Singer

My feet stop as soon as I enter the pub, the door whacking me in the ass and scooting me farther inside. Something is cutting into my upper arm, so I reach up and yank the price tag off the shirt and tuck it into my pocket as I look around. I don’t see Ethan, but I do see a sea of orange. Shit. Figures.

I start to back out, but my breath stops hard in my chest when I notice Ethan lean back from the row of people at the bar, smile at me while patting a guy on the back, and then come my way. Damn. The man can work a sports jersey and a pair of jeans. Pointing at my shirt, he says, “I didn’t know you were a baseball fan.”

“I’m not, but I wanted to fit in. I assumed we were going to watch the Yankees.”

Eyeing me, he winks. “The Yankees never looked better.” The man knows how to charm a girl. He then leads me to a booth in the corner. “I got here early so we’d have a good seat for the game.”

“You did?” I slip into the booth.

“Sure,” he replies, resting his hands on the table. “What would you like to drink?”

“I’ll have what you’re having.”

“I just ordered a pitcher.” The smirk that follows makes my tummy flip-flop in excitement.

“Great.”

“Be right back.”

I watch as he walks to the bar and leans over an open seat. Big smile and a headful of teased hair is happy to serve him. She’s a flirty redhead, smiling a toothy grin while wearing an Astros T-shirt cut from the collar to the bottom of her cleavage. It’s tied tightly underneath her breasts to show off her assets. She definitely knows her audience.

 Turning my attention to the TV, the announcer says it’s the bottom of the third. Astros are leading. When Ethan returns, he slides into the rounded booth and glances between the TV and me. I ask, “So this is where Astros fans hangout?”

He chuckles. “I think it’s where everyone but Yankees fans hang out.”

I squeeze the handle of my purse, ready to bolt. “Should I go home and change?”

“No.” He blatantly checks me out, and I can’t deny I like the way he looks at me. “I think you look great.”

“Thanks.” A soft heat warms me while he pours the beer. To distract myself, I point to his shirt. “Are you from the South? You’re brave to be cheering for a Texas team in Manhattan.”

“I’m a Texan, tried and true, but I moved here officially about eight months ago. I was here all the time before then.”

“What brought you here?”

“My business. Things have”—he pauses, his eyes leaving mine momentarily—“changed, been restructured, so I’m working on some things that require me to be here full-time. It’s complicated.”

Wonder if that restructuring and change extends to dating as well. “What do you do? If you don’t mind me asking.”

He looks surprised and then pleased. “You don’t google your dates?”

“I didn’t know this was a date.”

“Probably best on both accounts.”

He takes a large gulp of beer, and I watch as his Adam’s apple bobs. Because even that is attractive when he does it. Curiosity kills me, and I ask, “Why would it be best?”

A wide smile appears. “Because apparently the universe keeps telling me that relationships and me don’t mix.”

“You’re a person not a cocktail.”

That makes him chuckle. “True. Let’s just say I haven’t had a lot of luck

in the love department.”

“I thought we were talking about dating?”

“Love and dating, are they not the same thing?”

“God, I hope not. Though one leads to the other.”

“How about you? I’ve seen you with a few guys over the last year. No one serious?”

“No one keeping me from hanging out in a sports bar on a Sunday afternoon with you.”

His grin grows. “Their loss. My gain.”

The bar roars to life when the Astros score a homerun, and Ethan stands to get a better view during the replay. “Man, that was a great hit.” He drops down and clinks his pint glass against mine.

I keep watching him as I take a sip, the butterflies returning to my stomach.

“As for dating,” he says, picking up where we left off earlier, “practice makes perfect.”

When I dare take a look his way again, my shoulders drop a little. “I get tired of the practice.”

“I look at it like baseball.” He glances to the TV again.

“Like a game?” I ask, following his gaze, then back to him. “I think most men do.”

When his green eyes meet mine, he says, “No, not a game, but the practice. Practice is just warm-up for the game. A few great games lead to the playoffs.”

“And the playoffs lead to?”

“The World Series.”

I smile. “So every date moves you toward The World Series?”

Laughing, he says, “Well, no guarantees with that. I’ve been stuck in the minors for a few years.”

With a new perspective, I realize just because the dates are bad doesn’t mean they aren’t valuable. I need to look at dating like this and put the fun back in fun and games when it comes to dating. “Maybe it’s time we’re recruited into the big leagues.” I tap my glass against his this time and take another sip.

Our eyes stay connected over the lip of the pint glass. When he lowers his, his smile is broad and mischievous. “I’m kind of pausing my personal life for now.”

“Why?”

“Things are complicated.”

“So you keep saying.”

Chuckling, he adds, “So I do.”

I don’t bother filling in the blank space. I want him to expand on that last comment, but his interest in the topic seems to have faded. His interest in me, seems to have picked up. Leaning a little closer, he asks, “How old are you, Singer?”

