I never needed saving.
I just needed to remember
Where I last hung my cape.
Day 932 Post-Gavin
“Are you ready for this?” Sabrina yells at me.
It smells God-awful in here and I’m sure my twisted expression reflects that. Still, it’s easy to answer that question.
“Of course, asshole.”
My niece, Penelope, grabs my hand and squeezes my fingers together. I smile at her brunette little head, loving that she looks a hell of a lot like my mother.
There was no way Sabrina could escape that fate.
And so, she named her after her.
Penny has my left hand in a death grip and is yanking on the ring there, its sparkly diamond catching her eye.
“Ouch, honey,” I say as I gingerly remove her hand from mine. When she starts to cry, I pick her up.
“Two under two,” she cries out as her newborn, Jillian, cries on the changing table.
“Penny here is nearly two, thank you very much.”
“Not fucking close enough.”
I set her daughter down in front of the TV, which means she’ll be quiet for ten minutes, tops.
“I thought we weren’t swearing in front of the children anymore.”
“Fuck that,” she says as she finishes up with the baby. “Only around Peter. He’s so annoying about it.”
Here we are, two women from a less than fortunate upbringing, living our very own happily ever afters.
“So, he’s coming any day now, huh?”
I grin and nod.
“How are you feeling? Emotionally?”
I pause, my eyes on the back of Penny’s head. I glance down at my empty stomach.
“I wonder if he’ll feel like mine, even though I didn’t carry him.”
Sabrina hands me Jill with a scoff.
“He is yours. He just happened to be carried by someone else.”
I sit down with the baby and Sabrina walks into her kitchen.
“I know you’re saying that to make me feel better but, we don’t share the same genes. What about health issues? Or if his parents decide they don’t want to give him up, last minute?” The baby starts fussing just as Sabrina comes back with a bottle in her hand.
She takes Jill from me and settles into the sofa before starting to feed her.
“You need to relax. And remember: whatever is yours can’t be taken from you.”
I try to relax, taking a deep breath, reminding myself that I’d had one more miscarriage before I threw in the towel and we decided adoption would be best for us.
“I’ve got to head to my appointment,” I tell Sabrina and stand. She’s so focused on the baby, eyes full of love, that she only waves me away with her free hand.
Part of me misses the way she used to only have me, and I only had her. But life meant change and growth and every blessing we added to our lives made our lives that much fuller.
My phone rings.
“Hi,” I answer, a smile on my face. “What’s up?”
“Fahmida said she’d cover for me. Meet you at the doctor?”
I’m unlocking the car door as he tells me this.
“It’s only a routine follow-up,” I explain, turning the car on and checking traffic before entering the flow.
The car still had that newly purchased scent. There were a ton of new purchases in our lives, getting ready for the baby.
“I know but I want to be there for you. I know I’ve been working like crazy—”
“To get ready,” I interject.
“But that doesn’t mean you don’t get some love and support. You’re number one, love.”
My eyes water and I nod as I pull into the doctor’s office.
“I’m here,” I tell him. “See you inside.”
“Yep. Pulling in.”
I’m seated in the waiting room when I see him. He scans the room, expressionless. Once he sees me, his entire face transforms. He sits next to me and takes my face in his hands.
“Hello, beautiful,” he whispers before kissing me.
Almost as soon as he’s done, my name is called.
“Denise Singh?”
I stand, and he follows. Every time I walk through these corridors, I get that uneasy feeling. Gavin takes my hand and when I look over at him, he’s all smiles.
“How are you feeling today?” The nurse asks.
“We’re adopting, and he should be here any day now, so a little emotional. Tired from all the preparation.”
The nurse opens a door to one of the rooms.
“How beautiful,” she says before taking my weight.
I stare horrified at the scale.
“Gavin! Why didn’t you tell me I was getting fat?”
A good ten-pound increase.
“You look amazing.” He wiggles his eyebrows and I groan.
“It’s your damn cooking.”
The nurse watches our banter with a grin and asks a few health questions before letting us know the doctor would be in soon.
“This is all your fault,” I tell him with a pout, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I love it.” His eyes are on my chest and I push him away when he walks toward me.
“Touch them and die.”
“I’ll do more than touch them later,” he vows just as the doctor knocks.
“Hi,” Dr. Gandy exclaims. “How are we today, my dear?”
“Good. Everything seems to be in working order.”
She nods and eyes her laptop.
“Well, I know you mentioned a few weeks ago that your periods were getting lighter and asked that we check on that. We had you come in for some testing and . . .” She looks at her laptop again and then back to me. “You’re pregnant!”
“Uh . . .”
I look over at Gavin, who’s smiling like this is a good thing.
“We all know how this is going to end . . .”
The doctor places her hand on my knee.
“I wouldn’t say that.”
The world tilts just a little as she goes on to explain that I’m a lot farther in this pregnancy than any of my others.
“Four months, if your hormone levels indicate anything.” She tells the nurse that they’ll be doing an ultrasound and that’s when the questions start to bubble over.
“How is this possible? What’s different this time? I haven’t been taking any vitamins, so will that affect the baby?” The next question is for Gavin. “Two babies?!”
“Well, we only know there’s one for sure,” Dr. Gandy says calmly.
“She means that we’re adopting a baby any day now,” Gavin explains.
“Oh . . .”
All I can do is stare at Gavin with panic when they wheel the equipment in. And then the lights are turned off and I’m staring at this little blob on the screen that flickers.
“There it is,” the doctor whispers. “Ready to change your whole life.”
Gavin’s hold on my hand tightens as he wipes away tears with his free one.
“We can do this,” he says. And it takes me back to a time when I’d whispered the same sentiment to the first almost blessing.
“I’m scared,” I confess. He kisses the back of my hand.
“It’s okay, love. Whatever is meant, will be.”
The doctor talks to us about precautions and taking things easy. She gives me her personal line in case of any emergencies, writes me a prescription for prenatal vitamins, hands me the image of our little one, and sends us on our way.
Gavin insists on leaving my car there and driving us home. On the way, I take a picture of the sonogram and send it to Sabrina with the words “two under two” along with it.
Her hysterical phone call that follows is one that I have to cut short. Gavin and I really need to reflect on what our lives could possibly be like with all of these changes.
“But two babies?” I ask, taking my clothes off to get ready for a shower.
“People have twins all the time,” he counters. “Plus, Fahmida would help out. She says she still isn’t ready to remarry and I have to respect that wish.”
He’s reached a middle ground with his family. Untraditional living meant give and take when it came to customs.
“What if we get so caught up in all of it that we lose sight of what’s most important?”
We’re both naked in the bathroom and he wraps his arms around my waist.
“I could never lose sight of you ever again, Denise.”
“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”
He kisses my neck and places a hand on my stomach.
“We know too many of each other’s secrets.”
I chuckle as I tuck my face into his torso.
“So you think we can do this?”
“Embrace your superhuman capabilities, woman. There isn’t anything you can’t do.”
He grabs a towel and holds it behind me, like a cape.
“You’re crazy,” I tell him as I laugh.
“Could be,” he says, dropping the towel and kissing me.
And all of my unlucky cards start to look a whole hell of a lot like a royal flush.