The next morning dawned bright and beautiful, the way they always did. Seeing the sun and feeling the heat on her face energized Heather. And she needed the energy after a restless night. It was as if her mother had invaded her thoughts and her dreams.

Thank goodness for Ash being at Casa del Sol, because even if he was right about her mother wanting to fix things between them, the idea of trying to bridge that gap was overwhelming for Heather. Besides that, her mother didn’t indicate in any way that that might be the reason she was in Panama. She’d spent the evening complaining about how long the fight was, how muggy the air was, how hot the sun was, how crazy Bocas Town was, and how just in general, everything since she’d left home was terrible. Heather had to bite her tongue multiple times to keep from asking why she bothered to come if things were so awful.

But she didn’t.

Because if Ash was right and underneath all the complaining and the tough exterior, her mother was trying to be vulnerable and open herself up to mending fences, she didn’t want to slam the door before it was opened. Despite everything that had happened with her mom over the years and even the years before she’d left when Heather had felt trapped and smothered, she still loved her. And she was the only family Heather had.

She may not agree with her parenting style, but she didn’t have to. She was her mom. Underneath it all, Heather was just a little girl who knew her mother loved her and wanted the best for her. That’s why she’d made the choices she’d made.

Right or wrong.

Regardless, it would be way easier to try to bridge any gap if her mother had a better attitude. She’d suffered through the rest of the evening without saying anything she’d regret and when finally she suggested to her mom that they get a good night’s sleep and regroup in the morning, Heather almost cried with joy when her mom agreed.

After guiding her mom back to her bungalow, she’d been hoping to have a chance to talk with Ash and maybe even finish what they’d started before her mother’s interruption. It seemed like a million years ago that she’d been stranded in the mangroves. It had only been a few hours, but it might as well have been a lifetime ago because with her mother’s arrival, Heather was taken right back to those same feelings of when she’d been a teenager, trapped in her mom’s grip.

Only this time it was different because she’d had a taste of freedom. More than a taste…she’d had a life.

And it may not have been the life she’d dreamt of, but it was a start and she was finally ready for more.

And that’s exactly what she was going to tell Ash.

Except when she returned, he was gone. It was probably for the best. It had been a long day and the conversation she wanted to have with him deserved a fresh start.

Which was exactly what she was hoping for that morning when she made her way down to grande casa. Camila was already there, cooking up something that smelled delicious. The coffee was on, and the sun was shining. It was the perfect day in paradise, and hope and happiness swelled inside her.

Heather took her coffee out to the dock and had just sat in one of the deck chairs when she heard the creak of the wooden boards behind her.

So much for a moment of solitude.

“Good morning, Heather.”

“Mom. You’re up early.” Her mother was dressed surprisingly casual in khaki shorts, a light pink blouse untucked, and a gigantic straw hat that was almost comical in size. She stood and gestured to the chair next to her. “Do you want some coffee?”

To Heather’s surprise, her mom nodded agreeably and sat next to her. Heather called to Camila and through a series of hand gestures, conveyed the message that she needed another cup.

“Did you sleep okay?” she asked as she sat back down.

“I did, thank you.”

They were being exceedingly polite with each other but at least no one was upset. Still, it couldn’t go on forever. When Camila brought out another mug of coffee and a tray of fresh papaya with a wedge of lime to squeeze over the fruit, they were given a reprieve from the small talk.

“This is delicious.” Juices ran down her mom’s chin as she spoke and picked up more fruit.

Heather nodded and took her own piece. “Everything tastes better in the tropics. Sweeter. Juicier. It makes it hard to believe that it’s the same fruit we get back home in the grocery store.”

Her mom paused and stared at her. “Do you still consider Idaho home?” There was hope in her question, and for a moment, Heather considered lying to her. But after a second, she shook her head.

“No. Not really.”

“Heather.” The disapproval was back in her mom’s face, her lips pressed into a hard line. “You know you always have a home there. You didn’t have to run away. And you certainly didn’t have to stay away. You made the wrong choice with Joe,” she continued. “But you don’t have to stay away to prove a point. You don’t have to be stubborn, you know.”

