Chapter 5
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Evan used his hand to wipe the steam from his bathroom mirror. He’d turned the heat up as hot as he could take it in order to soothe his aching muscles after a particularly brutal predawn workout.
He’d tossed and turned until four a.m., then he gave up on the fantasy of sleep and decided to spend the early morning hours pushing himself past his limit. In six to eight weeks he would be cleared for normal duty and he wanted to be in peak physical condition when he was.
He sighed as he considered that it had taken him close to a decade to build the career he had, and now he was stepping away from it right when he’d finally rose to the rank that he’d worked so hard to achieve. The position that he’d sacrificed so much to gain. He was voluntarily surrendering the job that he’d poured all of his passion and drive into. Even if it was only temporary, it was a stupid decision.
He didn’t have to accept the offer to work on the film. He could’ve declined and remained in charge of his crew. He couldn’t get fired for actually doing the job that he’d been hired to do.
Still, when the mayor had said that he’d heard he was going to be working with Kyle, he’d answered in the affirmative with no confusion, no hesitation, and no reluctance. And now he was second guessing it. Something he never did. Once he made a decision, he didn’t look back. He hated that he was now.
And the most frustrating part was that the reason he was questioning his decision was the same reason he’d made it in the first place.
Shayne Fox.
Watching Shayne with her young fan had cracked open a place in his heart he wasn’t sure had ever seen the light of day. He was the Millennium Falcon caught in her tractor beam. Of course, in that scenario, she was the Death Star—and for him at least, she might be just as dangerous.
After he got home last night, he’d done some research on Shayne. What he learned only further solidified his opinion that advising on this film was a bad idea. There were multiple reasons that was the case, but the three that were the most concerning to him.
Her age. At twenty-four, he was ten years her senior. Technically she was an adult, but she was young. His rule of thumb, even for casual relationships, was if they weren’t able to drive a car by the time he could drink, they were too young. Shayne was too young.
She had a reputation as a party girl. Evan didn’t normally pay attention to gossip he heard at the coffee shop, but Vivien was right about the rehab. He’d seen several stories that all reported that she’d just completed a thirty-day stint in a substance abuse program. As a person who would forever be in recovery, he knew that the first year of sobriety was not the time to start any kind of relationship, serious or not.
She was attracted to him. Now, he wasn’t so egotistical as to think that every woman was attracted to him, but he also wasn’t falsely modest. He didn’t need to be an expert in body language to read her responses to him. When they shook hands, he’d felt her trembling beneath his touch and her palms melt against his. He’d seen her cheeks flush and her lips part as she licked them nervously. He’d heard her breath catch and the shakiness in her voice.
Damn. Every single one of her reactions had the power to bring him to his knees. In the short time he’d been exposed to her, it was clear that she was his Achilles heel. She made him feel things that he’d never felt before and he felt powerless. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking about her or looking forward to the next time he was going to see her.
He had a sinking feeling that more bad decisions would be made when it came to Shayne Fox.
He stared at his reflection in the mirror and wondered if he’d already made another one. He’d decided not to shave today and had no plans on doing so until he returned to his crew.
Evan was old school, and due to his leadership position, he’d kept himself clean shaven. It had been something that he’d inherited from his paternal grandfather who shaved every day until he passed away at age ninety-seven. His grandfather was a firm believer in being “presentable.”
He’d carried that discipline into his days playing for the Waves, slacked off when he was dealing with his addiction and recovery, and finally reinstated the practice once he’d been promoted to captain and then superintendent.
But for the next six weeks, he was a technical advisor. He wasn’t sure his grandfather, the late great Douglas Bishop Sr., would agree that technical advisors could have stubble. Especially since Evan sprouted a five o’clock shadow by ten a.m., he’d probably be rocking a full beard within a week.
After drying himself off, he pulled on his boxer briefs and stepped into his jeans just as his doorbell rang. He checked the time on his phone and saw that he had thirty minutes before he was supposed to meet Kyle at the gym for their first day of…whatever it was they would be doing.
This entire experience was so new to Evan. Not being in charge. Not knowing everything that would be expected of him and what would be expected of those around him. Control was a state that Evan was used to operating in. Now, someone else was calling the shots. All he knew was where and when to show up.
