CHAPTER | NINE
Kelsey’s heart stopped when Tucker’s punch slammed into Jeremy’s jaw. Her boss’s head whipped around, and he staggered to one knee.
For an endless moment, tension sucked the air from the room in a soundless gasp. Everyone froze. Silence deafened.
She broke it.
“Stop! Oh my God.” She scrambled off the sofa, arms still cuffed at her back, panties clinging to her thighs, to glare at Tucker. “You hit him?”
After rubbing his offended jaw, Jeremy fastened his pants and turned to Tucker. Rage boiled in his eyes. “Kelsey is mine. I took her, as is my right.”
“Wait a minute!” Kelsey protested, glaring at Jeremy. “I never said that.”
Tucker pushed her behind him protectively and leaned toward Jeremy, pressing the advantage of his slightly greater height. “She’s not a possession. And you have no right to beat her.”
Beat her? Kelsey’s jaw dropped. How could both of these men who felt so right in her life have gotten the situation so wrong?
“She is right here,” Kelsey pointed out. “And this is ridiculous. Somebody uncuff me.”
Tucker hooked an arm around her waist and slid her to his side. She could feel his critical gaze on her backside. “My God, what did you do? Not only are her hands bound like a criminal, but her ass is bright red.”
“Her skin takes a spanking beautifully. She’s gorgeous bound. And she enjoyed it.” Jeremy’s voice sounded like he was grinding glass with his teeth.
“Not fucking possible.” Tucker shook his head. “She’s too independent to want to be your doormat.”
“Dude, I think Jeremy is telling the truth,” Rhys cut in as he approached Kelsey and put an arm around her. He surveyed her naked body, lingering between her legs. “Her pussy is soaking wet.”
She closed her eyes as mortification and dread slid through her. What the hell was the matter with everyone?
“Someone uncuff me!” she demanded. Maybe then, she could straighten this out. Because right now, this train was on the fast track to disaster.
Jeremy and Tucker both moved in her direction, but Rhys was already fishing the cuff key out of Jeremy’s bag of tricks.
“Ask questions before you throw punches next time. You might find out that she was perfectly willing.”
Both Jeremy’s words and tone were reasonable.
Until he hauled back and delivered a right cross to Tucker’s jaw that sent her friend-turned-lover reeling.
Kelsey screamed. “What the hell are you doing?”
Jeremy turned a hard stare on her, his chest rising and falling with swift, harsh breaths. “Not letting anything or anyone come between us again.”
“Stop it!” she demanded.
As Rhys finally came to the rescue with cuff keys and unfastened them, she rolled her shoulders, grabbed a sofa cushion to cover herself, then turned to Tucker. “And you? What are you thinking? Did you imagine this fight would thrill me? I didn’t ask you to defend my honor.” She looked at them both. Neither looked contrite exactly, but they winced. It was a start.
“I told you that I can’t choose one of you,” she went on. “You all said you understood and would stifle the jealousy. My first mistake was in hoping you could. No, I take that back. My first mistake was falling in love with three men. Being unable to choose was the second. But you can rest assured I won’t make any more mistakes.”
Quickly, she unhinged the little rings from her nipples and threw them at Jeremy. Then she cast an accusing glance at Tucker and stormed out of the room, slamming her bedroom door—and locking it.
What the hell was she going to do now?
Stupid, stupid, stupid. On Sunday afternoon when she’d returned from small-town Motel Hell, she’d feared that a relationship with all or one of them wasn’t going to work. No, if she was being honest, she’d known it. Still, she’d allowed herself to be seduced by them, by her fantasy of being happy with them all. They’d been on their best behavior, not because they’d worked their differences out, but most likely because they’d agreed to temporarily buried their jealousy so she would reject Garrison’s job offer and stay in Austin.
Chewing a ragged fingernail, Kelsey sat on her bed. Great group sex aside, what had changed since she’d downed the bottle of wine and acquired the unfortunate hangover?
Nothing. No, that wasn’t quite true. The jealousy had escalated.
Jeremy was still dominant and possessive. And Tucker abhorred the way he treated her, despite the fact something inside her needed it.
And as Jeremy guessed, Tucker had mentally slotted himself as her man. Clearly, he shared her physically because it turned him on. A shock to her. Probably even a shock to him. But not for one second did she imagine that he wanted to share her emotionally.
No way could Rhys be expected to play referee all the time . . . assuming he’d even want to. Even before they’d become lovers he’d been displeased if he didn’t get enough alone time with her.
Could she possibly ever please them all? Make them secure enough in her relationship with each of them individually to end the resentment and fighting?
Kelsey sighed. Her fantasy of the three men she loved had turned into a nightmare.
In the last nine days, she’d leapt into the emotional pit. Her situation had morphed from difficult to truly fucked up.
Could she ever work alongside Jeremy again and not remember exactly how desirable and submissive he’d made her feel? Could she ever invite Rhys over for a friendly movie again and not dwell on the feel of his mouth on hers, him deep inside her? And Tucker, he could no longer be her rock-solid friend who always helped her through trials and tribulations. Now he’d forever be her alpha lover in her mind, working that thick cock of his into her . . . and directing Rhys to do the same.