She opened her mouth to reply, but closed it again.

She wasn’t going to do it. She wasn’t going to get dragged into her mother’s trap. The trap that she’d never be able to get out of. Not this time. Heather stared out to the horizon and didn’t respond.

“You don’t have to like my choices, Mom. I’m okay with that.”

Her mother cleared her throat and continued as if she hadn’t heard her speak. “Now that Joe’s out of the picture, why don’t you come home with me?”

“Mom, I—”

“Even for a little bit. Just so you can—”

“Mom. I’m—”

“Don’t say no. Just think—”

“Good morning, ladies.”

Heather jumped up from her chair at the sound of Ash’s voice saving her from what was quickly becoming a no-win situation. “Ash. Hi.” She wanted to ask him where he’d disappeared to the night before. She wanted to kiss him and thank him for showing up at that exact moment. She wanted to do a lot of things. But just like when she was a child, her mother’s presence held her back. She stopped a few feet away from him and tucked her hands in her back pocket. “Did you have a good night?”

He gave her a curious look but smiled. “I did.” He turned his charm to her mother. “And Val, I trust you enjoyed your first night in paradise?”

Heather rolled her eyes when her mom giggled like a little girl. “I did. The bed was surprisingly comfortable and the water…”

“The sound of the waves is pretty soothing, isn’t it?”

“It really is.”

“You can see why Heather likes it here so much.”

Just as quickly as the smile appeared on her mother’s face, it was gone. “I don’t see that,” she said. “In fact, now that I’m here, I can see even more that Heather should come home where it’s safe. This place is…it’s savage. Do you know what I saw in that town?”

Heather actually had a pretty good idea of what she’d seen. Bocas Town wasn’t for the faint of heart and it certainly wasn’t any kind of place her mother should have been.

“There were drugs,” her mom continued. “And half-naked people and—”

“I’m sure I know what you saw, Mom.”

Her mother hopped out of her chair and glared at her as if she were twelve again. “You knew what I would see there and you still suggested I come here?”

Whoa. No. She hadn’t….she had. She had said the words, but she didn’t mean them. Not really.

“I said you had to see this place to believe it, Mom. I didn’t say anything about Bocas. And I certainly didn’t mean that you should actually get on a plane and come here.”

“Then why did you say it?”

“It was something to say.” She could feel the anger and frustration rise inside her. She was starting to yell. She didn’t want to yell, but she didn’t know what else to do. If she didn’t yell, she might just end up in tears and that would only give her mother more fuel. “I didn’t want you to come.”

The words landed as if Heather had reached out and slapped her across the face. She took a stumbling step backward.

Instinctively, Heather stepped forward, wanting to reach out, but her mother’s next words stopped her. “You’ve always been so hateful toward me.”

“What?”

“You have,” she insisted. “All I’ve ever done is try to protect you and love you and—”

“Smother me.” All the emotions bubbled up inside her. She couldn’t have stopped herself if she’d tried. “You tried to trap me, Mom. You kept me from living. Sometimes I think it would have been easier to have just died, like Dad did.”

She realized an instant too late that she’d gone too far but she couldn’t find the words to fix what had just come out of her mouth.

It was Ash who spoke. She’d forgotten he was standing there until he felt his arm on hers. “Heather, Sherri needs to speak with you. Go up and visit with her, please. I’m going to take your mom on a little boat ride.”

Heather only half heard what he said. She stared at her mother, who suddenly looked frail and small, standing on the dock with her huge hat flopping over her face.

“Heather?”

She turned blindly to Ash. When his face came into focus, she nodded.

“Can you do that for me? Go see Sherri?”

She nodded again.

“Go,” he whispered. “I’ve got this.”

She looked at her mom one more time. Regret filled her but she still couldn’t find the words. So she turned and walked away.

