FOURTEEN

 

For a while, everything had seemed so perfect, more than Dane ever could have imagined getting in his life. For a while, he’d felt safe and like he could have a home, a lover, a family, but really, he should have known that such things were impossible for a man like him.

Something was going on with Taylor.

Maybe relationships were a pretty new thing for Dane, but he would have had to be blind and deaf not to notice that Taylor was hiding something. As Christmas passed, and the New Year was rung in, a lot of the pleasure was taken away from the novel experience of having a family to spend the holidays with, people to buy presents for, because as the weeks passed, Taylor seemed to withdraw into himself more and more.

It wasn’t like Taylor was ever exactly the most chatty person in the world, and Dane didn’t expect him to be. Taylor was quiet, thoughtful, preferring to stand back and watch the world rather than interact much with it. It was just part of who he was, and Dane couldn’t, and didn’t, fault him for that.

But Taylor had drawn almost completely into himself by the time the first few weeks of January had passed, to the point where he and Dane pretty much didn’t speak at all. Finally, Dane had had enough, and though he had started to sleep in his own bed, waiting for Taylor to want to see him, one night Dane gathered his courage, rehearsing his arguments in his head as he walked quietly to Taylor’s room.

You’re never around.

Not even true, and far too accusatory. The last thing that he wanted, somewhat to his own surprise, was to drive Taylor away, and if those words sounded bad to him, how would they sound to Taylor if he heard them?

I feel like you’re hiding something.

True. Maybe he could work with that.

What’s going on, Taylor? Why don’t we spend time together anymore? Why won’t you talk to me?

Dane sighed as he stopped outside of Taylor’s room, looking at it thoughtfully. No matter how he said it, it sounded to him like he was accusing Taylor, and maybe he even was. Damn it, he was no good at this sort of thing, and part of him had to wonder what he had even thought he was doing, trying out this whole boyfriend thing.

Still, he was here now, and it was time to have this out. Maybe he wasn’t going to be able to find the perfect words, because God knew that he could offend people by being too blunt. But Taylor knew that, knew him, and he was just going to have to do his best and hope that Taylor could see the effort.

So he raised his hand, and it felt good to act, to rap lightly on the door to announce himself, and then to step into the room. Taylor was still awake, perched at his desk and peering intently down at something, and Dane slightly frowned as Taylor glanced up, startled, and abruptly turned in a flurry of movement which was so quick that Dane had a hard time seeing exactly what it was that he was doing. All he could say was that Taylor had rapidly bundled something away into a drawer of his desk.

“Dane?” Taylor asked, rising to his feet so quickly that Dane wasn’t even fully sure of what he had seen. And what was he supposed to do, storm over to the desk and force the drawer open? He had no right, and inexperienced with relationships or not, he was sure that would make him look completely psycho.

He had hoped that, once he was there, in person, he would be able to figure out the right words to say. Looking down into Taylor’s wary, maybe even suspicious, blue eyes, he frowned as he searched desperately for something, anything, to say. Anything to take that look of wariness, maybe even of suspicion, out of Taylor’s eyes.

“We gotta …” Dane started, even as he was wincing at the words he was about to say. We have to talk had to be just about the scariest sentence in the English language, in his experience. Very little good seemed to come out of it.

So maybe it was for the best that Taylor suddenly grabbed him and laid his lips against Dane’s, but had Dane imagined that look of fear that he had briefly seen scribed onto his lover’s face? There was no time to think about it because then Taylor’s tongue, hot and wet and indescribably sweet, was sweeping into his mouth and that was all that Dane could have room in his head for.

Taylor had been withdrawn in this way, too. Dane thought that it had been days, maybe even a full week, since Taylor had last kissed him, and longer than that since they’d done anything more. As much as he hated his body for it, he was responding strongly, and he groaned as he grabbed Taylor by his slender shoulders and pushed him down onto the bed.

And by some miracle, Taylor was there for him. Taylor was winding his arms around Dane, rolling them so that Taylor was perched on top of Dane’s body, which was suddenly so needy. Being neglected sexually had gotten to him, too, though not as much as the fact that Taylor hadn’t been talking to him.