The fact that her relationships with them could never be what they’d been nine days ago was entirely her fault. The men . . . they were who they were, and it was her fault for hoping they could accept this. Or thinking she could change them.
At this point, she could see only one course of action—and the mere thought crushed her heart. Tears stung, fell.
“Kelsey?” Rhys called softly from the other side of the door.
So he’d either volunteered or been appointed to draw her out. Not happening until she was good and ready.
Instead of answering—he’d never give up if he knew she was listening—she dragged herself to the bathroom, lugging the suitcase she’d packed for her Miami trip, and turned on the shower. Thirty minutes later, she put the finishing touches on her lipstick, grabbed her suitcase again, and, with a deep breath, marched out her bedroom door.
The three men lingered there, Rhys sitting, Tucker nervously tapping his thumb on his thigh, and Jeremy pacing from one end of the living room to the other. As soon as she stepped into the hall, they all turned her way—and ran to her in one huge wall of testosterone.
“Kels, please don’t be angry.” Tucker stood in front of her, blocking her path. “I only wanted to protect you.”
“And keep you from me,” Jeremy pointed out. “From what we both need, sweetheart.”
Rhys elbowed Tucker aside and took her face in his rough hands. “Please, baby. Let’s talk. We can work this out.”
“No.” She shook her head. “We can’t. It’s my mistake. You’re not built for this sort of relationship, even temporarily. At this point, I’m not even sure I am. Since I can’t choose between you and I created this mess, it’s up to me to fix it. And that’s what I’m doing.”
Tucker glanced at the suitcase she rolled behind her. “By leaving?”
“Do you see another alternative? Because I don’t. I can’t live with just one of you, and you all clearly aren’t going to be happy sharing me. Everything between us has changed, and we can’t go back. Tell my mother I’ll call and explain. Jeremy, I’m resigning, effectively immediately. Rhys, please water my yard until the house sells.”
Jerking free of their touches and wiping away fresh tears, Kelsey fought the urge to hug and kiss them good-bye. Would she ever see them again? Could she be in the same room with them again and not fall into a lovesick puddle at their feet? No, and she’d best leave here now before she lost her resolve and forgot how much she was hurting everyone instead of remembering how much she loved them.
Jeremy grabbed her arm again.
Kelsey looked back, knowing her shattered heart was on her face. “Please. Let me go ...”
A long moment passed. He reluctantly released her.
Biting her lip, Kelsey ran down the hall, dragging her rolling suitcase. She grabbed her purse and opened the front door. Go. Leave! she told herself. She couldn’t do it without looking back at them one last time.
They looked devastated. Tucker’s heartbreak shone from his eyes. Desolation swept across Jeremy’s dark face. Rhys clenched his jaw and his fists, looking a breath away from real tears. Her gut clenched. Her knees buckled. She’d done this to them. Now she had to leave so the healing could begin.
“I’m sorry it couldn’t work. I love you all.” She swallowed. “Be happy.”
A week dragged. Then another. And every time Jeremy walked out of his office and saw his temporary paralegal sitting at Kelsey’s desk, anguish pounded him all over again.
Damn it, he wasn’t sleeping. Or eating. Or focusing on anything except Kelsey.
Where the hell had she gone? Of course, he’d called Garrison the next morning to ask if Kelsey had accepted his job. Bastard refused to say, but his smug tone told Jeremy all he needed to know. Or so he’d thought. But his quick trip to Miami a few days ago and a thorough search of Garrison’s office had netted no proof that Kelsey worked there. Or planned to. The job his rival had interviewed Kelsey for had been filled by another paralegal. But Jeremy felt down in his gut that Garrison knew exactly where Kelsey was.
Jeremy had no fucking clue. None of them did. Unfortunately, she’d changed her cell phone number. Deleted her e-mail account. He’d used every contact he knew to see if Kelsey had started a new paralegal job. And according to Tucker, her parents weren’t talking, either. Rhys had used some of his cop and PI friends to try to find her. All to no avail.
She’d well and truly left them. Jeremy couldn’t avoid the truth that he was largely at fault. Fuck, she’d warned them all along that she couldn’t choose . . . and they’d refused to believe that they couldn’t use time, money, sex, and love to force her. He’d been a jealous bastard and driven a wedge between them.
Now, he regretted it like hell.
A dull headache beat between his temples. Jeremy looked at his watch. Eight P.M. He’d been at work for the last fourteen hours, eaten next to nothing and accomplished even less. But why the hell should he go home to an empty condo, even with his views of the lake, and take stock of just how fucking empty his life was without Kelsey Rena?
A knock on his door made him look up. Rhys and Tucker both stood there. He hadn’t seen them since the terrible evening Kelsey had left them. He’d spoken to each once—long enough to extract a promise to call him if she contacted them and for them to secure a promise in kind.
“Have you heard from her?”