* * *

Ash certainly didn’t have any idea what he was going to do with Val or what exactly he was going to show her, but he needed to do something because watching a mother and daughter relationship self-destruct in front of his eyes was not an option.

It already may have been too late, but he needed to do something. He cared too much about Heather to sit back and let her ruin something that could still possibly be fixed. If there was even the slightest hint that it could be saved, he was going to try.

Even if it meant sending Heather up the hill before he’d had a chance to tell her the truth about Sherri. It wasn’t an ideal situation, and Heather was going to be mad.

Oh yeah, she was going to be mad all right. But she’d forgive him. She’d understand.

She had to.

“Val?” He crossed the distance between them and reached out to touch her. She jumped back as if he’d startled her. “Are you okay?”

She didn’t answer right away, but after a moment, she nodded.

“Why don’t we spend a little time together today? I thought it might be nice to show you the island a bit, and then maybe you can see the beautiful side of Bocas, because it is so beautiful.”

She nodded again. “I’d like that.”

He gave her his most charming smile and led her back into grande casa. Before they went anywhere, they were going to have some of Camila’s delicious frittata. Because Ash was pretty sure that what he was about to undertake was going to require stamina.

Camila fed them a delicious breakfast, and even packed a small basket of snacks when Ash explained what was going on. She may have moved on with Luis—a fact that Ash was glad for—but she still clearly had a soft spot for him. He gave her a kiss on the cheek, grabbed a cooler of water and led Val back down the dock to the boat.

“I don’t much care for these little boats, Ash.” Val stopped short at the end of the dock, clearly not very excited to get in.

He hopped down, tucked the basket and cooler away and held his hand out for Val. “I know you didn’t look all that comfortable when you came over yesterday, but my boat is much better and we’ll take it slow. If you hate it, we can come back. I promise.”

She nodded and took his hand. “You do have a smooth way about you, young man. I can see why my daughter likes you.”

He grinned. “You can, can you? And what makes you think she likes me at all?”

Beyond the fact that it got Val talking about her daughter in a positive way, it was a totally self-serving question. When it came to Heather—especially when it came to Heather liking him—he was all ears.

“When it comes to men, she really doesn’t have much experience at all.” Val sat on the cushion Ash had provided for her. She was facing him at the back of the boat. It was okay for the moment, but as soon as they started moving, he wanted her to turn around so she could see everything. “Her husband took advantage of that, you know?”

“Did he?”

“He did.” Val pursed her lips together. “She was young and naive. So innocent.” She shook her head, clearly remembering a younger, more innocent Heather. “He just wanted a young, pretty girl to be his companion when he moved to a destitute third world country. He got that with her.”

“I’m sure that’s not all there was to it.”

“Oh yes. That was it. He used her.”

Ash wasn’t going to pretend to know all the details about Heather’s marriage, but he was pretty certain there was more to it than that. She must have loved the man at some point if she was willing to move to Panama with him.

“But she was a grown woman who made a choice.” Ash turned and started up the engine while they were chatting. “I mean, it’s not like she was kidnapped.”

“She might as well have been. Ash, she was just a baby when she left. She didn’t know the first thing about the world. And he was her first boyfriend. I mean, I knew it would turn out the way it did. I should have tried harder to keep her safe. To keep her at home.”

He patted the older woman’s hand. “I’m sure you did the best you could, Val.” He soothed her, because it was clear that it was the only thing to be done. “Whatever happened between Heather and her husband had nothing to do with you.” She nodded, letting herself be comforted by him. “If it’s okay with you,” he changed the subject, “I’d love to show you a few things. Do you like beaches?”

She smiled. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had my feet in the sand. I think I would like that very much.”

“Perfect, because we have some of the most beautiful beaches in Panama, right here. Let’s go.”

* * *

“Sherri?” Heather knocked on the door, lightly at first and then stronger. She wasn’t sure why she was hesitating. But something about the treehouse seemed very quiet and not quite right somehow. She hadn’t given it much thought as she’d climbed the stairs leading her away from the bungalows and her mother. All she could focus on was getting away from that woman.

