Chapter 5

Rafe’s vision narrowed on his wife in a pink dress and adorable clogs, her hair twisted up with tendrils framing her face. Even with her arms crossed and her spitfire, brown-eyed glare, she appeared delicate, graceful, perfect. Everything he remembered.

Was this what it felt like to die from regret? His heart burning from the inside out. An ache in his arms from staying still when all he wanted was to pull her against his chest. And he had a hard-on, like an iron dumbbell in his pants, that he prayed she hadn’t noticed.

“What do you mean by protecting me?” she demanded.

Since he’d left Pops’s trailer with no plan or thoughts about what he was going to say or do, all he could offer was, “I was worried.”

“Why?”

“I thought…” He ran a hand over his head again, grateful that none of his Fianna brothers—or any of his buddies from his ex-A-team—were watching. He could barely put two words together. “You might be in trouble.”

“I’ve built a life for myself without you, and I can take care of myself.” She waved an arm to indicate the garden square that he remembered as a parking garage. “I’m okay.”

“More than okay. You’re beautiful.” Fuuuuuuck. Could he be more lame?

A flush turned her cheeks pink, and she pursed her lips. A sure sign of her rising anger and eventual retreat. Hell. This wasn’t going well. Which was probably why the Prince had forbidden Rafe from ever seeing her again.

He felt a raindrop and glanced up at the darkening sky. He’d missed the storms that rolled in from the Isle. The ionized air that cleared out the humidity, the city’s moldy stench eclipsed by the tang of wet pavement, the static-charged breeze.

Since they had at least fifteen minutes before the storm hit, and Juliet stared at him like he had horns on his head, he motioned to the iron bench wrapped in plastic beneath an oak tree. “Can we sit?”

She turned toward the fountain.

He followed her gaze, and the warmth of hope loosened the tightness in his gut.

Yes, he’d screwed up his life beyond repair. Yes, he may have broken his tithe and put her in more danger by coming here for no good reason. Yes, she had every reason to hate him and not speak to him. But from the moment he’d seen Pegasus, the winged horse from the constellation they used to follow in the Isle’s summer skies, he’d wondered if maybe there was a way to repair what he’d destroyed.

And if not fix, then atone for. Maybe that would bring them both some closure.

Maybe that would bring them both some peace.

Her rapid breathing, raising her breasts in a rhythmic pattern, proved she wasn’t as immune to him as she pretended. While he stood there with his heart pumping wildly, his desire out and about for all to see, Juliet finally nodded.

After he used his hand to wipe her seat clean, she sat with her hands clasped in her lap, looking at everything other than him while he lowered himself next to her. Her lavender scent slammed into him, and he held back a groan. Not happy with the way his lower half responded, he leaned forward until his forearms cut into his thighs. “Has anything weird happened lately?”

“Weird how?”

“Has anyone been following you? Or harassed you in any way?”

“No.” She blew away the strand of hair that kept falling forward. “I’ve had some vandalism at my shop, but the city is seeing an uptick in low-level crimes and drug use.”

“Has anyone broken into your apartment?” From the pots of gardenias, lavender, and roses he’d seen on a balcony over her shop, he figured she lived above her store. She’d always loved those flowers. She’d even carried them in her wedding bouquet.

“No.” She glanced at him with a furrowed brow and questioning eyes. “Have you seen Pops yet?”

“Yes. I’m staying with him for a while.”

“Good.” She slipped her hands between her clenched knees, the action pulling down the fabric of her dress and lowering the neckline a quarter of an inch. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make his sweat burn his skin. “I hope he was happy to see you.”

As opposed to her? Rafe studied her face, with her downcast gaze, tight lips that were turning white, and high cheek bones that seemed more prominent. Probably due to her weight loss. Yes, he’d noticed that too. She’d lost at least ten pounds since he’d left her. “He didn’t throw me out.”

She nodded. “So why do you think you have to save me? Because, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I can take care of myself.”

Yes, she’d said that a few times now. He also knew it wasn’t completely true. Hell, he understood her better than anyone. When faced with conflict, she retreated inside herself, afraid to rely on another. Her fear of trusting anyone—especially him—with her heart had been the greatest source of conflict in their marriage.

Then again, she had good reasons not to trust people. Her mother had died in childbirth. Her father had neglected her. The Isle had turned against her. Rafe had abandoned and betrayed her. The rationalization that he’d destroyed her to save her only worked on mornings when a bullet through the head seemed more inviting than the morning sun.

“I believe someone I worked for is following you. Or at least keeping track of you.”

She squinted at him. “The arms dealer you left your A-team for?”

That was the rumor she believed? Although it wasn’t true, it’d work for now. “Where’d you hear that?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She sighed, and her shoulders slumped forward. “Why would this person care about me?”

“Because he believes you’re important to me.”

“Am I?” she asked softly, her eyes filled with other questions he knew he couldn’t answer. “Important to you?”

“Always and forever.”

She stood suddenly, her hands tucking hair behind both ears. “How long has this keeping track of me been going on?”

He stood and made sure to keep at least a foot of space between them. He didn’t trust himself any closer. “I don’t know.”

“Does it have anything to do with your release?”

“Maybe.”

“Is there anything you can tell me for sure? Like why you left? What you’ve been doing for the past eight years? Why you came back?” The pain in her voice sent an ache deep into his heart. All of this hurt was his fault, and he had no idea how to fix it. The only thing he did know was that telling her the truth would get them both killed.

