THATCHER
I rest my head against the wall until I feel my heart start to slow down. I seriously thought I had maybe killed my nephew, and now I'm more exhausted than I can ever remember feeling.
Emma, still holding Petey, starts rubbing her nose against his nose. Shit, she was ice cool during all of that. Didn't panic for a minute and she knew exactly what to do. She explained that she had just done a big research project about Poison Control and got to interview some of the people who work in the call center. Even now, she's calm. She says, "Why don't you go take a shower? Petey and I will clean up in here. When you get back I'll finish up down at the utility sink."
I look down at my chest, remembering that I had to take off my stained shirt. I think this might be the only time I've had my shirt off in front of a woman where I wasn't actively trying to take off hers, too. I don't totally get what's going on here, because Emma is seriously sexy, but all I'm feeling right now is gratitude for her. I nod and hurry upstairs. I have to scrub a lot to get all the oily diaper cream off. When I get out of the shower I hear Emma narrating. "We're taking this stinky pile out to the trash. Yes, we are! Yes, that is silly, isn't it? Do you feel better now that you got all that out?"
I walk downstairs and see her holding my nephew, smiling up at me, and I forget for a minute that we are about to start an illusion. This girl is the real deal. Just totally, honestly herself. Wide open. Willing to help me out, even with a baby shit storm. Only now I've roped her into this big lie, and it feels like she's off limits. I plunk a kiss on Petey's head and tell her, "You can go get cleaned up now. I'll try to keep this guy alive while you're down there."
She smiles. I notice that she's totally cleaned up the rug. I didn't even know I had carpet cleaner, but I can tell she scrubbed up some places where the bubble wrap wasn't sufficient barrier. I look at my baby nephew and wonder how such a small person can make such a huge mess. "Petey, man, what the hell did you eat?" He tugs my beard. Seems about right.
Eventually, I hear a car pull up outside. The three of us are sitting on the couch. Emma is coaching Petey through "braiding" my hair. I groan and lean my head on Emma's shoulder. "How the hell am I supposed to tell my brother I almost killed his kid?"
Emma pats my knee. "Petey was never in danger. Poison Control said that brand of cream is as harmless as cream cheese. Just tell Tim what happened."
"You forget that my brother is an asshole." I grit my teeth as the door opens. Alice comes rushing in to take Petey from me and doesn't notice Emma sitting there at first.
"Did you miss Mommy?" She purrs at him, shaking her head and her blonde curls wiggle all around. "Did you have fun here with your uncle and OH MY GOD! Is this her??"
Emma blushes, and Alice shoves Petey into Tim's arms. "I'm Alice Stag." She starts shaking Emma's hand and sits beside her on the couch. She pulls Emma in for a one-armed hug. "We didn't think you were real!! Thatcher, why didn't you say she'd be here tonight? Oh my gosh. You really do have a fiancé?"
Emma sort of waves and I clear my throat. "Tim, Alice, this is Emma Cheswick. My beloved." I grin.
Tim makes a sort of grunting sound. He's still pissed off from the other day, but whatever. Alice claps her hands. "Emma! Are you coming to dinner on Sunday? What's your favorite food? I'll make it for you. Did Thatcher tell you I'm a chef? Don't hold back. Tell me your favorite foods."
"Alice, slow your roll," I tell her, but Emma is smiling.
She says, "Thatcher didn't get around to telling me much about his family yet, although I did hear that his brother Tim is a bit of a big deal." Damn, this girl knows how to work a crowd. I wonder if this is how she gets interview subjects to open up to her. Within a few minutes, she's got Alice talking about her long journey to go to culinary school and how, thanks to Juniper's influence, they now have a daycare right in the office at Stag Law. Petey and their colleague Ben's new son are the only kids in there so far. Alice manages to get Emma to admit Nicky's Thai Kitchen is her absolute favorite place to eat in the city, while they talk about her living on the North Side. Soon, Alice has a whole Thai-themed meal planned out for Sunday and she and Emma look like they've been friends for years.
I sigh, exhaling deeply. I need to tell them about the diaper cream, and I figure it's better now while Alice is over the moon at meeting Emma. "Hey, so, Alice, Petey had quite a diaper incident earlier."
Tim grunts again. "That happens," he says, looking up the leg hole of Petey's new shorts, as if I wouldn't have wiped it all up.
"So anyway," I continue, "It was colossal. Emma had to go soak his clothes in the utility sink, and I looked away for just one second--one fucking second, I swear to you--and Petey ate a bunch of diaper cream." I blow out a breath, anticipating the onslaught.
My brother's face is stony. Irate. "What?"
"Luckily it was the non-toxic kind you had in your diaper bag," Emma pipes in, but Tim interrupts her.
"You need to stay out of this!"
"Tim!!" Alice stands up, looking like she wants to punch my brother.
Tim's face is purple with rage as he looks in Petey's mouth. "Why the fuck are we here and not at children's hospital getting his stomach pumped? Did you even call 911?"
"Hey, whoa, Tim. Take it easy, man. I'm trying to tell you. Emma called Poison Control."
"Take it easy? You called some sort of fucking answering service instead of calling medical professionals at--"
"Actually," Emma's own face is set now. Her voice is strong as she starts to correct Tim. "To work at Poison Control, you need to have a PhD in pharmacology or have at least worked in emergency medicine. These are highly skilled medical professionals, far more so than the paramedics who may or may not have only had a short training course, depending what the city has funding for that year."
Tim closes his mouth. He looks at Emma, waits a few beats, like he's trying to process being put in his place along with accepting that his kid is safe. He inhales slowly through his nose and rubs his hands on his temples. "Please tell me what they said at Poison Control."
He directs that question at Emma, and she answers, touching his arm reassuringly. "They said that brand of diaper cream is non-toxic--basically just like cream cheese. For Peter's age and weight there is absolutely nothing to be worried about."
Tim nods and stoops to pick up the diaper bag. He starts walking out, but Alice says, "Timber Stag. I think you owe Emma an apology." She raises a brow and her violet eyes slice daggers at him. She's clutching Petey to her chest now and he has his head down, like he's about to fall asleep.
Tim sighs. "Emma, I apologize for my tone. I felt frightened for my son's safety and I was out of line to speak to you that way." I marvel at how Alice gets Tim to behave like a human. I've been the target of his snap panic more times than I can count, and I've never gotten an apology when he jumps to conclusions. No wonder he always said Alice drove him crazy when they first met. Marriage really suits him, I guess.
Tim raises his brows and looks back and forth between Emma and Alice. Alice smiles and kisses his cheek, and Emma says, "That's ok. I'd be scared, too, if I'd left my kid with Uncle Thatcher." She winks one of her green eyes and hot damn, if I don't get hard. I cough and adjust my pants, trying not to think about Emma that way.
The mood feels instantly lighter. We walk my family outside and they drive off in their super-safe Volvo. I look around, but I don't see Emma's car.
"Where's your car, Chezz?"
"I don't drive," she says. "I took a Lyft here."
"You don't drive? In Pittsburgh? How the hell does that work?"
She shrugs. "Plenty of people don't have cars. We have buses, you know."
I laugh a bit. "I guess. Well go on and get your stuff. I'll take you home. It's the least I can do for you."
She nods. "Oh I know," she says.
After I drop her off, I notice that my truck smells like her. Like jasmine and mint.