Chapter 14
Matt
“I have to be honest,” Cadence starts, her toes peeking out of the water for a moment. The candlelight flickers across her cheeks as she shyly eyes me over the bubbles.
My heart is in my throat as I wait for her to finish her thought from across the tub. After the mind-blowing sex we just had, I can hardly imagine what she needs to say now. I just hope it won’t burst this bubble we’re in, but if it has to, it has to.
She was right though. She has the most amazing bathroom. I shouldn’t have doubted that. I should have turned the light on the other times I’ve been in here.
She gives me a wicked smirk. “The water feels so good.”
I release the breath I didn’t even realize I was holding and playfully splash her a little. “I thought you were going to drop a bomb on me,” I laugh.
Then her expression goes softer, more serious. “Would that be okay? I want to tell you some things. Explain my erratic behavior.”
Slowly, I nod and rub her legs under the warm water. “Whatever you want to tell me. That’s fine.”
She closes her eyes for a few moments, and when she opens them, they’re clear and expressive. Whatever she’s about to say will be true.
“I was married before. But he wasn’t nice. Or faithful.” She absently plays with the bubbles on top of the water as she speaks. “And I lost a lot of myself in that marriage. We tried many things to make it work, but in the end, I knew I couldn’t stay. But my mother didn’t love the idea of divorce, so then our relationship was strained.”
My pulse picks up as her truth spills out of her mouth. And her story tugs at my heart. I can’t imagine the pain she went through, how lonely she felt. I never want her to feel that way again, so I wave for her to turn around and come into my arms so I can hold her while she opens up to me.
When she’s settled, she holds my arms closer to her and traces lines up and down them. “We’ve obviously worked it out, but mostly because I want to make her happy. I thought working hard at my job and setting goals in my personal life—like running a marathon soon—would please her, but she’s pushed for me to settle down again.”
“Which is why you told her about Brian,” I finish for her. Now, it all makes sense.
“Right,” she says slowly. “She asked for the name of my date to the wedding for the millionth time and I’d had enough. So I made up a name.”
I trail my fingers up and down her shins. “And I happened to accidentally tell your sister that it was me.”
Her body jerks with her small laugh. “I wonder why you were there.” Then she turns her head enough to raise an eyebrow at me.
“Oh, I don’t know,” I say, hugging her closer to me. “Maybe someone ordered a package I’d deliver at the same time she’d be on the phone with someone who needed a confirmation about when and where you’d be that night.”
Her small laugh turns into a full one, and I lean my head down to kiss her neck. All of her noises draw me to her and make me want to be near her. It’s a fucking miracle that she allows me in.
“Another confession?” she says in the form of a question. Then she rests her head against my shoulder and faces the wall. “I wasn’t on the phone with anyone.” Her hands come up to cover her face as her confession sinks in.
I blink at the back of her head. “You mean you were just baiting me?”
“Mmhm,” she hums out behind her hands. Then she lowers them a half inch and peeks over at me.
“I have never been more turned on in my fucking life,” I tell her, tightening my grip around her—before tickling her belly and sending her into a fit of laughter.
Water and bubbles splash over the edge of the tub as she spins away from my grasp, giggling the whole time. When she’s facing me again, her face is red, but embarrassed and freshly tickled is a nice shade on her.
“I’m sorry,” she says when she’s calmed down, her lips still stretched into a grin. “I shouldn’t have done that.
“Oh, you absolutely should have,” I tell her. “It worked, didn’t it?”
She looks thoughtful for a minute. “Yeah, but it was yet another lie.”
That thought has me running through the long list of lies I’ve told. Maybe not to her, but she’s a part of them nonetheless. To my grandpa. To Aidan. Even to Joyce.
“You’re not the only guilty one,” I confess.
“Oh?” One of her eyebrows rises. “Do tell,” she requests as she settles her back against the tub.
I sift through the list, wondering which one to tell her first. “Let’s see.” I tap on my lip. Then I point that finger to the ceiling. “Ahh, there’s the one where I may have stretched the truth about us to my ex-girlfriend.”
“Tried to make her jealous?” she playfully asks.
I cut my gaze to the door of the bathroom as I think that one through. Resting my arm on the side of the tub, I say, “Not exactly. We’ve been over for a while. But she told me that I seemed happier, and she assumed it was because of a woman. So I didn’t tell her otherwise.” I tilt my head from side to side, pondering that. “I guess that wasn’t a lie, but I didn’t correct her.”