She drove her crazy.

Her mother must be fully out of her mind if she’d gotten on a plane and traveled for almost eighteen hours just to fight with her. It was mind-boggling. She was crazy. She was controlling and delusional and…

She was hers.

Heather shook her head. Ash was probably right. If she’d traveled all that way, there was only one reason for it. She wanted to make amends. She wanted to fix things. After all, they were the only family the other had.

She should be more understanding. It was just so hard.

With a sigh, Heather knocked on Sherri’s door again. When there was still no answer, she tried the handle. She didn’t know what to expect when she walked into the treehouse, and Ash certainly hadn’t prepared her for anything. “Sherri? Are you here?”

“In here, dear.” The voice came from across the room. It was dim, with the shutters closed up. The air was stale and…something wasn’t right.

Heather stepped farther into the room and was finally able to make out what looked like a pile of blankets in the corner. The pile moved. “Heather. It’s so good to see you. Come closer.”

Something was not right. She crossed the room and dropped to her knees next to Sherri. “Are you sick? What’s wrong?” She scanned the older woman as best she could with the pile of blankets heaped over her. “What’s going on, Sherri?”

“He didn’t tell you.” It wasn’t a question and there was a hint of laughter in the woman’s voice.

“Who? Ash?” She shook her head. “No. He didn’t tell me anything.” Heather replayed all the conversations about Sherri they’d had. Ash told her nothing was wrong. He told her if there was a problem, he’d let her know. He’d promised her. “What’s going on?”

Sherri clucked her tongue and shook her head. “I asked him not to tell you, so don’t be mad.”

Too late. She was absolutely going to have words with Ash when she got down the hill. He’d flat-out lied to her. But one thing at a time. “Sherri?” She reached under the blankets and grabbed her friend’s hand. It was thin and boney and cold. Very cold.

“I’m sick, dear. I asked him not to tell you because I didn’t want you to worry.”

“I’m worried now.”

“I can see that.” She attempted a smile, but it didn’t have Sherri’s usual sparkle. “And that’s what I didn’t want. You had enough to worry about. After all, you were just getting your feet wet with Casa del Sol. Ash tells me you’re doing an amazing job, by the way.”

“Thank you. I—” Heather shook her head and refocused. “That’s not important right now.”

“On the contrary. It is very important. That’s why I brought you here, Heather. I needed someone with heart and soul. Someone who would care about this place as much as I did. Someone I could trust to keep the spirit of the place alive.”

“Why are you talking that way?”

“You are that person. You’re perfect for this place and I think it’s been perfect for you, too.”

“Sherri, I—”

“Am I wrong?”

Heather shook her head again. “It’s not that you’re—”

“Am I wrong?”

She couldn’t help but smile at the woman’s persistence. “No,” she said. “You’re not wrong. I love it here and you’re right. It’s been just as good for me to be here.”

Sherri nodded and closed her eyes. “I knew it would be. I knew it.” She didn’t say anything else, and she didn’t open her eyes for a few moments. Just long enough that Heather started to get a little worried. She waited and was just about to give her a little shake when Sherri’s eyes popped open again.

“I have cancer.”

She stated it so simply and without preamble that it took Heather a moment to process the words.

“Cancer?”

“Yes. I didn’t want to trouble you.”

“With your cancer?”

That may have been the craziest thing she’d ever heard. How on earth could she think she would be troubling Heather by being sick? It was ludicrous.

“Exactly. I’m not going to go through this again. I’ve been through it a million times with Ash, and I think he finally understands now.”

Would have been nice if he’d shared some of that information.

“What can I do to help?”

“Nothing.”

That answer was not going to fly. Heather shook her head. “Sherri, I want to help.”

“You are helping,” she said. “You’re taking care of Casa del Sol. That’s helping.”

“No.” Heather paced the room. “It’s not enough. I need to know what I can do. There must be something. Medicine, meals.” She scanned the room. “Heck, I can do your laundry and get you fresh blankets.”