Taken aback by his question, I rest back, scoff, then laugh. “Wow, umm—”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m just curious.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-eight.”

I know it shouldn’t matter, but I like that he’s older than me more than I should. “I’m twenty-five.”

“You look younger.”

“Is that why you asked me to hang out instead of go out?” I choose my words carefully even when joking.

“Ha! No. I’m glad you’re older.”

I burst out laughing. “Man, now I’m older?”

He’s chuckling harder. “I’m screwing up here.”

“You’re doing better than you think, but I’m still curious to why you asked me here.”

Our gazes hold a beat, then another until his lips rise up on the sides. “Our paths kept crossing—”

“Then maybe it was meant to be,” I interject with a little grin of my own.

His smile remains, and if I’m not mistaken, maybe a little wistfulness is seen in the upturn. “Do you believe in destiny?”

“I don’t believe in something controlling our lives. I own every bad decision I make.”

Ethan chuckles. “Do you make many?”

“Enough to know that if destiny is in charge, she’s out for revenge.”

“If this is revenge, it sure is sweet.” The bar crowd gets louder again, and he swears, “Shit. Tied game.” He tops off our glasses and turns away from the TV as if it’s offended him.

The other team scores again, dragging our attention back to the large screens hanging over the bar. “Are you into all sports or just baseball?”

“I like most sports, but baseball is my favorite to watch.”

I twist the glass around in my hand. “Why is that?”

“I admire the patience, the skill, and the grace of the game.”

I admire him.

I think I expected Ethan to be more arrogant and self-important, but he’s not that. This Ethan is kind. Attentive. Charming. Well, I knew he was charming, but he’s kind. He’s so kind. And I find that I’m content.

I’m relaxed and having fun. It’s easy to spend time with him because I don’t believe I have to put on a charade. He asks about me, his interest genuine by his attention when I answer. I sigh quietly, still confused by what today is about. Is it a date or two friends hanging out?

Conversation doesn’t lag and my enjoyment of the game has developed as he explains some of the plays.  

By the eighth inning, we’ve worked our way through nachos, two hot dogs, and a bowl of popcorn when Ethan stands. “This game is over. Want to get out of here?”

“Sure. Where do you want to go?”

“Want to walk and see where we end up?”

After paying, we land on the sidewalk, and he lets me choose which direction. I’m not familiar with the area, but I know we’re walking south. “Singer is an interesting name. What’s the story behind it?”

“It’s my mother’s maiden name. She wanted to represent her side of the family, so they split the difference. First name from her side. Last name from my dad’s. I wish I had a more interesting story.”

“You make up for it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think you’re interesting all on your own.”

My instant reaction is to want to look down, but I don’t. I hold my chin level and keep my eyes on him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I have another confession.”

I clench my hands, bracing myself. “Okay.”

As if the whole world is weighing him down, he sighs. “I probably shouldn’t admit this.”

Feeling antsy all of a sudden, I run my hands covertly over my jeans, nervous what he’s going to say. “Ethan, just say it.”

“I read your book.”

“What book?” I ask, but quickly answer my own question. “The book in the park?” The romance novel? My eyes go wide.

His laughter is light, but it still gets my attention. “It was a little mushy in parts, but it was good overall. I bought the next one in the series.”

With my hand to my chest, I feel like my heart might burst wide open from swooning, all because he read the whole book. “I haven’t even finished that book. How did you?”

“I’m a fast reader. My time is limited so fitting things in for pleasure has become a struggle. I also might have stayed up late reading it to impress you.”

“You wanted to impress me?”

“Sure,” he replies, shrugging. “Did it work?”

Laughing, I reply, “It did, but I bet your date didn’t like that.” Fine, I’m testing the waters. I’m interested in him and nosy about his personal life.

“What date?”

“Last night.”

“I didn’t have a date, Singer, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Dropping my gaze to the ground, I’m not smooth. That much is obvious. “Sorry. I should have just asked.”

Lifting my chin, my eyes meet his again. “If you want to know something, anything, ask me.” He looks down the street and nods for us to keep walking, so we do. “Anyway, I stayed home. I had some work to catch up on and then I read.”

“But you’re”—I wave up and down his body—“you. You didn’t go out on a Saturday night?”

“Now I feel like a disappointment. Is it sad that I ordered pizza and stayed home?”

This news fans the flame of my staying-home-loving heart. “Not sad. I enjoy nights in. Pajamas, candy, and a good movie. That’s a good night.”

“Is that what you did last night?”

“I got takeout and watched a movie.” Walking next to him, I ask, “Why did you really read the book?”

“You want the truth?”

Tilting my head, I deadpan, “No. Lie to me.”

He has a great laugh. I let my gaze slide from his smile to his neck. He’s so tempting to touch. I don’t, but the desire is definitely there.

Still grinning, he replies, “I was intrigued by the part I read in the park. And, because I wanted to be able to talk to you about something you enjoy.”