She shrugs. “Eh,” she singsongs. “That’s not so bad. At least you’re not a fake-call weirdo like I am.”
My lips thin as I swallow hard. I’m sure fear or embarrassment or you’re totally wrong about that is written all over my face. Maybe a combination of all three. Because I’m worse than a fake-call weirdo. And she may jump straight out of the tub and demand I leave after I tell her this doozy of a lie I’ve been telling.
“So you are a fake-call weirdo like I am?” she hedges, looking amused.
“Worse,” I confirm. “I don’t even want to tell you.” Then I break out into a nervous laugh. The whole thing is so fucking ridiculous. “And I wouldn’t have done it if I’d thought we’d ever meet and do”—I gesture back and forth between us—“whatever we’re doing. But I did.”
“Oh god.” Her eyes go wide, but her mouth stays curved upward. “This is gonna be good,” she snarks, settling in for a good story.
Meanwhile, my stomach knots up at the thought of telling her. She may expect something harmless, but this is creepy and weird. She’s been honest with me though, so I should tell her. Give that honesty right back to her.
Here goes nothing.
I close my eyes and let it fall out of my mouth. “My grandpa kinda thinks we’ve been dating for the last year.”
My words are met by absolute silence. Deathly still silence. It’s killing me not to know how she’s reacting, but I get to keep her a second or so longer if I don’t look.
But I have to know. So I crack my eyes open, and what I see downright astounds me.
∞∞∞
Cadence
I laugh so hard that water splashes over the edge of the tub as my body quakes harder and harder. No freaking way. We’ve both been lying to our families? About each other? Ha!
I can’t stop laughing. Like, I might throw up in a minute from the exertion in my core. But, finally, I sigh and lean my head against the back of the tub, staring at the ceiling.
“What’s so fucking funny?” he says, humor in his tone. Then he splashes me again. “I thought you were going to be furious or make me leave the house without drying off or getting dressed.”
I bring my head down to look at him, still smiling. “Really?”
“Yeah.” He wipes some water off his forehead with the back of his hand. “I was envisioning getting to work tomorrow and finding out that you’ve requested to have me removed from your route.”
Another sigh leaves my lips, this one long and loud. “Ah, no. That won’t happen. Because look. We both did the same thing. It’s kind of funny, really.” Then a giggle bubbles out of my mouth, and I bring a hand up to cover it.
He has humor in his eyes, but I also see fear. “Uh, no. What we did was not the same. I lied to my grandfather for a year. Specifically about you.” He points a finger at me. “I gave him your name and everything.”
“And that’s exactly what I did. Maybe not for a year,” I clarify, holding my hands out of the water, “but I still lied to them specifically about you.”
“No,” he interjects, wrapping his arms around the edges of the tub. While lifting one finger, he says, “You lied about someone named Brian.”
“Which, in my head…” I dip my head, not wanting to say this part out loud. But I have to, seeing as he’s not understanding where I’m going with this. “He was you.”
He opens his mouth to speak but sucks in air and then closes his lips, cocking his head to the side. Finally, he says, “I was always Brian? The whole time?”
Looking up at him through my damp lashes, I nod slowly. “Mmhm.”
Now, it’s his turn to bust out into laughter. “Seriously? You’re as creepy as I am.”
“Hey! It’s a good thing,” I insist, splashing him with water this time. “Now, we have more in common than we thought.”
Before I can pull my hand back, he snags it and tugs me over to him. I go willingly, happy to curl up with him in the cooling water. The bubbles are just about gone, but that doesn’t matter. I could stay here with him forever.
“We have more in common too,” he says, rubbing my back and smoothing my hair down.
I lean back to look him in the eyes. “Do you secretly really like grape jelly like a normal person?” A grin snakes across my lips, but it dies down when he doesn’t fully join in.
The grin on his mouth is sad. Almost curving down at the edges. “No. Sorry to disappoint, but that’s not it.”
I run a hand through his wet hair. “You can tell me whatever it is,” I say, being serious with him now. “I’m enjoying the honesty.”
“Me too,” he tells me, that sad smile still in place. Then he takes a deep breath. “No, it’s that my ex wasn’t very good to me, either.”
“Oh, was she a cheating liar who gave you no affection too?” I deadpan.
The sadness on his lips morphs straight into anger before he smooths it out a little. “He was that bad to you?” he asks, tucking hair behind my ears.