“Heather.” Sherri waited until she’d stopped pacing. “Sit. Please.” She did as she was told and only then did Sherri start talking again. “I’m sick,” she said. “Very sick. I don’t know—”

“No.” Heather shook her head. “Don’t talk that way.”

“At my age, when you’ve been through the things I’ve been through, you’ve earned the right to talk however you want.”

Heather couldn’t help but smile at her stern tone. She did have a point. “Sorry.”

The older woman waved away her apology. “I didn’t ask to speak to you because I’m sick.”

No, of course not. Although it would have been nice if someone had given her the heads-up on Sherri’s condition. Someone like Ash. Why wouldn’t he tell the truth about Sherri? She should have known. What if Sherri had needed something and she was the only one around? What if Sherri had needed something during the storm? Hell, Heather hadn’t even known they had cell phones and were talking to each other. There was a lot Heather didn’t know, apparently, and if Sherri didn’t look so sick and frail, she’d be angry at her, too. As it was, Heather’s frustration was completely focused on Ash. They were definitely going to have words when she got back down there. For the moment, she focused on Sherri and whatever it was she needed to tell her.

“Did you want to talk to me about the business? I’ve been checking the reservations and responding to everyone,” she said. “But I think we can do it a little more efficiently by listing Casa del Sol on a few websites like Airbnb. Have you heard of that one? It’s amazing and so easy to use. Of course, we’d have to pay the site a percentage, but I think it will be worth it because of the exposure we’ll get there.” She got excited when she started talking about some of the ideas she had for Casa del Sol, and she started rattling off her other thoughts as well. “Right now we never seem to have full occupancy, and I’d like to try to change that going forward. We have rooms mostly for couples. And I think that’s great, especially for people on honeymoons or anniversary trips. But you have that big shed off to the far side, and there’s really nothing in it right now except some old boards.”

“It was going to be an artist studio.”

“Is that right?” Heather had never thought of that but now that Sherri mentioned it, a studio would be perfect, and it might even fit in with some of her expansion plans down the road. “I think that’s perfect,” she said. “But I bet we could find a better spot. Maybe even a little farther away from the bustle of the main buildings. Besides, I had a different idea for that building.”

Sherri tilted her head, looking more amused than anything else.

“What if we used that building as more of a group bunk room? Kind of a hostel style of accommodation? That way we could appeal to singles, and small groups of friends as well, and could increase the numbers.”

“I like it.”

Heather couldn’t help but beam at the approval. “I would need to help out Camila or maybe she could work a few more hours to help with cooking for a larger group. And of course, I’d need to sort out a more permanent solution for picking up guests from town.”

“What about Ash?”

What about Ash? The truth was that she’d love it if Ash would help her with guests indefinitely. She wasn’t going to pretend that it wouldn’t be a lot of fun to carry on the way they had, both of them working together to run the B&B. But she couldn’t ask that of him. Especially when she hadn’t even had a chance to tell him how she felt about him. And after she did have that chance? He’d told her he would never let himself have a relationship again and even if yesterday, she was determined to tell him that she refused to accept that, she couldn’t be sure how he would respond. She also couldn’t make assumptions about him. Maybe it was the night of sleep to think things over, maybe it was her mother being there, maybe it was finding out how sick Sherri was. Whatever it was, Heather was definitely second-guessing things.

Yesterday, she might have told Sherri all that in search of some sage advice, but things were different now. She didn’t need to burden the woman with her concerns and there was no way she was going to give her any cause for worry about her B&B. No way. As far as Sherri needed to know, Casa del Sol was in good hands with her, and Heather was perfectly capable of running it. All on her own if she needed to.

“I’m sure Ash can help out,” she said, forcing a lightness into her voice. “But I don’t want to assume that of him. I know it’s not a job for him.”

“It doesn’t need to be a job, child. Ash loves Casa del Sol. But you’re right.”

“I am?”

Sherri nodded. “It’s important not to tie Ash down. I just finished telling him that he needed to go.”