“So you really read it for me?” Trying to calm my crazed heart, I fail, and it begins racing anyway.

“I did.”

Emotions for this man begin to bloom in my chest. “That’s really sweet, you know that?”

“You’re really sweet, Singer. I think that’s why it’s going to be difficult not to practice with you.”

“Practice?”

Appearing shy for the first time in all the times I’ve seen him, he looks away. “Bad reference to our dating conversation earlier. Anyway, I liked the book.”

Although he’s quick to divert the conversation, I catch on to what he’s really saying. He can’t practice . . . can’t date me. As much as I want to ask more about practicing, I don’t. The mixed signals jumble my thoughts, and my stomach ties up in knots.

No dating. But he wanted to impress me?

He’s said it, but why don’t I believe him? Was he not flirting with me before? While his face is angled away, I stare at him, hoping to find an answer. His jaw ticks, his eyes focused on something in the distance.

I refuse to show him my disappointment, so instead of taking the time to untangle my emotional mess, I ask, “What was your favorite part?”

We stop at the corner in front of a colorful window display. Standing with our arms pressed together, our eyes meet in the reflection, and he says, “Her heart. Her heart pulses in her chest, every beat an answering response to my own throbbing question.” My lips part and my breath catches as I listen to the lines of the book recited from memory.

My whole body heats, my feelings flamed by the words as I dare to look at him as he continues, “I want to kiss you until the clouds disperse and the sun sets. I want to hold you until the moon disappears into the morning light. I want to”—his eyes meet mine—“make love to you until your body falls apart and then piece you back together with the emotions I feel for you.”

Hearts. Roses. A gamut of romantic feelings erupt within my soul. I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him until the clouds disperse and the sun sets. I want to touch him the way his words have touched me—heavy and deep. But hope is not something I can feel with Ethan. He’s made his intentions clear.

No practice.

I start to think back at all the lost opportunities that seem too far gone to give us a fresh start—from last year on that balcony when he was so easily distracted to today’s invitation to hang out.

Maybe we’re not meant to be. All the questions start popping in my head, little light bulb moments reminding me to protect myself and my heart. Why is he taunting me with pretty words when he’s certain he’ll never act on them?

I can’t let myself get sucked into another relationship that won’t lead anywhere, no matter how attractive Ethan is, how he makes me laugh, how he brings out a smile just by smiling, or causes my body to react from only a glance. He’s smart, charming, and attentive.

Damn him.

Deep inside, hope starts to frown.

Damn it.

I want to ask why he doesn’t want to practice with me. The more time I spend with him is going to be detrimental in the end. I can’t subject myself to the scrutiny of my contrary inner thoughts, so I pop myself in the forehead dramatically. “I just remembered. I need to wake up early tomorrow for a meeting. I need to go. I should get some sleep.” I peek over at him to see if he’s falling for my abrupt excuse.

His brows are bent in confusion when his eyes land on mine. “It’s only five thirty.”

“I have laundry. Lots of laundry.” Which is the truth, though I have enough clean clothes to get by for a few days.

“Okay.” His eyes narrow, and he looks perplexed as I start to back away. My hand is up to wave, but I stop when he asks, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” I reply, honesty getting the best of me. “You’ve done everything right.” He has, which makes walking away that much harder, but what’s the point in staying if he doesn’t want to go out with me again?

Perplexed deepens into true confusion. “But you’re leaving, and that’s so wrong.”

I now know that Ethan Everest is definitely someone I could fall for if I’m not careful. I can’t fall in love with someone who doesn’t want love in his life. Doesn’t want me. And I must leave before more damage is done. “I need to go. I’m sorry.”

Tucking his hands in his pockets, he nods. “Can I call you a cab?”

“I’ll take the subway.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. Thanks.”

The early evening sunlight filters through the buildings as if seeking him out to shine down on. He carries a small smile on his face and stormy-green eyes that reveal a circle of gray at the moment. Gorgeous. “I enjoyed spending time with you, Singer.”

“Me too.”

“Maybe we can hang out again sometime?”

I take two steps back. “Maybe,” I reply with hesitation. There’s no crime with him being upfront on how he sees us. Thinking back on the last few hours, I did enjoy our time together. “Thanks for today.”

“Thanks for coming.”

More steps separate us, but the fun banter continues, “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure.”

“Don’t google me.”

I pause, my eyes locked with his. Asking me not to makes me want to more than I did before, but I promise anyway. “I won’t.”

“Thanks,” he says, sheepish. “Be safe getting home.”

“I will,” I reply, dashing off.

He says loud enough for me to hear despite the distance, “I’ll call you.”

Waving overhead, I keep moving toward the nearest subway station.

My first thought is that I forgot to ask how he knew my name last year. My second is how’d he get my number? But when I look back at him standing so strong in his stance, I realize I’m okay not having all the answers to this man just yet. Part of me looks forward to unraveling his mysteries, but the other part continues to be wary.

Why can’t dating ever be easy?