Unintentionally, I move away from his touch. “That’s over now, so it doesn’t mat—”
“Of course it matters,” he insists, fury at my past in his intense eyes. “You shouldn’t ever be treated like that. No one should be allowed to treat you like that.”
I dare to hold his gaze as I hesitantly ask, “Does that mean you won’t?”
Not as hesitantly, he cups my cheek with one hand and holds me around my back with the other, pressing our chests together. With his lips a breath away from mine, he makes me a promise. “Never. I’d never do that to you.”
I roll my lips together as I stare him in the eyes. Every fiber of my being wants to believe him, but I don’t always trust every fiber of my being. I try to trust my gut now. I’ve gotten better at hearing it—just not always listening to it. Right now, though, I hear it loud and clear and decide to go for it. He means what he’s saying, and I want to believe him. So I do.
Closing the space between us, I kiss him to show my truth. To tell him that I’m in. “I believe you,” I whisper against his lips.
“But?” he asks, backing his head away so he can see me.
I didn’t realize that I’d implied a “but” in there, so I narrow my eyes at him. But then I think of two things I can add. “Well, I guess number one is that I want to hear about your ex.”
He lets out a laugh. “It’s not that you need to know my actual name first?”
I smile wide. “Nope. Not that. Not yet. Otherwise, I might slip around my family, and that little gem will have to wait until after the wedding. My mother and my sister are stressed enough.”
“Okay. We can do that,” he says on a light chuckle. “And I’ll tell you about my ex. What else?”
I take a deep breath. On an exhale, I let the words rush out. “I need my own life if there’s any hope of anything between us working out.”
He looks like he wants to ask a follow-up question but isn’t sure where to start, so I explain further.
“I’m going to run a marathon in a couple of months, so I need time for runs and workouts. And I have a successful career that keeps me busy. I have to make time for clients and business events. These things are important to me, and in order to be me, I need to make time for those things. Because I can’t—”
He cuts my rambling off with a kiss. “I won’t let you lose yourself. You know why?”
I shake my head.
“Because I need time too,” he says, brushing my wet bangs off my forehead. “Time to adjust to being part of a couple again. Time to make sure I’m not going to freak out at something small and ruin everything.”
I furrow my brow, but then it hits me. “I assume this has something to do with your ex.”
He nods. Then he gently scoots me back so he can get out of the tub and scoop me out of it. When he sets me on my feet, he takes the towels off the rack and wraps us up.
“Come on,” he says once we’re dry. Then he holds a hand out for me to take. “Let’s get warm and I’ll give you honesty about my past so you understand.”
I take his hand in mine, and he leads me back to my bed. Under the covers, we tangle our limbs and get as close as we can, skin to skin, still slightly damp.
“So,” I start, ready and waiting for his story.
He looks up at the ceiling and pulls in a deep breath. “Well, when I met her, I fell fast. Hard. And, soon, we got—” His voice hitches, so he clears his throat and begins again. “We got pregnant.”
I strain to keep my face neutral. This isn’t what I was expecting. Does he have a kid out there? A son or a daughter he hasn’t mentioned? Lying about dumb things is one thing, but omitting children is another.
“But, after a month,” he continues, his eyes closed, “she disappeared. Just up and left in the middle of the night. And then wrote me an email a week after that to tell me that she’d miscarried and wasn’t coming back.”
I release the breath I must have been holding. What in the actual hell? Who does that to someone? My blood boils at the thought of it, and I want to cry for all of the pain he must have gone through because of her.
“It’s so fucked up, Cade. It broke me. I was a fucking mess, and I never fully recovered. I told her I forgave her when met up last week. She explained that she’d gone to rehab, and she apologized, but…” He trails off, inhaling deeply. “But I’ll never forget, and I don’t how to heal.”
No wonder he so easily agreed to no strings. We’re both just as fucked up as the other from our pasts. But his takes the cake. Hands down.
So I make a promise to him. “I’ll never do that to you,” I tell him, cupping his cheek. “Never. And we can heal together, okay?”
He kisses me until my toes curl. Deep and bruising. Until there’s nothing left to do but reach over him to my bedside table and retrieve a condom. He plucks the foil package out of my hand, but before he rolls it on, he holds it up in the air, away from me.
“These are just for our use now, yeah?” he asks, his brow furrowed.
I give him a slow nod and then a gentle smile.
“Good. I was hoping so.” He rolls it on and then says, “Here’s to going slow and healing.”
With my finger, I motion for him to come my way. Then I say, with sincerity in my voice, “Lay it on me.”