“To go?” She tried not to sound panicked, but she couldn’t help it. Why the hell would Sherri be telling Ash to go away? “Where would he go?”

“Toward his life, my dear.” She said it so naturally, as if Heather should have known exactly what she was talking about. The confusion must have shown on her face and Sherri continued. “I’m not sure how much to say, but from the time he came to me four years ago, Ash hasn’t been living. He’s been on hold.”

“On hold?” It made sense. A little bit anyway.

“He told you about his past.”

Heather nodded.

“I’m glad he did. He’s starting to open up again. I could see it from that very first night when you arrived on my dock. You bring him to life.”

“So why would you tell him to go? I don’t understand.”

Sherri smiled and took Heather’s hand. It looked as if the action drained her energy. “I don’t know how to express this properly. I’m sorry if it’s not making much sense.” The corners of her eyes crinkled with a smile. “I’m afraid I confused Ash with my ramblings, too. Don’t worry about a thing, child. You just keep doing what you’ve been doing and be true to your heart. But I get the feeling I don’t need to tell you that.”

“Oh no?”

Sherri squeezed her hand. “I see the change in you, too. You’re finally living with your heart. If you keep doing that, you’ll be okay.”

Heather felt tears prick at the backs of her eyelids. “I feel like you’re trying to say good-bye, Sherri. And I can’t let you do that.”

The older woman’s laugh startled her. “Don’t be so morbid,” she said when she was able to get herself under control. “I’m sick. I’m not dying. It’ll take a lot more than a little bit of cancer to take me out.”

It was a relief to hear it, especially with the vehemence with which it was delivered. “You know what?” Heather laughed and shook her head. “I absolutely believe that. And I’m very glad to hear it. But why is it you wanted to talk to me? Why now? Was it because of my mother?”

Sherri looked surprised. “Your mother? No, but I think that’s a story I might like to hear.”

“No.”

“Some other day.”

Heather was thankful that Sherri knew when not to push her. She was a wise woman.

“I asked to see you because I wanted a chance to impart some of my wisdom on you. When you get to be my age, it’s one of the few joys in life. Giving advice that may not be wanted.”

Heather laughed again. “Oh, it’s always appreciated, Sherri. Thank you.”

She smiled and clucked her tongue. “You’re a sweet girl. I also wanted you to know how much I love Ash. He’s like a son to me.” Heather nodded. She knew that. “He’s afraid to love you, and I can see the same fear in you.”

“Sherri, I—”

“No. This isn’t up for debate. I just wanted to tell you that as much as I love Ash, I love you, too.”

It was sweet and totally unexpected. “You don’t know me like you know Ash.”

“I don’t need to. I love you both and my wish for both of you is to find it within yourselves to explore your greatest love. Does that make sense?”

“Not even a little bit.”

“It will.”

“I can’t imagine how.”

“I’m not getting involved any further than I already have. And I fear I’ve already gotten a little too involved. I don’t like to meddle.”

Heather’s mind was spinning, trying to keep up. “I’m not sure I understand.”

That was an understatement. Heather was absolutely certain she didn’t understand. Sherri wasn’t making any sense at all.

“Oh my dear. You will.” She patted Heather’s hand and smiled. “Now, how about a cup of tea?”

Heather spent another hour with Sherri, but they didn’t talk anymore about her and Ash, a fact she was thankful for because she had no idea what she might say. It was hard to think that it had been less than twenty-four hours ago that she’d been so sure about her feelings both for her future self and for Ash and now there just seemed to be more questions than there were answers.

“I wish you would have told me you were sick, Sherri.” They sat on the porch, in the shade of the trees, looking out toward the ocean below. Heather had fixed them both a cup of tea and had settled the other woman into her chair, with a blanket tucked around her legs despite the warm temperatures. “I don’t like that you’re up here all on your own. You should be down at grande casa, surrounded by people.”

“Do you really think people like to be reminded of their own mortality when they’re on vacation, child? My cancer would have been bad for business. Very bad.” Sherri sipped at her tea. “And I don’t want to be any bother. Besides, I like it up here. It’s my special place up here in the trees.”