“Taylor,” Dane groaned, fighting with himself. His body wanted what Taylor could give him, and he knew how good it would be, but they had other things that they needed to talk about. In the end, Taylor won, or they both did, maybe.

Dane growled, only barely managing to keep it quiet. Because while Danica and Rebecca were asleep, the last thing he wanted was this to be interrupted now that he was finally getting it. Taylor’s hands were everywhere, it seemed, determinedly stripping off every last stitch of clothing that Dane wore.

Taylor glanced into Dane’s eyes, a strange, thoughtful look passing between them. The sex was there, and the desire was rising between them, as it always seemed to, but it was like they both knew, they both had to acknowledge, that there was something else going on here, too. A sort of tension which had nothing to do with sex, no matter how much desire there was between them.

Clothing was off in seconds, and honestly, Dane couldn’t even remember the last time he had done this in so much of a hurry. Probably that time in the backyard when Taylor had apparently gone insane and had ridden him right on the swing.

The thought made him groan, sent a flush of all new heat through his veins, chasing away all of the inconvenient thoughts. Once they had this out of their system, then Dane could say what he had come to say, and maybe without the sexual tension, he’d be able to find the right words.

And then it was all gone. Everything, all of it, except for the pure wave of sensation, pleasure so intense it was almost painful. Taylor slid down Dane’s body, and his sweet, perfect, full lips wrapped themselves around Dane’s dick and sucked him deep into his hot mouth.

There was no way that Dane could focus on anything else. His thick cockhead rubbed over Taylor’s flat, wet tongue, which was pressing against all the most perfect spots on the underside of his cock. Taylor knew just how to do it to drive Dane wild, and he found himself growling, as softly as he could make himself do it, as he reached down to grab Taylor’s beautiful golden-brown hair.

His fingers slid through the soft, short strands, and he managed to get a bit of a grip on it. As Taylor moaned his encouragement, Dane thrust up between his lips, almost rough, almost hurting his boyfriend, he was sure, but then Taylor wasn’t complaining. If anything, the rougher Dane got with Taylor, the more Taylor seemed to like it.

In fact, Taylor, without even needing to be told to, had his cock out and was stroking himself urgently as he fucked his own face on Dane’s cock. Watching the swollen, leaking flesh as it slid through Taylor’s fist, watching how fast he stroked, how desperate he clearly was, only worked Dane up more, and brought him closer to the inevitable release that he knew Taylor was going to give him.

And he wanted it. He wanted to claim Taylor, suddenly, frustrating, quiet, independent Taylor, Taylor who seemed to be fighting what was happening between them, fighting any intimacy, more even than Dane was used to doing, which was saying something. He was getting back some of his own medicine, and he didn’t like it much.

“You’re mine,” Dane informed him, his voice a low, soft, but determined growl. As he spoke, the truth of the words resonated with him, each word making the next sound even more like the truth to him. Or what he wanted the truth to be, anyway. “You’re mine, Taylor. Whatever else is going on, you’re mine, and I’m gonna …”

His voice cut off then, because Taylor did that perfect thing with his tongue, just a little flick against the underside of his cock, where the head met the shaft. There was a particularly sensitive spot there, one which could make him come harder than anything else, almost, and Taylor ruthlessly stimulated it so that Dane couldn’t say anything.

So he showed him, instead. A few more deep, hard thrusts, and then he was spilling his come inside that beautiful mouth, pumping it full as Taylor gave some sweet, lovely little noises of his own, muffled by Dane’s cock and the hot, fresh come that he pumped between those lips.

For a moment, after his orgasm had hit, all Dane could do was keep right on clinging to Taylor’s head, trembling with the intense sensation which wouldn’t stop rolling through him. Finally, though, he released him, looking down to see that Taylor was smirking at him, as though highly pleased with himself.

As well he should be. It was sort of hard for Dane to believe, sometimes, that Taylor had been almost untouched when he’d given himself to Dane. Taylor was skilled now, and in a way that worked perfectly for Dane, since Taylor had learned on Dane’s body.

Still, it seemed that maybe Taylor needed some reminding of what Dane could do for him, too. This attraction, this magnetism, between them didn’t just go one way, and Dane had learned Taylor’s body every bit as well as Taylor had learned his.