Tucker rubbed his hands nervously. “Yes. When she knew I’d be working and away from my phone, Kels left me a voice mail. She’s due in town for her cousin’s wedding this weekend. She’s asked to see us all at ten o’ clock on Saturday morning at her house.” His shoulders dropped on a big sigh. “She was very clear that we should not assume this means she’s coming home to stay or wants to resume a romantic relationship with any of us.”
Jeremy clenched his jaw. That was Kelsey, unflinchingly direct when she chose to be. “So what does she want?”
Rhys shrugged. “Other than maybe wanting another chance to read us the riot act, I don’t know.”
“Me, either.”
A long, silent moment ensued, and Jeremy turned that last evening with Kelsey over in his mind again.
“What happened that night? Really?” He glared at Tucker. “You couldn’t think for even a second that I’d actually hurt her.”
Tucker’s jaw dropped, suggesting to Jeremy that he’d surely lost his mind. “What the hell else would I think? You’d restrained her so that you could hit her. Where I come from, that’s abusing a woman, and I wasn’t going to stand there and watch.”
Had the asshole never heard of BDSM? “Rhys verified that she was very much enjoying herself.”
“I don’t see how.” Tucker shook his head. “Her ass was bright red. I clearly saw your handprint on her fair skin. She had tears running down her face, for fuck’s sake.”
“From coming so hard! Are you that blind? That unaware of what it means to be dominant with a female?”
“Hey, I’m plenty alpha.”
At Tucker’s objection, Jeremy shook his head. “Not the same thing.”
“It’s not,” Rhys supplied.
“What, are you on his side?” Tucker snapped.
“I’m on the side of whoever can figure this shit out and get her back here,” the fireman pointed out.
“So stop being sanctimonious,” Jeremy snapped. “I saw how you looked at her. You were pissed . . . but you were also hard.”
Tucker’s eyes narrowed. “She was naked. I was furious, not blind. Don’t you dare suggest that I’d get off on hitting a woman.”
“Punching her, no.” Jeremy shrugged. “Slapping her ass and watching it turn red for you, yeah, I think you might.”
“You’re wrong,” Tucker insisted.
“I don’t care about Tucker’s kink or lack thereof,” Rhys cut in. “The truth is, something happened that night and none of us handled it well. She’ll be back in three days and wants to see us. This might be our last shot.”
Rhys’s words shot dread through Jeremy, but damn it if he wasn’t right. “I’m assuming we are all still in love with her?”
“Yes,” Tucker confirmed.
Rhys nodded. “Damn straight.”
Jeremy swallowed. Now reconciling got difficult. But if he didn’t embrace her wants and needs over his own, didn’t love her enough to man up, she’d come and go on Saturday, perhaps never to appear again.
If it was within his power at all, he needed to ensure that didn’t happen.
“Good,” Jeremy asserted. “Until we fucked up, she wanted all of us. Kelsey doesn’t change her mind or heart that easily, so let’s work from the assumption that’s still true.”
Tucker nodded. “And you’re now okay with that?”
“Being without Kelsey is far, far worse than sharing her. If she needs us all ...” He sighed. “I want her happy and need her in my life. Since we all still love her, we’re going to have to learn to work together, get along.”
Rhys’s jaw dropped. “Wow. I wasn’t sure you’d ever get there. You really do love her.”
“Yes.”
The fireman slanted Jeremy a challenging stare. “If she agrees to stay, you know that means we’re all going to fuck her, probably every day. And you’re going to have to deal.”
“I know.” Not that he loved the fact. But it was reality. “Her happiness is most important, and I know you’d never hurt her.”
“Wish I could say the same about you.” A deadly note crept into Tucker’s voice.
“Goddammit, you thick-headed cowboy! Dominance isn’t about beating a woman into submission; it’s about earning her trust. It’s a Dominant’s job to understand his submissive’s deepest desires and give them to her. Part of doing that means he rewards the compliant behavior and punishes the undesirable. She grants trust, and he exercises it, proving he’s worthy, so he earns more and can get to the deepest core of her needs.”
“He’s right,” Rhys concurred.
“How do you know?” Tucker whirled on him, brow furrowed.
The fireman shrugged. “I did the D/s thing with a girlfriend in college. Loved it.”
Tucker rolled his eyes. “Is there anything sexual you haven’t tried and haven’t liked?”
Rhys thought. About two seconds later, he shook his head and smiled. “Nope.”
“I don’t get it.” Sighing, Tucker scrubbed a hand across his face. “But I’ll try to.”
“Think with your dick and not your Southern gentleman upbringing.” Some of Jeremy’s anger drained away. “I pushed Kelsey’s boundaries, and she proved to me that she was every bit ready and happy for more.”
Tucker didn’t say anything for a long minute. “I’ll try to be okay with that—provided she even gives us another chance. I don’t know . . . I’ll at least promise to ask questions before I hit you again.”
Jeremy laughed, feeling lighter than he had in weeks. “That’s a good start, and I’ll do the same . . . but I think I have an idea, too.”