Heather couldn’t even begin to understand, but she also knew enough about Sherri to know that it wasn’t her place to understand anything.

“I am glad you know now,” Sherri said. “But not because I want you to worry. I would hate it if you spent even one second of your energy on that type of negativity. Your energy should be focused on love and all things good.”

“I’m not twelve.”

Sherri laughed. “No, child. You’re not. But you’re a young woman with your life ahead of you and that’s reason enough to focus on the positive. Besides, nothing good ever came from dwelling in the dark, has it?”

Heather couldn’t disagree with that.

“Besides, it sounds like I’ll soon have an entire team of people to do the worrying for me,” Sherri told her. “Ash talked me into letting him help me, whatever that means. I assume he already has plans in motion and my relative peace and quiet will be coming to an end soon enough. So I should enjoy it while I can. Has he started assembling his army yet?”

Army? Heather tried not to look confused. Was she supposed to know about all of this, too? Ash hadn’t mentioned anything. Not that there had been any time. “Not that I know of.” She tried to sound reassuring. “But if he told you he would be, I’m sure he’s busy working on it now.” It wasn’t a total lie. If he was done with her mother, and he likely was—no one could last that long with the woman without going totally batty—then he was probably sorting out whatever arrangements he’d promised Sherri. “In fact, maybe I should go see if he needs any help.”

She wasn’t looking forward to seeing her mom, but she also knew it couldn’t be put off forever. Especially considering they had new guests arriving the next morning. For better or worse, Heather needed to figure out what to do with her mother and with any luck, she’d be able to find a moment or two to be alone with Ash. The more time that passed without her saying anything about her feelings was just going to make it harder. Besides, even if she didn’t understand it all, there was a good chance that Sherri was onto something when she’d been talking about love and light and life and whatever else she’d been saying. And one thing Heather knew for sure was that it was long past time that she said something. Not one more night would go by before she told Ash exactly what she felt. No matter what the results were.

* * *

“Well, what do you think? Is it the nicest beach you’ve ever seen?”

Ash promised Val the beach he was taking her to would be nicer than any beach she’d ever seen in her whole life. Once he discovered that she’d never been to a beach, he knew it would be an easy promise to keep.

“It’s pretty nice.”

“Pretty nice? It’s amazing.”

She looked up at him, and even from under the giant brim of her flopping hat, he could make out her smile. “It is. Thank you, Ash. I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

The sand was fine, almost like icing sugar, and as they walked, Ash found a few beautiful seashells he’d picked out and handed to her. She held them all in her cupped hand as they walked.

“I don’t believe you that you’ve never been to a beach before, Val. A real beach.”

She stopped walking and dug her toes into the sand. “When we were first married, Heather’s father and I went to the West Coast, but Seattle doesn’t really have beaches. Well, not like this, anyway.”

He shook his head. “No, they don’t.”

She was looking a little wilted in the hot sun, so he directed her gently to the shade of some palm trees at the edge of the sand where she could still enjoy the beach, but also get out of the sun for a bit. They sat on a low growing palm that made a perfect bench and Ash handed her a bottle of water. “Did you travel more with your husband after that trip?”

Her mouth pinched into a frown and for a minute Ash thought she might stop talking altogether.

“No,” she said after a moment. “He died.”

He knew that from what Heather had said, but he could see Val might open up a little. Maybe she needed to open up. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“It was a long time ago.” She shrugged, but he could see it still bothered her.

“Can I ask you, what happened?”

“Heather didn’t tell you?”

Ash shook his head.

“I’m surprised.” He waited. “I’m sure she told you I was a terrible mother.”

“She didn’t say that.”

“Now I know you’re lying.” Val chuckled but there was no mirth in it. “I’m afraid I wasn’t the mother Heather needed. But I did the best I could and I kept her safe. That was all I needed to do. Keep her safe.”

“That’s very important,” he agreed. “I’d say you did that well.”