“You’d better not think you’re done,” Dane informed him in a soft growl. Cupping the back of Taylor’s head, he pulled him up, not shying away from kissing him even though he could taste himself on Taylor’s lips.

“Even you’ll need a bit of a rest,” Taylor retorted, and Dane couldn’t help but grin. Even him? He didn’t exactly object to the way that Taylor had said that, like Dane had enough stamina to go again sooner than a lot of men could.

“Maybe,” Dane acknowledged, “But you don’t. Lie down, sweetheart.”

It was time for him to drive Taylor insane, and he knew that he wouldn’t be easy on the young man. He also knew that Taylor would love every second of it, and the talking that they still had to do, he told himself, could happen later.

 

* * *

 

But it didn’t.

Taylor was reading, and he didn’t even look up, hardly, when Dane woke up. He barely acknowledged him at all, and Dane sighed as he finally just gave up, for now, and rolled out of bed. He found his clothing, scattered haphazardly around, and got out of there before the coldness that Taylor was shooting in every direction froze him solid. It almost felt like it could, like the ice was coming off of him in waves.

Dane just didn’t have it in him to try to breach the defenses which Taylor had put up. So he left, and as he did, he had to muse to himself that Taylor had played that well. Dane had been completely distracted by the sex, just like Taylor had clearly wanted.

So what was going on here? Taylor had never been the most open guy in the world, but he had never removed himself so fully from Dane, either. Dane went back to his own room, deep in thought, glad when he didn’t run into anyone. He wasn’t going to be very good company right now, anyway, even if he could use the distraction.

There was one reason that Taylor would want to push him away. As much as he hated to think about it, didn’t it make sense? Taylor was done with him, and Dane had honestly been waiting for that for quite some time. He knew what he was, and he wasn’t the sort of person who belonged with anyone as amazing as Taylor was, anyone as brilliant, with such a future ahead of them.

His phone buzzed, and he frowned as he reached for it. He wasn’t expecting anyone to call, and it was a phone call, not the shorter noise that would indicate a text message. He grabbed the phone and peered briefly at the call display, and his eyebrows rose with surprise.

Why was his boss calling him? Not his current boss, which would make some sense, at least. This was someone that he hadn’t thought he would hear from ever again, not when Dane had told him that he intended to leave the fair. The parting hadn’t been bad or anything, even if the man hadn’t seemed to know why Dane would make the choice. Still, he’d seemed to respect it.

None of which explained why he would be calling now, and Dane slowly pressed on the screen, accepting the call.

“What’s up?” Dane forced his voice to come out far more casual than it naturally wanted to, and he almost chuckled to himself as he shook his head. He hadn’t seen this guy in months, or been his employee in as long, and yet, he was still convinced that he was somehow in trouble. Old habits die hard, he supposed.

“Dane. You bored yet?”

Dane considered that and then shook his head. No, he wasn’t bored. Far from it, actually. His life was by no means settled, and his head even less so, but he could answer that question pretty easily.

“Nah. Boredom’s the last thing on my mind,” Dane told him honestly, and his voice must have had a bit of a wry twist to it because his former boss chuckled softly. Not without sympathy, Dane thought, not that he wanted it, but definitely with amusement.

“The boyfriend giving you grief?” he was asked, and he frowned and shook his head, not in denial which the other man couldn’t have seen anyway, but just because that was his personal business and he wasn’t sure that he liked having it probed at. It was also undoubtedly a bit strange to have people openly talking about boyfriends, but that part, he had to admit, was actually sort of nice. Like it was a normal thing to do. Like he wasn’t some sort of freak.

“Don’t really wanna talk about it,” Dane grunted. “Look, I’m pretty sure that you didn’t call just to chat. So what’s going on?” It wasn’t like he and his boss had ever been on super friendly, chatty terms, so if the guy was calling, it was going to be for more of a reason than that.

“Fine, let’s cut to the chase, then. I want you back.”

Dane blinked, and a silence spun out between them. Because there was no way in hell, he had just heard what he could almost swear that the other man had said. It just wasn’t possible. He half expected to hear a bark of laughter, hopefully, followed closely by the real reason why he had called.