His feet fell heavy on the creaky wooden steps as he made his way down from his loft bedroom while pulling on a Henley thermal. When he opened the door, he saw Eli standing on the other side.
Out of all of his brothers, he was the closest to Eli. Mainly because Eli had forced it by being his shadow for the first ten or so years of his life. Also, because his two older brothers Easton and Everett were four and six years older than him respectively. Now, the age difference was nothing, but as kids it might as well have been ten years.
“I brought coffee and bagels.” Eli lifted up a Brewed Awakenings bag before handing him a coffee as he strolled past him into the house. “I told Viv to make it extra strong.”
“Come on in,” Evan murmured beneath his breath.
Evan wasn’t one to turn down coffee and bagels but he was a bit short on time. Yes, he had half an hour until he was scheduled to meet Kyle, but in Evan’s book, if he wasn’t ten minutes early, he was late.
Remaining by the front door, Evan explained, “I have somewhere to be.”
“I know,” Eli remarked dryly as he made his way down the hall. “You’re meeting Kyle in thirty at Lucky’s gym.”
Forgetting for a moment what a small town it was, Evan asked, “How did you—”
“I ran into Aurora at Brewed Awakenings.”
Evan had met Kyle’s wife Aurora the night before at the Town Hall meeting, and had noted the same spark in Kyle’s eyes for his wife that Jake and Eli had for their significant others.
When Eli reached the kitchen, he set the paper bag down on the butcher block island and plopped down on a bar stool. “She said that Kyle was excited that you’d agreed to work with him. You had him worried for a minute that you weren’t going to do it. I don’t think that many people tell him no.”
After pushing the door shut with a satisfying thud, Evan followed his brother into the kitchen, sure that he knew the reason that Eli was there and who had put him up to it.
Figuring he’d beat him to the punch, and stop their mom from bugging him, he explained, “As soon as I get more details about my schedule, I’ll call Kenzie and let her know what night would be good for dinner.”
“Oh, okay,” Eli responded as if that was the first he’d heard about a dinner. “I’ll let her know.”
If pinning Evan down about dinner wasn’t the reason his brother had stopped by then he had no idea what was.
Eli took a bite of a bagel, and while he was still chewing, he asked. “Anything else you want to talk about? Anything on your mind?”
His brother’s question was leading somewhere, but Evan was pretty sure it wasn’t anywhere he wanted to go.
“No.”
“Okay.” Eli waited still as if there was more that Evan should say. “So, how are you doing?”
How was he doing? Well, he’d made a decision that he hadn’t thought through and made no sense. This impromptu pop-in was making him tense about being late for a job he didn’t even want. And he was operating on about an hour of broken up sleep, but other than that he was great.
“I’m fine.” Evan crossed his arms. The moment he did, he realized that it could be read as a defensive stance. But he felt fairly defensive, probably because he was cranky from no sleep.
“You’re fine?” Eli’s left brow rose.
Eli might be the brother Evan was closest to, but that didn’t mean that he had any desire to have a Taster’s Choice moment over coffee. Especially one that involved a woman that was completely inappropriate for him and a poor career decision.
“Yep.” Evan intentionally gave his brother the stare. The one that had earned its own nickname. The one that clearly communicated that the subject needed to be dropped.
Eli ignored Evan’s attempt at intimidation, or at least his attempt to put up boundaries and countered, “You’re not fine.”
“Really?” He wasn’t exactly sure why his brother was pushing this, but even if he weren’t fine, he didn’t have a lot of choices about it now. He’d agreed to work on the film with Kyle for the next six weeks.
He hadn’t signed anything yet, but he’d given his word. Another thing he’d inherited from his grandfather was that he lived by the creed that a man was only as good as his word.
“Yes. Really.” Eli placed his hands on the butcher block and stood up. “Noelle is getting married. I know that you two weren’t together anymore but…” his brother’s voice faded in Evan’s head.
Oh shit. Noelle.
That was why his brother was here.
That was the reason he shouldn’t be okay.
That was what he shouldn’t want to talk about.
That was what should be on his mind.
