’t think I can handle going through that a second time.” I tried to still the quivering that was happening inside my chest. “I want things to move slowly, and it feels like we’re in fast-forward.”

“Listen to me.” As she shoved the rest of the cookie in her mouth, she pulled my hand into her lap and eventually surrounded it with both of hers. “This isn’t something you can control. You just have to follow your gut and keep an open mind, and everything will fall into place.”

“And stay guarded.”

She squeezed my fingers. “And don’t be guarded. If you face him with a shield, how do you expect him to find your heart?”

“You’re too much right now, you hopeless romantic.”

“Samantha”—her voice softened—“you’re getting everything you ever wanted. Jack doesn’t seem like the same man he once was. He sounds like he’s grown into someone really amazing. Just take things one day at a time. If you do that, you’ll be fine.”

“God, this is so messy.”

“It’s really not.” She rolled her eyes as though I were being the dramatic one. “It’s just been two years since you’ve been with a man, so you’re a little out of the game. I won’t judge you for it.”

“Anna, we both know my situation isn’t typical.” I tried to take a breath; the tightness was strangling me again. “That means nothing about a relationship with Jack will be typical.”

“Ah, you mean the Lucy section of the equation. Do you think—”

I shook my head and cut her off with, “We’re not talking about it.”

“Samantha—”

“I can’t go there yet.”

I stood from the couch, dropping my tissue on the ottoman, and I moved toward the hallway.

“Where are you going?”

“To kiss Lucy good night. I’ll be back in a minute.”

I needed a break.

I needed silence.

I needed to keep that door closed for as long as I could.

Discussing it with Anna would only get me more worked up, and that was the last thing I needed right now.

I quietly tiptoed into Lucy’s room and climbed onto her bed, lying in the small space next to her. With her back to me, I pressed my nose into her hair and inhaled the scent that was so unique to her.

My baby girl.

Every decision I made affected her, including whatever happened with Jack.

I closed my eyes and took a breath, trying to fight through these feelings. When I opened them again, I put my lips against Lucy’s head. I felt the tears well up. I felt the tightening, the confusion, the worry, and the fear.

And then I whispered, “Oh God, baby. What have I done?”

* * *