But it didn’t happen, and Dane cleared his throat, feeling his face tighten as he tried to figure out what was going on. He didn’t like being made fun of, and it almost seemed like that was exactly what was going on.

“What?” he finally prompted and heard the sigh from the other end of the phone.

“Look, I know you and I ain’t always gotten along. We’ve had our differences, haven’t we?”

Dane snorted softly at what he considered to be a supreme understatement.

“You spent half your damn time that I was working there telling me how shitty I was doing,” Dane told him bluntly. “So yeah, it’s a bit of a surprise to hear that you want me to come back.”

“You had gotten a lot better, just in time for you to leave. Maybe what’s-his-face was good for you, taught you responsibility or something, but all I really know is that this place is falling apart without you. I got a proposal for you …”

Dane closed his eyes, and he knew, somehow, that he needed to stop this conversation right now. That whatever his former boss was going to say, it wasn’t something that he needed to hear. A brief flash of people, not just Taylor but also Danica and Rebecca, danced across the blackness of his closed eyelids. He had people. He had a family.

And whatever it was he was going to be offered. It was going to be tempting. He could tell that just from the tone of voice that was being used. If he heard it, he would have to think about whether to accept it or not.

“Not interested,” Dane interrupted before he could hear any more. “I got a thing going here. Got a job, pays almost twice what you were paying me.” Of course, it was more than that, too, but Dane figured the money thing was good enough, something that the other man could understand.

“I could pay you more. A lot more. Whatever you’re making there, I can match it.”

Dane had been pulling the phone away from his ear, actually thinking that that would be a good place to leave the conversation when he heard those words. The tone of desperation was so thick that it reached him even through the miles and miles that separated them, as well as the inches of space between the phone and his head which made the words come out tinny and quiet. But audible.

“What?” Dane asked because it was just then that he realized the sort of situation that his former boss must be in. For him to make an offer like that, he must really need Dane. The guy wasn’t exactly allergic to spending money, but sometimes it seemed like it was close.

“Look, I told you. I need you back. I’ll do what I need to do to make that happen. So name your price, kid. You want it. You can have it.”

A blank check? Was that what he was being given? Dimly, with the blood rushing in his ears so that he could barely hear anything else, he wondered what the man would say if he asked to be put into school, some sort of internet-based class, maybe? Was it possible that this would be how his dreams came true?

But who was he kidding? If there had been one solid truth between himself and Taylor, it was that Taylor was a homebody. He wanted to stay put and had never been much of anywhere. Dane was the one who had always run, but not now. Not anymore. He had made his choice.

“I can’t,” he murmured, and though he would have loved for his voice to come out strong and sure, it didn’t. There was an undertone of torment to it, which too clearly showed his temptation. It was a mistake to show that, showing weakness that he couldn’t afford to show.

And, predictably, it was pounced on immediately.

“Just think about it. Promise me that you’ll think about it.”

Dane sighed. He could easily promise that because he knew that it was an extraordinary offer and that he would be thinking about it for a long time. If nothing else, it was intensely flattering that someone wanted him this much.

Especially since Taylor didn’t seem to want to, he thought.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll think about it,” he said, and then a flash of the life he’d left behind, the smell of popcorn and frying dough and the oil used on the rides, the sounds of the crowds, the roaming, the freedom, all filled him so sharply that it was almost like he had been stabbed in the stomach.

At that moment, he missed it so much it hurt.

“But it ain’t gonna happen,” Dane added conscientiously, despite the twisting hurt in his gut when he remembered all of it. There were more important things than freedom, than travel. Like Rebecca, and Danica. And, of course, Taylor.

Taylor, who barely seemed to be willing to speak to him.

“Just as long as you think about it,” came the reply, and then the call did end, and Dane flopped down like all of the strength had gone completely from his muscles. His phone, luckily, landed on the bed, because his fingers had gone nerveless and he couldn’t hold onto it anymore.

Taylor wanted him around for sex, as far as Dane could tell, and not even that very often. Would Taylor even care if Dane did take his former boss up on his offer? The thought was a guilty one, but he did have to wonder.

If only Taylor would open himself up a little and tell him what was going on, Dane knew that he wouldn’t even be able to consider leaving him. As it was, well, okay, so sue him, he was considering it.