“I’m sorry, Juliet. I can’t give you the answers you need. All I can do is ask you to trust me. And watch out for anything unusual.”

Her laugh sounded hoarse, like she was holding back tears. “You should go. I’d appreciate it if you’d leave town as soon as possible—” A phone buzzed, and she took her cell out of her dress pocket to read the message. “When you said unusual, did you mean like this?”

She handed him the phone with a text. From Escalus.

What you’ve done? Tis forbidden.

“Rafe? What does this message mean?”

“It means I was right about you being in danger.” Rafe texted back.

Where are you?

Let us withdraw unto some private place and reason coldly of your grievances. The site of Lord Capel’s demise, perhaps?

Rafe deleted the messages and handed the phone back. “Where did your father die?”

She paused for a long moment before saying, “Capel Manor.”

He wished he didn’t have to do this, but since his wishes were never granted, he said, “I have to leave, but please go back to your apartment and lock the door.”

“I don’t understand. What’s forbidden?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why do I have to hide?”

“Because I can’t protect you right now. I’ll come to your apartment later and explain as much as I can.” He kissed her on the cheek—for the second time that day—and left the square.

It was time to kill Escalus.

* * *

Juliet pressed one hand against her cheek and watched Rafe walk away. How could she have forgotten that being with Rafe was like standing in the middle of a tornado? While the center was a quiet vacuum, the wind outside howled, lightning sparked, and debris brought down everything in the funnel’s path. When the storm passed, it left behind destruction.

A few raindrops kicked her out of her Rafe-is-back stupor, and she moved everything from the work table into the construction trailer. She wasn’t sure what to think of Rafe’s return, the strange text message, or anything else. He had no right to come back and demand things of her. Especially since the few answers he’d given her only led to more questions. And as far as her being in danger? She’d been in far worse situations since he’d left, and she’d learned a lot about survival from her time with Nate Walker, not to mention Deke.

Besides, she had other things to worry about, like Carina’s no-show check, the loan disaster, and winning the Prideaux House job.

Thunder and lightning rocked overhead, and she cleared the work site. Once the men were ensconced in the coffee shop across the street, she went back to the trailer to get her camera and workbag. She still had time to walk to Prideaux House before getting soaked.

As she left, she noticed a couple embracing at the end of the street. With his legs spread apart, his hands against her back, the man held the woman so close a knife couldn’t slide between them. Her smaller hands, with fingers spread on his biceps, gripped shoulders double her width.

Memories slammed into Juliet, and her chest tightened. She knew what it felt like to be pulled against a body larger and harder than her own. To be so thoroughly kissed, held so close with such gentleness until they both melted away. She also remembered the lies, heartache, and betrayal. The ultimate disappointment that comes from being vulnerable.

Sighing, she turned the other way and pulled out her phone.

Three rings later, Deke answered, “Damn, Jade. I hope I have something you need.”

“I have to see you.”

“I’ve missed you too. Ready to come back, baby?”

It’d taken eight grueling years to rebuild her life, doing things she wasn’t proud of, things she’d had to do to survive. And while she wished she didn’t have to strip tonight, the heavy raindrops only strengthened her resolve. “Yes, Deke. I’m ready.”

* * *

An hour later on the Isle of Grace, Rafe slammed the truck’s door and wiped the sweat off his forehead with his arm. He’d ground gears until he hit the Cemetery of Lost Children and couldn’t drive any further. The hum of cicadas filled the air, tombs shimmered in the humidity, and the scent of honeysuckle burned his nose.

Deep inside Capel land property borders, he stood halfway between Pops’s trailer and Capel Manor. The woods had reclaimed the bush roads, and the path ahead was impenetrable. No different than his relationship with Juliet.

Hell. He never should have gone to see her. He’d known the danger and had essentially given the middle finger to the Prince. Yet his heart had decided before his head, which, come to think of it, was why he was in this situation to begin with. Despite his training as a Green Beret and then as a Fianna warrior, he’d always given in to his greatest weakness: his love for Juliet. It’d driven every life decision he’d ever made.

He hated leaving her in town, but he had to fix what he’d screwed up before the Prince found out.

Rafe took off his jacket and checked his watch. He’d have to walk the rest of the way and had two options: fight his way through the woods filled with gnarled yews and prickly ash or hump it through the cemetery where his mother had died eight years ago. The knot in his lower stomach tightened. Definitely the forest.

In the truck, he found a hunting knife and his gun. Hot, sweaty, and pissed off, he loaded up and headed for the trees. This morning he’d felt repentant, even humbled, but Escalus’s threat changed that. Back to the way it should be. Back to the way it’d been while working for the Prince. Strange how easily he fell into routines of scanning his surroundings and carrying deadly weapons. It made him feel whole, strong, and dangerous. Like the predator he’d been in the Fianna.

Thirty minutes later, he used his T-shirt to wipe the sweat off his face. A hedgerow of thistles protected an expanse of pluff mud surrounding the vine-covered manor. Balconies sagged. Chimneys on both ends of the house held up the caved-in roof. The collapsed upper floor reminded him of a broken hammock. While he’d figured things would be different, he’d never expected ruin.

A branch cracked, and a deer bounded by. He reached for his gun. The brush on one side and the forest on his other left him with one option. He followed the deer.