And it had been. When his doctor told him that it would be longer before he could return to active duty, he’d been thinking about Noelle. When Josh at Pine Auto Shop had told him that it would be at least a week because they needed to rebuild his transmission, he’d had the words, “I met someone. I’m getting married. I’m pregnant,” running through his head. When he’d shown up at the community center to go to a town hall meeting he wanted no part of, Noelle’s face was projected in his mind’s eye.
All day yesterday, Noelle and her news was all he’d been able to think about. Until he saw Shayne.
He blinked, trying to remember if he’d thought about Noelle even once since he’d laid eyes on the actress. He’d locked eyes with Shayne from across the room and she’d been all he could see since. All he could think about.
He’d completely forgotten about Noelle.
She’d been a form of amnesia. From the second he saw her, his ex had faded into the background. That unsettling phenomenon now took the number one spot on his reasons working around Shayne Fox was a bad idea.
“So, look I know that it’s not your thing…”
Evan tuned back in to his brother.
“But I’m here if you want to talk. And, look, I know exactly what you’re going through. A few years ago, Kenzie was engaged to someone else, and I was sure there was no way that we were going to work out, but you just never know—”
“It’s not like that. What happened with you and Kenzie isn’t the same. Noelle and I aren’t getting back together.”
“I know it seems like that now, but seriously life has a way of surprising you and—”
“She’s pregnant.” Evan cut his brother off.
He didn’t make a habit out of telling other people’s business, but he knew if he didn’t then Eli wouldn’t drop this. His brother was relentless.
Eli was the one that finally got Evan to admit that he had a problem when he was spiraling from his dependence on painkillers. He was the one that had taken him to rehab. Both times. He was the one that hadn’t left him alone even when Evan had made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with him.
“She’s pregnant?” His brother looked as stunned as Evan had felt yesterday.
“Yes. Don’t say anything to mom or anyone.”
“Is it…?” Eli raised his hand and pointed it at Evan.
“What?” Evan’s face contorted at the ridiculousness of his brother’s question. “No.”
“Hey, I knew you guys still saw each other from time to time.” Eli lifted his hands the same way he had in high school when he’d gone through a phase saying “my bad” every time he said something that pissed someone off. “I thought that maybe you guys hooked up and…”
“It’s her fiancé’s.” Dumb ass. The descriptive name that he’d used more than once in referring to his little brother was at the tip of Evan’s tongue, but he refrained from saying it.
“Right. The doctor.” Eli nodded. “Isn’t it weird that he’s Mom’s—”
“Yeah. It’s weird.” Just because he hadn’t thought about the Noelle situation didn’t mean he wanted to discuss it now.
“Shit. That does make things different.” Eli knew about Noelle’s miscarriage. He’d been one of the few people that Evan had confided in about it.
“We haven’t been together for years. And she’s happy. That’s all that matters.” For the first time since he’d said those words yesterday, he felt like he meant them.
“Damn.” Eli sank back down onto the stool. “You’re really okay with this?”
“I am. I’m even going to her wedding.” If that didn’t prove just how okay he was with all this, he didn’t know what would. Not wanting his little brother to get too comfortable, Evan grabbed the coffee cup. “Thanks for the coffee. And stopping by.”
Evan started down the hallway and was relieved to hear his brother’s footsteps behind him.
They walked outside together, and when Evan stopped at his rental, Eli asked, “How do you fit in that?”
“I don’t.” He unlocked it and was starting to climb in when his brother slapped his shoulder.
“Hey, do you remember last Christmas when Mom was going on and on about how she wished she had a daughter or that one of us was gay so that she could set one of her kids up with—”
“I remember.” Evan internally sighed.
“That’s crazy, huh?”
“Yep.” Evan managed to squeeze his thighs beneath the steering wheel, and he shut the door on his brother and the walk down memory lane.
Evan could hear Eli laughing and he couldn’t blame him, he knew that it must be a funny sight. That didn’t stop him from flipping him the bird as he pulled out of the driveway.
He drove away and thought about what his brother had said. Life did have a way of surprising him. Before yesterday, he thought he had everything figured out. His future had been set. Now, his entire world felt like he was seeing it through funhouse mirrors. It was pissing him off and it should be scaring the shit out of him. But it wasn’t.
Because every time he pictured Shayne’s face he felt the same thing he had the night before…peace.
That did scare the shit out of him.