“I couldn’t keep Harold safe.”

Ash wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly. “Pardon?”

“I couldn’t keep Harold safe,” she repeated. “My husband. It was my only job as a wife and mother, to keep my family safe. And I failed.”

He lifted the bottle of water to his lips, suddenly parched from the heat—or the familiar words being used in a totally different context. “I’m sure his death wasn’t your fault. Sometimes terrible things happen.” The irony of him using the exact same words that had been used on him for years wasn’t lost on him, but Ash didn’t focus on it.

“You’re not telling me anything I haven’t heard before,” she said. “Everyone means well when they try to make you feel better, but they don’t know.” Val shook her head. “But the truth is, they just don’t understand. I doubt you would either.”

“Try me,” he said. “I think you’d be surprised.”

Val took her time, drank some water and deliberately put the cap back on the bottle before she spoke again. “It was his dream to see the world,” she said. “He wanted to travel. Idaho was never big enough for him. Heather was just like him.” Her lips turned up in a small smile, but then it was gone again. “I didn’t share his wanderlust, but I loved him and I wanted him to be happy, so I agreed to a trip. Heather was only five. I thought she was too young to leave her with friends, but Harold insisted she was old enough and he wanted to celebrate our anniversary at one of those resorts in Mexico. You know the kind…drinks and food and…”

“An all-inclusive resort?”

She nodded. “Right. That.”

“But you said you’d never been to a beach like this before.”

“And it’s true. You see, I didn’t like the idea. But he talked me into it. He took care of everything. He booked the flights, took time off work, even had his mother come into town to babysit for us. But I just wasn’t okay with it. I worried about leaving Heather. I couldn’t sleep. I obsessed. I had nightmares that something terrible was going to happen and when it came time to go, I couldn’t.”

“You couldn’t go?”

“You think I’m crazy, right?”

He kind of did, but he didn’t say anything. Not yet. “What happened?”

“We didn’t go. Harold was very calm about it. He didn’t yell at me, or get mad. He got his money back. We lost a bit of the deposit, and I knew he was upset about that. Heck, he was probably upset with me about the whole thing. But he never said so. Ultimately he told me that if I wasn’t comfortable with it, we’d celebrate at home and go on a trip another time. He knew how I worried about him and Heather. He loved me and wanted me to be happy.”

“That’s sweet.”

Val shook her head. “No. It’s not. Two days later, he was killed.”

Ash was not expecting that. He tried to hide the shock on his face, but obviously didn’t do a very good job. “But that can’t possibly be your fault. An accident is terrible, but not in any way your fault.”

Val nodded sadly and dug her toes into the sand. “Don’t you see? If I hadn’t have insisted we stay, he wouldn’t have been on the highway that day, going to work. There was a car with a flat tire and he stopped to help. The truck driver didn’t see them until it was too late. If we’d been in Mexico, he would have been safe.”

Ash shook his head. “No. That doesn’t make sense.”

“I knew you wouldn’t understand.” Val stood and walked down toward the water again.

Ash packed up the cooler and quickly caught up with her again. “But that doesn’t explain why you didn’t want Heather to travel. It was staying home that killed your husband. Not that I think that had anything to do with it,” he quickly added. “But like you said, if he’d been in Mexico with you, he wouldn’t have been involved with the accident. So why are you so against traveling? Heather said you wouldn’t let her go anywhere.”

“It is my job as a wife and mother to keep them safe. If I could keep her close, I could protect her.”

“You can’t really believe that.”

Val stopped walking and turned to Ash with such sadness on her face. He hardly knew the woman, but his heart ached for her and everything she’d lost in her life. “I don’t,” she said simply. “But I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t lose her, too.” She dropped her head and Ash knew without looking closely that the woman was crying. “But all I did was push her away.”

He couldn’t disagree. He gave her a few minutes to cry her silent tears and then he took her by the arm and gave it a squeeze. “But there’s a difference.” She looked into his face, waiting for the advice he should have already taken himself. “Heather’s not gone.”